I felt like the next couple of weeks was just torture for me. I couldn’t sleep, eat, or even take care of myself. Some days were better than others. But some days I just didn’t want to b her. I felt like my whole world would just start tumbling down. I went into my closet and got out the box of pictures I had to see her…her face…her smile…I pulled out the box and dumped them out all over floor. I shuffled through them and remembered all the fun times we had with one another. I couldn’t have imagined that I would be in this situation. Out of all the years we were married I was so in love with her and don’t get me wrong I still am. But there is just so much in take of everything. And I don’t even want to know if I could tell her straight to her face. I just wish there was just some way I could tell her how I really feel without actually having to make contact with her. And then I remembered what my mother said ‘ if you ever just need to get something out you just write it down in a letter and then just send it off’ so here I am no sitting at my desk with a piece of paper and a pen.

Meagan,

I am only writing you this letter only to tell you how I am really feeling about our situation.

I couldn’t imagine being without you. You meant everything to me and we both just kind of threw it all away. I loved you so much I cant help but love you Meagan. I am sitting here at my desk and looking at all of the pictures of us together. I remember all the fun times we had going to the beach…going to concerts and just hanging out with our friends. And when we got married we were so in love. What happened to that? Things seemed to change when we had Nikki. I cant believe we ever split up. Having to toss Nikki back and forth its nerve wreking if you ask me. Why cant we just get back together? What am I saying? It will never happen. All the pain that you have caused me. I am sleeping on the floor instead of the bed where we used to sleep together. Its just killing me to even write you this letter….this is me telling you I love you and I always will and I hope one day you realize that and don’t come crawling back to me because I wont be here. I am moving with Nikki where I can start my life over again. Good-bye Meagan.

Love-Alex

I signed the letter and put it into an evelope and sealed it. I felt better now that I had gotten everything off my chest. Even though I still wrote that I still love her…even though I’m not supposed to love her anymore.

Song Credit ‘Not Supposed To Love You Anymore’ By: Clay Aiken