Keria watched as the moonlight came in through the window and made Him look even more angelic than he really is, it softened all of his rougher features, even though you can tell he is and was physically exhasted with life and everything life has to bring, all that eases away when he sleeps its like its a drug that whipes hours, days away from your life. Or Perhaps maybe Keria is Nicks Drug, and it has nothing to do with the moonlight, it has to do with Nicks recent company, and the Auora of love that surronds him.
That look of complete and utter contentment made Keria Sick to her stomach, knowing it was her lies and decipht that was keeping nick in his peaceful state. Keria always promised herself after her past relationships she was never going to slide back into her catty ways of lies. A knot of lies can only hold so much before the knot gives way and causes everyone holding on to the rope fall things get Broken in this case, hearts and lots of them.
Keira was sweeping the stray peices of nicks hair that would fall into his face every so often, she just watched him sleep and she knew she couldn't do it anymore. She made her bed and she had to deal with it, it kills her with every word that comes out is followed by a string of lies. She couldn't do it to him or herself first thing in the morrning she was going to leave without another care in the world, just leave.
"Its better this way right?" Keria asked Andrea, while she had one of her hands whiping the stray tears that escaped from her.
Andrea had no idea what to say to that, she was at a loss of words " I really dont know I think its best if you tell him that he has a little girl named Maddison sweetie. I know its hard but she is a spitting image of him. We can look after as long as you need, even if you don't think your ready to tell him. As soon as he sees you together hes going to put to and 2 together. Just Remember she is your daughter, and she misses her mommy. We will be home a in a week. Do you want to talk to her?"
Keria sniffed and smiled and Remembered the first day she held Maddison Kayla C. Marie, in her arms. She has never loved anyone as much as she loved her. Her Her Best friend Andrea and her Husband have been a godsend while she was on her special mission, 'Get Carter'. Soon enough though Andrea and her husband james had to come back .Andrea was in her 6 month of preganancy with a Baby boy Braden James Smith. Keria couldn't thank god enough for Nick going home it gave her some more time to think about how or if she was going to tell Nick the Truth. Of course he deserved to know, but did he want to know that was the question that has been lurking over her head for a couple of years now.
"Keria, are you there hunny?" Andrea asked
"Yea, Im here I uhh of course I wan't to speak to her, shes my baby girl."
Andrea sighed " You know somedays im not so sure."
Keria covered her mouth so nick wouldn't here her loud sob, when she heard Andrea yell for her and Nicks babygirl.
"Maddie, sweetie mommy's on the phone."
Keria took a deep breath " MOMMY, I miss you so much! When is your business trip done? I love you so much Uncle James has been teaching me how to swim. I wish you could see me Auntie Andrea tells me I am like a fish. I miss you when you dont tuck me in or kiss me good nite. I saw a little girl yesterday at the pool at Auntie Andreas grandmothers house in mexiKo. Mmmm, well where we are now. She asked me why your not here and where is my daddy. I Told her that you are very busy working, and im on a Vactaion. And I told her I dont know who my daddy is. Mommy who is my Daddy?" Maddison inquired for the hundreth time in her short life span of 3 years old.
Keira felt so Guitly she was keeping to amazing people from meeting eachother, she was keeping a father and daughter seperated she feels she should go to jail or something. At frist she told herself she was protecting them, deep down she knew she was protecting herself from loosing the man she loves, and losing the respect from her little 3 year old daughter. It made her sick to her stomach that when she mentioned Maddie to her father, she told him that she was only 2 and not hers.
She felt so guitly...
"Mommy, are you there?"
"Yes im sorry baby girl mommy is here, Im going to get to see you real soon and someday I will tell you who your daddy is sweetie."
Maddie sighed " You know when is someday, mommy someday never comes."
Keria swallowed her tears " I know baby girl someday it will though okay, I love you so much tell Auntie Andrea, and unlce James I have to go, see you soon sweetie. Mommy misses you and loves you."
"Mommy...I love you, dont be scared Nickers is home to protect you, mommy can we get a dog like Nickers or maybe a kitty kat?"
"Well see baby, mommy loves you so much."
"Bye mommy I love you too- Ohh wait mommy before you go I want to sing you a song I learned today. Are you Ready?"
Keria smiled " You betcha, but then I really have to go okay?"
"Okay mommy, here it is...
"You are my Sunshine, my only sunshine
you make me happy when the skys are grey.
Ohhh, mommy you dont know how much I love you.
Please dont take my sunshine away"
Keria let her sobs escape, she never realised that the water turned off, she was so into the intense conversation she was having with her little girl...
"I love you baby, You know I loved it. I have to go okay. Bye Sweetie I cant wait to see you."
Keira hung up the phone " **** it why am I doing this to us." Keria asked herself outloud then suddenly she noticed the water was stopped and she put her head up and looked in the mirror and saw nicks face staring back at her.
She saw the angry expression on his face " Thats exactly what I want to know, whay are you doing this Keria you say you dont want to lie anymore. Then you come into the bathroom and talk to your other lover. After you make love to your current lover. Keria you make me dizzy with all the ****ing lies you tell!" Nick yelled punching a hole in the wall.
"I Actually believed you were different than that!" nick went and grabbed his shirt and started to put it on. Here I was listening to you cry on the other side of the door thinking it was about the 6 month no sex rule. Is that just something you say with part of your head games. Im leaving Keria, I cant take your bull****. Any of it." Nick shut the bathroom door and sunk down it.
"Why do I let every single person do this to me, Am I just destined to be alone?" Nick waited for Keria to say something her silence said it all, its all true everything. The love of his life or so he thought the person he knew was his one and only was ****ing some other inocent fool behind his back.
"Nick its not like that!! God its complicated." keria pleaded and walked over to him.
"Haha, yea right its not like that you know what im not gonna be the innocent fool in this game. I caught you plain and simple. I dont think your current love affair would like to know about your boyfriend, wait a minute maybe hes your husband. I have been the victim to this hell i even was the affairee before. Im not going to let you get away with this." nick said pissed grabbing kerias phone and pressing redial and pressing the speaker phone.
"Mommy, you called Back. I knew you missed me. Guess what me and Auntie Andrea and Uncle james are doing? Were playing the aminal games that we play. When you make a noise, and I have to guess Im having so much fun. I wish you were here mommy is your buisness trip finished?"
At first Nick thought maybe she called an aunt or uncle. and she got mommy and auntie confused. Deep down he knew it wasn't true though. As soon as he heard andrea get on the phone " Keria I think you really should wrap things up with Nick, and Get back to your daughter. you need to tell him".
Nick looked over at Keria with wide eyes " Its for you."
He walked out of the room and went and sat on the bed, and waited for keria to hang up. A few minutes later she walked out with puffy eyes and cheeks.
"So what lies have you been feeding me now Keria?" nick asked emotionless " What do you need to tell me?"
Keria stuttered....
Nick got up from the bed and lit a cigerette and paced around the room in circles " you know what I already know you have a daughter and a family. Your leaving me."
"**** it keria I deserve to know." Nick screamed.
"Im sorry Nick...I have a daughter im sorry I didn't tell you, The father isn't around though."
Keria was beating herself up inside " Lies, more, lies,More ****ing lies."
"you have a daughter?" Nick stuttered.
,
"You didn't tell me why?" Nick questioned, not a picture of her or anything.
Keria opened her wallet and behind her drivers liscense was a picture of maddison.
nick took it in his hands his heart rate starting to come back to a steady pace. He flipped the crumpled picture over and saw Maddison Kayla C. Marie.
Nick asked shakily "Shes gorgeous Keria, what does the C. Stand for?" Nick couldn't help but smile at the little girl, for some reason Nick wanted to be the first person Keria would ever have a child with.
Keria took a deep breath " Her Daddys last name."
"Im sorry I didn't tell you." Keria sighed.
"Yea, me too. I really dont know what to do with this. All these lies. I dont trust you. Maybe we should just cool off for now, and give me time to think this through, and see where our hearts are. If you cant trust me enough to tell me that you have a daughter. Then I really dont think we should be together. Im sorry I freaked out on you, but uhhh I dont have any trust in anyone female. so Uhh im going to leave now." Nick stuttered and gave Keria a big hug. " I love you, I really do. I just dont think you love me as much as you think you do. If you did you wouldn't keep breaking my heart like this."
With that Nick walked out of kerias life, and left Keria speechless. She was her own worst enemy she really should of listened to Natalie when she told her that.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
The Title tells it all!!
Hope you enjoy, and thanks for reading!
luv ya lots,
oxoxoxoxoxo
~*manda*
Hope you enjoy, and thanks for reading!
luv ya lots,
oxoxoxoxoxo
~*manda*
