It has been 2 months since Keria and Nick have spoken, and it really showed in both of them, they were both just so emotionless and less passionate with everything. Nick and the boys have been trying to record a song and practice for the up-comming tour they were going on, it was going okay but Nick was always in LaLa Land, he missed song cues, he was missing dance cues, he was messing everyone up. And taking everyone away from doing other things, at this rate the album was going to come out in 2 years and not one. They have already spent 5 days recording and dancing to routines they have already down pact from other tours. His head just wasn't in the game.
Johnny came out and slammed the door " Carter, your flat again you would think by the 10th time, you would have it by now."
Nick just took a deep breath "Sorry, just not feeling well "Nick lied through his teeth he felt better than he has in awhile health wise but his heart just feels empty.
Johnny eyed him supsiously " Nick, the last time you acted like this you were on every kind of drug and were to drunk or hung over to focus, are you sure your alright you need to talk to the counselor Stephanie again? Cause I can have that arranged. I know you have been under stress lately and all so if you need to talk to someone dont be afraid to ask."
"Yea were here for you Bro" Kev spoke up then all the others came over too, and patted his back.
Nick put his hands up " No, its not that" Nick yelled in fusturation "Trust me its not that I wont put any more of you through that."
"Carter if I didn't know any better, I would say you left yourself in Australia." Johnny sighed " Lets try this again, Nick please dont mess up after this you all can go home. Just this one song thats all i ask for. I dont think its to **** much." Johnny rubbed his tense neck muscles and went back in the recording studio.
Nick looked out the window and at his bandmates and took a gulp out of his water bottle, in this particular song it was howies and a.j's song on the Album all nick had to do was harmonize right with the boys in the chorus and durring the bridge the each had to sing a line. Thats all he had to do and it has taken them all day to get one track down. Nicks heart just wasn't into singing about love and trust. Heartache he could nail, but this just wasn't working for him.
"Johnny's right you know Nick, you really need to get your head in the game here, obviously somethings bothering you." Howie stated " I wouldn't be pushing you right now but i really gotta meet the fiance to figure out the food menu. I have a flight to catch at ohh lets say 90 mins, but johnny said no one can go until you nail this." Howie sighed fusturatedly.
Nick pep talked himself " Howie, do this for howie." Get out of here and get drunk! sounds good.
it took 2 more takes but they finally got it right...
Howie ran out the door as fast as he could, and Brian said he had to go cause kevin was leaving, and He and the family were staying at Kevins while they were recording.
So nick was just putting his sweaty clothes in his Nike bag, and zipped it up when A.J stopped him. "So when are you going to call her?" A.J rolled his eyes.
Nick played stupid " Call who?"
"Nick I always hated playing your games and trust me their still not cute, the Freakin easter bunny man. That chick you were seeing, you havent been the same since you got back."
"Mmmm, Shes great, Im great everything is just ****in fantastic..." Nick rolled his eyes and sighed scarcastically while he replayed the 2nd confrontation of the evening at Kerias a week ago.
[I]"Yea, I Agree with Natalie on that one." Nick half smiled, and shook his head.
Keria whiped hey eyes "You came back?" Keria asked hopeful.
"Not for what you think, I just came back to get my belt." Nick sighed and bent down and picked it up.
Keria laughed " You came back for a belt?"
"Yea, I guess I couldn't leave you like this." Nick looked at his shoes, like he was trying to figure out how to tie them with out bending down and tieing them.
"Why didn't you just tell me the truth?" Nick sat down next to her on the bed, and placed his arm around her. "do you think that I wouldn't like to know you have a daughter. Do you think I would judge you. Do you not trust me enough to let me know the truth." Nick asked with hurt in his eyes.
Keria didn't say anything just looked at him, and thought to herself 'The truth I don't even know what the truth is anymore I lie so **** much. Nick would never forgive me if he knew.'
Nick looked at her and stood up when she said nothing at all " Thats it isn't it.
Your silence says anything if thats what you really think about me. Do you really think I would be that cold god I love you Keria, God forgive me I don't know why I love you all you do is ****ing hurt me with your lies. your the most selfish, amazing person I have ever known But I love you god I have loved you since the first day I met you. I broke things off with my ****ing wife to be with you, Keria. This is what I get, Absolutely nothing in return. " Nicks voice started out loud then got really quiet and had to fight away the tears that were threatening to escape.
Keria started to cry a little harder and found it hard to find her voice but once she found it she sure did use it "**** it Nick, are you shure this is the first ****ing time we met, and you didn't leave your wife for me you left her because you were unhappy. You want to know what, when you remember all those nights you spent all drunked up and ****ed up on everything you come and see me and until then dont bother speaking to me. I gave you something alright and you know what you gave me something in return."
Keria didn't say another word, she walked into the bathroom and locked the door "Keria what in the hell is that supposed to mean?" Nick shouted banging on the wall.
Keria opened the door "Okay so tell me to my face you remember everyone you were with".
"Keria I Remember everyone." Nick said a little ashamed that he just lied to her.
"You know what Nick, Your pissed at me for lying but you know what your just as selfish and cold as I am." Keria was barely thinking straight anymore.
"Do you know something I dont keria about my life, where you following me then too?" Nick asked this was not how he pictured there last night with eachother. " Do you always sleep with the people you are stalking, I bet that girl in the picture isn't even yours?"
Keria glared at him "Trust me she is, 10 hours of labour prove it. You know what **** you at least her Daddy wasn't a crack addict like you."
"Ohh, yea he must be a real winner if hes not in your daughters life, by the way does your daughter know, how ****ed in the head you are?"
"You said it Nick not me, Her Father is a real peice of work thats for sure." Keria had tears rolling down her cheeks. " Good thing hes not in her life, I wouldn't want him to break her heart like the bastard standing before me Broke mine. Leave Nick I never want to speak to you again."
"Ohh trust me Baby, I am gone and for the record if you write any of this. I will sue your *** and you will lose the child you care so much about, that is never with you and hasn't been with you in a few weeks. Thats real good child care. I grew up with gold digger parents like you that dont give a **** and you know what I dont wish that on anyone. When i have a child I will treat he or her a hell a lot better then you have treated your child. you know I can't believe the person I see, and the person you are so different guess i was blinded by ****ing lies."
"you know what Nick your the person I always thought you are, and thats why things are the way things are. You haven't changed as much as you think you did you didn't trust me your still the same guy you were when you were 25, guess it wasn't just the drugs to make you be an *******, that was all you babe." Keria was yelling in his face.
"Leave before I call the cops, and take your stupid belt with you" Keria through the belt at him and went back in the bathroom and slid down the door. "What have I done?" She asked herself.
Nick walked out the door for the 3rd time in 5 days but this time she finally pushed him away with good, the door slam was the signal for that.
***End of Flashback**
A.J laughed a little " Ahh, do I sense some scarcasm there?"
Nick faked smiled " Can't I have a bad day, why do you all think something is bothering me?" Nick defended himself.
"if nothing is bothering you then, why do you have tears in your eyes?" A.J Asked
Nick smiled to himself 'leave it to A.J to state the obvious.'
'Well I am living with my ex wife until i find a place of my own, hearing her have sex with everything with 2 legs disgusts me.'
"Nick, Stop lying you hate liars. You know thats not it, Isabelles a ***** and always will be whats really bothering you?" A.J and nick were still sitting in the changing room at the rehersal hall.
Nick sighed " How bad of a guy was I, When I was messed up a few years back."
"Pretty messed up Man, I always knew cause I went through it. I wish I would of said something or confronted you. The group and everyone was just getting a long so well I didn't want to jepordize things with you, I wish I would of though. I sometimes feel responsible to how you got the way you did.I also know you weren't ready for help, Until that Girl I dont remember her name but Nick she saved you. Not me or the other guys if she wouldn't of said anything I don't know where you would be today, or any of us." A.J replied shutting his eyes recalling the events.
Nick looked at him stunned "Really, you knew. Guess it doesn't suprise me, tell me did I sleep around a lot."
A.J laughed " Man, every night you had a new hooch. Even when you were with Issabelle, when things were pretty good between you too, too."
"Why all the questions?" A..J asked. "Do you need to talk to stephanie ag-" The rest of his conversation was cut short when the phone rang.
"Yes Babe, Okay Im sorry I was talking to Nick. Im sorry I dont know how I could forget our first doctors appointment for our baby. Yes I know that your carrying this around for another 6 1/2 months. No im not going to forget to pick our child up, Yes I will be right there. I love you, Yes I know im lucky that you love me. Yes I want to be able to have children again, I'll be there baby with your favorite ice cream. Yes I know your lucky to have me. Yes I know im the best. Baby, I'll be there. I love you, Bye see you soon." A.J hung up the phone.
Nick laughed " Dude, she got you whipped. Guess you gotta go huh.?"
"Yea but at least im makin babys, the Alex Gene is spreading and yours are getting all old and rusty. wont be able to have little carters thank god for that. Wait your brother is still alive. Were in trouble. Seriously though dude call her, it will make you feel better."
Nick laughed " Yea, maybe well give your best to Kat and my little neice or nephew, you better get there. Or your not getting any in a long time."
A.J laughed " Yea, you wanna bet shes as willing as she has ever been and kinky. **** she can't do without. im good to go. bye Nick."
"Later Man." nick walked out to his truck and drove to the ocean, and contemplated calling her.
"Hey, Keria its me Nick....
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks for reading guys...
hope you like it, as much as I enjoyed writing it!
luv ya lots,
oxoxoxoxoxo
~*manda*
hope you like it, as much as I enjoyed writing it!
luv ya lots,
oxoxoxoxoxo
~*manda*
