Nick walked over to them "Please tell me that your fucking joking, please tell me that im not hearing this correctly."
The words rang over and over in Kerias mind. She didn't know what to do she looked over at Kevin. The always wise one was speechless. Of course Kevin had just about as much heat riding on this pluse give or take a little.
Then all of a sudden nick shook his head, shut his eyes and grabbed the back of his neck trying to relieve a little bit of tension. He turned around and yelled into the Phone " Isabelle this is bullshit. Just give me the damn divorce. Theres no way we are going to work this out. This isn't a trial seperation. Sweetheart do you really want me to take you to court?? Cause I will. Please this is howies weekend and im not going to be talking about divorce here anylonger."
Nick turned back to Kevin and rolled his eyes at his Ex-Eife. "Nick, do you realise how chilidish im being."
"Issabelle im not fighting with you anymore over this stuff. one way or another im going to have this divorce, I dont want to be with you anymore I dont love you, I love Keria."
Nick looked to the floor he has never really said those words out loud to anyone before well to Keria earlier and Kevin heard and his heart dropped at the time Kevin was trying to make things right for his lil brother. At the time he thought he had made the right decesion seeing as Kevin never told any of the other guys.
Kevin looked over at Keria and saw the same guilt ridden face. This time their was something a little different about her. Mixed with guilt, their was hurt, but most of all their was so much love. Now it was complicated and messy before it was just messy. Now it gets complicated cause if this secret was to get out it would more than likely be the end of the backstreet boys. Not only as a group but most importantly as Best friends, Brothers!
Kevin remembered the day like it was just yesterday and the months later that followed the decipht of Nick, and his little girl.
Kevin was sitting on the tourbus on the way to North Carolina to do a radio interview. They were on a press tour promoting the new album that was currently left untitled didn't really have many songs recorded cause Nick had most of the harmonies and such. he was out "sick". Or thats what everyone thought no one knew he was in for Excessive alcohol and Drug Abuse. No one knew but the people that needed to know.
Kevin was almost asleep when he heard his cell phone ringing.
"Kevin looked at the number and didn't recongize it but the last time he didn't answer his cell phone he missed his plane and a concert and got in shit for it too. so that wasn't happening this time.
"Heylo" Kevin answered
"Hey, Ummm I Was wondering if i could speak to you about something. I don't know if you remember me or not. But my name is Keria Marie I met you awhile back."
Kevin was racking his brain he didn't know a Keria marie. Sometimes he swore fans expected him to remember them .When he seen thousands of women/girls a day. For some reason the name stuck out to him.
After a moment of silence Keria laughed " This is crazy, you don't remember me do you."
"Uhh, im sorry darlin I dont, but your name does seem familiar for some strange reason."
"I met you at a resturant with you and the other guys awhile back and I kind of told you about Nick and what he was doing."
Kevin smiled " I was waiting for you to call, on behalf of all the boys we want to thank you, I know it couldn't of been easy."
Keira laughed and rubbed her protuding belly, she loved her un-born child. Abortion had rung through her head a couple times. She couldn't bring herself to do it.
"No it definately wasn't the easiest thing to do, but im glad he is getting the help he needs, look theres also another reason why I was calling is their any way i can get in touch with Nick, their is something i need to talk to him about." Keria said with shaky breaths.
Kevin could hear the un-easiness in her voice.
"Im sorry Keria I can't give you Nicks number its not my place unless I talk to him first!" Kevin smiled through the phone. " Speaking of which im not really mad but how did you get my number in the first place."
Keria stuttered " Uhhh EBay *loL* for like $200.00"
kevin chuckled " Wow, well im glad it was the right number. kind of makes me think who to give my number out to, and who not too."
"Yea, kinda crazy, makes you wonder whos trust worthy and whos not. I understand about the whole not giving me nicks number and such but theirs something important that I need to tell him."
"What is it?" Kevin asked " Look keria I know nick probably led you on but him and Issabelle are doing great and trying to start a family. I saw how nick was with you, He connected with you, Im not giving you nicks number. He is getting his life back on track and he doesn't need you to get in the way of that."
"I dont want to get in the way of that Kevin, I never once said that. But its really important Kevin."
"Keria just tell me the message and I will tell him." Kevin was getting fusturated. She knew she coulnd't of been calling just to see how he was doing he was sure their was a price and cheque that was going to get sent to her. She was just like the others.
"Kevin, Look I know your the allmightly fucking protector but this isn't really something that you want to hear from a friend. This is kind of personal and Im pretty sure that nick is a decent human being and would like to know what i have to tell him."
"Keria rasing your voice to me isn't going to get your way its just going to get me to hang up on you. I would love to help you out hunny but I can't."
"Look kevin im sorry for bothering you, but I didn't have $10,000 dollars to pay for nicks number or I would of I thought that you would have the decency to help me out here."
"look Im not calling for a booty call but as I said their is something personal that I need to talk to him about. Im not telling him through you so you can either give me the number or you can make nick live a lie, he would never be living a fullfilled life. Im a true believer in everything happens for reason. I wish it never happened in the first place do you know what its like to be a one night stand and just get left no phone call, no nothing."
"Keria I want to help you I do."
"You know what Kevin stop the bullshit if you wanted to help me you would. you just don't want to too. Because you dont want the BSB reputation to go down the drains. You know what dont tell him when his fucking daughter tries to contact him and does. Because Sweetheart the truth always comes out. Its going to be on your fucking head that nick didn't know he had a daughter."
With that Keria hung up on him and shut her phone off and needed to lay down her head was spinning she was already having a pretty dificult pregnancy she was just so stressed out. They already told her she lost her baby, so for a week she was partying like crazy she was getting use to the fact of having a baby. Then she needed to go in and get cleaned out or something. When she got their she told them that she could feel something moving around in side of her then they put her on medds to calm her down. then she freaked out and said that she could feel something moving that her baby wasn't misscarried and sure enought they did an ultrasound and she definately had a little girl.
Keria was awoken by a ringing phone she layed on the couch with a face cloth over her eyes it helped keep the light out. she was so stressed out and had a miagraine one of the worse ones ever. The whole talk with kevin through her over the edge. She kept patting the floor she didn't want to move cause the room was spinning, her head was paining.
"hello" Keria sighed
"Hello" the voice sounded familair on the other end to keria.
"Hello is this Keria?" Kevin was about to hang up
"Yea this is Keria but look whatever your selling I dont want, I dont want to do any surveys, questionaires. Or anything like that so I would appreciate it if you call back later or never whatever suits you. Have a nice day!" Then keria hung up.
"god damn it, what do you want" Keria said aggitatedly into the phone.
"Keria, I just called here a minute ago and you hung up on me. Im not a tellemarketer or whatever you think it is I am."
Keria glared " I think your an asshole, thats what I think you are. What do you wan't Kevin I have nothing left to say to you.
Kevin sighed " Look I guess I deserve that, Okay I know I deserve that. Look you dont know who you can trust and who you can't and honestly. If you are pregnant how do I know its really nicks. Im not saying thats how you are but its nothing personal. Do you know how many people say that they are having our babies. They put howie through that awhile back and it turned out it wasn't his and he was paying child support. you just don't know who you can trust and you can't.
"Thats why Im going to meet with you sometime, and analyze the situation. Its not the backstreet boys rep im worried about its my little brothers rep. His rep isn't all that great after the whole paris Bai ling thing he's known as a regular play boy. Hes also dealing with drug issues so when the babys born im going to take a peice of his hair and do a DNA test and from then we well take it by ear."
"You know what if you think so fucking little of me I dont need your help nor Nicks help I think its a pretty shitty thing to do to one of your friends. You know what I know its nicks baby, I don't want money or anything from you or nick. I just want Nick to know that in 4 months if all goes well, nicks going to be a father because he deserves to know. so you know what Kevin just give me your adress and I will send you a picture. Im not going to degrade myself enough to have a DNA test done on my little girl. Im not a slut i haven't slept with anyone since Nick. I slept with someone a year prior to that. Not that its any of your fucking buisness. Trust me Nick will know, and he will know that its your fault he didn't know sooner.
"Keria look, as I said its nothing personal. But it needs to be done in this type of buisness."
Keria lost it " You know what what happened to being a fucking human being. You know what i will send you a picture when shes born after all a picture says a thousand words."
"Look, Keria."
"Kevin, fuck off, stop its Done! I dont want to talk to you nor hear from you anymore. If and when Nick knows he can issue a paternity test. You have no fucking right to tell me what i can do and I what I can't. Neither does nick. But its his right to have a paternity test done. not yours I didn't sleep with you its not your fucking baby! God just dont call me ever again, after all if my little girl doesn't know her father its on your head."
She left kevin speechless, she knew kevin was just trying to help out. help his brother, she a great deal of respect for that. But this really isn't any of his fucking business and he was trying to order her around. she wasn't having any of that.
A few months later kevin recived an e-mail, he hasn't slept well since the first convserations they had. Waiting to see when and if nick was going to find out. Their was a few times when nick went up to kevin and was obviosuly pissed at him but it was always for other reasons. Kevin didn't want to be the result of the group breaking up. He wanted to sleep though, the damage had been done. He looked at the picture and felt sick to his stomach. under the picture it said maddison Carter Marie. Obviously she gave the baby his last name. Maddison and Nick looked so much alike you didn't need a DNA test. He emailed her back and got her adress he sent her money and she always sent it back this went on for a year. Kevins wife almost broke it off with him, she thought he was cheating cause he was acting different.
One day Kevin broke down and said im just dealing with a lot of buisness and issues with a friend shes going through some hard times so thats why he sent a cheque. Then kristin would always say why is the money back. He told the truth shes to proud to ask for help and keep the money.
Then one day kevin recieved an email it read like this, Kevin could still remember the words, word for word. Its when he realised he made the biggest mistake of his life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Kevin,
Im sorry to be writing you this in email. I just can't bring myself to really speak. beleive it or not you are one of the few people that i have spoken too and know about Maddison. I need money! You know I wouldn't take it if I didn't need it. I need it I am working 3 jobs at the moment I barely see my little girl one of my jobs is just to pay the babysitter basically but 2 jobs just doesn't bring in enough income. Im done asking you for Nicks number, everything happens for a reason im a strong beliver in that so maybe nick would be a horrible father and im just protecting her.
Anyways their was a time when i was pregnant that i was drinking. I was having complications and they had told me that I lost the baby, but by some mirracle I didn't she stayed strong but because of my drinking she got sick. she didn't have Fetal alcohol syndrome. But she has a pretty weak immune system. If their was enough hours in the day I would work a 4th job to make more money but i can't. I dont want my little girl to be sick though its not fair to her to live life sick, because im not a good enough mother.
I really hate to ask but would you be able to send me one of those cheques you were sending me. so maybe I can just work 2 jobs and focus on getting my little girl better. Last night she was emitted into the hospital and she had to stay over night. I couldn't sleep, so im writing you this. My little girl is all I have left out of life, I want to do right by her im trying my best. But i guess my best just isn't good enough.
Sincerly
Keria
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kevin had tears in his eyes after reading that letter he felt to hopeless. He was scared that he had turned into a monster that Keria referred him too. He couldn't believe that he tore that little family apart. Now it was for nothing really he saw how Nick and Isabelle were fighting she still couldn't get pregnant. They were both miserable and cheating on each other. Guess happiness was something that didn't come easy anymore.
Thats when he got on a plane told his wife that he had been fighting with constantly that their was something he needed to do and to trust him because he loves her and only her. She was hesitant but said I love you too.
Keria was holding the baby on her hip, when she opened the door and was greeted by kevin. she almost dropped baby maddison.
"Kevin what are you doing here?" keria asked and she went and put maddie in her playpen while her and kevin had some hot chocolate.
Kevin walked over to her put his hot chocolate down and the tears just started to fall " Keria, I am so sorry! i dont know what came over me. Its my fault shes sick. Im horrible im keeping her from her father."
Keria rubbed his back and told him to sit down " Look, Your not horrible you just did what you thought was right. I came to the conlusion that you are. Everything happpens for a reason Kevin im sure of it not to sure why. But Nick doesn't need to know, it would just make matters worse with him and his wife i read all about them fighting in tabloids and its horrible."
I haven't been able to be with anyone since Nick, We just had a connection and I haven't been able to get it out of my head. it was definitely a one night stand gone wrong, but I wouldn't change my beautiful daughter for anyone. I have lots of help. I will pay you back every cent, but I can’t right now just the other day I picked Maddie up from the babysitters and she cried and cried when she had to leave. Im just a stranger to her now and I can’t feel like that. Don’t worry about Nick knowing he will never know from me all i ask is just until she gets better and I can get a better job, or a career. If you can just pay the medical bills thats all I ask. Kevin did more that he always asked to see pictures of her. Kevin was the uncle maddie never had, he acted just like one. sending keria cards and money for every occasion he sent keria flowers on mothers day the card read from maddie, but it was kevin. He was always their for him. The Guilt started to lessen more and more. Then one day he got an email that read.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hey Kevin,
I know we shook on it and said nick would never know. Im sorry but I have to tell him its not fair to Maddie and him. If someone did that to me I would be so devastated I wouldn't talk to them again. Im sorry but it breaks my heart everytime she asks why she doesn't have a daddy and she wants to see him. She always sees little girls and their dads. Shes really smart shes 3 and in preeschool. I need to tell them. I was able to get a job working at a news paper, well tabloid magazine but it pays better and maybe it will lead to me nick.
Im sorry kevin lots of love!
~*keria!
Author's Chapter Notes:
hey guys this chapter took a really long time to write, I hope you like it. please if you reading reply! cause my feedback is getting a little short here!
Thanks~
~*Manda*
Thanks~
~*Manda*
