The breeze blew salty seawater through the air, and the crash of waves was a steady thundering beat. The stretch of beach was quiet in the pre-dawn light, and the cry of gulls would not be heard until the sun rose. Though it was early November, the air was warm—warmer than the water would be, in any case.
He missed the Keys, and the sunrises over the ocean that he would often wake up early to watch from his boat. The sun, the big, flaming ball of it, would peek out from the edge of the world, and then, as though it had decided that it liked what it saw, it would unleash its golden rays upon the ocean, the gulls that flocked over it, and Nick on his boat. Enjoying his solitude. Always his solitude.
That wasn’t true, he corrected himself. He liked his solitude, but he wasn’t lonely. He had his siblings, the Boys, Chris, Bean, and any number of other people that he was more than happy to spend time with. So why was he sitting on a deserted beach at dawn all alone?
Considering the alternative was to go home and ignore his engaged brother for as long as humanly possible, a quiet beach was loads better. Not that he didn’t love his brother because God knew he did. He just didn’t like the things Aaron had been doing lately and was more than happy to spend some good, quality Nick time away from the house. And, besides, he had wanted to see the sun rise. Granted, in southern California, well, the whole of the West coast, the sun rose over the land and not the ocean, but he still wanted to see it.
Brian had gotten him away from the overly inquisitive fan at the arcade and had dropped him off at home, promising Nick that they’d have lunch in a day or two. That was fine, Nick thought. He didn’t mind spending time with Brian because, whenever he was with the guys, he never felt as though they wanted something from him. Well, other than his voice. But that was fine because he was more than happy to use it.
Of course, that voice had gotten him millions of fans, and he usually didn’t complain. Why would he? Those fans were the source of his bread and butter, and, though it was a lowering thought to admit to himself, there wasn’t much else he knew how to do outside of the entertainment industry. He needed those fans if he wanted to survive—even if he didn’t always enjoy fan encounters. Which wasn’t to say that fan encounters were bad; he just dreaded the ones that were like the one the night before. Some fans needed to know everything about him, his life, his mind, hell, the size of his, well, his…you know. And those times were always awkward.
Either way, while he was sure Reid was a perfectly nice young woman, he wouldn’t mind much if he never saw her again. Not that she’d known that asking him about Aaron and Kari would piss him off or that wanting to know what his relationship was with Autumn Evans was sure to annoy him. He couldn’t blame her for not knowing.
“Not that I’ve figured out why that relationship would bother me,” he thought aloud as he tried to examine what it was, exactly, that bugged him about being linked to Autumn.
“I’ve heard talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity.”
Nick whipped his head around and found himself face to face with the current object of his annoyance and intrigue. “Jesus, you scared the shit out of me! Way to give me a heart attack!” he added, thumping one hand over his racing heartbeat.
Autumn grinned and climbed onto the rock that Nick was currently perched on. “What’s up, Carter?”
“Besides my heart?” Though it was returning to normal. “Nothing. What are you doing here?”
Autumn shrugged and turned her gaze towards the dark waters of the Pacific Ocean. “Eh. I couldn’t sleep, and the sound of the water here always soothes me. When I-” She broke off when she realized she’d been about to tell him about how she’d walked the beach nearly every morning during the last trimester of her pregnancy. As far as the world knew, Lily Evans didn’t exist, and Autumn was going to keep it that way. “What’s your excuse?” she amended quickly.
“Same as yours. Couldn’t sleep,” he muttered, turning to look at her. She wore sweats, not unlike the ones he was in, and her hair had been tossed up into a messy pile on her head. Nick ran his fingers through his own hair, sure that it was just as much of a mess as hers. Then, wondering why he was worrying about hair fashion when no one was going to see them at this time, he focused in on her again. “Listen, I wanted to apologize,” he began, but she shook her head.
“Don’t worry about it. The media was just doing its job, Nick. Personally, I thought it was funny. Didn’t you?” she asked, watching his jaw set. Uh-oh. Maybe it’s not that funny.
He was silent for a few moments before speaking again. “I guess I just didn’t like seeing you called a whore. I’m surprised you were okay with that.”
“It’s the tabloids, Nick. I’ve been reading them in line at the grocery store since I was old enough to read. They always report anything from malicious to funny—so long as it’s juicy.” Autumn tried to understand why he was taking it so hard. “Did it bother you that they called your other girlfriends or hook-ups whores?”
He shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter. The thing is” he aimed those laser-blue eyes on her face now “you’re just getting started in this town. I don’t want you to be labeled as something you’re not. Something that could follow you for the rest of your career—if you’ll even have one. Hollywood works in crazed ways, Autumn. You might not do anything wrong, and it’ll still spit you out.” He sighed. “I guess I just want to see you succeed because I like you and your talent.”
It was Autumn’s turn to be silent. She wondered what to say to a statement like that. She’d never thought about it that way, and, now that he’d described the scenario, she was a bit nervous. But not too much.
“Don’t you think that’s a little melodramatic, Nick?” she asked finally.
“Uhh. No? It’s the truth. Look.” He took her hands in his. “When the reality show was getting started, I said a lot of stupid things in those magazines about people I’d hooked up with in the past. I got a lot of flack from that, and people weren’t exactly happy about it. Now that you’re in the picture, they’ll find some way to take you down, too.”
“So what?”
He stared at her. “What?”
“I said, so what?” Autumn repeated with a small smile. “Let them talk all they want and say all they want. As long as I have my talent, there’ll still be a place for me in this town. Relax, Nick. If this is what’s got you sitting on a beach at the crack of dawn, you can go home and rest easy. I’ll be fine.”
She had to have nerves of steel, Nick decided. He admired that ‘the hell with ‘em’ attitude she had and thought maybe it was time to take lessons. He’d spent too much of his life caring what other people thought of him on everything from his hair to his weight to his voice or the women he had relationships with. Autumn’s attitude was refreshing, and he wanted to follow that lead.
“Okay, then.” He let go of her hands but still watched her. “I’ll rest easy now that I know you have no problem with it. But you still didn’t really tell me why you’re here. So…spill. What’s bothering you?”
She raised a brow. “Why are you sure that there’s something bothering me?”
“Because you’re sitting on a dark beach at the crack of dawn, and only people who have worries do that. Trust me.” He flashed a smile. “I know all about that.”
Autumn rolled her eyes. “Really? I hadn’t noticed.” She poked him. “You’re a riot, Carter. Wherever did you get that awful sense of humor from?”
“Same place you got the sucky evasion skills from,” he replied and watched her brows wing up.
“You’re quick.”
“Thanks. You ought to know that I’m not letting you go until you tell me what’s up with you? I’m nosy,” he added, seeing her open her mouth to retort. “I won’t go away until I know. I’m like those desperate housewife chicks on television.” He grinned again. “Come on, Autumn. You know you want to tell me.”
Actually, she didn’t know that, and, as she sat there debating whether or not she should tell him, she had to give him props for the persistence. At six in the morning, most people would’ve shrugged it off and wandered home to hop into bed. Not Nick Carter. And so she found herself wondering if she could, or should, tell him about Jack.
“It’s about a friend,” she began. “Okay, fine. It’s about my boyfriend.” She narrowed her eyes at the skeptical look on his face. “You just have to know everything, don’t you?”
“You’ve got a guy?” Nick was surprised. “Does the world know about this because they’ll get off our backs if they know you’re already with someone.”
Autumn shook her head. “I didn’t tell anyone, and neither will you,” she added threateningly. “Besides, Jack’s only home four months out of the year.”
“Oh. That’s gotta suck,” Nick tried to sympathize. “What does he do?”
“He’s an archaeologist and spends most of his time in Ethiopia. Africa,” she clarified at the blank look on Nick’s face.
“Hey! I know where Ethiopia is,” he insisted. “So, he’s an archaeologist, he’s gone for the majority of the year. Does the fact that he leaves all the time bother you?”
She sighed. “I know it’s not fair to expect him to leave his work for me, but I really do wish he was home more often. He came home yesterday, and I know he already knows when he’s going back. It hurts to have him leave me all the time,” she whispered.
“Do you love him?” Nick found he wanted to know for reasons unfathomable to him. He chalked it up to plain curiosity and continued to study her.
She was quiet for a few moments. When she finally looked up at him, her eyes were brimming with unshed tears. “I love him, and it breaks my heart every time he walks out the door.” She brushed at a tear that slid down her face. “It’s stupid, but I can’t stop it.”
Nick put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. “Don’t cry, babe. A face as pretty as yours shouldn’t be so sad.” He hugged her lightly, and she buried her face in his shoulder. “Have you told him how you feel?”
“Fee waweady whoas.”
His brows furrowed. “Say that again?”
Autumn leaned back, swiping at the tears on her cheeks. “He already knows,” she repeated. “He knows that it hurts, but he still leaves. I know it’s his work, but damn it! What about me? What about how I feel or need? All he sees is his work and his books and his damn bones! I wish he’d stay with a flesh and blood woman instead digging one out of the ground!”
He was definitely surprised now at the way she switched from upset to pissed off. The look in her eyes was enough to have him scooting away a little nervously. “Hey, hey. It’s going to be fine. I could go beat him for you if you want,” he offered cautiously.
“That’d be great!” Autumn laughed a little, her temper evaporating as quickly as it had appeared. “I spent all night thinking about it, and I couldn’t sleep. It worries me a little that I’ve stopped missing him when he’s gone, but, the instant he comes back, it hits me again. No one knows about Jack except for my closest friends, and I like it that way. If the interviewers asked me about him all the time, I’d just miss him more, you know? So it was just easier to pretend he didn’t exist than moping around because he was gone.”
“And now he’s back.”
She nodded. “Now he’s back, and, honestly, I don’t know how much longer I can keep playing tug-of-war with my emotions.”
“If you love him, then you should stick with him,” Nick told her. “I mean, Brian and Leighanne, Kevin and Kristin, they spent months without seeing each other, and look at them now. They’re married and happy. If you want it badly enough, you can hold onto it. But, if you doubt your relationship, then something’s not the way it should be. Right?”
Autumn considered for a moment. “Maybe. Since when did you become the relationship expert?” she wondered with a smile.
“I’ve been through enough shit with relationships that I know what works and what doesn’t. I’ve only ever loved one woman truly, but that was more puppy love than anything else,” he added, thinking of Mandy. “If I ever found someone that I was in love with the way you are with Jack, I wouldn’t let them go. I’d find a way to figure it out.” He squeezed her hand. “Don’t do anything rash because this guy must have some good qualities if you love him.”
“Yeah, he does. I guess I’ll have to think about it.” She sighed before looking over her shoulder. “Hey, the sun’s coming up.”
Nick turned around and saw the gilded light peaking over the horizon, beyond the commercial buildings, billboards, homes, and high rises. He held his breath and, when the sun finally, finally shone brightly over them, he let it out.
“That was pretty,” Autumn said quietly, as she slowly began to hear the sounds of a city coming to life.
“Yeah. Yeah, it was.” But neither of them moved.
As the city bustled into life for the new day, they sat peacefully and breathed in the salty air.
And her hand was still in his.
Author's Chapter Notes:
This one is literally hot of the presses. I JUST finished it, and it's completely unedited. I hope it's good! And happy Friday!
