“I still can’t believe this day is actually here, but I’m so proud of my little brother. Who knew he’d ever settle down with someone as beautiful inside and out as Autumn? And Nick, a father? I couldn’t be more thrilled for the three of them. Truly, they make a beautiful family, and I wish them a lifetime of happiness and love.” A tear slid down his cheek, but Kevin continued on, his voice choking up a bit. “Nick, I’ve watched you grow up in the last fourteen years, and this, this, buddy, is your crowning moment. Autumn, I’m trusting you to take care of him the way I know he’ll take great care of you and Lily. Here’s to love, happiness, and a lifetime of sharing each other’s joys, fears, successes, and failures. Congratulations!”
The cheering broke out as the clinking of champagne flutes rang out through the room. Nick and Autumn lifted their glasses, toasted each other, and smiled so widely that Nick knew his cheeks were about to fall off.
An elbow nudged him in the side, and the smile faltered for a moment. He leaned towards Autumn in what, he hoped, would be seen as him whispering sweet nothings in her ear. In reality, he hissed, “Are you trying to crack a fucking rib?”
Her smile turned even more sugary sweet than it already was as she brushed her lips over his cheek, disguising the words she hissed back. “Dim down that smile, darling. It looks like you’re trying too hard. I think Brian’s getting suspicious.”
That shot his head up fast before he remembered himself. “What? What do you mean? How can you tell?”
“He’s watched us this whole time, and I get the sense that he’s not a hundred percent sold on-”
Autumn’s words were cut off as Brian interrupted them. “I just thought I’d take this opportunity to congratulate the two of you again!” His smile was genuinely pleased for them as he slapped Nick’s shoulder good-naturedly before turning to kiss Autumn’s cheek. “I wish you’d brought Lily, too,” he told Autumn. “I know most of us are dying to meet the kid that’s got Nick wrapped around her finger.”
“I can imagine,” Autumn murmured, the smile still in place. “Thank you for not spilling the secret before we were ready for it.”
Brian glanced at Nick, realizing that Nick must have told her that he’d figured out that their haphazard wedding had stalled Nick’s arrival in Nashville three months ago. Then again, they were married, so of course Nick would have told her. Right?
“No problem,” Brian replied after a moment. “I know what it’s like to want your privacy. The way the two of you are going, though, it’s going to be hard to keep that precious commodity.”
“No kidding.” Nick patted Brian’s shoulder. “Thanks, again, man.”
“Nick.” Kristin, glowingly rounded at seven months pregnant, made her way around the milling guests to where Autumn and Nick stood. “I haven’t been able to get through all these people to see the two of you yet.”
Nick had to admit he felt a little nervous around pregnant women, but he gingerly returned Kristin’s hug, trying to avoid touching her belly. “Thanks, Kris. Shouldn’t you be sitting, though?”
Autumn and Brian exchanged amused glances as Kristin placed a hand on her belly. It was painfully obvious to all three of them that Nick was tense, and it was definitely funny.
“I’m fine, Nick.” Kristin patted his hand. “Besides, ask Autumn, it’s not so bad. I’m sure by the time I hit the nine month mark, it’ll be far worse.” She looked over his shoulder for something. “I just have to make sure Kev doesn’t see me. He doesn’t think I should move ever, even though the doctor said it’s better if I exercise. Helps with the labor process, you know.”
“Huh. I didn’t know that, actually.” Nick could feel the color drain from his face. Talk of labor made him just this side of squeamish.
Kevin saved him from hearing anymore about childbirth when he, Howie, and AJ joined the group. The instant he saw his wife standing by Nick’s side, Kevin’s smile vanished. “Kris, why aren’t you sitting? You shouldn’t be on your feet this long.” He turned on Nick. “Honestly Nick. Couldn’t you take care of her?”
“But I-Hey! Brian was here, too!” Nick sputtered before latching onto Brian as an excuse. “And, besides, this is my wedding reception. I should be the one being treated specially.”
Autumn couldn’t quite control the chuckle when Kevin’s brows furrowed. “You really think your wedding is more important than my wife and child?” Kevin near bellowed.
“Uh, no.” Nick could sense he’d taken a wrong turn somewhere but decided to just concede the point. He really didn’t need Kevin mad at him over Kristin, so he held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, sorry. Really. Here, I’ll have her sit now.” He guided Kristin into his chair as she grinned, bemused at the whole spectacle. The grin widened when Nick lifted her slightly swollen feet onto another chair at the table. “There. Better?”
“Much. Thanks, Nick.” Kristin squeezed his hand before shooting a glare at her husband. “See, all better. Honestly, Kevin. Leave the poor kid alone. He’s supposed to be enjoying his wedding reception, not being roasted over a fire by you. Nick,” she smiled at him, “you and Autumn should go mingle with your guests. There’s three hundred of them. I bet they’re all dying to hear about how happy the two of you are.”
“Oh, yeah. I bet.” Nick nodded, then turned to Autumn and held out his arm. “Shall we, wifey?”
Autumn folded her arms. “Not if you call me ‘wifey’.”
Nick made a pitiful puppy face. “Sweetie, darling, baby? Let’s go mingle.”
She rolled her eyes and slid an arm through his, a loving smile gracing her face. “You’re so lucky I love you so much.”
“I know. Believe me, I know.” He brushed his lips over her nose, for the benefit of the others still with them. “I love you, too.”
As they moved away from the group, they heard AJ’s voice. “Man, the two of them are disgustingly cute, aren’t they? I swear, eight months ago, he was all ‘I don’t need a girlfriend, right now. I’m not ready for one.’ And BAM! He’s married now. What a guy.”
Brian’s response came more quietly. “When it’s right, it’s right. Sometimes, it’s right in front of your face, and you don’t know it.”
Autumn tugged Nick’s arm. “I’m telling you, he knows something.”
“Nah. I don’t think so.” Nick paused for a moment as they both thanked and hugged some of Autumn’s former co-stars and producers. “He’s the one who told me that you were perfect for me. Not once, but twice. He couldn’t possibly be suspicious.”
She just made a hmm-ing noise, and Nick knew she was still suspicious that Brian was suspicious, even though there was no way the man could possibly know what was really up. Besides, he just hadn’t given off the “I know what you’ve done” vibes. He’d been happy for them, and, even Leighanne had bubbled over about how exciting it was that there would finally be another child on tour and how glad she was that Nick had finally found the right woman for himself. If Brian had been suspicious, wouldn’t he have told Leighanne, thereby resulting in her behavior being suspicious, too? Based on such logic, he didn’t believe Autumn was right. And, was it just him, or were they getting good at this whole married couple thing where they talked about such minor things?
“Guess we’re really into these roles,” he murmured to himself before embracing another well-wisher.
They met up with the rest of the Carter clan a little while later. Jane hadn’t been able to make it because, as Leslie tiredly explained, she had decided to try rehab. Again. However, Bob, the twins, BJ, and Leslie had all shown up to celebrate the newlyweds—who were, Nick thought wryly, not so newly wed anymore.
Autumn knew who his siblings were already. The week after they’d moved in together, she’d insisted that it wouldn’t be right if she waited to meet his family. The Carters would probably be hurt if Nick didn’t introduce them before the reception, and, besides, she’d argued, it was already weird enough that she’d never had to undergo the Angel Carter test. Nick had shaken his head and told her to quit surfing the message boards. But he’d given into her plans.
Angel, Aaron, BJ, and Leslie had been invited over for dinner along with Chris and Bean—the friends that Autumn figured she should get to know since they were good friends of his. Nick had been nervous for all of them to meet his new family, and he’d kept Lily by his side the whole night, terrified that she’d learn how to play poker or drink too much alcohol by the end of the night. Then again, knowing his sisters, Lily would probably learn to cook, model, and text on a Sidekick at the same time. With his friends and family, you learned to expect the unexpected.
He’d forgotten to apply the same rules to his new wife and child.
By the end of the night, his sisters and Autumn gabbed away like they were old friends, while Aaron, Bean, and Chris turned into mushy piles of love as Lily charmed them. ‘Course, she learned a few new choice expletives by the end of the night, too, but Nick figured it was like collateral damage. Or something.
After everyone had left, Autumn had told him that she’d thoroughly enjoyed herself. His siblings weren’t quite the zoo she’d witnessed on television, but they were still quite colorful. As for his friends…
“Chris is great. I think you made a great decision by having him as a friend. You can definitely live without Bean, though.”
Nick didn’t bother arguing with her about it as he pretty much felt the same. But Bean was like a bad habit, and he just didn’t want to put the effort into breaking it. Not when there were a dozen more important things he had to take care of in his life. Like introducing his wife to his father.
“Dad, this is Autumn. My wife.” Nick gestured from his father to Autumn and back. “Autumn, this is my dad.”
Autumn smiled and held out a hand. “It’s great to finally meet you, Mr. Carter.”
Bob returned her smile. “Oh, now, call me Bob. Mr. Carter makes me feel like I’m eighty or something.” He pulled her into a hug. “It’s nice to meet the woman who’s finally going to settle my Nickolas down. Turn him into a family man. I hear I have a grandchild?”
“Yeah, Dad.” Nick grinned a little just thinking of Lily. “You’ll love her. She’s perfect. As gorgeous as her mom, but, if it’s possible, she’s got twice the charm. No offense, Autumn.”
She merely squeezed his hand affectionately. “None taken. She’s great. We’ll have to introduce you soon.”
As his sisters took turns hugging Autumn, Nick beamed at the sight, acting every bit the new husband he was trying to be. Apparently, if he had his family fooled then things were going better than expected. They knew him too well and could push their way through his bullshit. This time, apparently, they’d taken the bait, and he breathed a small sigh of relief.
Angel’s voice broke through his thoughts. “God, Autumn. I swear, you always look absolutely fabulous every time I see you, whether it’s on TV, at your house, wherever. Look at you now!”
“Well, actually,” Autumn began, tossing a glance over her shoulder at Nick, “I didn’t pick out what I’m wearing tonight. Nick did.”
The girls exploded into a frenzy, Nick thought. BJ smacked his arm playfully. “Big brother, who knew you had it in you?” She gestured to Autumn, who wore a strapless, royal blue dress that fell just below her knees and was embroidered with pearl white flowers on the waist and hem. “I mean, honestly, Nick. You dress yourself in such fugly outfits, I’m surprised you managed to pull this one off.”
“What can I say? I have many hidden talents,” Nick joked, though his hand found Autumn’s and laced their fingers together.
“Well, maybe you can send those talents my way,” Aaron said playfully. “I mean, I could definitely use those to get me some-”
“Aaron.”
“Right. Sorry, Autumn,” he apologized. “Anyway, I bet Nick didn’t pick out the shoes or jewelry, right? He doesn’t have the eye for that sort of stuff.”
Autumn grinned. “Actually, he does. Like I said, Nick put this whole thing together.” She remembered the bet they’d made when she’d declared that he could never dress anyone, not even himself, stylishly. Clearly, she’d lost, but the five hundred dollars she’d forked over to him was well worth it, she thought. She had to admit she looked like a million bucks. “He even dressed himself for tonight, too. Plus, he’s bought Lily a whole new wardrobe, and it’s the cutest thing ever!”
As the chorus of “aww” was heard, Nick fought off the blush. So, yeah, he’d put the whole outfit together, and it looked great. That didn’t require this much attention, did it? He’d just walked into one of those boutiques on Rodeo Drive, seen the dress, and immediately knew it would be perfect on Autumn. It hadn’t been his fault that the fancy jewelry place had showcased a set of pearls that would look perfect with the dress. And that shoe place had been having a sale anyway, so he’d walked out with the shoes, too. It didn’t take a genius to design something like that.
But when he looked over at Autumn, who was moving off to mingle with his sisters and other guests, he had to admit, she did look great. But then, she always looked great. Every morning that she walked into the kitchen on a search for coffee, she looked perfect. They’d gotten drunk together one night for the hell of it, and, the next day, she hadn’t suffered from a single bit of pain. She’d glowed, for crying out loud. Of course, he’d felt like shit, but that wasn’t anything new.
Autumn and Nick were getting along better than Nick could have ever expected. They lived in the same house, shared meals, cared for Lily together, and talked about their days with each other. Just like they were a normal family. Some days, Nick had to remind himself that it wasn’t real. They were just an illusion for the world, and, one day, it would all end.
There were times, though, when he would walk past the nursery and watch Autumn sing Lily to sleep. She’d know when he was there and would look over at him and smile. In those precious moments, Nick wished, with all his heart, that the illusion could be reality.
As was expected of them, it was soon time for the bride and groom’s first dance. Or what would pass as their first dance, though they’d already been married for months and must have danced together by now. Or so every guest thought—except for those in the know. Autumn had begged Liz to pick a song for them as neither she nor Nick had any idea what to do. True, there were dozens of songs, but, knowing Nick, he probably would’ve picked a Bryan Adams song. Autumn wanted something different.
The first notes strummed through the speakers as Nick and Autumn took to the center of the dance floor, hundreds of people watching. He slid his arms around her and pulled her close. Autumn rested her hand on his heart, and they shared a mutual smile of encouragement as they began to sway.
Oh, no, you can’t know
How much I think about you
It’s making my head spin
Their steps matched perfectly. It felt as though they had danced together for years, and Nick had to shake his head at the oddity of the feeling. It was just luck that, for the first time in a while, he hadn’t stepped on his partner’s feet. He was sure Autumn was grateful for that.
And you are looking at me
And we both know what we want
So close to giving in
He didn’t particularly enjoy the scrutiny of all the people watching them. He’d always had a slight case of stage fright, despite all the shows he’d ever performed. To escape the eyes trained on them, he looked down and into Autumn’s eyes. Green met blue. And locked.
Oh yeah, you feel so nice
Wish I could stay the night
But I can’t pay the price
The singer’s voice was ethereal, Autumn thought. It reminded her of magical forests on a midsummer night. Ones in which faeries danced. Her mind was full of fanciful images, and that’s why she felt the shimmer of feeling pulse through her when Nick’s eyes met hers. That’s why her heart was beginning to pound in anticipation. Of what, though, she wasn’t at all certain.
High off the ground
When you’re around
And time can feel your high
Rocking me inside
It’s too much to hide
There were gray flecks within the deep green of her eyes, and, when the light from the chandeliers touched her eyes just so, they mesmerized him. He couldn’t prevent his hand from lifting to her cheek. Even as he wondered what he was doing, his fingers skimmed over soft skin and lightly brushed an errant curl aside.
I know
That we can’t be together
But I just like to dream
Not real, not real, he kept telling himself. No matter how much he reminded himself that they weren’t really husband and wife, that they really weren’t in love, the moment, the music, the atmosphere half convinced him otherwise.
“Autumn.”
The way our paths have crossed
How we were brought together
It’s written in the stars it seems
His voice was soft, and the look in his eyes staggered her. If he hadn’t been holding her close, she was sure she would have melted into a puddle on the floor. It had to be momentary insanity, she thought, to see such emotions in his eyes. To feel twin emotions bubble within her.
Where did you take me to?
I know there’s no such thing
This painless love
Well, it’ll catch us up
And we can never win
But oh, I feel so at home
Just wanna hold you, hold you
So tight
“Just an illusion.”
Nick knew they couldn’t fool themselves into thinking there was more between them than there really was. They couldn’t let themselves believe what everyone else believed. Their marriage wasn’t real, and they both knew it. It didn’t matter that he’d felt something when he’d held her, breathed her in, and he knew she’d felt it, too. Her eyes were her most expressive feature, and they hadn’t been able to hide anything.
But they couldn’t be like that. They couldn’t be more than just Nick and just Autumn. Just an illusion.
High off the ground
When you’re around
And time can feel your high
Rocking me inside
It’s too much to hide
Lyrics from “Flying High” by Jem
