“No, no. Not that one. Look at this one.” Autumn brushed aside various proofs and reached for the one she wanted. “Here. This one’s better than the other one.” She passed it to Nick.
Nick stared at the photograph he held. They were going through the proofs of all the pictures taken for their photo interview. It was up to them to choose which ones they wanted to put into the magazine spread. Studying the picture Autumn had given him for a few moments, he glanced from it to the other one he held before he finally nodded. “You’re right. This one’s better. Look how cute Lily looks.” He grinned at the image. The grin widened when Lily ran squealing into the room, chased by Layla.
“Nick!” Lily shrieked as Layla butted her nose into Lily’s legs and propelled her forward to clutch at Nick’s leg. “Help!”
Nick and Autumn shared the amused glance that all parents share when their child has done something particularly adorable or perfect. By Nick’s vague calculations, they’d been sharing those special looks for weeks. It was easier and easier to pretend they were a real family—the kind he’d always wanted to be a part of when he was little. He’d always been a little bit jealous of Brian for having the picture-perfect family, and, now, he had his own. Knowing that it would inevitably end didn’t deter him from letting himself pretend in his own head that he, Autumn, and Lily were a happy family.
The fact that he and Autumn didn’t speak of whatever had happened at the wedding or whatever they’d each felt was just extraneous. Voicing such concerns were sure, Nick knew, to ruin his perfect moments.
The picture Autumn had handed him was one such example of the perfect moment captured forever on paper.
“Nick?”
Distracted from his thoughts, he blinked and looked up to meet her questioning expression. “Sorry. What?”
“Are you still with us? Where’d you go off to in your head?” She tugged Lily away from Nick and set her daughter on the rug with toys that Layla eagerly carried over from the toy chest.
“I’m here. Just thinking about…stuff,” he replied. He wanted to ask her if she ever felt the warmth, the sense of right that he felt when it was just the three of them. Well, four, if you counted Layla, and he did. Even as he opened his mouth to speak the words, the doorbell rang.
Autumn sprang up from the couch. “I wonder who that is? I’ll get it,” she added and headed for the front door.
Nick turned from watching her leave and met Lily’s curious gaze. When he held out his arms, she dropped the stuffed bear she held and leapt into his hold. Nick squeezed her gently and let his heart sigh when his tiny princess pressed her lips to his cheek. “I want to hold on to you forever, Lilykins. I just have to figure out what’s up with me and your mom first. I just don’t know how to ask her. I mean, how do you ask a woman if she-”
“Aww, look at that! Isn’t that just the cutest thing you’ve ever seen, Autumn?” Brian’s voice interrupted Nick’s discussion with his stepdaughter. When his head whipped around to the doorway, he found Brian and Baylee grinning at him while Autumn hovered just behind them. She shrugged and managed a puzzled smile when Nick shot her a questioning look.
He stood and, shifting Lily to his hip, he stepped over Layla and scattered toys to greet Brian by way of a semi-hug. “I like to think everything I do is the cutest thing she’s ever seen,” Nick joked. “So were we expecting you? Did I forget something? Hell, I gotta admit, I didn’t know you were in LA right now.”
“No problem. And, no, we just decided to drop in and see Uncle Nick and his family. Right, Bay?”
“Yup!” Baylee smiled up at Lily as she cocked her head and studied him quizzically. “Is that your baby, Nick?”
Nick grinned down at Lily as his eyes met Autumn’s smiling ones. “Yes, she is. What do you think?” He knelt so that Lily and Baylee were at eye level.
Baylee reached out a hand to touch Lily’s cheek. When he ran a finger over cheek, she giggled and pressed a hand to his cheek, too. “She’s adoor-bell!” Baylee claimed enthusiastically.
Brian grinned. “That she is. It’s nice to finally meet her in person. May I?” he asked and held out his arms to Lily.
“Well, it’s up to her. She’s a pretty picky kid,” Autumn teased. “You might not be good enough for my princess.”
Lily stared at Brian for long moments before she slid forward and out of Nick’s arms. Baylee clapped his hands. “She likes you, Daddy!”
“I think she does, buddy.” Brian tapped Lily’s nose, making her gurgle with laughter. “Hi there, Lily. I’m Brian.”
“And I’m Baylee!” Baylee added excitedly.
“Baaaay Leeee!” Lily enunciated and grinned at her accomplishment. Then, she ran her fingers over Brian’s face and announced, “Pretty!”
Brian chuckled before looking past Lily to Autumn. “She’s got good taste.”
“Yes, she does,” Autumn agreed, smiling. “Why don’t we sit, and you can get acquainted with her. Would you like anything? Coffee, water? Baylee, would you like juice?”
Brian placed a hand on Baylee’s shoulder. “We just had lunch, and Mommy wouldn’t be too happy if you wrecked your appetite before dinner. Right, Bay?”
Baylee, who’d perked up at Autumn’s offerings, nodded solemnly. “Yes, Daddy.” Then, after a pause, he asked, “Can I play with Lily, now? You can talk to Nick, and I can play with her. That was our deal.”
“Sure, pal.” Brian set Lily down, and the two children immediately wandered over to play with Layla and Lily’s toys. He smiled at the cheerful sight of the two of them before he turned back to Nick and Autumn. “You two are very lucky. Let me congratulate you, Autumn, on such a terrific child.”
“Thank you.” Autumn beamed. “Fortunately, I don’t have to be alone in raising her to be even better. I’ve got Nick now.” She laced her fingers through Nick’s and smiled at him.
“I should say I’m lucky enough to have both of you,” Nick corrected her and wished he could make her see that he meant that. That, with them around and the responsibility of a family, he didn’t really feel the urge to party until he was sick and destructive. He had a sneaking suspicion that they were making him into a better man, and he didn’t think that was a bad thing.
The longer his eyes stayed locked on hers, the more he wondered what it was he was thinking. They might have been married, and he might have been attracted to her enough to try to form some sort of real relationship with her. Unfortunately, none of that really made any difference because he knew she probably wouldn’t and didn’t feel the attraction he felt. So he should probably just leave it alone.
Should.
When they finally broke eye contact and turned to Brian, they found him watching them with what appeared to be suspicion in his eyes. The same old Brian smile was on his face, but there were dozens of questions in his eyes. Nick had a sinking suspicion Autumn had been right. Maybe Brian didn’t completely buy their marriage, and maybe, just maybe, he could tell that all was not what it seemed to be.
Shit.
“You three really do make a great family.” Brian blinked and the expression in his eyes changed and was friendly once more. “Tell me again, because I totally forget, how did the two of you know that you were it for each other? I mean, you’d only been dating for a couple months, right?”
This time, when Nick squeezed Autumn’s hand, he meant for it to be reassuring. “I told you about that morning on the beach, Brian, remember? We’d both had a bad night and somehow ended up walking it off on the same beach. There was something about that moment, for me, that was just right. That’s when I knew. Right, baby?” He brushed his lips over Autumn’s temple, inhaling the fragrant scent of her hair.
She nodded, and Nick could practically see her eyes take on that daydreaming quality. No wonder she won awards for her acting. She deserved every, last one. When she spoke about knowing Jack wasn’t the one for her and how Nick had comforted her, he could see the softening effect her words and her tone were obviously having on Brian.
“That is really beautiful,” Brian commented when she’d finished. “It’s been quite the interesting year for the two of you, huh?”
“Exciting wouldn’t begin to cover it,” Autumn replied wryly. “I don’t think I’d change a single second, though. Except for my sister, of course.”
Brian waved it off. “Of course. But, hopefully, that’s all a thing of the past.” He paused to look over at Baylee and Lily who continued to play happily and missed the flicker of expression on Autumn’s face. When he turned his attention to Nick and Autumn again, Nick saw the suspicion was still there. “I just think it’s pretty remarkable that Nick, here, married a woman he’d known for a few months, one no one else really knew he was dating, when he’d never even thought of marriage in the two years he was with Mandy. It’s a little weird, you gotta admit, Nick.”
“Uh, it was a different time in my life,” Nick assured him. “I was barely twenty, and nowhere near mature enough to do it. Now, though, it was perfect.”
Brian didn’t seem entirely appeased by the answer but the ringing of the phone cut off his next question. Autumn smiled apologetically. “Sorry, that’s me.” Finding her cell under the pile of photographs, she disappeared into another room with an encouraging look for Nick.
Squaring his shoulders and braced for the next part of Brian’s interrogation, Nick turned back to Brian. “Dude, what’s up with all the questions? I mean, I thought you were happy that I was happy.”
“Are you, Nick? Are you really happy?” Brian eyed him carefully. “I mean, I’m not at all sure that Autumn is the right one for you.”
Nick didn’t know where it came from, but there was rage boiling under his skin at the statement. “Excuse me?! Weren’t you the one that told me she was the perfect one for me? I remember taking you ring shopping, too, and you were all happy for me. Where the hell do you get off telling me that my wife is wrong for me?”
“Daddy, Nick said the H-E-double hockey sticks word,” Baylee announced from across the room.
Brian spared him a glance. “I know, Bay. Why don’t you just play with Lily and leave the adult conversation alone for now? Okay?”
“’Kay.” And he went back to his new friend.
Before Brian could respond to Nick’s outburst, Autumn was back. “Nick, I have to go.”
“Go?” And leave him to what felt like the wolves?
She nodded. “Yeah. I have to sign the contracts for a couple photoshoots in New York. Remember I told you about how I have to go out there next week?”
“Sure, yeah.” He toyed with the ends of her hair absently. “So how long are you going to be gone?”
She frowned. “For three days. You know that.”
“Now? You have to go for three days, right now?”
“Oh. Oh.” She rolled her eyes and playfully swatted his hand away. “No, silly. Liz just wants me to meet her at the office and sign them. It shouldn’t take too long. A couple hours tops. Besides, I promised to make you and Lily that fabulous dinner. Can’t miss that.”
“Nope. Especially because it’s your turn to cook tonight.” He nudged her towards the door. “You should go. Sooner you go, sooner you’re back.”
“Yeah.” Autumn peeked around Nick to smile apologetically at Brian. “Sorry, Brian. I gotta head out, but it was great to see you and Baylee today.”
“Yeah. You should visit us sometimes, too. Leigh’s always talking about you.” Brian met her smile with one of his own. “It was great to see your daughter, too. Just as pretty as her mom.”
“Thanks.” Autumn looked up at Nick. “I should get going.”
He nodded. “Guess you should.” As she moved out of the room, an idea occurred to him. Not bothering to think it through, he reached out and caught Autumn’s arm, tugging her back to him. “Autumn. Wait.”
And, in full view of Brian, he framed her face gently with his hands and lowered his lips to hers in what was their first real kiss. Even as he hoped that the embrace would wipe all doubts from Brian’s mind, Nick’s mind went blissfully blank as the taste of Autumn flooded his system. Drowning in it, he didn’t notice the way she froze for an instant before responding. Her arms came up and locked around his neck even as her body pressed against his. Nick didn’t notice either motion so concentrated was he on that single meeting of lips.
They kissed, and he couldn’t imagine wanting to kiss another. They kissed, and he wondered where this feeling had been all his life. They kissed, and he wished he could spend his life in this one moment. Freeze frame, capture the moment, and stay in it forever.
He knew she was as shocked as he by the kiss. When he leaned back, her face still cupped in his hands, he could see the green of her eyes clouded with confusion, shock, and the same thrill that lingered within him.
Autumn pressed a hand to her spinning head and smiled, dazed, into Nick’s face. “What was that for?”
“I’ll miss you.”
“It’s only a couple hours, Nick, not weeks.”
He didn’t respond but just pressed his lips to her forehead then nudged her along. “You’re gonna be late.”
Still wondering where the top of her head and spun off to, she managed to make her way to the front door. When he heard it open and shut, Nick returned to his seat across from Brian’s. “Sorry about that. Sometimes, when she’s leaving, I just get this scared feeling that I’ll never see her again. Like it’s the last time I’ll see her walk out the door. I guess it’s knowing that I probably don’t deserve her that gets me thinking that.”
To his surprise, Brian shook his head. “You’re wrong. And so was I.” He sighed. “I don’t know what got into me, Nick, and I’m sorry. You and Autumn are really and truly in love, and it’s beautiful to see. I’m very happy for you, and I hope you can forgive me for being an,” he glanced over at Baylee before lowering his voice, “an asshole. Besides, you totally deserve her. Why wouldn’t you?”
Nick shrugged. “Just a feeling. And you’re forgiven.”
Baylee wandered over and tugged on Brian’s arm. “Daddy?”
“Yeah, kiddo?” Brian ruffled his son’s curls. “What’s up?”
“Can I have a little sister like Lily?”
The words startled Brian, and Nick had the pleasure of watching Brian’s mouth open and close several times before he was able to form a coherent response.
“Well, Baylee, I think we’ll have to have a conference with Mommy about that idea,” Brian finally managed. “You know something like that has to have Mommy’s input.”
Baylee nodded. “Okay. I’ll ask her when we get home.”
“Bay-” Brian began, but Baylee had already scampered off again. “Well, shoot. Leigh’s going to be thrilled to have to answer a thousand and one questions about why he can’t have a little sister. Let’s hope he doesn’t have a temper tantrum over it.”
Nick couldn’t quite suppress the grin. “Conference, huh?”
“Shut up.” Brian rolled his eyes but smiled anyway. “So, there was another reason why I stopped by today.”
“Yeah?”
Brian leaned forward, his arms resting on his knees, his eyes intent. “I just wanted to make sure that you’re cool with all the plans for the new album. I mean, you’ve been pretty busy with your family and the wedding excitement, and I wasn’t sure if you’d looked over all the stuff Johnny sent us about the video shoot, final song selections, and the upcoming tour.”
“Sure, yeah. I read it all over, and it sounds good to—Wait. What tour?” Nick sat up and frowned. “Maybe I didn’t get that far in the itinerary.”
Brian cleared his throat a little nervously. “Yeah, the tour. It’s the press tour. It starts in the beginning of June. We’ve got three weeks. I wondered if this tour was gonna be a problem for you or Autumn.”
“Why would it be a problem?” Now Nick was confused. How did his tour affect Autumn?”
“Because Autumn is supposed to tour with us?” Brian reminded him.
Nick’s eyebrows flew up. “No shit? I must have missed that memo.” And then he did remember. “Wait a minute. That’s the tour she was talking about! Autumn told me that her management cleared up a good chunk of time for her to tour with me. I had no idea what, exactly, she was talking about.” He sighed. “Now I do.”
“Are you okay with taking your family on the road?”
Nick ran his fingers through his hair absently as he wondered how it would be to have Lily and Autumn with him twenty-four/seven. They wouldn’t be able to keep separate rooms because there was no way to explain their way out of that. He hoped the couches in those rooms would be comfortable.
“We’ll be fine,” he assured Brian.
When his thoughts turned to the kiss, to all the thoughts that swirled through his head, he wasn’t entirely sure that his words were the truth. After all, any idea that he’d had that there was no chemistry between Autumn and him had been dispelled by that kiss. He’d seen the questions in Autumn’s eyes, too, and he wasn’t sure what they would do now. How they’d be around each other now, but, as he picked up a picture of Autumn wrapped around him, her lips brushing his jaw, he did know one thing.
They both had a lot of thinking to do about what was really happening between Nick Carter and Autumn Evans.
Author's Chapter Notes:
First off, I'm going to apologize for being so late on this update. I've been super busy so far this summer, and that's not going to change because I'm a camp counselor, so I don't have all that much time to write these days. That being said, to apologize for being so flakey, I'm giving you not one, but TWO new chapters! I hope you enjoy them, and thank you for being so loyal and understanding!
