There was a small headache brewing in the back of her head, and she decided to roll over and go back to sleep, not sure what it was that had woken her in the first place. When she went to snuggle back into the comforter, she froze.
There was an arm around her waist.
What the hell had happened last night? She couldn’t exactly remember all the details, but she did remember sitting at the hotel bar until Nick had found her…
Nick.
“Please, God. Please let this not be happening,” she whispered, even as she turned her head slightly and found herself looking into Nick’s sleeping face.
Pressing a hand against her mouth to hold back the scream, she carefully lifted the covers and glanced down. Yup, she wasn’t wearing a stitch of clothing. And, by the look and feel of things, neither was Nick.
Ohshitohshitohshitohshit.
When she wriggled a bit to get out of his hold, Nick’s arm just tightened around her waist and pulled her closer, his face buried in her hair. Carefully, so as to not wake him, she turned her head to look into his sleeping face. He seemed perfectly content, she thought, to sleep on while she had herself a major heart attack.
As she lay there curled against him, more details of the previous night came back to her. What on earth had she been thinking when she’d suggested strip Go Fish? For crying out loud, she thought, it was as though, in her drunken state, she’d wanted to sleep with Nick. Not that he’d protested at all. In fact, if she remembered right, he’d been the one to taunt her, daring her to prove that she didn’t like kissing him.
Clearly, he’d won.
When the buzzer sounded again, her eyes popped open. There was someone at the door. Swallowing hard, she curled her hand around Nick’s wrist and slowly lifted his arm off her waist. As fast as she could, she wiggled out from under it and yanked on a robe. It was then that she saw the clothing.
There was the underwear she’d worn the day before…right alongside Nick’s boxers on the floor. Great. The top she’d worn was tossed over a bedpost. She could only imagine the horrors that awaited her in the parlor.
Tightening the belt of the robe, she hurried into the parlor without looking back. Her brows flew up at the sight of several empty bottles of expensive alcohol along with scattered piles of playing cards lying haphazardly on the floor. Nick’s pants and shirt were heaped on the armchair, while her skirt lay half under the loveseat.
“Fuck,” she whispered, then, remembering the door, she stepped around the carnage of the obviously drunken night of debauchery and headed for the door.
Brian and Lily beamed at her when she opened the door. “Did we wake you up?” He grinned as she combed her hair back with her fingers.
“Ah, yeah. Sort of.” Before she could stop him, though, Brian had stepped into the suite, and Autumn was left with no choice but to follow him back.
She found him standing just inside the parlor, his brows raised at the mess in front of him. “Wow.” His grin was lightning quick. “You two certainly had an adventurous night, huh?” When Lily tried to wriggle out of his arms, he shook his head at her. “Not here, Lily. Let’s wait until everything’s cleaned up, okay?”
Lily scrunched up her face and looked over at Autumn. “Mama!” She held out her arms, and Autumn slid her out of Brian’s arms.
“Hi, baby.” She rubbed her nose with Lily’s, making her daughter giggle. “Did you have a good time with Baylee, Brian, and Leighanne? You didn’t give them any trouble, did you?”
“She was great. Seriously great,” Brian told her. “She played peacefully with Baylee, and Leigh and I had the time of our lives with her. I think having her around is definitely convincing Leigh that we should try for another baby. So thanks for letting us borrow her.”
Autumn shifted Lily onto her hip and smiled, a little frazzled still, at Brian. “No problem. It was strange to not have her around, but, uh, it was okay. I guess.”
Brian looked back at the tangle of clothing, bottles, and cards then back at her, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “I’ll just bet it was. So, who lost?”
She shut her eyes briefly, knowing that, by day’s end everyone else on the tour would know about the night she and Nick had had. “Uh, well, we played Go Fish.”
“Oh.” He looked at the cards. “Huh. I didn’t know Go Fish involved stripping.”
Autumn knew she was bright red, she could practically feel her ears flaming red. “It was strip Go Fish,” she said in a tiny voice. “Nick lost.”
“He’s still sleeping?”
“Yeah.”
“Well.” Brian stuck his hands in his pockets and continued to grin at her. “By the looks of things, both of you seem to have won. I guess you must have really liked the birthday present he got you, huh?”
She frowned. “Birthday present?”
“Yeah. He was really excited about giving it to you. He had it commissioned a month ago when he found out we were going to be in Italy on your birthday.” Brian stopped and studied her face. “He didn’t give it to you?”
She shook her head. “It was a crazy night, all in all, but I do remember him saying something about a present. He probably forgot in all the excitement.”
“I’ll bet.” Brian glanced around the room again then over at Autumn. “Well, I’ll just get out of your way. See you in a couple hours for lunch, right?”
Autumn wracked her brain for what was on her schedule for the day. “Yeah. Lunch. See you then.”
“Make sure Nick wakes up soon.”
“I will.” She bit her lip. “See you later.”
When the door shut behind him, Autumn pressed her face against Lily’s throat as her daughter patted her cheeks. “Oh, Lily. What am I going to do now?”
“Mama?” Lily’s questioning voice made her lift her head. “Where Daddy?”
Autumn froze. Daddy? “Who, Lily?” She couldn’t mean Nick, could she? She’d always called him Nicky, so she couldn’t possibly be referring to him. Right?
“Daddy, Mama, Daddy!” Lily bounced in her arms, and Autumn took a deep breath and decided to take a chance.
She carried Lily into the bedroom and gestured towards Nick. “Do you mean Nick, baby?”
When Lily saw Nick’s sleeping form, she clapped her hands. “Daddy!” When she wriggled out of Autumn’s arms, Autumn let her go and watched her little girl bolt towards the bed. Lily struggled to climb on top of the bed, and Autumn watched as her efforts and her voice woke Nick.
Groggy, he registered the fact that Lily was calling him, and she looked comical trying to climb on the bed and sliding off the comforter. His head felt as though a marching band was playing horribly inside it, but he reached for her and pulled her up.
“Daddy!” Lily threw her arms around him and kissed his face. “Missed you!”
Nick absorbed the shock of her words and the accompanying warmth that spread through him before his arms pulled her close. “Missed you, too, Lily.”
Over Lily’s head, his eyes met Autumn’s as she stood in the doorway. He could see the understanding in her eyes the instant she knew he remembered what they’d done the night before.
“Autumn.” His voice sounded like a plea to his ears, and he didn’t quite know what he wanted to say to her, ask her.
“We have to meet everyone for lunch in a couple hours. I’m going to try to clean up, so if you could watch Lily, that would be great.” Without waiting for an answer, she turned and left.
Nick sighed and laid back against the pillows again while Lily sat on his chest. “Well, munchkin. What am I supposed to do now?”
The tour moved from Italy to London for the last of its international stops. In London, Nick and Autumn were followed everywhere by the paparazzi. If they had thought being in the States or Japan was hard, the London media was all over them. They camped out in droves outside of the hotel and were always waiting for the couple to emerge after any interviews. Brian joked that if their album hit number one in its first week out, it would be all thanks to Autumn and Nick.
If anyone noticed that the couple at the center of attention was barely speaking to each other, no one said anything. Ever since that night in Rome, the only time Nick or Autumn spoke to each other was when Lily needed something or in order to keep up pretenses for everyone else on the tour.
Behind the closed doors of their hotel suite, Lily was the only one who spoke.
When their stay in London ended, the group split for a few days before the start of the promotional tour in the US. While Autumn wanted nothing more than to head right back to Los Angeles and her end of their house, Nick thought it better that they head down to Tampa. After all, he argued, it would be odd if he never took his family to the place he really considered home. Not wanting to talk to him any more than was necessary, Autumn agreed.
The weather in Tampa was perfect when they landed. It was her first trip to the city, and she eagerly drank in the sun, the sights, and was thrilled when she saw the beach at the edge of Nick’s waterfront property.
“Nick! It’s fantastic, absolutely fantastic,” she gushed in her first show of true emotion in over a week.
Nick stepped up beside her as she leaned against the balcony of his deck. “I love the water. It’s where I’m the most sure of myself. You know what I mean?”
“Yeah,” she murmured, knowing exactly what he meant. Before he could say anymore, she dashed off the deck and out to the water. It was crystal clear and warm. The sand was a brilliant white in the late-afternoon sunlight. Rolling up her jeans, she stepped into the surf and just breathed in the salty sea air. She hadn’t felt this peaceful in quite a while she had to admit, but just being here did it. She understood exactly how Nick must feel. Standing in the warm water with the sea breeze fluttering her hair, she admitted that the most important reason she hadn’t argued with Nick over coming to Tampa was the fact that LA had Summer and danger. Sure, she was curious about Nick’s home, but she was more interested in protecting her family from Summer.
“Hey, you still with us?” Nick grinned at her when her eyes blinked open and she squinted at his excited face while Lily bounced happily in his arms.
“Water, Mama, water! Wanna play. Daddy, down?” Lily pointed to the water, and Nick carefully set her down so the water washed over her tiny feet. It was still a shock whenever she called him Daddy, but he was getting used to it.
Autumn watched them splash each other and tried not to think of how Lily never called Nick by his name anymore. It was always Daddy this or Daddy that, and she was worried about what their inevitable divorce would do to Lily. In all of the fuss she’d made about her life being disturbed by their marriage, she hadn’t really thought of how attached Lily might become to Nick or how the dissolution of their marriage would hurt Lily.
She hoped that, when the time came to split, Lily wouldn’t be hurt. She’d probably still get to see Nick, seeing how attached he’d become to her little girl, too. Autumn knew she didn’t have the heart to separate them.
The splash of water on her face brought her back to the moment, and she glanced down into Nick and Lily’s mischievous faces.
“Uh-oh,” Lily deadpanned. “Run, Daddy, run!”
The tension that she and Nick had carried around since waking up in bed together vanished as they spent the rest of the afternoon chasing each other through the water, splashing and giggling hysterically.
The crash woke her as did the sound of raised voices. Blinking blearily, Autumn squinted at the bedside clock and frowned. It was only seven in the morning, so who was arguing and throwing things?
She leapt out of bed, wrapped herself in her robe, and hurried down the stairs. The sight of broken crockery in the kitchen snapped her mind instantly clear of all fuzziness.
Nick and an older, blonde woman stood in the middle of the mess and shouted at each other.
“Why do you always do this to me, Mom? Can’t you stand to see me happy? Can’t you handle the idea of any of your kids settling down and having a non-dysfunctional life?” Nick’s voice shook with anger and, Autumn was sure, an inner pain.
Jane Carter’s fists were clenched as she glared at her firstborn. “You’re not happy, Nick, and I know it. You’re my baby, and I know that you’re just carrying on with that whore for fun. You didn’t even know her a year ago, why on earth did you marry her?”
“Watch what you call my wife.” His voice was low and menacing, and, for the first time since she’d known him, Autumn saw how dark his anger could be.
“Nick.” She stepped into the room and, going to his side, she placed a hand on his arm. She could all but feel the rage emanating from him. “What’s going on?”
Jane’s eyes narrowed. “So this is the famous Autumn Evans? Not much to look at, but I can see why you’d want to sleep with her. Was it the sex that got you, Nicky?”
When he would’ve leapt forward, Autumn squeezed his arm. “Nick, don’t. Just don’t.”
He looked down at her and saw that his mother’s spiteful words hadn’t affected her. “Autumn, she can’t say things like that about you. It’s not right.”
“She isn’t insulting me, Nick. Don’t get mad at her on my account.” She stroked his cheek, trying to offer comfort. “Can’t you see that she’s just trying to hurt you, using me?” She knew he understood when his hand came up to cover hers and the blue of his eyes darkened with pain and fury. “Let me handle this.”
He stared into her eyes for long moments before he nodded. “Okay.”
Autumn let go of him then and glanced down at the shattered pieces of the white ceramic plates that were usually stocked in Nick’s cabinets. Shattered, she thought, much like Nick’s family was. Her eyes met Jane’s spiteful expression. “Well, this isn’t exactly the way I imagined meeting my mother-in-law, but I suppose it’ll have to do. I can’t say it’s nice to meet you, though, under the circumstances.”
“It’s not. I’d rather not have ever met you, but, unfortunately, my Nickolas never learned to distinguish right from wrong. You are absolutely wrong for him.” Jane’s eyes glittered with malice. “You may have fooled my ex-husband and the rest of my children, but you can’t fool me. I’m his mother, and I can see right through that wholesome image you’re trying to give off.”
Autumn nodded. “Obviously, you believed my sister’s stories.”
“How could I not? Wasn’t the father of your child with your sister? That makes you the lowest kind of woman imaginable. Aren’t you ashamed of hurting your own twin?”
“Mom. Didn’t you hear anything Autumn said in all of her interviews?” Nick’s hand found Autumn’s and squeezed it. “Why are you trying to rehash what’s already been resolved?”
“Because it’s a lie,” Jane spat. “She may have the rest of the world in her palm, but she won’t fool me. You made a mistake, Nick.”
Autumn spoke before Nick could. “Maybe it’s what you’d like to think, Mrs. Carter. Maybe you’d like to think that Nick couldn’t possibly be happy in a marriage because you weren’t, because you’re still bitter about the way your own turned out. But the fact is, Nick and I are happy, and we plan to be for the rest of our lives. You can say all you want, but I can promise you that all that will do is push Nick further from you. You’ve already hurt him so much, but he still allows you into his life, his home. If you push this, you may not even have that much left.” She held Jane’s gaze. “So think long and hard about what you really want. I can promise you, you don’t have that many chances left.”
Jane had no reply at that. She glared at Autumn for several moments before turning to Nick. Whatever she saw in his face and the way he clutched at Autumn’s hand must have made her re-think anything she may have said. Instead, she inclined her head and addressed both of them. “I won’t give you my blessings nor do I have any desire to see the child you wish to pass off as my grandchild. I always wanted the best for you, Nick, and if this woman is what you want, then I’ll have to content myself with that. It’s doubtful, though, that you’ll hear from me often as long as you’re with her. That’s all I have to say.” And she turned on her heel and stalked out.
“It’s more than I wanted to hear,” Nick murmured as he heard the door slam. He winced. “Think that woke Lily up?”
Autumn shook her head and, cupping his face in her hands, studied his face. “Don’t let her get to you. She didn’t upset me. I’m sorry that her words hurt you. Nick.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close. “You know what I saw when I looked at her?”
He buried his face against her neck and felt comforted. “A horrible mother?”
“No. I saw a tired woman who’s scrambled all her life for more but doesn’t have anything. She’s so close to losing what she does have, and that’s you and your siblings. I feel sorry for her.”
“Don’t.” His arms tightened around her. “She’s not worth it. If you knew half of what she’s put us all through-”
“I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. She loves you in her own way. It’s pathetic,” she added when he shook his head, “but it’s true. Whatever she is, Nick, she’s your mother.”
Nick let her go then and stepped back with a small smile on his face. “I know, and I have to remind myself of that every time she pulls something like this.” His face was grim as he looked around at the smashed dishes. “We’re a dramatic family, Autumn.”
“And, for the next few months, at least, you’re mine. I can handle it, Nick.” She lifted a brow when he shook his head at her. “Don’t forget, I have a miserable twin, too.”
He sighed and kissed her cheek. “Thanks, Autumn. You didn’t have to defend me or anything-”
“Don’t be stupid. Of course, I did. We’re friends, aren’t we?”
His heart stumbled a little at the sight of her and the way she still managed to smile in spite of everything his mother had said to her. “Yeah, I guess we are.”
“Good. Now.” She walked over to the laundry room and returned with a broom and dustpan. “Why don’t we clean up, and then I’ll make us breakfast. Do you want to go check on Lily?”
“Yeah.” He ran his hand through his tousled hair. “I’ll be back.”
When he did come back, half an hour later, he was dressed and carried a freshly-bathed and dressed Lily. Autumn hummed along with the radio as she flipped pancakes on the stove, and Nick had to swallow the saliva that pooled in his mouth at the sight she made, clad in just the short robe that left the majority of her legs bare.
“Autumn.”
“Hmm?” She turned and grinned at the sight of Lily. “Good morning, Lily! Want a pancake?”
“Des!” It was as close to yes as Lily could currently sound out, and it made Autumn smile. “Mama, want a pwesent?”
Autumn’s expression turned curious. “A present?” She glanced over at Nick, who just shrugged. “Okay, Lily. Sure, I’d love a present.”
Lily held out the box she held safely between her and Nick’s chest. “Here, Mama! Love you!”
Frowning, Autumn took the box and brushed her hand absently over Lily’s hair. “What’s this for?”
“Your birthday. I kept forgetting to give it to you with everything that, uh, happened.” He shifted uneasily on his feet. What if she didn’t like it? He’d wracked his brain for ideas, and this was the only one that had come to him. “I, uh, had it made by a really cool Italian designer.”
“Oh.” Autumn unwrapped the box and lifted the lid. Her face was unreadable for long moments as she picked up the bronze chain. Dangling from it were three charms, a pair of rust-colored leaves, a piece of rose quartz shaped into a lily, and a heart charm set between the leaves and the lily. Of the three charms, it was the heart that held her attention. The gem that had been shaped into a heart was a brilliant blue and shone from its innermost depths with various hues of blue when light struck it. “Nick.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper. “It’s gorgeous. You didn’t have to-”
“The leaves represent you. You know, Autumn,” he explained hurriedly, still nervous that she would give it back. “And the lily is for Lily. I put the heart between the two to mean the love between the two of you. She’s the most important thing in your life, and I just wanted this necklace to symbolize that.”
Autumn fought to swallow the tears that filled her throat. “Thank you, Nick. Thank you so much.” She held it out to him. “Can you put it on me?”
“Yeah.” But his fingers felt too big and too clumsy when he tried to slide it around her neck and fasten it. When his fingers brushed against her skin, they both stiffened a bit at the heat that seemed to flame from the contact. “There.”
“Thanks.” She brushed her fingers over the chain and its charms and felt the tears burn in her throat still. “I, uh, there’s a huge stack of pancakes on the counter. Do you think you could feed yourself and Lily while I go get dressed?”
Nick frowned at the catch in her voice but nodded. “Sure. Take your time.”
Autumn bolted out of the kitchen and, locking the door to her room, she slid to the floor and let the tears fall. She hadn’t wanted this to happen, she thought desperately. Hadn’t she told herself dozens of times that she wasn’t supposed to have feelings for Nick? Certainly not the kind that reached out of her heart and threatened to strangle her.
Pressing a hand to her heart, she finally admitted to herself that their divorce was going to be one of the hardest things she’d ever do.
