The alarm buzzed nearly an hour and a half later. Nick groaned at the sound and, reaching out a hand, smacked it off. There was no way he was going to get through the day on ninety minutes of sleep, but there was a flight to catch in a couple hours. Sleep was out of the question.

When his eyes blinked open and his brain engaged a little more, he realized he wasn’t alone in bed. Remembering the last time this had happened, he sighed in relief to note that, this time, he was fully clothed. And Autumn was sleeping like a rock, curled into his side, his arm draped over her waist.

"Autumn." He tapped her shoulder, then, not having budged her a bit, he shook her shoulder. "Come on, Autumn. We have to be at LAX soon. Gotta get Lily up and dressed, too."

"Mrrfle grmbfle," she muttered and burrowed into his side, her face buried in the pillow.

Grinning now at the amusement he felt at the moment, he felt the light bulb go off in his mind. Within seconds, Autumn was out of bed and glaring at him.

"That wasn’t funny." Her hands on her hips, her curls tousled around her face, she looked like a mess.

But a very cute mess, Nick thought as he climbed out of bed. "I thought it was pretty hysterical, actually. Tickling always worked for Howie and Brian, too. Good to know I’ve still got the magic touch." He wiggled his fingers, grinning at Autumn over them.

"Well, ha the freaking ha. It wasn’t funny." She rubbed her hands over her hair. "God, I must look awful." She glanced over at the clock and sighed. "It’s my turn to get Lily dressed, right?"

Nick thought for a moment then nodded. "Yep. I’ll get our bags in the car. You should probably go hop in the shower or something."

"Or something." She was already halfway to the door. Stopping in the doorway, she glanced over her shoulder at him. "Nick?"

He paused in the act of tugging his shirt off. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for listening and understanding."

"No problem. We’re good now, right?"

"Yeah." She smiled. "We’re pretty good."

He returned the smile. "Cool. Well, we get to meet our new bodyguard today. Now, Lily’s got her own. Who knew a two year old needed one?"

"She’ll be safe now?"

"Definitely."

"Okay." Autumn sighed. "I guess I’d better go get her up and ready to go. See you downstairs."

Nick watched her go and wondered, with Autumn protecting everyone else, who was protecting her. If he had any say in the matter, he’d make damn sure she was safe. Even if he had to do it himself.

***

The traffic in New York City was vicious. From the instant they landed early that afternoon, they were caught in the steady stream of stop and go traffic that clogged the roads in every part of the city. The Boys were late to nearly every radio station and magazine interview scheduled for that afternoon, and the radio station DJs weren’t exactly kind to them…until Autumn would walk into the room.

Nick couldn’t help but laugh at the way a DJ would go from being snarky and downright rude to tongue-tied and overly enthusiastic once Autumn popped into the studio. Nick knew she was a beautiful person, even going on barely any sleep, and he totally understood the awe and admiration that people spouted whenever they were around her. But he also had come to know that Autumn wasn’t always comfortable with that admiration, and she knew that she wasn’t the reason that they were doing these interviews. So, she would consistently steer the topic of conversation away from herself and right back to the Boys.

"I think Brian’s definitely had quite a few successes since the last album came out," she told one DJ when he tried to ask about her upcoming projects. "Why don’t we ask him how that’s been going?" And the DJ was forced to acknowledge Brian’s presence and allow him to speak.

"Did you see his face?" AJ chuckled gleefully when they were all back in the van, on their way to the final interview of the day. "God, I thought he’d seen an angel or something the way he stared at you. Not that you’re not a hell of a woman," he added to Autumn, "but still."

"They were going to cut that interview short by half," Howie told them as he snapped his cell phone shut. "That was management. They talked to the station, who was pretty pissed by the way that we showed up late. It’s like they’re doing us a favor by letting us drop by or something."

Brian slid an arm around Autumn’s shoulder and grinned at her. "Until Autumn here walks in the door. Then it’s like we did them a favor. I’m glad we brought you," he told her.

She kissed his cheek. "You’re too nice. I just made sure they remembered who it was they were supposed to be interviewing. It sure as hell isn’t my interview."

"I liked how they asked about Lily," Nick said, his eyes on the stalled traffic around them. "It was cute. Plus, we had a story to tell about her and the time she babbled along to I Want It That Way."

"She’s a true blue Backstreet baby now," Brian replied cheerfully.

"Yeah, just as long as she doesn’t streak across the stage at a concert." AJ slipped his sunglasses off and toyed with them absently. "We don’t need another one of those happening, do we, Bri?"

"Shut up."

Nick looked back at Brian, who sat on the other side of Autumn from Nick. "So, how’s the baby making going? I bet you’re having a lot of fun on that special project, huh?" He winked, even as Brian’s ears then his face slowly started to turn red.

"It’s going fine. Leighanne went to her doctor to talk to her about how safe it’ll be this time around, since she’s older, and whether or not we’ll need any, uh, help in conceiving." Brian twisted his wedding ring round and round on his finger. "I guess I didn’t really think about how much more work we’d have to put into trying to get pregnant this time around. Makes me see that Leighanne had good reasons for not wanting to try for another."

Howie turned around in his seat to face him. "Yeah, Leigh and I are wondering about how much trouble we might have when we decide to try for a family."

"Having a kid with Leigh? Without getting married?" AJ’s brows lifted. "Wonder how that’ll go over with your family, D."

Howie looked uncomfortable for a moment, his brow furrowed. Then, he sighed. "I didn’t bring this up before, but, uh, I asked Leigh to marry me back in December. She said yes, and we’re getting married this December."

The van exploded into yelps of surprise, congratulations, and, finally, indignant demands as to why Howie had held out on telling them for seven long months.

"Gee, Howie. I’m really hurt that you didn’t think it was necessary to tell us such huge news." Brian folded his arms over his chest and frowned. "Aren’t we important people in your life?"

Howie tried not to squirm. "Well, yeah, but, at the time, there was so much going on that Leigh and I decided to just wait for a bit."

"Yeah, but seven months?" AJ shook his head. "That’s a hell of a long time, man."

Howie looked sheepish and glanced at Autumn and Nick. "Well, there’s just been all that commotion with Autumn and Nick, and I just didn’t want our announcement to get lost in all the hustle and bustle."

Even as the guys frowned over this, Autumn understood and leaned forward to kiss Howie’s cheek. "It’s big news, important news, and you were right. You and Leigh shouldn’t be overshadowed by everything else. I’m happy for both of you. Do I get to come to the wedding?"

"Well, of course," Howie replied immediately, his smile huge. "Thanks, Autumn."

"Hey, you deserve to bask in the moment. Besides, you only get engaged once."

"Not according to AJ," Brian cracked. "He’s come close to being engaged three times."

"But I haven’t been engaged three times, have I?" AJ shot back. "Officially, it was only once."

Nick rolled his eyes. "Right, but if you’re planning on getting married at some point, you’d have to do it again."

"Or I’d just go ahead and have Elvis marry us right off the bat." AJ grinned even as Autumn blushed.

Nick pulled her close. "Don’t knock it, AJ. We had fun doing it. Besides, who’s got the girl? Huh? Huh?"

He managed to duck the hand AJ swatted at his head, but they were all laughing.

***

When they finally made it back to the hotel, Autumn and Nick found Lily happily playing with the new bodyguard, Derek, and the babysitter Autumn had hired for a few hours.

"Well, it looks like Derek might look mean, but he’s a big marshmallow," Nick murmured in Autumn’s ear as they stood in the doorway, watching the trio. Lily was, as usual, a hit, and it made Nick beam with pride at how amazing she was.

Then, Lily spotted them over Derek’s shoulder and, with a squeal, she ran towards them. Nick caught her and swung her around, making her gurgle with laughter. "Hi, Daddy, hi! Derek an’ Kwisty play! Fun!" She smacked a kiss on his cheek and laid her head on his shoulder. "Wanna play?"

"Sure, baby." Nick grinned at Derek and Kristy, the babysitter. "How was she?"

Kristy smiled as she grabbed her things. "She was fantastic! I’ve never met a two year old who wasn’t going through the terrible two’s, but Lily’s pretty awesome."

"Thank you." Autumn beamed as she dug out several bills from her bag. "I’m glad you could take this job on such short notice."

"It’s not a problem. I wouldn’t mind watching her again—if you ever need another babysitter while you’re in New York, of course." Kristy’s eyes met Nick’s, and he winked, lifting one finger to his lips.

Autumn shook her hand. "I will definitely get in touch with you because it’s pretty likely we’ll be back again. Thanks again, and have a good weekend."

"Yeah, you, too!" Kristy headed for the door, knowing she’d be back that night because Nick had hired her to babysit while he took Autumn to the Hard Rock for her surprise party. "Bye, Lily!"

"Bye bye, Kwisty." Lily waved her hand before turning and holding her arms out to Derek. "Let’s play, Derek."

Derek grinned before catching himself and giving Autumn and Nick a solemn look. "Okay."

"It’s cool, man. We won’t tell anyone you’re a big softie," Nick teased as Derek carried Lily back to where her toys were scattered.

"Like anybody would believe you?" Derek snorted. "I’ve got a rep, buddy."

Autumn just shook her head, yawning. "I’m glad we don’t have anymore plans for today. I need to go to bed so badly." Stretching her arms a little, she headed towards the bedroom, Nick trailing her.

"Listen, uh, Autumn. I was thinking," he began as she kicked off her shoes and sprawled on the giant bed.

Flopping onto her back, she grinned. "Wow, Nick. Did it hurt?"

"Shut up." He collapsed on the bed next to her, pleased when she moved, so her head could rest on his shoulder. "We should go out for dinner or something tonight. You know we won’t have any other night free while we’re in town. It’ll be good to get out and away for a little while."

"Nick."

"And, look, we’ve got Derek now, too," he added quickly. "Lily will be perfectly safe, so we could go out and not worry about Summer or anything. It’ll just be you and me and some great food. Please?"

Autumn sighed. She really was exhausted, but Nick had a point. She could use the night out and about, and it would be pretty great to eat food that didn’t come from the room service menus. "Okay," she relented finally. "When?"

"How about," he tilted his hand to read his watch, "be ready by nine-thirty or so? That gives us a couple hours to take a nap, too. Maybe Derek could feed Lily dinner tonight."

"Nick. We didn’t get another bodyguard so that he could play babysitter," she reminded him, but the idea did sound appealing at the moment.

Nick rolled his eyes. "Well, maybe just this once, he could do it. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I can move from this spot until I can get some sleep."

"Yeah, me neither." She could feel her eyelids getting heavier even as she lay there and summoned up the strength to get up. "I’ll go tell Derek."

"Okay."

When she came back, he was already asleep. His feet, with shoes still on them, hung off the bed, and his arm was his current pillow. He looked utterly peaceful lying there, already deep in sleep, and Autumn couldn’t help herself from brushing her fingers through his hair.

Changing into a pair of Nick’s basketball shorts and a T-shirt, she crawled onto the bed and, her head nestled on his shoulder, followed him into sleep.

***

By the time Nick managed to drag Autumn away from giving Derek a super list of everything Lily could possibly need, it was already quarter to ten. He knew Liz would be annoyed that he was going to get Autumn to her surprise party later than expected, but, hey, at least he was getting her there, right? That was his reasoning in any case.

"She’ll be fine. Derek’s got three kids of his own," Nick reminded Autumn as she worried about in the car.

"I know, but what if she doesn’t fall asleep on time because Derek’s a new person to her? She’ll be so cranky by the time we get home if that happens, and I always feel so bad when she gets cranky. She cries all the time."

Nick reached over and linked their fingers. "You’re preaching to the choir. I’ve seen Lily at her worst times, and you’re right. I think, though, that she’ll be just fine tonight."

"Yeah." Autumn sighed. "Yeah, she usually is." Settling back in the seat, she watched the lights of the city rush by and tried to relax.

When their chauffeur pulled the car to the curb in front of the Hard Rock Café, Autumn blinked in surprise. "The Hard Rock?"

"Yeah." Nick tugged her out. "I thought it was more casual, since neither of us is dressed up much." He gestured to their outfit choices. She was wearing a floral print, knee-length skirt with a black top, and he was clad in dark jeans and white shirt.

"Good idea," she agreed after a moment. "I probably wouldn’t have gone out if I’d had to dress up."

Nick tucked her arm through his and headed for the door. They were only fifteen minutes late, and he hoped everyone was ready for their entrance. When they entered the restaurant, it was uncharacteristically quiet and dark, and Autumn frowned.

"Nick, what’s going on? Are you sure they’re open?"

"They’re always open," he muttered as he led her towards the main room of the restaurant. "I’m sure there’ll be a waiter right up here."

Autumn shrugged, not really thinking so, but she went with him. After all, he had her arm in a nearly vise grip.

"SURPRISE!" The lights turned on, and confetti sprinkled onto Nick and Autumn. Autumn’s jaw dropped as she saw her friends, the other Boys, and various others she’d met over the past few years. "Happy Belated Birthday!"

"Oh, wow." She looked up into Nick’s beaming face. "You knew?"

"Well, yeah." He kissed the tip of her nose. "How else would I have gotten you here?"

Liz hurried up and crushed Autumn into a hug. "You should’ve seen the look on your face! Priceless." She waved her camera. "And I caught it. Thanks for getting her here, Nick."

"No problem."

"Okay, Autumn, let’s get you some champagne and mingle with everyone." Liz tugged her into the crowd, and Autumn decided it was the perfect time to let herself fully relax.

Nick watched her disappear into the cluster of people and grinned. She’d definitely been surprised. Liz had been right about the look on her face. He wondered if it would be the same if, or when, he ever told her that he was in love with her. He’d almost told her earlier that day when they lay in the hotel bed, but he hadn’t. It was hard, he realized, not to just blurt it out. Scary as hell it might be, but he knew he’d end up having to tell her before the night was over. He couldn’t hold it in, and, he realized, he didn’t want to. He just wanted her to know, so that he could find out how she felt.

"The night’s not over yet," he murmured. "And you’ve got another surprise coming, Autumn."

***

"Wow, Nick, wow. That’s the coolest thing anyone’s done for me in a long time." Autumn bounced on the backseat of the car. She’d had just enough champagne that her head was swimming with it. She didn’t mind because the event had called for her to get tipsy. "And you!" She nearly fell off the seat in an attempt to hug him. "You helped out and were so good at coming up with an excuse to get me out. You’re so sweet, Nick."

Nick held her closer and grinned into her alcohol-blurred eyes. "Baby, you’re toasted."

"Nuh-uh." She bit her lip sheepishly. "Okay, maybe a little. But, still. It was fun!" She kissed his cheek. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome."

Autumn snuggled into his arms and sighed happily. "You’re just the best husband a girl could ask for, you know. I didn’t think it would turn out this well, but you’re so good at surprises." She turned her head enough for her lips to brush his jaw. She didn’t notice when his heart started to beat more quickly beneath her head. "Mmm. I had the best time tonight! We should do this more often."

Nick tried not to let the way her lips were moving across his face affect him. "Sure. We’ll go out whenever you want to. I’m glad you had so much fun. You know," he began, but her lips effectively silenced him.

All the blood rushed to his head and made it spin as her lips devoured his. Her fingers ran through his hair as she plastered herself against him. Nick didn’t try to fight it, not that he thought he could even if he’d tried. His hands gripped her hips before slipping beneath her shirt to stroke the silky smooth skin of her back.

They broke apart when the car pulled up outside the hotel, and the blinding flashes from the paparazzi’s cameras filled the car.

"Listen, Autumn," he started to say, but she shook her head.

"That wasn’t a fluke, Nick, and I’m not that drunk." She straightened her shirt and, slipping her hand into his, pushed open the door and plunged into the fray of reporters.

By the time they made it to the elevator, they were both suffering from the usual headache the flashbulbs gave them. Nick leaned his head against the elevator wall and studied Autumn. She stood quietly, her face serene, as she watched the elevator’s progress on the numbers that lit up above the door.

"Nick. Look, you don’t have to apologize for kissing me because I kissed you first. I know." She shook her head. "Don’t let this inflate your ego or anything, but you’re a pretty phenomenal kisser. I have to admit I’ve sort of enjoyed that aspect of our marriage, but that doesn’t mean that the kissing means anything. It’s just chemistry."

When the elevator doors opened, Nick followed her off and tried not to be annoyed at how casual she was acting about everything. "No, see, it’s not just chemistry. At least, not for me."

"What are you talking about, Nick?" Autumn pushed open the door of the suite and stepped in. Dropping her purse on the table in the entrance, she turned to face him.

"I mean that this thing between us, it’s not just a fake marriage to me anymore." He blew out a breath. "The thing is…The thing is that it’s become a lot more. A hell of a lot more."

Autumn stared at him for a moment before she shook her head. "No. No, it hasn’t." She turned away from him and walked into the parlor.

Nick followed her as his anger grew. Here he was, trying to bare his heart to her, and she was walking away from him? No way he was letting that happen. "I know you don’t want to believe that something real could come out of this marriage—"

"No, Nickolas, nothing real can come from this." She fisted her hands on her hips and frowned. "You can’t let the illusion fool you. You and me, we’re just friends. That’s all we can be."

"Why? Why the hell can’t we be more?"

"Because I don’t want it." She held his furious gaze. "Because it won’t be real or true."

He wanted to shake her but knew that he couldn’t touch her. Not now. "If you think, for one second, that you don’t want what’s between us, then you’re not just lying to me; you’re lying to yourself, too. And don’t you try to tell me what my feelings are. You don’t know what’s inside me. I do. And I know that whatever’s inside me for you is real. It’s as real as it gets for me, and you’re going to have to deal with it."

"Not if I can help it." She glared at him, even though her heart was doing a jittery dance in her chest. "Why do you want to complicate everything? If we just stay friends, we can get through the next six months and come out friends after the divorce."

Nick shook his head. "No. I don’t want to stay just friends. And our divorce? It ain’t happening. Not as long as I can help it."

"What?" All the color drained from her face. "What do you mean, the divorce isn’t happening?"

"Exactly what I said. We’re not getting a divorce."

"And why the hell not?"

Nick met the anger in her flashing green eyes with a growing sense of cool calm. "Because I’m in love with you, Autumn. Because I’m so ridiculously in love with you, I don’t think I could stand to let you go. So, what are you going to do about that?"

She stared at him, her eyes the only color in her pale face. Moments passed, and Nick’s nerves began to scream. After what seemed like an eternity to him, she spoke. "I need to check on Lily." And, so saying, she walked away.

Nick stood, shocked, in the middle of the parlor. What the hell had just happened? He’d finally told her how he felt about her, and she’d been more concerned about their sleeping child? How could this be happening? he wondered. For the first time, he was completely honest about his feelings for a woman—the woman—and she’d dismissed them. Was he just supposed to let her walk away?

Hell, no.

Furious, and hurting, he started to head towards the second bedroom that Lily slept in. When he heard Autumn scream, he ran, his heart in his throat. He found her swaying, her face dead-white, next to Lily’s crib. Lily’s very empty crib.

Derek lay, unconscious, on the floor behind the crib.

"She’s gone. Oh, god, oh, god." Autumn wrapped her arms around herself and rocked, fear and grief echoing in her voice. "Oh, my god, Nick. I don’t know what to do. She’s gone, my baby’s gone, and I don’t know what to do now."

When she crumpled to the floor, hysterically sobbing, he gathered her up, his own heart shattering, and held her as he grabbed the telephone and called the police.