He didn’t say a word, didn’t dare to. He wasn’t sure what would come out if he did say something. It would definitely be something he would live to regret somewhere down the road. Instead, he said nothing as the detectives told them that they would put out an APB immediately and that the LAPD would contact Nick for the security codes to their home in LA. He didn’t see any reason why they still needed the DVD, not when they’d verified the fact that it was definitely Summer who had kidnapped Lily.
Still, he just listened and nodded. When they left, he headed for the elevators. Part of him wanted to just go down to the hotel bar and drink himself into oblivion. The sane, rational part of him said that was probably the stupidest thing he could possibly do. He wasn’t really liking the sane half of him, but he knew that forgetting about everything was not going to make his problems disappear.
So, he climbed aboard the elevator and didn’t so much as look at his wife when she stood next to him. He stared at the different numbers that lit up over the elevator door as they headed back up to their floor.
“We have to tell the guys the truth. About us.”
Now, he looked at her. Pressing a button on the panel, he brought the elevator to a halt between floors before turning to stare at her. “Excuse me?”
Autumn twisted her hands together nervously. “Look, all of this started with lies, and lying is what’s gotten us here. In this mess.” She sighed and looked down at her hands. “Nick, I don’t feel right lying to your friends anymore. I know you’re mad at me right now, but I think telling them the truth about why we’re really married is the right thing to do.”
“Oh, yeah, and you’re all about doing the right thing, huh?” He slapped a hand against the wall and caught Autumn’s wince. “Well, fuck you, Autumn. You are one hell of an actress. All these weeks that Summer had been threatening you, you didn’t say anything. Hell, I probably wouldn’t have known until Summer took Lily and ran if I hadn’t just walked in at the right time and seen that DVD. She was following us around the world, and you didn’t say a word. How could you?”
She could feel his sense of betrayal and knew there was no one to blame but herself. “I wanted to protect you! Damn it, Nick! I didn’t want to worry anyone else about any of this because I thought she was just bluffing. If I thought for even a second that she would really kidnap my daughter, I would’ve called out the goddamn army to keep us safe.”
“Because Lily’s your daughter,” Nick said quietly. “Because she’s only yours, so that means only you can protect her, only you can worry about her.”
“Nick-”
He turned away from her. Now, alongside the anger, there was pain. She really didn’t trust him, he mused bitterly. She hadn’t trusted him enough to help her keep their family safe. And, where she couldn’t trust, she obviously didn’t love either. Why, he wondered, did he fall for the one woman who would never, ever love him back?
“We’ll tell the guys, right now,” he replied softly. “You’re right about one thing. It’s time to end all the lies.”
She nodded, worried by the lack of expression on his face and the flat tone of his voice. “Okay.”
When they opened the door to the suite, they found that Brian had called up Howie and AJ. Howie paced the parlor, while Brian was on his cell phone. AJ, though, was sitting on the couch, his arm around Liz’s shoulders as she wept. Even as they watched, he handed her tissues and brushed his lips over her temple.
Though he knew he shouldn’t, Nick felt a frisson of humor work its way through the anger and hurt inside him. He should’ve known AJ wouldn’t wait too long to make a move on someone like Liz.
“Hey!” Howie spotted them first. The other three turned their attention to them immediately.
“I gotta go, baby, Nick and Autumn are back,” Brian murmured into the phone. “I love you, too. Bye.” He snapped his phone shut and looked up expectantly. “Well? Did you find anything?”
“Yeah.” Nick headed for the mini-fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. “Summer knew the whole set up and planned this out a while ago.” And he explained everything, even the part where she’d followed them on tour. For Autumn’s sake, though, he left out the part where Autumn hadn’t told anyone about the threats.
“God, what a bitch!” AJ proclaimed when Nick finished. “What a seriously psychopathic bitch. I don’t understand how the two of you shared the womb together,” he said to Autumn. “You’re nothing alike.”
Nick didn’t think he agreed with that statement. After all, the twins were fabulous actresses. “Whatever it is, it doesn’t change the facts. Summer has Lily, and the cops are going to find her no matter what.” He set the bottle aside and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Listen, Autumn and I need to talk to you guys about something. Something we should’ve told you from the start.”
Liz looked alarmed. “Nick, what’s going on?”
“What should’ve happened in the very beginning,” Autumn replied calmly, though her insides were quaking. Brian, AJ, and Howie had become the older brothers she’d never had, and she cared about them a lot. She just hoped they wouldn’t be too upset at being kept in the dark.
“Why don’t you sit?” Nick suggested to the guys. Exchanging bewildered glances, they did.
AJ frowned and toyed with the earpiece of his sunglasses. “Nick, it can’t be that bad, can it?”
Nick gulped. “Uh, why don’t you hear us out and then decide?” He took a deep breath and dove in. “Do you guys remember when I told you, back in November, that I was going to go out with Liz?”
“Nick.” Liz’s whisper was horrified.
“Sure.” Howie frowned at Liz. “But you said later that it was all a cover up to you dating Autumn.”
Nick sighed. “Well, that was a lie. In fact, everything you know about Autumn and me has been a lie for the last eight months. We got engaged and married to save her career from being destroyed by Summer’s accusations. Plus, being married to Autumn was a sure way to boost the Backstreet name.”
There was a long moment of stunned silence.
“Excuse me?” AJ’s face had paled, though his eyes sparked with temper. “You made up all of that, every last bit of that marital bliss and being a father to Lily, and yadda yadda just to save the group’s name? Oh, right, and to save Autumn’s career.”
Nick nodded. “Yeah.”
“And, what? You couldn’t trust us with the truth? We’ve known you for fifteen years, but you didn’t think twice about lying to us?” Howie’s voice was not quiet. In fact, he was close to raging. “Wait until Kevin finds out you lied to him, too! God, Nick, how could you?”
Nick didn’t know, couldn’t come up with all the reasons that had seemed to make so much sense to him months ago. Nothing made sense anymore. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“Look, you’re all being too harsh on him,” Autumn broke in. “He was trying to help me. To protect me.”
“Oh, don’t get me started on you.” AJ gestured with his hat in hand. “You’re just as bad if not worse than he is. You’re a hell of an actress, aren’t you? Did you have to pretend to be our friend and care about us, too? Was that part of being Nick Carter’s wife? Was that on your goddamn checklist of what to do as his wife?”
“AJ.” Nick’s voice was quiet but firm. “Leave her out of it. She didn’t want to go along with my plan in the beginning anyway. All of this was my idea. The only thing I didn’t plan on was loving Lily. Finding her is the most important thing to me right now. If you want to be pissed off at me, fine. Go ahead. But there’s a little girl out there with a really wicked aunt, and I’m going to spend my time praying that we can bring her home safely.” He ran his hands wearily through his hair and sighed. “Autumn thought we should tell you the truth, and I agreed. I’m tired of lying because it hasn’t gotten us anywhere. Now, if none of you mind, I need a little space.” When not one uttered a single word, he strode off into one of the bedrooms and shut the door.
There was silence for several long moments as everyone looked around the room at each other. What was there to say? Autumn figured that Nick’s bandmates now hated her, and Nick was angry with her. Liz was the only one that wasn’t upset with her. AJ and Howie sat in shock still at the news they’d just received. About the only one that said nothing was Brian.
But that didn’t last for long.
“A few months ago,” he began softly, “at your reception, I thought there was something off.” Autumn met his eyes, remembering his suspicion. “I guess I was right. Then.”
“Brian.”
“But something’s changed since then,” he continued in that same tone, his eyes direct on hers. “Nick grew up. Whether or not you want it, Autumn, he is Lily’s father now, and you won’t be able to stop him from being her father. But it’s not just that, is it?”
Autumn’s pulse sped up, and she remembered the words Nick had thrown at her the night before. Love. He loved her. “Brian, I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I think you know. Nick’s not known for his patience, so I’m sure he’s told you by now what he really feels for you. It’s hard to miss.” He reached out and took her hand in his. “He’s in love with you. The thing I don’t know, though, is if you love him back.”
She swallowed the lump of emotion balled in her throat. “Brian, I can’t even think about this right now. My child has been kidnapped, and I just—I just can’t worry about anything but Lily.”
“I know.” He let go of her and turned to AJ and Howie. “There’s really no point in being pissed at each other. It’s not like we haven’t all lied to each other, anyway. Besides, I’d rather not lose a new friend.” He smiled at Autumn. “So, let’s just forget about it.”
Howie nodded after a few moments, but AJ’s brows rose. “Wow, Brian. I can’t believe you just said ‘pissed’.”
When laughter filled the room, Autumn felt some of the tension lift from her shoulders. Then, she thought of Lily, and her laughter died.
***
She waited and worried and even let Brian lead a little group prayer for Lily’s safety. Three hours later, nothing AJ, Howie, Brian, or Liz did was helping her any. Someone from the forensics team had stopped by again for one last sweep of the suite and assured her that they were doing all they could to help bring her daughter home. Autumn was not at all assured by any of it.
After Liz forced her to eat a little bit of breakfast, she was feeling anxious and jumpy. How could she sit inside a hotel room calmly when her child was out there, somewhere?
“Go talk to Nick.”
“Huh?” Autumn looked up from the cup of tea sitting in front of her. AJ stared right back.
“I said I think you should go talk to Nick.”
She blinked, confused. “Why?”
AJ rolled his eyes. “What do you mean, why? It’s obvious that you’re out of your mind with worry, and, knowing Nick, he’s probably sitting in that room by himself doing the same thing. It might be better if the two of you just freaked out together. After all, only the two of you know what you’re feeling. Much as the rest of us love Lily, she’s yours. And Nick’s.” He gestured towards the closed bedroom door. “So, go on.”
She hesitated. “I don’t know, AJ. He’s pretty angry at me about a lot of stuff. I guess I haven’t exactly been the perfect wife or friend to him. He always wanted me to trust him, but I guess I never did. Not completely anyway. And when I thought about just protecting him from all those threats, he saw it as more distrust.”
“Do you trust him now?”
“I think so. I know he’s always said he loves Lily and would do anything for her, but I didn’t totally believe it until now. Until we lost her.” Her voice broke and, instantly, AJ enveloped her in a hug as she tried to sniffle back the tears. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to keep crying, but Lily’s my baby.”
AJ held her close. “You’re allowed to be human, Autumn. You’re allowed to have a breakdown. If you didn’t, I’d be worried. If Lily’s as strong as you, she’ll be just fine.” He let her go and tipped her chin up to look into her eyes. “Go talk to Nick. You’ll feel better if you do.”
She brushed away the tears that clung to her eyelashes and nodded. “Yeah, I guess.” She managed a watery smile and stood. “Thanks, AJ. I know you were pretty upset before, but I’m glad you guys are here for us.”
“Hey, whatever you need, we’ll be there for you.” He nudged her towards the bedroom. “Now, go.”
So she went. She knocked on the door once, then twice. When there was no answer, she quietly pushed it open.
Though the sun was shining outside, the drapes in the room had been drawn shut to block it out. It wasn’t hard to see him laying on the bed, facing away from the door. Sighing a little, she made her way to the bed and around to where he lay on it.
His eyes were closed, and there were dark circles under them. How long had they been there? she wondered. He looked as tired as she felt, but at least he’d decided to do something about it.
And then his eyes opened and locked on hers, and she wondered how she could’ve ever imagined that he’d been sleeping.
“Nick, uh, I hope I didn’t wake you up.” Her voice was tiny and apologetic.
He stared at her for long moments before he sat up and made space for her. Cautiously, she settled on the edge of the bed.
“I wasn’t sleeping,” he replied after several moments of silence. “Tried to, but there’re all these horrible images in my mind. Having a great imagination sucks sometimes.”
“Yeah, I know,” she murmured and picked at the bedspread, the restless movement of her hands betraying her nerves.
When his hand closed over hers, she jolted. “Nick!”
“You’re nervous. You’re practically jumping out of your skin because you’re freaking out.” His eyes were calm, clear, and direct on hers, and she knew she could no longer lie to him. “Your hands get all jittery when you’re nervous, you know.”
“They do?”
He smiled a little. She sounded so astonished to learn something about herself that she knew nothing about. “Sure, they do. Autumn, how long are you going to try to pretend to the world that everything is fine? How long are you going to try to protect everyone around you?”
“I-I don’t know what you mean.”
Nick took both of her hands in his, rubbing his thumbs over her knuckles. “You know what I’ve learned about you after living with you for a few months? You take on the role of everyone’s protector. You do it for Lily, for Liz, hell, you did it for me, too. Haven’t you ever thought that maybe we don’t need it?”
“Well, then, next time you step in front of a bus, I won’t stop you,” she muttered, annoyed. “It’s not a bad thing to want to take care of other people.”
“I never said it was. But, sometimes, you have to let other people take care of you, too.” He sighed. “That’s all I wanted from you. I wanted you to trust me enough to take care of you when things go wrong. I can’t do that if you keep blocking me. And I really want to take care of you,” he murmured, one hand reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear.
She could feel her skin heat where he touched it and fought down the blush creeping up her neck. “I’ll try, Nick. I can’t promise much, but I’ll try. It’s just hard for me to let someone else have control because I’ve been taking care of myself for so long.” She carefully lifted her eyes to meet his. “I do trust you, and I do care about you. That’s why it was hard for me to let you know when Summer was stalking us. I didn’t want to worry you.”
“Yeah, well, it’s a little late for that.” Nick shook his head. “God, I keep imagining all the things that might be happening to Lily. Summer wants something from you, so she’s got to call or leave another message soon. Right?”
Autumn sighed and shook her head. “Honestly, I don’t know anymore. She probably figures she’s getting her payment by watching me suffer. I hope that’s not all she wants. I really hope she gets greedy and wants money. I’d give a million dollars for her to just call with a ransom demand or something.”
When she started shaking again, Nick pulled her into his arms and held on. He knew they both needed the comfort, and, holding her, he prayed that something would happen soon. The waiting was killing him.
***
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Brian held Nick’s face in his hands and stared hard into his face. “Nick. Are you absolutely positive you’re ready?”
Nick took a deep breath before nodding. “Yes. Yes, absolutely.”
Brian let go of him and glanced over his shoulder to where Autumn was being briefed by Liz. “What about Autumn? Is she going to be okay?”
“I’ll be right next to her,” Nick replied simply, causing Brian to turn and study him again.
“Yeah, I guess you will,” he said after a moment. “Well, AJ, Howie, and I will be at the bottom of the steps the whole time. If you need a cheering squad, just look over and we’ll do a dance or something.” Brian cracked a smile and pretended to wave pompoms enthusiastically. His smile widened at the sound of Nick’s chuckle.
Nick patted Brian’s shoulder. “Thanks, man. I really appreciate it.”
“I can’t imagine how hard it would be to lose Baylee, and I don’t want to. It must be hell.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“I know we’ve said it like a billion times, Nick, but, whatever you and Autumn need, we’ll be there for you.”
Nick didn’t know what else to do, so he hugged Brian. “Thanks. Seriously, thanks.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Brian backed out of Nick’s hold and looked around comically. “You better hope no one saw that, or they’ll really get on our case about being gay.”
Nick was still laughing when the press director stepped out of the hotel conference room where the press conference was going to be held. “Mr. and Mrs. Carter? We’re ready for you now.”
Autumn reached for Nick’s hand as they walked to the door. AJ and Howie patted him reassuringly on the back and hugged Autumn. Nick felt them walk into the room behind him and felt slightly better as he faced the roomful of reporters. There were cameras and recorders out across the room. A sea of solemn, yet eager, faces watched him and Autumn.
He felt her tense up next to him and slid an arm around her waist. “It’s going to be okay,” he whispered and she nodded.
They took their places at the table set up with several microphones. Nick looked down at the prepared statement that management had helped him and Autumn write. The press director introduced them and let the reporters know that there would only be time for three questions from the group. Then, it was their turn.
Autumn took a shaky breath before she began to speak. “Last night, Nick and I,” she gripped his hand hard, “returned to this hotel, to our room, and found our daughter missing and her bodyguard unconscious on the floor. In the hours since then, the police have helped us ascertain that it was my twin sister, Summer, who kidnapped Lily.”
“The police are doing everything they can to help us,” Nick said. “But it’s still so hard to wait and not know where Lily could be or what’s happening to her. It’s hard not to imagine the worst case scenario. We are asking—no, begging,” he improvised as his voice shook with emotion. “We are begging everyone out there to let us or the police know if you’ve seen Summer Evans. No matter where you’ve seen her, please call and let the authorities know. There’s even a special number you can call just for this. So please help us. That’s all we ask.”
Autumn leaned into him as they both said, “Thank you,” together.
When numerous hands shot up across the room, Nick called on one. “What’s your question?”
“There are rumors circling that Summer Evans had been sending threats to you, Autumn. Can you confirm or deny this?”
Autumn nodded. “She did. For several weeks, I received a variety of messages and threats, each one more nasty than the last. So, yes, it’s true that she did send threats.”
Another reporter immediately asked, “Did you take extra precautions to ensure your family’s safety? Or was nothing done? Isn’t it true that yesterday was the first day your daughter had a bodyguard?”
Nick felt his fist clench tightly and spoke through his teeth. “If you’re implying that we had any responsibility in the kidnapping of our daughter, you are absolutely wrong. I don’t even know how you could think to ask someone that question. Did we mean to endanger our child? Hell, no. No parent does.”
“Nick.” Autumn’s whisper was a plea. “Let me.”
He shook his head and continued to glare daggers at the reporter. “We love our child, and we didn’t think that Summer would ever harm her. Her hatred is directed towards her sister, and maybe at me, and we expected her to come for us. Yeah, we hired extra security, but it’s obvious that our attempts at being good parents didn’t make a difference. So don’t stand there and tell us that we could’ve been better parents. Tell me, what else would you have done?”
The reporter said nothing and sat down.
Autumn sighed. “Thank you all for being present today. If you could distribute pictures of Summer on your stations and newspapers and urge your viewers to contact us or the police if they have any information, we would be very grateful.”
The press director stepped in and quickly closed the conference. Nick pushed away from the table and headed down the stairs. He needed to get out and away, he thought. He just needed some fresh air, some quiet. He hadn’t meant to let his anger get the best of him, but it had. His fear had unleashed his anger, and he tried to rein it back.
“Way to go, tiger,” AJ commented as he swung out the door right behind Nick. “Wait up.”
“Go away,” Nick growled over his shoulder and continued to stomp down the hall.
AJ rolled his eyes and sped up enough to grab Nick’s shoulder and stop him. He didn’t bother wincing at the rage on Nick’s face and met it head-on. “Go ahead, take a punch. But don’t leave your wife back there. She’s in just as much pain and is just as scared as you, if not more, so don’t leave her right now. The rest of us can try to offer comfort, but you’re the only one she needs right now.”
Nick knew AJ was right, but the mixture of rage and fear within him swelled uncontrollably. “She’ll be okay.”
“Nick.”
“Fuck you, AJ,” he muttered and arrived back at the conference room just as Autumn came out.
She was deathly pale, and there were fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. Though Liz tried to talk to her, she didn’t look as though she heard a word. When she saw Nick, though, she threw her arms around him and held on.
Nick gathered her into his arms and met AJ’s look with a resigned shake of his head. Then, scooping Autumn up, he carried her to the elevator as she continued to weep.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I know, I can't believe it either! But, yes, I've actually posted another chapter in less than 24 hours! Whoo-hoo! I hope you enjoy!
