She didn’t know what she was doing, but she was doing it anyway. She was not going to talk herself out of this one. She was just going to do it.
There was a huge possibility that he wasn’t home, a little voice in her head whispered. After all, the new album was only a week from release, so he could be anywhere.
Shut up, she told that voice. If she didn’t go now, if she didn’t see him now, she might just lose her nerve. And her spine.
Autumn didn’t let herself think but simply drove down one road, then the next, until she reached her destination. Pulling up in front of the house, she rang the buzzer. When there was no answer, as she’d expected, she tapped in the security code to open the gates. When the system gave her an error code, she frowned. She tried it again, and, again, she was informed that it was the wrong one.
Oh, god, did he just lock me out of our home? Autumn wondered frantically. Grabbing her phone, she called the security company.
When she’d explained her problem to the woman in charge, she was told that she was not on the classified list that the homeowner had given the company. Therefore, she was not permitted to receive the code.
Autumn hung up and laid her head on the steering wheel. In the backseat, Lily played cheerfully with her toys, and, in the front, her mother had a tiny breakdown.
“He locked me out,” she whispered to herself. “First, he sends me divorce papers, then he locks me out of our home. Damn it.” She sat up and pounded a fist on the dashboard, making Lily quiet down and watch her mother curiously. “Damn it! He can’t do that to me! To us! What the hell is he thinking? What is he smoking?”
She stared up at the house on the hill and wished she could climb the fence and get inside. “Imagine how that would sound on TV. ‘Autumn Evans tries to break into almost ex-husband’s home.’ I’d be…” she trailed off, remembering. “Crap. I’d be like his psycho mother.”
“Damn,” Lily enunciated from the backseat.
Autumn turned around, and Lily gave her an innocent smile. “Oh, don’t you start on me, too.” But she smiled back and tickled Lily, making her giggle. “No more cursing in front of my baby, right, Lily?”
“Nope.” Lily’s eyes sparkled with humor, and Autumn wanted to cry.
“You remind me of Nick, now. Oh, jeez, did he rub off on you that fast?”
Lily didn’t understand, so she didn’t reply. Instead, she looked out the window. When she saw their old home, she squealed. “Mama! Daddy! See Daddy!”
“No, baby.” Autumn studied the house one more time. If it was the last time she was to see it, she wanted to treasure it. But, as her gaze swept over the expansive and well-tended lawns, her eyes caught on the sign on the edge.
For Sale.
She nearly went through the roof on that one. Now, she was panicking. He was selling their home. The house that they’d lived in together. He was just going to let go of everything that had ever been theirs. He’d said he loved her, but, here Nick was, getting rid of the home that had been theirs.
“Hell, no.”
She fished her cell phone out of her bag and frantically went through her phone book, trying to figure out who to call. When she’d been in the “I’m leaving Nick for good” phase, she’d deleted his number. So, now, she called AJ, Howie, and Brian’s numbers, but there was no response. Her panic level inched higher.
Finally, she hit on the perfect person to call.
“Hello?”
“Leighanne! Hi.”
There was a pause and then, “Autumn? Autumn Evans, is that really you?”
“Y-yeah. It’s me.” She felt the urge to shuffle her feet nervously. “How are you?”
“Me? Oh, I’m just fine and dandy. How the hell are you? It’s been six weeks since Brian and Kevin went to see you, and now you decide to call?” Leighanne sounded perplexed and annoyed at the same time.
Autumn sighed. “I know, and I’m sorry. I just needed a little bit of time to get my head on straight.”
“And is it?”
“I’m back in town, aren’t I? It’s definitely on straight.”
“You’re in LA? Damn it, Autumn.”
“What? Why?” She sat up in her seat. “Did something happen?”
Leighanne sighed. “It’s just that the guys are off in Europe, and Baylee and I are in Atlanta right now. You picked a stellar time to show up.”
“Leighanne, did you know he’s put our house up for sale?” Autumn’s eyes fixed on the sign again, and she swallowed the urge to cry.
“Oh, honey. I didn’t think you’d go by the house and see that.” There was a pause. “I’m really sorry, Autumn. I think I heard Nick say that someone had already given him a great offer.”
“What?” Her breath caught. “No, he can’t do that! My name’s on that deed, too!”
Leighanne was quiet for a few moments. “Does this mean that you want Nick back?”
“No! Yes! No…I don’t know. I just know that I came here to talk to him, not knowing what to say, but I figured it would come to me when I saw him. But, now, I can’t even get into the house, and he’s selling it!” Autumn’s voice shook. “Leighanne, I screwed up. I keep doing everything wrong, and I don’t know how to fix things. To make things right with Nick.”
“Well, for starters, you need to actually see him.”
“I know.” Autumn turned her head to see Lily playing with her teddy bears. “But he’s obviously far away. And busy. I don’t want to mess stuff up for the album premiere.”
Leighanne thought for a moment. “You’re not busy next Thursday night, are you?”
“N-no. Why? What’d you have in mind?”
Leighanne quickly explained her idea, and, when Autumn had reluctantly agreed, Leighanne promised to send her directions.
“Thanks, Leighanne. Really. You’re a lifesaver.” Autumn felt slightly relieved, knowing that, even if she had to wait until next week, she wouldn’t chicken out on seeing Nick. After all, Leighanne would kill her if she did.
“No problem. You need to go home and pamper yourself for a week. You better look fabulous next week!”
“I’ll try,” Autumn chuckled. “I have to go. I’ll probably be given a ticket for loitering in this neighborhood when I obviously don’t live here anymore.” She sighed. “I’ll see you soon!”
“Definitely.” Leighanne crossed her fingers and toes. “And do not, under any circumstance, talk yourself out of doing this. You owe yourself and, more importantly, Nick. Do this, and both of you will be better off for it.”
Autumn bit her lip. “Even if we don’t get back together.”
“Yeah.” Leighanne sighed. “Even if you don’t. But that’s up to you. You know what Nick wants, but now you have to figure out what you want.”
What she wanted, Autumn thought later as she drove towards Sherrie’s home. What she wanted was as murky as the Mississippi River after a flood. It was a mess.
***
Since you drained all the color
Out of the sky
How am I supposed to feel?
It’s like I’m living in somebody else’s life
Tell me it’s not real
I can’t imagine it any other way
A world without you is only wasted space
You’re gone and
I’ll always wonder
Why it can’t be
Any other way
Nick flipped through the pages of the contract, not seeing a single word that was written on the sheets of paper. All he could think was, This is it. If I sign this, it’ll really be over.
“Mr. Carter? You did receive the contract, didn’t you?” The real estate agent waited impatiently on the other line. “Mr. and Mrs. Ramirez would really like to have the paperwork filed by the end of tomorrow. They’re very eager and excited to move into their new home as soon as possible.”
Nick licked his lips nervously and wondered what to do. The agent had faxed the paperwork to the hotel in New York City because the buyers desperately wanted his home, but he was no longer sure that he was making the right decision by selling it. “Mr. Bradley, I need time to fully read through everything, and I just don’t have the time right now. Tomorrow is a very important day for me, and I’ve been pretty busy.”
“Mr. Carter, I’m fully aware that you have a new project being released tomorrow and that you’re very busy, but surely you don’t need that much time? You already know what they’re offering you for the property.”
“I know what they’re willing to pay,” Nick snapped, his patience wearing thin. “I just need you to give me a little time, and I promise I’ll take care of it.”
There was a short silence on the other end. “Fine. You have until Friday, Mr. Carter. Please read it carefully and get the paperwork to me as soon as you can.”
Nick rolled his eyes and hung up. He tossed the packet of papers onto the dresser in his hotel room and flopped back onto the bed. To say he was exhausted was a huge understatement. He was drained of every bit of energy he had. It had taken far too much effort to walk around happily, convincing everyone that he was fine, that he was back to normal. That he didn’t miss Autumn and Lily so badly it felt as though there were a hole inside him that would never be filled.
He’d filed for divorce as soon as he’d been able to, and part of him wished he hadn’t. He hadn’t heard back from his lawyer yet on whether or not the signed papers had been filed. Whether he was married or not.
Nick raised his left hand to study the glint of the ring still on his finger. Autumn may have been able to easily discard her wedding ring, but he hadn’t been able to. Not yet. He wore her rings on a chain under his shirt all the time and knew it was pathetic that he did so. He just couldn’t help it.
None of the guys had remarked on the fact that he still wore his ring, but he knew that they wanted to just give him space. They didn’t want him to break down in the middle of the album release week. Everyone was already under so much stress, and Nick knew he was close to the end of his supply of strength.
Closing his eyes, he tried, for the millionth time, to erase the image of Autumn from his mind. It didn’t work.
It never would.
***
Club Opera was bustling. There were dozens of cameramen and reporters hanging around outside the entrance, waiting to capture a glimpse of the Backstreet Boys and the other celebrities that had shown up to support them for their LA Unbreakable release party. Nick’s initial plan to marry Autumn and skyrocket the Backstreet name through the roof had worked. Tragedy and the impending divorce had added an irresistible allure, and the Hollywood media hounds were straining at the bit for every last piece of information they could get about the Backstreet Boys, Nick Carter, and the elusive Autumn Evans.
Inside, Nick wished he were anywhere but under the attention of everyone and anyone that had shown up. People still asked after his health and the whereabouts of Autumn. He was tired of saying that he was fine, that he felt perfect, and no comment on where his soon-to-be ex-wife was currently located.
Howie, AJ, and Brian stuck close to his side throughout the red carpet interviews and didn’t let him go far once they were inside and the party had begun. He never noticed that Leighanne kept hanging around near the entrance, her eyes trained on the door. But, Brian did.
“Who are you looking for?” he asked her at one point as he stopped by to hand her a drink. Even as he tried to tug her back into the party, she resisted.
“I’m fine right here, Brian.” She kissed him lightly. “Why don’t you go back and enjoy yourself? Keep an eye on Nick. Make sure he doesn’t touch the alcohol.”
Brian’s brows lifted in surprise. Since when had his wife begun to take such a vested interest in Nick Carter? “Sure, okay. Are you positive you want to stay out here by yourself?”
“Absolutely. Now, go.” She nudged him back towards the main room of the party and had to smile at the concern in his eyes. Then, she turned back to the door, waiting for the surprise.
An hour into the party, the Boys were approached by several members of their management team and the record company.
“Why don’t you guys get up on stage and sing a few songs?” one of them suggested. “Do a couple of the old ones, and one or two new ones. Let people know that the Backstreet Boys are as talented as ever.”
AJ shrugged. “They already know we are. Besides, we don’t want to tire Nick out.”
Nick frowned, annoyed. “I’m fine. I’ve been singing for the last three weeks on all those shows in Europe and Japan, remember? I can do it if you guys think we should.”
Brian looked at Howie, Howie looked at AJ, and AJ sighed and nodded. “If you’re sure, Nick.”
“Positive.”
They didn’t have their band with them, but they were handed four microphones when they climbed onto the small stage. The DJ silenced his music, and everyone in the room seemed to be holding their breaths. Then, four voices lifted in harmony, and, quickly, the room was filled with people snapping their fingers and clapping along.
The Boys sang through I Want it That Way, and Nick had just reached the middle of his verse in As Long As You Love Me when he heard the squeal seconds before his leg was attacked.
The microphone fell from his hands and clattered on the floor.
“Daddy!” Lily’s arms wrapped around Nick’s neck when he dropped to his knees and crushed her in a hug.
“Lily! Oh, god, I’ve missed you,” he whispered as he pressed kisses all over her face, shocked that he was actually holding her for the first time in months.
She giggled and laid her hands on his cheeks, kissing his nose. “Missed you, too, Daddy. Love you.”
“I love you, too,” he told her, before he scooped her up and stood. Beyond the lights surrounding the stage, he could see Leighanne beaming at the bottom of the steps, but his eyes were only for the woman standing next to her.
No one said a word as he dumped Lily into AJ’s arms, scrambled off the stage, and, grabbing Autumn’s arm, pulled her out of the club.
“Well,” Brian spoke into his mic after a long silence. “That was…interesting. You never know what to expect with the Backstreet Boys, folks! Alright!”
There were a few nervous chuckles from the audience.
Howie rolled his eyes, though he, too, was concerned about Nick. “Unfortunately, we really do need Nick in order to finish out the set we have for you, so hang out and we’ll finish up when he returns.”
“If he returns,” AJ muttered under his breath. Lily sat calmly in his arms, but her expression was confused.
“J? Where Mama and Daddy go?”
Brian ruffled her curls as the three men marveled at how she’d grown in the nearly three months since they’d last seen her. “Hopefully, kiddo, they went to make things right. Maybe you’ll get a present tonight.”
“Pwesent?” Lily’s frown turned to a delighted squeal. “Yeah! Pwesents!”
AJ chuckled. “Well, at least she’s easy to please.”
***
People tell me
You stay where you belong
But all my life I’ve tried
To prove them wrong
They say I’m looking for
Something that can’t be found
They say I’m missing out
My feet don’t touch the ground
But there are moments
When you can’t deny what’s true
Just an ordinary day
Back when I met you
While Lily may have been easy to please, Nick certainly couldn’t say the same about her mother. They stood under a lamppost, three blocks away from the club. The paparazzi outside the club had started to rush after them, but, one menacing look from Nick, and they’d backed off. Though they were still recording the whole thing from two blocks away.
For several moments, Nick and Autumn just stared at each other, unsure of what to say. Everything he’d ever thought he would say if he saw her again just flew out of his head. All the speeches she’d rehearsed for this moment vanished.
He looks wonderful.
I can’t believe she’s actually here. She looks so beautiful.
Oh, God. What do I say now?
Help me, God. What do I do now?
Finally, Nick decided that he’d go first, but, before he’d even opened his mouth, Autumn smacked his arm. Hard.
“Hey!” He rubbed the sore spot. That was not what he’d been expecting from her. “What the hell is wrong with you? You leave without saying goodbye, and, now you’re back, and you’re hitting me?”
“You put our home up for sale!” Autumn fisted her hands on her hips. “How could you?”
Nick frowned. “Don’t pretend like you care. It’s not like you wanted it, anyway. You got the hell out as fast as you could.”
“That’s our home, Nick! For all your big talk about loving me and not wanting to divorce me, you sure changed your mind fast. First, you send me these divorce papers,” she waved an envelope in his face, “and then you put the house up on the market! You’re such a liar.”
“Look who’s talking.”
“I never lied.”
“No, but you never told the truth either.” His eyes narrowed on her face. “Why did you come back, Autumn? You said you were leaving permanently, but here you are. If you don’t care about me, if you don’t love me, then why are you here?”
She spun away and began pacing the sidewalk. Nick wondered if she’d trip in the skinny heels she wore. “I wasn’t going to come back. I wasn’t going to ever see you again. I was doing my best to ignore your existence, even though Lily kept crying for you day in and day out.”
“She did?” Part of that hole in his heart seemed to heal.
“Of course, she did!” Autumn glared at him. “You did your damnedest to get inside her heart, and you won. She doesn’t even want me to sing her to sleep. She wants Daddy to do it. Damn you, Nick.”
He shook his head. “So, you came back for Lily?”
“No! Maybe.” She sighed. “Not completely.” She studied him for a moment. “You bounced back fast from the injuries and the surgeries.”
Nick rubbed a hand over the back of his neck where tension was brewing. He needed her to get to the point. “Yeah, I did. I was pretty weak in the beginning, but I’m back to normal now.”
“Good. That’s good.” She bit her lip nervously. “I really am sorry that you got hurt, Nick.”
“Forget it.”
“How can I? Summer was my sister and Liz was my best friend. Both of them hurt you, and Liz nearly killed you! I put you in their path, Nick!” There were tears glistening in her eyes, and he couldn’t ignore them.
“No, you didn’t.” She was starting to get hysterical, so Nick knew he would have to be the calm one. “Whatever I did, wherever I ended up, it was because I wanted to do it or be there or whatever. None of it was your fault. If you want to blame yourself, blame yourself for being the one I fell in love with. I didn’t expect to ever fall in love, not really, and then there you were. I would’ve done anything for you, and still would.” He waited until her eyes lifted and met his. “If you let me.”
She wanted to jump into his arms and let him make everything be fine again, but she knew it wouldn’t be that easy. When her fingers brushed over the necklace she wore, she took a deep breath. “Nick, can I ask you a question?”
“Okay.”
Autumn felt the blue stone warm between her fingers before she lifted it for Nick to see. “It’s about this necklace.”
He was surprised when he saw it hanging around her neck. She’d kept it, was all he could think. “You still have it?”
“Yeah. Of course. But I wanted to know one thing. Did you know what opals symbolize when you had this made?”
“Yes,” he replied without hesitation.
She nodded. “I thought so. Did you specifically pick this opal for the necklace, knowing that it helps the person who wears it find their way to true love? Is that what you wanted it to do for me?”
Nick didn’t know what to say in response. Would she be angry if he was honest and said yes, or should he just tell her that he’d picked it because it was a cool-looking stone? He figured that, since they were both being honest, he owed her the truth. “Yes. A part of me already knew I was in love with you, and I wanted you to love me back. Are you going to be mad that I tried any way possible to make that happen?”
Autumn was quiet for so long that Nick was afraid that he’d made a huge mistake. What if, after all this, he lost her anyway? Then, she looked up at him, her eyes serious. “I can’t be mad,” she whispered. “I can’t because it worked.”
“What?”
“It worked, Nick.” She looked away from him then, but Nick tipped her chin up to look into her eyes. What he saw in them made his heart swell and dance in his chest.
“I need you to say it, Autumn. Please.”
She couldn’t look away from his eyes and saw the same needs, the same frustrations, the same fears, and the same, well, love that she felt reflected in those eyes. Placing one hand on his heart, which was racing as fast as hers, she took a deep breath. “I thought I did the right thing in leaving you. You’d been hurt because you were helping me, and I thought it would be better if I left. Without me in your life, you’d be fine.” She paused. “But I know now that it’s not true.”
“You shouldn’t have left.”
Autumn nodded. “I know. I came here tonight not knowing exactly what I was going to say to you. I didn’t think we’d end up like this, but…”
Nick lifted his hand to place it over the one on his heart. “Say the words, Autumn.”
“I’m bad at letting people get too close to me, Nick. It’s scary, and it’s why I kept distancing myself from you.”
“I won’t let you do it again. Just tell me.”
She squeezed her eyes close for a moment before looking up into his face again. “You won’t let me get away, will you? Thank god,” she added with a smile. “I love you, Nick. I don’t know when or how it happened, but it did. I’m in love with you, and there’s nothing I want more than to stay with you, grow old with you.” She paused. “If you’ll forgive me.”
“What’s there to forgive?” Nick asked, but her answer was muffled by his lips as they met hers. His arms circled her waist and pulled her close.
Here it was, he thought. This was his little slice of heaven. He had everything he would ever want or need in his arms. Autumn and Lily were his from now on. Both he and Autumn had made so many mistakes in the last year, but no more. They were going to do it right from here on out.
Lifting his lips from hers, he grinned down at her. “I’m so glad you came to your senses.”
She smiled back. “Yeah, me, too. I missed you, Nick. I really did.”
“Don’t leave. Not ever.”
“No, I won’t.” Autumn picked up the envelope containing the divorce papers from where it had fallen by her feet. “Guess we don’t need these anymore, huh?”
Nick looked at the envelope with disgust. “Wanna torch it?”
“Nah.” As he watched, she shredded the envelope and its contents to tiny bits before dumping the pieces in the nearest trash can. “There. All fixed.”
“There’s just one more thing,” he began and pulled out the chain around his neck.
She gasped when she saw her rings dangling from it. “You kept them.”
“Of course, I kept them. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t let you go.” He slipped the rings off the chain and took her hand in his. “Autumn Evans, will you stay married to me?”
She giggled and felt foolish, ridiculous, and oh so ecstatic. “Yes. Absolutely yes!”
Nick slid the rings onto her finger and smiled as they fit into place. “Perfect.” He kissed her again. “Happy Anniversary, baby.”
“Anniversary?” Autumn frowned. “That’s not for another couple months.”
“No, silly.” He slid an arm around her shoulders and began to walk back towards the club. “It’s exactly one year today since we met at the movie premiere. Remember?”
She did, and it touched her that he’d remembered, too. “Oh, Nick. I do. How…perfect.” Then, she rummaged through her purse and pulled out a fabric flower. “Remember this one?”
He took it from her and smiled. “I gave this to you for your first film premiere.”
“Yeah. I always kept it in my bag and took it everywhere. Kinda like a good luck charm.” She smiled again. “You’re my good luck charm, Nick Carter.”
“Good. Because now you’ll never get rid of me.” When he bent his head to kiss her again, though, she slapped a hand to his chest. “What?”
“There’s just one more thing that we should probably talk about,” she told him as she caught sight of a cameraman hiding behind a wall nearby.
Nick frowned. “What is it?”
“I know we both love Lily, and I thought it only fitting that we do something for her, too.” There was a mischievous smile on her lips, and Nick wondered what she was up to.
“Okay. What?”
“I want Lily to have brothers and sisters, Nick,” she said and watched his jaw drop. “I want more children, your children. So, what do you think?”
What did he think? He’d just been offered everything he could’ve ever wanted in his life, Nick thought. A family, a real family. “I think,” he scooped her into his arms, “we should get started on that as fast as we can!”
When his lips met hers again, Nick felt all the puzzle pieces of his life fit into place again. Things were better than perfect, better than he could have ever hoped, and, this time, he had gotten it right.
I want to thank you
For all of the things you’ve done
But most for choosing me
To be the one
It’s funny how life can take new meaning
You came and changed what I believed in
The world on the outside’s trying to pull me in
But they can’t touch me ‘cause
I got you
When they walked back into the club, they were immediately surrounded by anyone and everyone. Questions were tossed at them from all sides, but neither said a word until they’d managed to climb back onstage where Howie, AJ, and Brian still stood. When they saw Nick and Autumn, they hurried over.
“Well,” Brian began, “should we even ask how things went?”
AJ spotted the rings on Autumn’s hand. “Nope.” He grinned. “I’m glad both of you finally got some sense knocked into your heads. It’s about time!”
Autumn blushed as Nick beamed proudly. “Listen, guys,” he began, “could you do me a favor?”
“Sure.” Howie smiled at the way Nick’s arm stayed wrapped around Autumn’s waist. “What’s up?”
Nick looked down at Autumn. “Why don’t you go hang with Leighanne and Leigh? I have something important I need to do with the guys.”
“Okay,” she said, trying to figure out what he was up to. “Sure. I should check on Lily, anyway.”
When Autumn was out of earshot, Nick turned back to his friends. “I need your help.”
The first strummed notes of the guitar silenced the room, and Autumn turned from Leigh to see the stage. Nick sat on a stool in the middle of the stage, his fingers gliding over the guitar strings, while AJ, Brian, and Howie stood behind him. When his eyes met hers, he smiled.
“A lot of people were asking what happened earlier,” Nick began. “I hope this song will answer it for you.”
As he began to sing, Autumn recognized the song immediately. It was one of her favorite songs from his solo album, and his heartfelt singing brought tears to her eyes. This, she realized, was what she’d been looking for all along. Someone who would make her feel just like this. Cradling Lily in her arms, she watched her husband, the love of her life, sing to her in front of everyone.
And it hits me when I reach for you
That I’m afraid you won’t be there
Maybe I am in too deep
But I don’t care
I’m right where I belong
I got you
And I will prove them wrong
I got you
You can’t deny what’s true, no
They can’t touch me
‘Cause I’ve got you
Nick grinned at the applause that exploded when he’d finished and watched as Autumn was crushed by a sea of well-wishers. When her eyes met his through everyone around her, he smiled and lifted the mic one last time.
“Autumn, they said it wouldn’t work out between us, but what do they know?” The smile on his face was brilliant and matched hers. “We definitely proved them wrong.”
Lyrics from “Any Other Way” Backstreet Boys and “I Got You” Nick Carter
The End. AN: Some of you are so pessimistic LOL I love fairytale endings! I'm surprised so many of you thought this would end with Autumn and Nick being apart...Silliness LOL I hope this was the ending everyone was hoping for! Thanks for reading and enjoying!
Author's Chapter Notes:
Ta-DA! We have finally made it to the ending of the Nick and Autumn saga! Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, and enjoyed this story. It has come as far as it has because you all believed in it and pushed me to finish it. So, thank YOU. And now, without further delay, I present...The Ending.
