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Jo was chilling in her hotel room in New York waiting for Alex to come join her. She had the baby watch on, in case Baylee was to wake up in Brian and Leighanne’s room. He rarely did, but she used the monitor anyways, she liked to hear his snuffling breaths. Her TV was on, and she was flipping through the channels, a large latte in front of her from the hotel coffee shop, and eating little bites of a biscotti. It was a perfect way to spend a Monday night. The Boys had done eight shows in ten days, and now had two days off. Brian and his wife had decided to go out for a romantic dinner, Kev and Kristin hadn’t been out of their hotel room all day, Howie was out with some of his friends, and Jo could only guess that Nick was on the phone trying to convince Lina she should come to Buffalo on Thursday. Alex had spent his day with her, once again shopping, or at least window shopping. Since all of their concerts, from Wednesday forward, had been in the New York area, they had chose to use their tour bus as transportation to the venues and back to the hotel. Baylee had been their primary reason. As Brian had said, he was a child, and children shouldn’t sleep in tour buses unless absolutely necessary. Jo was happy about that. More space, comfier beds and room service. 'Could life be any better?' she thought to herself. Then Alex knocked the door, stepping in without waiting for her to answer it, fresh out of the shower. 'Obviously it could.' She thought, letting out a giggle.

“What now? Oh, no, did I forget to put on clothes again?” he said jokingly, covering his denim-clad crotch with his hands.

“Oh, nothing... Just glad you’re back.” She answered him, still giggling.

“Yeah, I’ve been gone for like what? Twenty minutes? You get me any coffee?”

“Yup. Right there.” She pointed at the table next to the door. He got out the cup, took a sip of too hot coffee, burning his lip.

“What the fuck... Ouch! You could have warned me it was hot.”

“Yeah. Or maybe you could have figured that one out yourself. Coffee usually is hot, yaknow...”

“Don’t be little miss smarty-pants with me.” He laughed, throwing himself on the couch, his head in her lap, sticking out his lower lip so she could kiss it and make it better.

She kissed him, then stuck a biscotti between his lips.

“Aw, thanks... Mmm, good...” He said in a muffled voice, spraying out cookie crumbs.

“Nice one there, McLean.” Jo brushed the crumbs off of his sweater. “So, wanna watch a movie?”


Halfway through the movie, there was a knock on the door. Alex answered it. Outside was Brian, just wanting to tell Jo that they were back from dinner. She handed him the baby watch, then snuggled up next to Alex, and they watched the rest of the movie. As the credits were rolling he turned towards her.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something for awhile...” He paused.

“Ok?”

“Well, all the times we’ve been out to clubs and stuff... You haven’t been drinking. And you told me it wasn’t because of me. Why is it?”

Jo sighed “Long story.”

“Tell me.” He lightly ran his fingers through her hair.

“Well, me and Lina, and some of our other friends used to be out a lot. We partied hard, drinking and dancing on tables and all that. Every weekend, usually both Friday and Saturday. We were known as the party girls. I had Andy, and for the last years, Lina had Dan, so we were not quite as bad as the others, they usually ended up in different beds every night and so on. We had a lot of fun, but we had to pay the price too.”

“Well, most of the time, that’s where you end up. Having to pay, I mean. What happened?”

“We were out, all pretty smashed. We’d been to a party at Sarah’s, Dan’s sister, and were going to a club. Everything was fine, we danced, drank. Tequila, mostly. One of my friends, Emma, had met this really cute guy, and they were making out in a corner. Next thing I know, she taps me on the shoulder, I was at the bar waiting for my drink, and she tells me she’s leaving with this guy. He was with her when she said goodbye to me, he introduced himself, and he seemed so nice. So nice.”

Tears welled up in her eyes, but she wiped them away. Alex was stroking her arm, encouraging her to keep going.

“She gave me a hug, promised me to call the next day. She didn’t. Turns out this guy had spiked her drink. She didn’t like tequila, so she had cocktails instead.” Jo was sobbing now, long, hard sobs, and tears were falling down her cheeks. Alex just pulled her close, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

“Emma... died in his apartment that night. He had sex with her, then her heart just stopped beating. Her body couldn’t handle the drugs and the alcohol, so she died. He raped her and killed her. Oh my god...”

“Oh, Jo, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. That’s terrible. Did they catch him?”

“They did. Emma’s parents called me the next evening, said she wasn’t home yet, asked me if I knew where she was. I told them what I knew, that she’d gone with this guy, told them his name. They called the police, and the police went to his apartment. He wasn’t there, but they saw something through the window. Emma’s top. They broke into the apartment, and found her dead. The guy wasn’t there, but they found him later that night. He’d panicked, ran away. But the cops found the same drug in his apartment and Emma’s body, so he confessed. Said he didn’t mean to kill her. That bastard. He spiked her drink, so she’d agree to do more stuff in bed with him, then happens to kill her. Fucking IDIOT! He got sentenced to lifetime in jail, but in Sweden that means like 25 years tops, and if you behave, you get out after two thirds of that time.” Jo wiped the tears off her face.

“He should be in there for life, then rot in hell. Oh, Jo...”

“One lifetime is not enough. Not for what he did to her. Five lifetimes aren’t enough.”

“You’re right. Come on, hun. It’s late. Let’s go to bed, if you want, we can talk some more, or we can sleep.”

“Yeah. Let’s go to bed.”

He took her hand, leading her into the bathroom.


As they lay in bed, Alex holding Jo in his arms, he asked her:“How long ago was this?”

“It will be two years in October.”

“How do you feel about not being home then?”

“It’s ok, I guess. Last year we all met at her grave, lighting candles and sung her favourite songs to her. It was really beautiful. But I guess you have to move on. I still love her, and in my heart, I know she’s with me, always.”

“I bet she is.”

Exhausted from all the crying, Jo drifted off to sleep. Alex on the other hand, lay staring into the dark for a long time before he fell asleep.


The next day was rainy, so everyone was snuggled up in the hotel, watching movies and playing with Baylee Jo looked around the living room of Brian and Leigh’s suite, astonished that they were all there, except for Kevin and Kristin. There was still no sign of them coming out of the hotel room any time soon. Jo sat down next to Nick on the couch.

“You ok, Nick?”

“Yeah. I just miss her. I hope she’s coming to Buffalo.”

Jo put her arm around him. “I’m sure she will. Don’t worry, ok? She loves you.”

“I love her, too. It’s just... It’s just difficult, to be out like this and not having her with me.”

“I understand. I miss her like crazy, you know.”

“Yeah, me too.” He sighed.

“Where’s Kev hiding, by the way?”

“Oh, they’re... practising.”

“Practising what?” Jo was confused.

Nick pointed at Baylee. “They wanna have little Backstreet babies.”

“Oh.” Jo laughed. “I see. Well, if they’re all cute like Baylee, who can blame them?”


That evening, they packed into the tour bus that was going to take them all to Detroit. Jo lay in her bunk, thinking about Lina, and how weird things had been the last time they’d seen each other. She knew she’d been snapping at her friend, but she couldn’t help it. She felt rejected and abandoned. But she knew Lina, knew how wrapped up in her emotions she could get, and that was probably the explanation this time, too. But still. She missed her friend, wanted to talk to her, even when Nick was around. 'I really need her by my side,' was Jo’s last conscious thought before she fell asleep.