Chapter 5
"Hello Kevin." Jenn said as she opened the door to her apartment.
"I hope I'm not too late." Kevin said as he stepped inside holding a bottle of wine.
Jenn closed the door behind him, "No, it's fine. Dinner's gonna be ready in about 10 minutes, you can help me set the table."
Kevin nodded to her as he followed her into the kitchen. "This is one of my best bottles of wine, I really hope you like it." He placed the bottle down on the counter and opened the cabinet pulling out two plates.
Jenn had positioned herself in front of the stove and continued stirring their dinner. "I'm sure it will be just fine. The placemats are over there." Jenn pointed in the direction of the china hutch.
"Thanks."
The room was filled with silence as Jenn finished cooking, and then brought it over to the table. Kevin poured the wine as she placed the shrimp linguine onto their plates.
"This looks just wonderful." Kevin stated as he made his way over and pulled Jenn's chair out for her.
Jenn carefully sat down and watched as he took his own seat. "It smells wonderful, I got the recipe from one of my moms cookbooks."
"Well then I'm sure it will be one of the best meals I have ever had." Kevin reached over and lifted his glass, "A toast," he waited till Jenn had also raised her glass before he continued. "A toast to a wonderful dinner, and what promises to be a special evening."
Jenn brought her glass to his as a small blush spread across her cheeks. She was afraid that Kevin had higher expectations for this night than she did.
****
A little over an hour later, Jenn and Kevin were resting on the couch as a movie played. Kevin couldn't believe how much he had fallen for this woman that was trying so hard to push him away. The mysteriousness that she possessed only seemed to draw him to her more. He wanted to know her story, share her story, and become a part of her story.
He had tried talking to her about it many times, and she always had her ways of dodging her past. Tonight though, he was gonna do his best to make her feel comfortable around him. He hoped that the bit of wine they had shared at dinner would help free her up some.
As the movie came to an end he decided that this was his best chance, "Jenn, do you think we could talk?"
Jenn stiffened at these words. To her, these words meant she would be allowing a man back into her life. Not that she hadn't already, but this would cause her to bring her gates down. She wasn't so sure she was ready for that yet, but she decided to see where he was going with this. "Sure, we can talk."
Kevin felt some weight lift from his chest as she said this, he just hoped that it would continue in this direction. "Well, I've known you for about 3 months now. I'm pretty sure you know that I have been wanting to start something up with you. So I was just thinking maybe you could tell me a little more about yourself or something."
"Well...umm..." Jenn began. "Not too much to really talk about. Sara and I moved down here a few months ago..." She finished with a shrug.
Kevin let out a small sigh, "Well, I know all that. But, I was wondering about stuff before then, like what brought you here."
Jenn tried not to let the fear show in her eyes as memories of why she was here ran through her mind. "That....really doesn’t matter."
Kevin than realized that she wasn't going to talk at this moment as he saw her beginning to tug a bit at the scarf around her neck. He had noticed in the few months he had known her, that when she got nervous she would pull at it. That was one of the things that he wondered about this woman, was why she wore that scarf all the time. Maybe for another day...
"It's fine if you don't wanna talk about it now. I mean, you really don't even know me that well." He said as he moved a bit closer to her.
Jenn decided to take this opportunity as a chance to keep the focus off of her, "Well then, why don't you tell me about yourself then. I'd like to get to know you better Mr. Richardson." She reached over and re filled her wine glass.
Kevin smiled a bit, "Do you want the chick magazine version, or my true full version?"
Jenn couldn't help but smile a bit too, "As fascinating as the chick mag version is, I'd much rather get to know the real you."
"Well it all started in Kentucky...."
About and hour later Kevin was finishing his life story as Jenn finished off the bottle of wine. They both giggled a bit as Kevin pulled her all the way against him.
"So now you know how much of a hick I am." Kevin said at the end of his story.
"Well, you are very country. But I'm not much better off being from Tennessee." Jenn replied.
Kevin's ears perked up a bit at that statement. She had told him where she was from, he hoped for her to keep going. "So you're from Tennessee, I don't hear much of an accent on you."
"Well...that's because I moved to New York like...6 years ago. I blend in well..."
"Yeah, that‘s right. You said that You went to NYU, right?" He asked and was responded by with a nod. "I love the city, I can't believe you would want to move down here from there."
Jenn's eyes suddenly darkened, the happy feeling that filled her body now beginning to fade. "We had our reasons..."
Kevin felt the mood in the room darken and realized that this was the thing that she was hiding, quickly he decided to change the subject. He put his finger beneath her chin and turned her head up to his. "I hope you don't mind, but ever since our first kiss, I've been dying to do it again."
Jenn suddenly felt Kevin's lips upon hers, and was surprised in herself that she didn't pull away. Somewhere deep down inside, she felt a small twinge of fear, but the feeling of want overpowered it. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him closer.
Kevin was a bit shocked when she pulled him closer, that was the last thing he was expecting. Leaning more into her, his hands settled onto her waist. Too soon though, he pulled away, the need for air drawing them apart.
Jenn blinked a few times, contemplating what she should do next, and where this was heading. She knew that her intake of wine was impairing her judgment some, but at this point, it didn't matter. "Kevin I..."
"I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have done that." Kevin said quickly, thinking she was regretting kissing him.
"You have no idea how happy I am that you did that." Jenn then practically flung herself on him as she placed her lips to his again.
Falling back, Kevin laid down on the couch, his hands now moving up from her waist. They continued on, and quickly Kevin’s hands had reached her shoulders and began to play with the ends of her scarf.
Jenn was so caught up in her bliss that she hadn't even realized that Kevin was beginning to untie the scarf around her neck. It wasn't until the scarf found itself floating to the ground, and the sound of Kevin gasping, did she snap out of her love induced trance.
"Oh GOD!" Jenn cried out as she saw Kevin's eyes fixated on her neck, the scars on her neck.
Kevin hadn't meant to make that kind of sound, it just came out on its own and now he was about to regret it all. "Jenn...I...I..."
"GET OUT!!" Jenn yelled scooping up her scarf and holding it up to cover her exposed scars.
"I didn't..."
"DAMNIT....I said GET...OUT!!!" Jenn began pushing him towards the door, tears beginning to stream down her face.
"I'm sorry, please..." Kevin stumbled as he was shoved out of the apartment.
"Don't even! You'll never understand..." Jenn said with sadness edging her voice. She didn't even give him the chance to respond as she slammed the door shut and quickly ran to her bedroom.
Kevin placed his body against the door as he exhaled sharply. "I sure fucked that up." He couldn't believe he had reacted in such a manner, and he felt like an ass for it. He was just shocked over the fact that she was hiding a scar that went clear across her neck. And even though he felt like he had done the most awful thing possible to her, he knew that it was really the person that had hurt her in such a way. He couldn't help but want to kill that person.
After waiting about five minutes in hope that she would return to the door and accept his apology, he let out a loud sigh and turned to leave. That's when he realized that his keys were in her kitchen, near where he had placed the bottle of wine.
Knocking for a few minutes didn't bring Jenn to the door. With a sigh Kevin made his way back into the kitchen to find his keys. He quickly retrieved them, but as he was making his way back to the front door a sound caused him to stop. Jenn's sob that echoed from her bedroom nearly caused Kevin's heart to break. It was because of him that she was so upset, and now he didn't want to leave her.
Spinning back around Kevin headed to Jenn's room. What he was gonna do once he reached her door, he wasn't sure. But he knew that he couldn't just leave her alone. Slowly he brought his hand up to her door and knocked.
A few minutes of silence followed and that's when he slowly pushed her door open. "Jenn?" He softly called out as he stepped inside.
"Go away..." Came a quiet voice.
Kevin took a few more steps so that he was up against her bed. Jenn lay curled up, knees pulled to her chest. "I'm here to apologize...I...I'm an ass."
"It's too late..." Jenn's broken voice answered.
"It's not too late...I...I just wasn't expecting you to be..."
"A monster."
Kevin's face filled with shock, "That's not what I was gonna say..."
"It's ok, because that's what I am...and...I was stupid to think that you or anyone else would think differently." Jenn said in an eerie whisper.
"I can't believe that you would think I was that shallow Jennifer. I just wish you would've shared this with me, then this wouldn't have happened."
"Well, you know now..." She said slowly.
Kevin sat down onto the bed with a sigh. "No, that's where you're wrong. I don't know, but I would like to know."
Jenn shook her head, "No, you don't need to know, yo...you should just leave." Jenn held her eyes closed tight as tears still continued to fall.
Kevin quickly stood up, "Why?! Why should I leave, I messed this up, and I need to fix it."
"You can't fix me..."
Kevin let our an aggregated breath as he began to pace the room. And that's when he noticed it, the razorblade on her nightstand. Quickly scooping it up he began to get angry. "WHAT WERE YOU GONNA DO WITH THIS?!"
Jenn's red eyes snapped open as did her mouth, but no words came out.
"That's what I thought!" Kevin said as he threw the razorblade to the wall. "Why? Why would you want to do this?! Damnit, I LOVE YOU!"
"You...you what?" Jenn said breathing hard.
Kevin ran his hands down his face, "I...I love you." He hadn't expected that to be what came out of his mouth. But when he said it the second time, he knew it was the truth. "I love you Jenn."
More tears fell from Jenn's eyes at those words, "I think I love you too." As Kevin smiled down on her she felt a sharp pain in her midsection and let out a gasp. "Oh God...what have I done..."
Kevin looked at her in confusion and watched as her eyes rolled back. "Jenn?" As her body began to shake, only then did he notice the empty pill bottle as it fell from her hand.
***
"This is all my fault." Kevin cried into his hands at the hospital.
"You shouldn't blame yourself." Brian said to Kevin as Sara cried on his shoulder.
"You don't know what happened! So don't even try that..." Kevin snapped.
Sara let out a sniffle, "Kev, it's not your fault, this...this isn't the first time."
"You mean she's tried this before?"
"Never tried, but has had thoughts...I...I should've seen this coming though." She let out a sigh and shook her head.
Brian pulled her close for comfort, "She's gonna be fine..."
Kevin just shook his head, "You didn't see her. She...she was dying...in my arms." He let out a choked sob.
"Oh God!" Sara cried out at the thought.
"Shhh..." Brian said as he kissed her forehead.
The door opening caused them all to quickly look up at the doctor as she entered the room.
"Are any of you family for Jennifer Smith?"
Sara quickly stood up. "I'm her sister. Please Doctor, is she ok?"
The doctor quickly shook Sara's hand, "I'm Doctor Lewis. I would like to ask you a few questions. Would you like to talk privately or are these two gentlemen ok to talk in front of?"
Sara bit her lip, she wasn't sure she could do this on her own, and she really didn't want Brian and Kevin to find out this way. Swallowing she nodded, "They can stay."
Dr. Lewis nodded and motioned for Sara to take a seat. "First off, I want to let you all know that Jennifer arrived here just in time. She swallowed about 20 migraine pills, but we managed to get most of them out of her system. She should make a full recovery."
Kevin let out a sigh of relief while Sara let a few tears fall.
"Once she regains consciousness we are going to have to keep her here for a 48 hour phyc evaluation. But I need to ask you a few questions first."
Sara nodded as she bit her lip.
"We noticed a great deal of scaring, were those self inflicted?"
Sara felt all three sets of eyes focused on her, "Umm, no they weren't."
The doctor continued, "The only reason I ask is because we couldn't find a record on her and we need to chart the reasons before her evaluation."
A few more tears found their way down her face, "Well...she um...we were attacked over a year ago. We...we don't go by the same names anymore, that's why she doesn't have a record." She heard small gasps from the two men.
Noticing their reactions, the doctor decided she had enough information for now. "That's enough for now, I will come back shortly with an update."
"Thanks..." Sara said as she watched the doctor leave. She knew that she needed to tell them the truth about their past. She didn't even wait for them to ask.
***
..."It was about a year and a half ago. Jenn and I were living in New York, going to school." Sara could already feel the tears forming in her eyes. "I really don't remember it though...but Jenn does."
"You really don't have to do this right now." Brian said as he rubbed circles over her back.
"Ya'll need to know, it wouldn't be fair of me to stop now." After taking a shaky breath she continued, "We were dating these two guys, an we...we...we saw them....kill someone." Sara finished in a near whisper as she shook a little.
"Oh baby..." Brian said as he began to rock her a little.
Tears now streaked her face, "We went straight to the police. They said they would take care of it. Then a few hours later...Jenn and I were trying to get our minds off of what we saw. We were going to watch a movie...I went to make some popcorn...the doorbell rang...and....and I don't remember anything after that."
"But Jenn remembers it though...it's like she lives it everyday. She won't talk to me about it...but I've read the police reports. I'm glad I don't remember...but that's why I get those...um...flashes." Sara gulped.
Brian answered her with a nod, tears now running down his face as well.
Then Kevin spoke up for the first time since the doctor had shown up, "And that's...how she got...all those..."
Sara nodded, "It took me 3 weeks before I woke up at the hospital, and her another 2. I woke up scared and alone, then I was told that we had been placed under police protection. The world, our families, thought we were missing. The officer told me that our names had been changed, and we would be relocated."
"Jenn still hadn't woken up, and all this being thrown at me was a bit overwhelming. So I just told him to do whatever was best. Jenn was confused when she first woke up. Her voice...was all messed up, she didn't understand what was going on." Sara's voice held a quiver.
"What did those guys do to you two?" Brian couldn’t help but ask.
Sara ran a hand thru her hair, "Well...umm...like I said...I don't remember...but...I...I was shot...right here..." She said pointing to her chest. "They had to operate...I almost didn't make it." She bit her lip.
"But you're here now...you made it..." Brian soothed.
"Jenn...God Jenn...I don't know why they did to her what they did. Sometimes...I can hear her screams..." Tears fell even harder. "That's really all I remember, her screaming...they...they said I called 911...I don’t know how..."
Kevin was now pacing the room, he couldn't even imagine going through what they had.
"Anyway, about a month afterwards, we were relocated down here to Florida. Jenn stayed in the hospital for a few more weeks, while I got us set up in the Witness Protection Program. When Jenn got released we moved into our apartment. It was almost a month before I was able to get Jenn to leave. She had a hard time dealing with her scars. That's when her suicidal thoughts started."
Kevin let out a sob, "Damn, I caused this. She'll never forgive me."
Sara pulled out from Brian's hold and stood next to Kevin, grabbing his hands. "She will forgive you, because, it's not your fault. We just need to be strong for her, and help her through this. Do you believe me?"
Kevin cried harder as he pulled Sara into a hug, "I believe you...I believe you."
***
"You were so strong today." Brian said later that night as they lay in bed.
Sara let out a sigh, "I was almost afraid it would freak you out and you would leave."
Brian softly kissed her forehead, "If anything, it made me want to get closer to you. I got an overwhelming urge to protect you even more than I already do."
"Aww, you wanna protect me." Sara smiled.
"Well yeah, I know we've only known each other for a few months, but I really hope that there can be more to us."
Sara swallowed, "What do you mean?"
Brian sat up and turned on the light, "I know I've told you that I love you a lot, and now, I'd really like to show you just how much I love you."
"Oh Bri..." Sara gently pulled his face to hers placing her lips onto his softly.
Brian slowly began to unbutton her nightgown. Her hands clasped ontop of his suddenly stopped him though. "What's wrong?"
Sara bit her lip, "I...I umm...have scars too."
Brian nodded then leaned in to lightly kiss her neck. "It's alright..." As he felt her hands fall away, he parted her top and for the first time gazed upon her chest.
Sara found it odd when he smiled, she gave him a confused look as he reached to pull his own shirt off.
"Look! We match!" Brian stated as he placed her hand on his own scar.
Sara let out a laugh. "How do you always make me laugh?"
"Well, for my sake, I hope you don't laugh anymore tonight." Brian said, then followed with a passionate kiss. Tonight, all thoughts of the past would be forgotten as these two began their future.
