[ - ]
Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story Microsoft Word Chapter or Story
- Text Size +
Chapter 107

Nick’s high after the concert that night was incredible, as was his high after the next night’s concert and the concert after that. He left the stage each night tired, yet invigorated, pumped up by each audience’s unfailing energy and the realization that Backstreet was finally, truly back, back to what they loved doing – not just recording music, but performing it as well. And he, Nick Carter, was right there with them.

As the tour fell into full swing, his own self-doubts faded rapidly, and a confidence he had not possessed in a long time returned. On stage, he felt comfortable, embraced by the love and support of the fans like a pair of warm arms. And he had the real things too – warm arms, that was. Veronica’s pair found their way around him every night, whether they were cuddled together at the back of a rolling tour bus or in a comfortable hotel bed.

Nick was glad she was able to tour with them. Mary was now the co-manager of the deli at which they both worked, and she had arranged it so that she and Veronica would both have plenty of time off to tour with the Boys and still have their jobs when they returned. Nick was grateful to have someone along who he knew really wanted to be there and would put him first. Unlike a certain last girlfriend, Nick thought darkly, his stomach flip-flopping as he watched a green road sign for Tampa flash by out his bus window.

He was almost home. Tonight he would hang out with Veronica in the comforts of his own house, and tomorrow night, he would be playing Tampa’s Ford Amphitheatre with the guys. He’d wanted that certain last girlfriend of his to be there… but no, she was probably miles away in the Midwest by now, just as she had been the last time the guys had performed in Tampa. With Jamie, he added internally, sneering out the window.

Why did he even care? he wondered. Claire obviously didn’t, and neither should he. He realized this, and yet, as the bus took the ramp off the interstate and drove into Tampa’s city limits, he couldn’t help but sit and brood.

***

Claire swallowed a sigh as she glanced up at the clock in her cubicle at work the following afternoon. 2:45. She only had fifteen minutes to go until she got off for the day, but each one seemed to last an eternity. She couldn’t keep herself from looking up from her patient every few seconds to check the clock, charting the thin red hand’s sluggish progression around its face. The phrase “a watched pot never boils” applied perfectly.

Usually work passed quickly for her; unless a patient didn’t show up, she was always busy, which she enjoyed. She liked her job. But today… ugh. Today, she couldn’t wait for 3:00 to arrive so she and Laureen could blow the place. Today – or tonight, rather – the two of them would be going to Tampa’s Ford Amphitheatre to surprise Nick, who would be there with the Boys, live and in concert. It would be Laureen’s sixth Backstreet Boys concert and Claire’s first. And for someone who, until she’d fallen in love with Nick Carter, had never so much as given the Backstreet Boys the time of day, Claire found herself incredibly excited.

She hadn’t realized how much so until this morning, when she’d jumped out of bed a minute before her alarm went off, totally alert after only a few hours of sleep. The butterflies in her stomach had been just as energized, and they’d fluttered their wings every time she’d thought of Nick all day… which, she realized, had started out as an average of once every ten minutes and grown exponentially as the day progressed. Now she was thinking of the concert that night once every ten seconds, just as often as she kept looking at the clock.

Luckily, her patient didn’t seem to notice. The college-aged girl had been quiet for most of her appointment, despite Claire’s attempts to spark a conversation. Talking to the patients made her work more interesting and seemed to make the time go faster. Time definitely needed speeding up right now, but it looked like a no-go.

“Alright, we’re just about finished here, Jodie,” Claire said as she stripped off her latex gloves. “I’ll send Dr. Pantero in for a quick check.”

Jodie nodded her head, and Claire left the room. “Tim? Jodie in 3 is ready to be seen when you have a minute.”

Tim gave an efficient nod. “Sure. I’ll get to her in just a few so you can finish up and get out of here. Got a concert to catch, eh?” He flashed her his usual goofy, cock-eyed grin, and she smiled back.

“You know it. Gotta go home and practice, make sure I can sing all the words to ‘I Want It That Way’,” she joked.

“Everyone knows all the words to ‘I Want It That Way’,” scoffed Tim. “Just don’t sing too loud, okay, C? You might throw off their perfect harmonies.”

Checking quickly to make sure there was no one else in the hall, Claire discreetly scratched at her forehead with her middle finger, smirking at her ex, who, even in the short time they’d seen each other, had apparently discovered she couldn’t sing a note.

“Well, hope you and Laureen have a good time. Give Nick my best,” Tim said kindly before nodding once more at her and disappearing into the cubicle across the hall, which was Laureen’s. Claire smiled after him, then went to wash her hands.

Laureen was coming out of the bathroom when Claire got there. As soon as she spotted her, Laureen broke into a wide, excited grin. “Almost time to go!” she sang under her breath, doing a little dance in the hallway. “Ahh, I can’t wait!”

“Me neither! I hope Tim hurries up so we can send our patients on their way, clean up, and blow this join,” Claire prayed. Laureen nodded emphatically. They both smiled when they saw Tim walk out of Laureen’s cubicle and across the hall to Claire’s a few minutes later.

“I’m gonna go do just that. See you in a few,” said Laureen, touching Claire’s shoulder before she hurried back down to her room.

Claire took her time washing her hands, and by the time she came back to her own room, Tim was just coming out. “Everything good?” she asked him.

“Just fine,” he nodded.

“Awesome. Thanks,” Claire said, relieved that she hadn’t missed something when she’d been cleaning her patient’s teeth earlier. “I’m off tomorrow, but I’ll see ya Friday.”

“Yep. See ya.”

They parted ways, as Claire bustled back into her cubicle. As she was fishing out a free toothbrush for Jodie, the young woman asked, “So I don’t have any cavities?”

“Nope. You’re all clear,” Claire replied brightly, snatching a purple-handled brush from the bin. “Here you go,” she added as she handed it to her. “Remember to brush lightly so your gums don’t get inflamed.”

Jodie nodded distantly. “They don’t, like, sell Novocain, do they? Like, by prescription or something?”

“Um… no,” Claire said slowly, frowning. “They really only give it in dentist’s offices or hospitals. Why do you ask?”

The girl shrugged. “I had a cavity filled a couple years ago, and my mouth was numb, like, all day, and it made eating feel so weird that I didn’t want to… which is rare for me. I gummed down one of those SlimFast snack bars, and it took me so long that it actually filled me up, and then I wasn’t hungry the rest of the day. It was so awesome. I was thinking I could totally lose weight if I was on Novocain.”

Claire blinked, fighting hard to keep a straight face. “Well, Jodie, I… I don’t think that’s probably the best way to go about losing weight. If you want to drop a few pounds, there are some great exercise classes offered at the rec center. I just started doing yoga there on Saturday mornings a few months ago, and I really like it,” she offered with a shrug.

Jodie nodded shortly and got out of the dental chair. “Well, thanks,” she said, dropping her toothbrush into her purse, and then walked out. Claire stared after her for a few seconds, then shook her head and turned to hurriedly start cleaning up her space.

Promptly at 2:59, she made her way to the break room, where Laureen and another of the hygienists were sitting. Laureen already had her purse over one shoulder and was fidgeting in her chair, her car keys jingling in her hand. She smiled brightly when Claire came in, and Claire returned the smile, reaching for her timecard. As she slipped it into the clock to punch out, she asked, “Have either of you ever heard of anyone being a Novocain addict?”

The weird looks the two hygienists gave her were nearly identical.

***

Nick was in an unusually foul mood at soundcheck that afternoon. Usually he and the guys used the time as an opportunity to goof off onstage, before they had to crack down and be reasonably disciplined at concert time – follow the proper cues, perform the synchronized choreography, deliver their rehearsed lines. Soundcheck was fun because they could forget all of that and just sing. Sing and joke around enough to keep the scattered few who were allowed to come and watch entertained.

But Nick hadn’t been in much of a joking mood all day. It was as if he’d woken up on the wrong side of the bed that morning, even though the bed had been his very own, at his house in Tampa, and he and Veronica had slept in it together as they’d been doing all tour. He didn’t realize what was really wrong until she pointed it out, following the less-than-stellar soundcheck.

“Is it Claire?” Veronica asked quietly, giving him a solemn look. “Are you still upset that she’s not coming? That she’s out of state with her boyfriend?”

It clicked in him right then; she’d hit the nail on the head. He had been thinking of Claire ever since they’d left the last city for Tampa, but he hadn’t realized how much it was really affecting him, this resentment towards her for putting Jamie ahead of him once again. Usually he could store his worries and stresses in the far depths of his mind while he was onstage, forgetting them until after the performance was over. But restless thoughts of Claire had been lingering in his subconscious the entire day.

Stop it, he chided himself internally. You have to quit thinking of her. She’s not coming; deal with it. Just concentrate on putting on a good show for your hometown tonight.

Veronica watched him carefully, and when he didn’t answer her out loud, she nodded. “That’s what I thought.”

Knowing she was right, Nick didn’t even try to deny it. He felt his cheeks start to warm up, and he avoided Veronica’s eyes.

“Can I be honest for a minute?” Veronica went on. There was some tentativeness her voice, but when he still didn’t say anything, she did. “You’re a bonehead if you expected the same woman who moved out of your house without telling you and left you a note to find to come to your concert instead of going on a trip with her boyfriend. I know I don’t know her, but the way I see it, Claire is nothing but a huge doughhead! She’s bogus! I don’t know why you keep dwelling on her, because she’s not worth your time of day! She obviously wasn’t right for you because she chose someone else. Why would you even want her here after everything she did to you, the dillweed!”

Nick was mildly startled by Veronica’s rare outburst. She wasn’t shouting at him, but her voice was unusually sharp, and words like “doughhead” and “dillweed” were harsh insults in her book.

“I don’t know,” he confessed finally. “Maybe I was stupid to expect more out of her, but… I did. Believe me, I’ve accepted the fact that we’re not together anymore, but I thought we were friends. We were friends before we were ever involved with each other, and she’s been saying for months that she still wants to be friends. I just thought she’d make an effort to be here tonight… as a friend. She knows this is important to me.” He raked a hand back through his hair and sighed, wondering for the infinite time where he and Claire had gone so wrong. How could they have lost the bond they’d once shared to the point that she wouldn’t even make it a point to go to one of his concerts?

She had an excuse, of course – she always had an excuse. And almost always, that excuse was Jamie. Nick found himself disliking the guy more than ever, resenting him for keeping Claire away. He’d really wanted her to be there that night, almost the way he’d always wanted his mother to be in the audience when he’d done plays as a child. He’d craved not just the attention, but the approval. In that respect, he hadn’t changed much since childhood. He could lavish in the attention and adoration of thousands of fan, yet still yearn for the approval of a person he cared about more than almost anyone. He wanted to impress her; he wanted her to be proud of him. But yet again, Claire would not be there. He’d be singing to a crowd of nameless faces yet again.

“Well, so do I. I know how important this is to you. I’m here,” Veronica said, grabbing his arm and giving it a little squeeze.

He smiled down at her and put his arm around her. And Veronica, he added, picturing her face smiling up at him from a row near the stage on one side. Veronica was always there.

“Yo, Nick! V! Food’s here; c’mon and eat!” called AJ, and they both looked over to see him motioning wildly from the doorway that led backstage.

Nick glanced down at Veronica. “You ready to eat?” he asked.

“Yeah. Come on.” Taking his hand, she walked alongside him as they made their way to the backstage quarters, where the catering spread had been set up.

As she passed through the doorway ahead of him, Nick studied Veronica from behind. He watched the way she slapped AJ a high five when he held up his hand and smiled at Brian’s usual goofy antics. The guys all seemed to like Veronica and were happy to have her on tour. Nick was glad too; she was always there, and he appreciated the company.

Yet somehow, whether he was playing video games with the guys on the bus or crooning romantic lyrics to the squealing rows of girls at his concerts, he sometimes seemed to forget.

And what made it worse was that Claire was never far from his mind.


I just remembered that time at the market
Snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
And rode down Aisle 5
You looked behind you to smile back at me
Crashed into a rack full of magazines
They asked us if we could leave

Can’t remember what went wrong last September
Though I’m sure you’d remind me if you had to

Our love was comfortable and so broken in…

I sleep with this new girl I’m still getting used to
My friends all approve, say “she’s gonna be good for you”
They throw me high fives
She says the Bible is all that she reads
And prefers that I not use profanity
Your mouth was so dirty

Life of the party, and she swears that she’s artsy
But you could distinguish Miles from Coltrane

Our love was comfortable and so broken in
She’s perfect, so flawless… or so they say

She thinks I can’t see the smile that she’s faking
And poses for pictures that aren’t being taken
I loved you…
Gray sweat pants…
No makeup…
So perfect

Our love was comfortable and so broken in
She’s perfect, so flawless… I’m not impressed
I want you back

- “Comfortable” by John Mayer


***