[ - ]
Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story Microsoft Word Chapter or Story
- Text Size +
Chapter 111

What a night, thought Nick as he perched on the edge of his bed, exhausted. The concert itself had been physically taxing, but all of the drama afterwards had drained him emotionally, and that was almost worse. His girlfriend and his ex-fiancée in the same house… Mary and Claire hurling sarcastic comments at each other… Kevin trying to police the whole thing… Laureen watching on from a fan’s eyes… and there Nick had been, in the middle of it all, not sure what to say or whom to defend.

In a way, he’d almost appreciated Mary for sticking up for him… but she’d gone too far. He didn’t need anyone to fight his battles, especially not against Claire. He didn’t want to fight with Claire, and he didn’t want to see his friends fighting with her either. But at the same time, he admired Claire for sticking up for herself and not letting Mary walk all over her. She’d never been the type to let that happen; Claire would always fight back. With a smirk, Nick wondered what would have happen if AJ’s jell-o wrestling idea had taken shape.

After all of that, he was relieved to have everyone out of the house. Howie had left not long after Claire and Laureen; he was driving back to Orlando that night so he could spend the night in his own bed and drop by his parents’ house in the morning, before the others arrived. AJ, Brian, Kevin, and their significant others had all headed to their hotel after that, and now it was just him and Veronica in the house. Peace and quiet.

“Wish we’d had some cameras set up to record all of that tonight!” Nick called when he heard her climbing the stairs. “We coulda turned it into a reality show! Man, that was some drama.”

He expected her to laugh, but when Veronica appeared in the doorway, she merely flashed a thin, tight-lipped smile.

“You okay?” he asked, immediately noticing that something was wrong.

Veronica shrugged. “I’m just tired. Long day. Long night.”

Nick nodded. “I hear ya,” he agreed. “You ready for bed?”

“Actually, I think I’m gonna go into the other room and write in my journal for a bit.” She crossed the room to where she’d left her suitcase and dug through it for a few seconds before standing up, brandishing the beat-up notebook he’d seen her scribbling away in from time to time. “Don’t wait up for me though, okay?”

“Alright…” Nick nodded slowly, watching her. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Fine. ‘Night, Nick.”

She’s mad about something, Nick thought as he watched her walk away, her journal cradled against her chest. He wondered if it had anything to do with Claire’s being there tonight. It had to be weird for her, being around his former fiancée. But she’d always known that he and Claire were still friends… friends, but nothing more.

I sound like Claire, he realized all of a sudden, chuckling ruefully to himself as he remembered all the times Claire had said the same thing about her and Jamie. He’d never liked that guy, even though she’d always sworn she and Jamie were ancient history. Of course, that hadn’t been so true; now they were back together. But as long as they were, he and Claire could never be. Veronica knew that, didn’t she?

Nick sighed; he was too tired to think about it now. He would worry about Veronica in the morning. A good night’s sleep would do them both good, he decided.

With that thought, he slipped under the covers, turned off the bedside lamp, and was asleep within minutes.

***

Nick didn’t see much of Veronica the next day. She looked exhausted in the morning and claimed that she hadn’t slept much the night before. She napped in her bunk on his bus the whole way to Orlando and didn’t turn up for soundcheck in the afternoon. He did find her in the audience at the concert that night, but even with the stage lights partially blinding him as he squinted out into the rows of seats, he could tell that she was not her usual smiley self.

Something was wrong, and he was determined to get to the bottom of it. But with the usual post-concert rush, there was no time to talk until they were back on the bus, on their way to the hotel in Orlando, where they’d be staying for the night.

“Can we talk?” Nick asked her, as she sat staring out the window into the darkness. He wasn’t even sure how she could see anything; all he saw was his own reflection in the tinted glass. His features revealed the worry and uncertainty inside of him.

“Not now. We do need to talk, but… wait till we get back to the hotel,” Veronica answered vaguely.

“Okay,” Nick nodded, but his stomach was in knots. Something was definitely wrong.

Once they had finally checked into the hotel and made it up to their room, Nick perched on the edge of the bed and looked up at her expectantly. “Okay, V, start talking,” he said. “I know something’s going on, so… shoot.”

“Okay…” Veronica said slowly, taking a few steps closer to him, her hands clasped tightly in front of her. She twisted them around nervously for a few seconds and then took a deep breath. “There’s really no easy way to say this, so I’m just gonna say it. When we land in New York tomorrow, I’m… I’m going to take a bus home to Rochester.”

Nick nodded slowly. “Okay…”

“… And I’m not going to come back… not for the rest of the tour,” Veronica continued. Her throat moved visibly as she swallowed hard.

Nick’s own throat tightened. “What are you saying?” he asked hoarsely, staring up at her. Was she about to break up with him?

“I’m saying… this isn’t working for me anymore, Nick. None of it. Not just the tour… the tour has been amazing, actually. It’s just… our whole relationship. It’s not going to work out,” Veronica said falteringly, but her tone was firm.

“Wh-why do you think that?” Nick stammered, shaking his head. “I thought we had something good going on…”

“Stop. Please don’t make this harder than it already is. It took me a whole night and day’s worth of thinking and reflecting to come to this conclusion and work up the guts to say this to you, but I have to say it.” Veronica stopped to clear her throat, then said, “If there’s one thing I’ve gained from being with you, Nick, it’s confidence. You’ve taught me to be more secure and value myself more. My last boyfriend didn’t respect me, and I didn’t respect myself, but… I do now. And because I respect myself, I can’t let myself stay in a relationship that I know is going nowhere.”

Nick shook his head more vigorously. “Veronica-“ he started, but she cut him off.

“I’m a rebound for you, Nick. And don’t try to deny it because we both know it’s true. We’ve always known; we’ve talked about this before. Technically, you’re a rebound for me too. We got into this when we were both coming off of bad break-ups,” she pointed out, and Nick had to admit, she was right. “The difference between us is, being with you helped me get over my ex. But you being with me… I don’t think it’s done anything for your feelings for Claire. You still have them, Nick. If I didn’t realize it before, I know it now, after last night. I saw the way you looked at her, the way you lit up whenever she was around.”

“What are you-“

“You don’t have to feel bad; I know you weren’t doing it on purpose. You can’t help who you love. But just admit it… you still love Claire, don’t you?”

She was looking down at him, but her eyes weren’t condescending or accusing or anything like that. Mostly, they just looked sad. And that was almost worse. He squirmed under her gaze for a few long seconds, but he knew he couldn’t deny it. He wished he didn’t still have feelings for Claire, but the truth was, he did, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

“Yes,” he whispered, lowering his eyes. “I… I guess I didn’t realize how much I still did until I saw her last night. I thought I was getting over her, but…”

“Some people, you never get over,” murmured Veronica quietly.

Nick swallowed hard, then forced himself to look up at her. “But the thing is, I can’t be with her,” he said fiercely. “So it doesn’t even matter. Just because I have feelings for her doesn’t mean I don’t also have feelings for you. I really care about you, Veronica!”

Veronica gave him a sad smile. “I know. You care about me… but you love Claire. There’s a difference. You don’t love me, not in that way. And… and,” she added quickly, before he could protest, “if I’m being honest, Nick, I really care about you too… but I don’t think I love you that way either. I… I love being with you, being around you… These last few months have been amazing!! Like a dream come true… being Nick Carter’s girlfriend. But that’s the thing – maybe all this time, I was just in love with the idea of being with you. What fan isn’t? You’re everything I’d hoped you would be… but you’re not ‘the one’ – do you know what I mean? You and I… we were never meant to last. It’s never going to work out between us.”

Nick kept his eyes down, staring into his lap. For a few seconds, he didn’t speak. He knew she was right. He’d enjoyed their fling over the last few months too, but he’d never felt the same way about her as he had for Claire. He’d never looked at her and thought, This is the woman I want to grow old with, never had the compulsion to propose to her during the credits of a cheesy horror movie as they lay in bed, snuggled together and tipsy. There just hadn’t been the kind of sparks he’d experienced with Claire, the kind of sparks that told him this was something truly special.

Finally he looked up, and slowly, he nodded. “I’m sorry, V,” was all he could think to say.

“You don’t have to apologize,” she said softly in return. “I wouldn’t trade the last six months for anything. I should be thanking you. You came into my life when I was looking for a change, and you made me a better, stronger person. You helped heal some of the wounds my last boyfriend created. But I still have healing left to do, and I think I need to do it alone this time. I just need be single for awhile, spend some time on my own, just working on me. I think I’m going to move back to New York and take some classes next semester, finish up my bachelor’s degree.”

“That would be nice,” replied Nick, his voice still hoarse because his throat had gone dry. “Then maybe you could start doing what you really want to do…”

“Writing,” Veronica finished, and for a brief moment, they shared a smile. “Exactly. No more deli for Veronica. I’m going to make something of myself.”

Nick nodded. “Well… I wish you the best then,” he said, raking a hand through his hair. This was one of the most bizarre breakups he’d ever endured, mostly because it was so civil, so undramatic. No revealing of huge, life-altering lies that would tear them apart forever… no break-up notes left behind to tear him up inside. He knew now that he and Veronica were over, but this time, he also knew, without a doubt, that he would be okay. And so would she. She was right; they weren’t meant to last, and if she hadn’t come to that conclusion now, they inevitably still would have fizzled down the road. It was probably best to end it now, on friendly terms.

“You too,” Veronica echoed his sentiments with a tiny smile. “I hope the rest of the tour goes well. You know I’ll be keeping track of you. Once a fan, always a fan.” She smiled wider.

He returned the smile. “We can still keep in touch,” he said. “You don’t just have to read about me on the internet or something. Gimme a call sometime; you’ve got my number now.

Veronica nodded. “I will.”

That night, Nick slept in Howie’s suite, letting Veronica have the one they were supposed to share. They’d both agreed it would be better that way, less awkward. They rode on different buses to the airport the next morning and sat in different rows on the plane to New York. When they got off at JFK International, he pulled her into a hug in the terminal. “Take care, V,” he whispered in her ear. And then they went their separate ways, Nick piling into a van with guys for the ride to their hotel, Veronica boarding a bus that would take her back to her hometown of Rochester.

After that, the tour went on as planned. But Veronica never called.

***