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Chapter 117

Dr. Mahmood had only been gone for half an hour when Howie looked at his watch and then stood up. “Nicky… Claire…” he said, looking at them in turn, “You’ll have to excuse me for awhile. I’ve got a quick errand to run.” Nick cocked his head at Howie, questioning him with his eyes, but Howie gave no further explanation. “I’ll be back,” he added with a quick wave of his hand, and with that, he was gone.

As soon as he left the room, Nick and Claire exchanged glances. “What was all that about?” Claire asked, looking puzzled.

Nick just shook his head. “No idea…”

He heard footsteps then and looked up, expecting to see Howie pop back into the room, but instead, his day nurse, Nina, breezed in, carrying an IV bag. “Hi, Nick,” she said with a bright smile. “I talked to your pulmonologist, and she said we were to get you started on prednisone right away. So…” She held up the fresh IV bag and moved around to his IV pole to swap it for the one containing the worthless antibiotics he’d been on for the last few days. “Now, did Dr. Mahmood explain the side effects of this drug?” she asked as she set to work, adjusting a clamp on his IV line to stop the drip of the medication.

Nick shook his head. “No…”

Nina nodded. “Okay, well… prednisone is a kind of steroid called a corticosteroid. It has a few side effects that you should know about. Most people have an increased appetite, which makes them put on weight…”

“Oh… great,” Nick grumbled, thinking of how he’d prided himself on keeping his weight constant over the last few years.

“You also might get some bloating in your face… it’s known as ‘moon face’ because your face will round out.” Nick grimaced. “Also, you might have some skin reactions… acne or rashes. Some people experience some emotional side effects too, from slight nervousness or mood swings to something bigger, like depression. We’ll give you more information with your prescription once you go home, but it’s something you’ll need to watch out for and call your doctor if you have any problems.”

With that, Nina finished hanging the new bag of fluid on his IV pole and fiddled with the line until the liquid started to drip through it, into his veins. Nick swallowed hard as he watched it, discouraged by all of the side effects she had listed. “How long will I be taking this stuff?” he wondered out loud.

“You’ll have to run that one by your doctor, but with the high dose she’s starting you out on, you can probably expect to be on it for awhile… at least a few weeks, if not months. I know with this kind of drug, you’ll have to be weaned off it slowly; you can get a bad reaction if you stop taking it suddenly.”

Nick blanched, watching as she wrote down the time on a label and stuck it on the bag, marking when it should be changed with a fresh one. Then she came over to check the line in his arm again. “How does that feel?” she asked, prodding his skin lightly with her gloved finger.

Nick shrugged. “Fine.”

“Good. Do you have any questions before I go?” Nina asked as she expertly snapped her latex gloves off.

He thought for a minute and then shook his head. “No. Thanks.”

When the nurse left, he sighed heavily and looked over at Claire. “So I have a disease called BOOP, and now I’m gonna be fat and crazy too.”

Claire gave him a sympathetic look. “Sorry, Nick. The ‘roids are no picnic, but if they make you better, it’s worth it. You’ll take the weight off again,” she said knowingly.

“Is this what you were on? Back when-“

“Back when you met me? Yeah,” she nodded. “That’s why I was all bloated-looking and everything. She wasn’t kidding about that.”

Nick could attest to that; he remembered how different she had looked when he had first gotten to know her, compared to a few months after her bone marrow transplant, when she’d lost weight, gotten her hair back, and started looking normal again. Great, he thought sarcastically, imagining himself puffing up like a balloon. Ugh.

“It doesn’t make you lose your hair though, does it?” he asked uncertainly. He wasn’t sure why it mattered so much, but he’d always had a hard time with going bald from chemo.

“No… actually, I think it makes some people grow extra hair. Gee, maybe now you’ll be able to grow a full beard if you want to,” she teased, rubbing the side of her face as she winked playfully at him.

“Hey… I could grow a full beard if I wanted to,” Nick insisted, scratching at the stubble on his chin. “It’s not gonna give me, like, gross back hair, though, is it?”

Claire laughed. “You mean the kind that foams out of the top of your shirt and grosses out people walking behind you?”

“Yeah,” Nick chuckled. “That kind.”

“Yeah, that stuff was a bitch. God, it itched like hell.”

“Huh??”

“The back hair! Mine was so thick you could have braided it. My brother called me Chewbacca for months…”

Nick stared at her in horror, trying to remember if he had ever seen her bare back before she had her transplant. “Are you serious??” he asked in a low voice, unable to tell if she was just messing with him or not. She was so good at that.

Naturally, Claire burst out laughing. “No! Jeez, chill out. You’re not gonna come out of this looking like a wookie.”

Nick flashed her his middle finger above the covers. “You suck,” he pouted, wondering why he had believed her for a second.

“Aww, poor baby. But hey, look on the bright side – maybe you’ll be able to hit a baseball harder.”

“Really?” asked Nick, perking up.

Claire laughed. “Nah… I don’t think so anyway. I certainly didn’t feel like Barry Bonds.”

He stuck his tongue out at her, but he didn’t really mind her teasing him. It felt good to laugh after what he’d been through in the last few days. All of the pain and the worry. It’s gonna be okay now, he told himself.

***

Poor Nick, thought Claire, watching his face as he flipped channels on the TV, searching for something tolerable for them to watch. It sounded as if he was going to have a tough road ahead of him. Which was the last thing he needed because he’d already come such a long way on that very tough road. Shouldn’t there be an exit up ahead soon?

“Ooh, Jaws,” she murmured absently, recognizing the red-tinged water that briefly appeared on screen.

Nick shuddered visibly. “No,” he said flatly, flipping past it. “I hate sharks. That movie gave me freakin’ nightmares when I was a kid.”

“Really?” Claire smiled, imagining a pint-sized Nick, afraid to go in the water.

“Yeah. Hell, it still does.”

She laughed. “That’s okay. I always got nightmares from watching the slasher movies when I was little… Halloween especially.”

Nick smirked mischievously and started humming the Halloween theme song while he raised an imaginary knife over his head, a sadistic gleam in his eyes. She stuck her tongue out at him. “You wouldn’t make it either,” he commented. “You’re not a virgin.”

She snorted. “You’d be dead before me.” Through the grapevine of Backstreet Boys fans on the internet, she’d heard rumors of his rendezvous in Europe over the last few months, rumors she hoped weren’t true. Even if they weren’t, she was still quite certain he’d slept with way more people than she ever had.

“Nah, I’m the killer, remember??” He waved his invisible knife with flourish. “I’ll live till the very end… and then come back in about ten or eleven sequels.”

They both laughed. The effort cost Nick, though, and he started to cough, wincing every time his body jolted with the force. Claire frowned; it made her hurt to see him in pain. “Are you alright?” she asked, feeling frustratingly helpless.

Nick nodded briefly through the coughs, squeezing his eyes shut with the pain. He clutched the bed sheet in his fists, trying to brace himself until the coughing fit ended. At last, his body went limp against the mattress. Claire waited for a few tense moments, watching him cautiously. His chest heaved up and down as he inhaled the oxygen that flowed into his nose. Not knowing what else to do to help him, she reached out and laid her hand over his, rubbing it soothingly as she waited anxiously for him to recover.

When Nick finally opened his eyes again, they were bright with tears. He blinked quickly and grimaced. “God, this sucks,” he muttered, his voice breathy and hoarse.

“How ya feeling?” she asked. “Is your chest okay?”

“It’s throbbing,” he rasped, “but I’ll be alright…”

She squeezed his hand, wishing she could take away his hurt. She felt a rush of relief when she heard footsteps approaching his room. Expecting to see one of the nurses, she looked up, but instead she found Howie coming back in. With him was Brian.

“Hey!” she said, smiling at Brian. She hadn’t known he was coming.

Neither had Nick, apparently, because he blinked in surprise and asked, “B, what’re you doin’ here?”

“Don’t sound so surprised,” said Brian, giving him a wounded look. “My little bro just had surgery; I wanted to check up on him. How ya doin’, man?” he asked as he came up to the end of the bed, squeezing Nick’s ankle beneath the covers.

“Been better,” admitted Nick wearily. “This BOOP thing sucks, dude. I wouldn’t recommend it.”

Claire noticed the way Brian’s lips tightened as his jaw clenched; his blue eyes appeared calm on the surface, but in their depths, she could see his worry. He wordlessly patted Nick’s leg again and then turned to Claire. “How are you doin’, Claire?” he asked in his genial Kentucky drawl.

She smiled. “I’m alright,” she said with a shrug. “Did you fly down here?”

They made small talk for a few minutes, Brian telling them about his plane ride, Howie complaining about the airport traffic on the way back into the city. They watched a few more minutes of whatever Nick had left on the TV. Then, after awhile, Howie said, “Nicky, man, not tryin’ to bail on ya, but I think I’m gonna head out for awhile, book myself a hotel room. I need a shower… and a nap.”

“What, you tryin’ to tell me that chair you slept in all night wasn’t comfy or something?” teased Nick. Howie smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, go on, dude. And don’t bother getting a hotel; you can just chill at my place if you want to.”

“You sure?”

“’Course. My keys are with my stuff over there, and you know my security code,” said Nick, pointing out the bag containing his clothes. Howie nodded and went over to get the set of house keys. “Bri, same goes for you,” added Nick.

“Okay, thanks, man. But I won’t need a place to crash for awhile; I just got here,” said Brian, plopping down into the chair Howie had once occupied.

Claire looked between the two of them and suddenly felt as if she should let the pair of best friends hang out alone for awhile. When Howie found the keys, she stood up herself. “I think I’m gonna go too, actually,” she said, looking at Nick. “I’ll let you two catch up. Mind if I drop by again tomorrow?”

“Sure,” said Nick, looking surprised that she had asked. “I mean, you can come if you want. Don’t feel like you have to.”

She smiled. “I’ll see ya tomorrow, Nick,” she said, touching his shoulder briefly before she backed away. Then she and Howie walked out of the room together.

“When did you find out Brian was coming?” she asked him, as they made their way out of the hospital.

“Last night,” answered Howie. “He’s the one who called me to tell me Nicky was having surgery yesterday and wanted me to come because he knew he wasn’t gonna be able to get down here in time. I’ve been keeping him updated. He booked the flight late last night, when… when we didn’t know…”

Claire nodded knowingly. “That’s great that he could get down here,” she mused. “You know, before I got to know Nick, I never would have guessed that you guys were really as close as you are. You really are like Nick’s brothers.” She smiled at Howie, thinking of how grateful Nick was to have him and the others as a replacement for his own estranged family.

Howie nodded, smiling back. “We are,” he agreed. “He’s like the little brother none of us ever had growing up, and we’d do anything for him. And I know he’d do the same for any of us too. It’s just hard sometimes…” He trailed off, his face turning strained. “… watching him go through stuff like this, you know? He doesn’t deserve this. He’s already been through so much…”

Claire nodded again; his thoughts were the same as hers.

“It’s hardest on Kevin though,” Howie continued. “His dad died of cancer, before I knew him. When Nick was going through the chemo and stuff, I know he couldn’t help but think of his dad. Thank God Nick’s outcome was different. I don’t know what Kev would have done if… well, you know. We all would have been lost, but Kev especially… he’s always been the most protective of Nicky. I know it kills him that he can’t do anything to stop stuff like this from happening.”

“Does he know what’s going on now then?” Claire asked, as they passed through the hospital entranceway and emerged into the sunny Florida afternoon.

“Yeah, he knows. He was thinking about flying out too, but he’s all the way in LA… I told him and AJ to stay put for the time being. Now that they know what’s wrong, I think Nicky’s gonna be fine…”

His words sounded more confident than his tone of voice. Sensing his uncertainty, Claire smiled reassuringly and told him with confidence, “I think so too. He’s been through too much to let this bring him down for long.”

Howie smiled back and nodded. When it came time to head in different directions in the parking lot, he said, “Thanks for always being there for him, Claire. I know it’s probably not easy for you… relationships always complicate things, especially when they end. But I know it means a lot to Nick that you still care.”

Claire felt awkward, listening to one of Nick’s best friends thank her for being there for him. She really didn’t deserve it, after leaving him once. But when it came to something like this, she knew she could never abandon Nick. They still had a connection that she felt could not be broken, through hell or high water.

She offered Howie a brief smile. “I’ll always care,” she said softly.

***

After a long and boring weekend in the hospital, Nick awoke on Monday morning to find himself ravenously hungry. His stomach growled as he waited for his breakfast tray to be brought, and when it finally came, his mouth watered at the sight of the food.

This was strange for two reasons; one, he’d felt so bad recently that he hadn’t had an appetite in days, and two, even when he did feel like eating, hospital food was not his entrée of choice. But the bland selection of food he’d been given actually looked appetizing to him today, and when he dug in, he found that it wasn’t half bad. Of course, he wolfed it down so fast, he didn’t exactly taste it…

“Now there’s the Nick Carter we all know and love,” drawled a familiar voice, and Nick looked up, fork in midair, to see Brian standing in his doorway. Brian flashed him a cheeky grin. “It’s good to see you eating like that again, bro,” he added, motioning to the tray in front of Nick. “You feelin’ better?”

Nick paused to think for a moment before answering. He supposed he did feel a little better. He was still short of breath and relying heavily on oxygen, but the perpetual ache in his chest had dulled, and he didn’t feel as if he were being crushed by a hippo anymore. That was definitely an improvement. “Yeah,” he answered finally, “A little bit, I guess.”

“Good,” Brian smiled as he sank into one of the visitor chairs.

“How’re things at the house?” Nick wondered, realizing he hadn’t been back to his home in almost a week now. Brian and Howie had been staying there and taking care of the place though, or at least he hoped.

“Just fine. We haven’t wrecked the place yet,” teased Brian. “I think Howie’s been shaving his chest in your shower though.”

“Eww, Bri!” Nick groaned, wrinkling his nose. He knew Brian was just messing with him, but he had to ask, “He hasn’t started doing that again, has he??”

“Now wouldn’t it sound a little odd if I was able to give you an answer to that question?” Brian shot back, cocking an eyebrow in one of his trademark cartoonish expressions.

Snickering, Nick nodded. “It would get those gay rumors going again if anyone overheard. I can see the tabloid captions now… Brian and Howie’s secret rendezvous in Nick Carter’s hot tub… scandalous. What would Leighanne think??”

“You know I’ve alwayth had a thecret thing for thpicy Latin men,” Brian lisped, batting his eyelashes flamboyantly.

Nick burst out laughing, cackling so hard it hurt (not that it took much to do that). It wasn’t so much Brian’s impression as the expression on Dr. Mahmood’s face as she stood just inside the door. Brian was too busy cracking himself up to notice her come in, but when he looked over at a hysterical Nick with an expression of mild confusion on his face, all Nick had to do was point.

“Oh… what’s up, Doc?” Brian cracked, grinning widely as his face reddened. “Didn’t see ya there… surprise, surprise. Does gossip about inter-Backstreet Boy relations fall under the patient confidentiality rules?” he joked, winking at the pretty young doctor.

She smiled, looking rather embarrassed herself. “You have my word – I won’t go to the tabloids,” she promised with a wink in return, before turning to Nick. “Nick, you look like you’re feeling better this morning.”

Nick coughed, completely out of breath from laughing again. He could only nod as Dr. Mahmood came closer to look at the numbers on his monitors and check the notes the nurses had added to his chart. “Your sats are starting to improve,” she observed. “That’s great news. It means the steroids are doing their job. I’m going to order another chest x-ray so we can see how your lungs are looking, and assuming things look better, I’ll be able to remove your chest tubes.”

“Great,” sighed Nick in relief, hoping the chest x-ray would give her what she was looking for.

“Mm-hm,” murmured the doctor, still concentrating. “Your blood pressure is a little high,” she noted, “but that’s a common side effect of prednisone. It should go back to normal once you’ve stopped treatment, but in the meantime, we’ll keep an eye on that. Have you been noticing any other symptoms since you started the steroids on Saturday?”

Nick shrugged. “I’m hungry again,” he replied, pointing to his breakfast tray, which had been nearly picked clean. “That nurse Nina said I’d have a bigger appetite.”

Dr. Mahmood nodded, smiling a little. “Well, good. Just let me know if you start having any symptoms that bother you, and I’ll see what I can do. In the meantime, I’ll order that x-ray. Someone should be coming to take you to radiology later this morning.”

“Okay,” Nick nodded. “Thanks, Doc.”

“Yes, thank you,” Brian chimed in, “for everything you’ve done for Nick.” He rose from his chair, extending his hand to the doctor. She smiled pleasantly and shook it.

“Of course. That’s my job,” she replied. She turned back to Nick and said, “You rest up, and I’ll be back to check on you later, after you’ve had the x-ray.”

Nick nodded again, shifting his weight in his bed as he watched her walk out of the room.

***

“Tell Nick to get well soon from me, okay?” asked Laureen earnestly as Claire was getting ready to leave work that afternoon.

“Thanks, I will. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it,” Claire replied with a smile. Of course she had filled Laureen in on what was going on with Nick over their lunch break, and of course Laureen had been concerned. Claire was anxious to see how he was doing as well. He had seemed a little better when she had dropped by the hospital to visit the day before, but he wasn’t out of the woods yet.

When she pulled away from the dentist’s office a few minutes later, she headed straight for the hospital, eager to visit with Nick for an hour or two before she went home. After complaining that he hadn’t seen enough of her that weekend, Jamie had offered to make dinner for the two of them when he got off work at five, so she had promised to go over to his place later. But this afternoon, Nick came first.

In her bright-colored scrubs, Claire blended into the hospital scene nicely as she made her way up to Nick’s room on the fifth floor. The security guard that patrolled the hall recognized her now and offered her a polite smile as she reached Nick’s door. “Knock-knock!” she called lightly, poking her head in.

Nick was propped up in bed, TV remote in hand. “Hey!” he exclaimed when he saw her and motioned her in.

“Hey yourself. How’s it going?” she asked as she came over and plopped down into the chair by his bed. She looked him over and decided that he looked livelier than he had the last few days. He was sitting up higher in his bed, and his cheeks had a little more color in them anyway.

“Better,” he answered, confirming her observations. “I had a chest x-ray done this morning, and my lungs looked a little clearer. And no more chest tubes either,” he added, touching his side gingerly.

“That’s great!” she said. “I’m glad you’re starting to feel better. Laureen says ‘get well soon,’ by the way.”

“Oh, tell her thanks,” Nick smiled. “How was your day?”

“Crazy! We always get the most emergencies at the beginning of the week, since we’re not open on weekends – people who knock out their teeth and whatnot over the weekend have to wait till Monday morning to come in.”

“Ugh,” Nick cringed, making a face.

“Yeah, today we saw a guy who got hit in the face with a hammer and broke his front teeth. He said he and his son were working on some home improvements together, and his son was hammering something and accidentally let go of the hammer, and it flew and hit him in the mouth! What are the chances of that happening??”

Nick’s mouth fell open. “Oh God!”

“Yeah, it wasn’t pretty,” she finished with a grimace. Nick looked rather ashen, so she decided to change the subject. “Hey, I brought you something.”

Nick’s expression changed quickly. “Really? What?” he asked with an eager smile.

She grinned and pulled the get-well gift out of her tote, watching Nick’s face in anticipation as she handed it to him. His features contorted with confusion as he took the small, metal lunchbox, which was carnation pink and featured a big picture of Betty Boop on the front. She started giggling as he looked up at her with a ‘What the fuck?’ expression on his face. “It’s Betty BOOP!” she enunciated, snickering. “Get it?”

She had seen the lunch box at an antique shop the day before when she was out scavenging with Dianna, who had recently developed an infatuation with vintage jewelry. Remembering the absurd acronym for the illness Nick had, she hadn’t been able to resist buying it for him as a gag.

“Ohhh,” Nick groaned, shaking his head at the present. “Claire…”

“Aww, you don’t have to thank me; I know you love it,” she teased with an impish smile. “You’ll love what’s inside it, at least; I guarantee.”

He gave her a suspicious look, but obediently unclasped the lunch box and opened the rusting lid. Immediately, he smiled when he saw the abundance of Hershey’s Hugs Claire had filled the tin box with. “Chocolate,” he said approvingly, plucking a couple of Hugs out of the box before he closed it again. He tossed one at her and unwrapped the other for himself, popping it into his mouth before adding a muffled, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” she laughed. “I figured chocolate would make you feel a little better.”

He nodded, smiling broadly as he swallowed. “Don’t let me eat ‘em all tonight… at the rate I’m going, I will. You were right; that prednisone shit makes you hungry. Damn!”

She laughed again and nodded knowingly. “Well, at least now you have a spiffy little lunchbox to pack extra food in if you need to.” She winked, enjoying the sight of him sitting with a pink lunch box in his lap. If only she’d brought her camera…

Nick playfully flipped her his middle finger as he opened up the lunch box again and took out another chocolate. Before she knew it, the little foil-wrapped Hug came flying at her, bouncing off her chest and landing in her lap. “Hey!” she exclaimed, giggling, as she grabbed the candy and whipped it back at him. It hit his shoulder, ricocheted off his IV pole with a dull clang, and skidded across the floor and under the bed. This sent them both into a fit of giggles, just like a couple of children.

“Careful, woman!” Nick exclaimed breathlessly, his eyes large. “You’re gonna knock my teeth out! Good thing it’s a Monday, huh?”

“You dork,” Claire laughed, wrinkling his nose. “Gimme another one of those,” she added and descended upon the lunchbox, snagging another chocolate Hug.

“Why don’t you get the one you threw on the floor first?” retorted Nick, closing the lunchbox and moving it out of her reach.

“’Cause it’s a hospital; who knows what’s been on that floor,” Claire replied, making a face.

“Claire, you shove your hands in people’s nasty mouths all day long – a few puke stains on the floor shouldn’t bother you.”

Claire laughed at the impudent look on his face and shrugged. “I guess you have a point,” she said, “but look at this way – now whoever comes to clean your room will have a little treat waiting for them.” She giggled, and he just shook his head in mock exasperation.

She couldn’t help but smile. It was a relief to see him in good spirits again. She just hoped it would last. Somehow she knew he still had a few bumps in the road left to pass.

***