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Chapter 118

It was the middle of the night, and Nick could not sleep. And if the insomnia weren’t enough of an annoyance, his stomach was bothering him too. Pains shot through his belly as he lay flipping channels, trying to keep his mind off of them. The pain wasn’t severe, but the irritation was enough to make him uncomfortable. Realizing that he would never be able to get to sleep with his stomach aching this way, he pressed his nurse call button in hopes of getting some relief.

It took a few minutes for anyone to respond to the call, but when the crack of light from his door widened and his eyes adjusted, he could make out Samantha coming towards him.

“Nick?” she asked gently. “How are you doin’? Did you need somethin’?”

He shifted uncomfortably in his bed. “Um, yeah, my stomach’s kind of bothering me,” he told her.

When she asked where and how bad the pain was, he knew the description he gave her was vague at best, but after listening to him, she said, “It’s probably just an effect of the prednisone you’re taking. Some people do have some stomach irritation. I’ll bring you some Pepcid and see if that helps.”

“Thanks,” Nick said gratefully. “Hey, you think you could bring a sleeping pill or something too? I’ve been trying to fall asleep for hours, and I just can’t…”

She nodded. “Sure. I’ll be back,” she promised and left the room, the squeaking of her white shoes on the tiled floor fading into the midnight calm.

A slow ten or fifteen minutes passed, and the infomercial Nick had left on the television ended before the nurse finally came back with his medicine. “Sorry that took so long,” she apologized as she handed him a little plastic cup containing two different tablets. “I got tied up with another patient. It’s been a rough night,” she added as she poured him a cup of water from the plastic pitcher on his bed tray.

She sounded frazzled, and Nick wanted to ask what was going on, but knew better. She wouldn’t be able to tell him anything about the other patient. Confidentiality rules.

He swallowed his pills with a drink from the cup of water and set it back on the tray. “That should do it for me. Thanks,” he said, offering her a grateful smile. “Hope your night gets better.”

She smiled back, looking like it had gotten better already. “Thank you,” she said sweetly. “Try and get some rest. I’ll be back to check on you later.”

As her squeaking shoes disappeared into the hallway a second time, Nick lay back down and tried to sleep.

***

The pills did their job, and finally, Nick was able to sleep. When he awoke the next morning, his stomach felt better, too. All in all, he felt better than he had the day before, which made him even more restless. The day seemed to last forever, and the subsequent night seemed even longer. Yet, finally, the light of Wednesday’s dawn streamed through the blinds of Nick’s window.

Wednesday, March fifteenth, happened to be Claire’s birthday, but Nick felt like it was he who got the best gift of all, when Dr. Mahmood came in and announced, “I’m releasing you.” There was no colorful bow on the discharge papers a nurse brought for him to sign a short while later, but Nick couldn’t have been happier to receive them.

He was going home.

Of course, it wasn’t as simple as that. Though he was leaving the hospital, he could not escape the havoc that the disease called BOOP had been wreaking on his body. He still had trouble breathing without extra oxygen, so someone at the hospital had set him up with a medical supply home delivery company that would keep him stocked with portable oxygen tanks to use at home. Dr. Mahmood had said he might be dependent on the oxygen for at least a few more weeks. In addition, he would be taking his prescribed steroids for months to come. It would be awhile before he was truly home free, but today, being able to leave the hospital was good enough for Nick.

Howie and Brian, who had been staying at Nick’s place while they were both in town, picked him up and brought him home. They had decided that one of them should stay in Tampa with Nick for awhile longer, “you know, in case you need help around the house or anything,” Howie had explained cheerfully.

Or in case I decide to stop breathing, Nick thought darkly as he rode in the backseat, fingering his oxygen tubing. He knew that was the real reason – they didn’t feel comfortable leaving him all alone while he was still sick enough to need oxygen.

Nick hated being babied, but he had to admit, it would be nice to have the company. The guys always acted like they were glad to get away from each other after a long tour, but he usually found himself missing them after a few weeks… sometimes even a few days. They were the best friends he’d ever had, and even though things had changed as they’d gotten older, he still enjoyed their company. In the last few years, he’d leaned on them more than ever. Without his family, without Claire or Veronica or any other woman in his life, without the other friends he’d drifted apart from, he sometimes felt like they were all he had.

“We’re he-ere!” Brian sing-songed as Howie pulled the car up in front of Nick’s house. Nick smiled up at it, glad to be home. Brian jumped out of the car quickly and opened Nick’s door like a chauffeur. Nick did not want to be helped, though. He waved Brian off as he climbed out of the car on his own, dragging his clunky oxygen tank on wheels along with him.

He was grateful for the oxygen as he started walking up to the house, however; after lying in bed for the better part of the week, Nick’s body was rather stiff, and the days of disuse had made walking on his prosthesis a more awkward feat than usual. He felt like an old man as he shuffled up the walkway that led to his front door, wheeling the oxygen tank behind him. All he needed was white hair and a walker… and at the moment, he wouldn’t be so opposed to the walker. Walking with his artificial leg typically required about three times as much energy as most people used to walk, but with his ailing lungs, Nick felt the strain even more than usual. He sucked greedily on the oxygen, hoping it would give him the extra push he needed just to get into his house.

“You doin’ okay?” Howie asked, coming up alongside him as he reached the front stoop.

Nick nodded, clenching his jaw in determination. “Didn’t think I’d feel this tired so soon,” the confession slipped out of him.

Brian joined them on Nick’s other side, his stance somewhat like that of a gymnastics spotter, ready to catch Nick if he should take a fall. “It’s to be expected, you know,” he said. “Your lung capacity’s decreased, you had surgery and a collapsed lung last week, and you’ve been lying in a hospital bed for days… I wouldn’t expect you to get up and run a marathon.” He chuckled and put his hand on Nick’s shoulder as they reached the front door. “It was the same way after my heart surgery – remember how weak I was? You just need some time to build up your strength again. Being sick and having surgery takes a lot out of you.”

This was nothing Nick didn’t already know; by now, he figured he was at least one up on Brian when it came to health issues. Still, it frustrated him. He’d been going stir-crazy in the hospital, after being cooped up in bed for days and days, but now he was so tired that all he wanted to do was lie down again.

Howie held the door as he mercifully walked into the house. He headed immediately for the chair that sat in the foyer and sank down onto it to rest for a minute. Howie and Brian took their time removing their shoes, pretending not to notice how drained Nick was. Though, Nick didn’t miss the way Howie kept checking on him out of the corner of his eye, when he thought Nick wasn’t looking.

After a few minutes, he stood up, knowing he couldn’t sit there forever. “I’m gonna go take a shower,” he announced. He hadn’t had a real shower since his biopsy, and he was eager to wash the stench of the hospital from his skin. “Then I’m probably gonna lie down for awhile.”

Howie and Brian nodded, following a few feet behind him as he started towards the stairs.

It quickly became apparent that Nick was going to be confined to the downstairs bedroom again. He didn’t have the strength he needed to get up the stairs, and trying to lug the oxygen tank up each step while keeping his balance was nearly impossible. Within a few minutes, Howie and Brian were bringing loads of Nick’s stuff down from the master bedroom and setting up the guest room on the first floor for him. As he sat on the bed, feeling worthless, Nick looked around the room and sighed. He had come to hate this room, for it reminded him of the many months he’d spent recuperating from the amputation. He never wanted to relive that time again. And yet, here he was.

He sighed again. This was going to suck.

***

For her twenty-seventh birthday, Claire’s parents drove down to take her out for a big family dinner. They met Jamie and her and Kyle, Amber, and fifteen-month-old Kamden at one of Claire’s favorite restaurants, a fun fishhouse located near the bay. Lingering over dinner, they chattered on about what had been going on in their lives and everything else under the sun, from the approaching baseball season to Claire and Jamie’s wedding plans.

It had only been a month since Jamie had proposed, but Claire had found that wedding ideas were already coming together much faster than they had when she was with Nick. She and Nick had barely finished designing her ring a month into their engagement, and she hadn’t any idea where to start with the wedding plans. But somehow, this time around everything seemed much simpler.

“You still set on renting a yacht to get married on?” her dad asked, stroking his beard. “I think your mother’s still got that number you gave her lying around somewhere…”

Feeling Jamie’s eyes on her, Claire shook her head. Then she reached for his hand beneath the table. “Jamie and I want to get married in the Church,” she replied.

Like her, Jamie came from a Catholic family, though his was more devout than hers. They had already talked about it and agreed that a traditional Catholic wedding was the way to go. It wasn’t what she would have planned with Nick, which made it even more appealing to her – somehow it just felt wrong using the ideas she’d thought of for Nick’s and her ceremony on her wedding with Jamie. Besides, she had always pictured herself getting married in a big white dress at the altar of a church, just as her mother had in her parents’ old wedding pictures. Getting married on a yacht would have been amazing… but she would be perfectly content to walk down the flower-trimmed aisle of a pretty old Catholic church to meet the man she loved.

Her parents nodded their approval, her mother’s smile radiant with excitement. Though they didn’t say as much, Claire knew this was the kind of wedding they had always hoped to give their only daughter, and the more she thought about it, the more she couldn’t wait to really dive into the planning with her mom. This time, she wasn’t going to delay it as much as she had with Nick.

“We’re thinking of a winter wedding,” she added. “Maybe January or February.” But not Valentine’s Day, she added internally. Way too clichéd. She would not say this to Jamie, for it was the day he had proposed, but she was secretly glad he hadn’t suggested it.

“That sounds lovely,” her mother gushed. “That gives us… let’s see… about nine months to plan. We’ll have to get a start on it soon, but I think that sounds like a good timeframe.”

Claire nodded eagerly. “I’ve already got some ideas. Like, I think I’d like my color scheme to be purple… a dark purple. That’s a good shade for a winter wedding, right? I’m picturing my bridesmaids in long, satiny deep purple gowns…”

“How many bridesmaids do you think you’re going to have?” her mom cut in.

Claire did a quick count in her head. “Just three or so. Dianna’s going to be my maid of honor, of course. I think I’m going to ask Laureen too. And Amber, I’d love it if you would be one of my bridesmaids too.” She looked hopefully across the table at her sister-in-law, who grinned.

“Of course!” Amber chirped happily. Claire had been a bridesmaid in her wedding to Kyle; it was only natural that she should be in Claire’s wedding.

“I guess the number will depend on how many groomsmen there will be too,” spoke up Jamie. Then he added, “Kyle, I think it makes sense for the bride’s brother to stand at the altar with us, especially if his wife’s going to be up there too. Whaddya say to being a groomsman?”

“Sure, Jamie,” Kyle nodded his acceptance with a smile.

“I’m going to ask Brad to be my best man,” Jamie went on, referring to his own big brother, “and then I had two more groomsmen in mind.”

Claire looked over at him, hoping he meant some of his friends from high school, though they were scattered across the country by now. Somehow, by the look on his face, she knew it wasn’t any of them. “Let me guess,” she said flatly. “Greg and Jerr?”

“Honey…” said Jamie, in a way that let her know she was testing his patience, “they’re some of my best buddies. I want them to stand up with me as much as you want Di to stand up with you.”

There was not much Claire could say to that. It was his wedding too, and his groomsmen. He wasn’t trying to restrict who she could have as a bridesmaid, so she forced a smile and nodded. “Gotcha. So if you have four groomsmen, I’m gonna need another bridesmaid. Maybe I’ll call Jenn…” She thought of her college roommate, who had been living in Paris for the last few years. Jenn didn’t know Jamie well, but after Dianna, Laureen, and Amber, she was the next closest female friend Claire had. Claire made a mental note to call her and see if she might like to come home for the wedding next year.

Next year… it seemed a long way away, but in reality, it was only a matter of months. And with all the planning that had to be done, Claire had a feeling they were going to fly by. Before she knew it, she’d be celebrating her twenty-eighth birthday as a married woman. Her birthday cards would come addressed to Mrs. Claire Turner. Claire Turner, she thought, tossing the name around in her head. She’d always thought it had a nice ring. Not as cute as Claire Carter… but it would do.

***

“Say bye-bye to Aunt Claire, Kam! Bye-bye!”

Claire laughed as she watched her football jock of a brother coo to his son before strapping him into his carseat. “Bye-bye, Kam!” she called to her nephew, returning the baby’s wave before Kyle shut the back door of his car. She always found it unbelievably endearing, the way her big tough brother just melted around his son. He was a good daddy, a quality she’d always admired in a man.

“Happy birthday, Claire-Bear,” Kyle told her for a final time, and as he hugged her, she looked over his broad shoulder at Jamie. Would he be the same way around their children, if they were able to have some? She pictured Jamie rough-housing with a son of his own, the way she saw Kyle play with Kamden, and smiled. It was an adorable picture, one she hoped could someday be a reality.

“What were you smiling about?” Jamie asked her in the car a few minutes later, once she’d thanked her parents for their gifts and dinner and told them goodbye. “When you hugged your brother… you were smiling weird at me.”

“What, I’m not allowed to smile at my fiancée?” Claire asked in mock defense, shooting Jamie a teasing grin. “I was just thinking… Kyle and Amber and Kamden make such a cute little family, don’t they? I hope that we’ll be happy that way, the way they are… and the way my parents are and your parents…”

“Were.”

“Were,” Claire repeated, swallowing hard as she thought of Jamie’s father. “I’m just saying, they seemed like they had a really great marriage, and they raised two wonderful sons.” She reached out and put her hand over his as it lingered over the gearshift, letting the car sit in park. “I want us to have the same thing.”

“What, sons?” Jamie asked, raising his eyebrows as he looked over at her.

She cocked her own brow and smiled slyly. “Or daughters…”

“As long as I can teach them to play soccer, either’s fine with me,” Jamie grinned.

Her heart leapt with excitement. “So, kids…?”

“Do I want them? Of course. Are we going to have them? You bet. I didn’t jack off into a little cup at the sperm bank a few years ago for nothing, you know. I expect those embryos you had frozen to be put to good use.” He winked.

Smirking, she shook her head at the oddness of it all. “When you did that for me… did you ever think they’d really be your babies after all? I mean, beyond the biology… did you ever think we might end up raising them together, as a married couple?”

It seemed so ironic to her. She’d let Jamie be her sperm donor only because she was single at the time, and the only other option was an anonymous donor. He had volunteered because he was her friend, no strings attached. For a long time, she’d been afraid she’d made a mistake in accepting his offer because of the awkwardness it might cause with the man she would eventually choose to start a family with. She’d once thought that man was Nick, and it certainly had caused a rift between them. And yet, after all was said and done, here she was, engaged to Jamie after all. It was as if it were meant to be all along.

Jamie’s answer made her believe that all the more. He smiled, his dimples showing, and replied, “Maybe you never thought that in your wildest dreams… but I’ll admit, I dreamed it.”

She looked into his big blue eyes, feeling her heart flutter the way it had when she had crushed on him in high school. “You did?”

He leaned over, across the console, and kissed her cheek sweetly. “I always knew I was an idiot for letting you go. I guess at some point I started hoping that if I made up for it, you’d come back.”

“Guess it worked, huh?” she said wryly and kissed him back.

The ringer on her cell phone startled them apart. “Whoops, hang on,” said Claire, rummaging through her purse for the phone. When she saw Nick’s name on the caller ID, she immediately punched a button and put the phone to her ear. “Hey!”

“Hey, happy birthday!” Nick greeted her.

Claire smiled, pressing the phone closer to her ear. “Thanks! I just got done with my birthday dinner with the family.”

“Ah, sounds fun. Bet it was better than the mac and cheese Brian cooked for dinner,” joked Nick. In the background, Claire could just barely make out Brian shouting an offended, “Hey!” She laughed, and Nick added, “Just kidding – Bri makes a mean mac and cheese.”

The way he was talking struck her as funny, and she asked suddenly, “Hey, where are you??”

She could hear the smile in his voice as he replied, “Home. Just got discharged this morning.”

“That’s great!” she exclaimed, the news making her birthday seem all the happier. “So are you starting to feel better?”

At that point, she saw Jamie’s head whip towards her out of the corner of her eye, as if he had suddenly just realized who she was talking to. She purposely kept her eyes straight ahead, refusing to meet his questioning gaze.

“Yeah, a little… I think it’s gonna take longer than I’d like to get back to one hundred percent, but… you know…”

“I hear ya. Well, if there’s anything I can do for you, let me know, okay?” As she spoke, Jamie shifted the car into reverse and pulled out of their parking spot, revving the engine as he threw it into drive and took off.

“Sure,” said Nick. “I’ll be fine though… got Howie and Brian here with me for the time being.”

“That’s good.”

They chatted for another minute, making the usual small talk, and then got off the phone. As she slid her cell back into her purse, Jamie asked in a low voice, “Nick?”

“Yes,” said Claire evenly. “He was just calling to wish me a happy birthday.”

“That’s nice. How’s he doing?”

“Better. He’s out of the hospital at least.”

“That’s good.”

Claire smiled, thankful he hadn’t made any digs at Nick. She couldn’t take much of the whole jealousy game they liked to play with each other. She knew things would always be awkward between Jamie and Nick because of her and the history she had with both of them, but all she wanted was to be able to marry Jamie and still stay friends with Nick. Maybe that was asking too much, but she really hoped it would work. With a little maturity on both of their parts and some refereeing on hers, it could. It would have to, because while she couldn’t wait to start a family with Jamie, the kind of bond she had with Nick was special, and she didn’t want to lose that.

As Jamie guided the car back to his apartment, Claire fell deep into thought, her mind turning from Nick to Jamie and wedding plans and children…

A smile graced her lips as she watched the city lights fly by her window, twirling the Claddagh ring around her finger.

***