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Chapter 157

“So how was your day?” asked Jamie that evening, as he and Claire sat down to the dinner she had hastily thrown together.

“It was fine…” Claire spoke carefully, knowing she could not tell him about the rollercoaster of emotions Nick’s new album had sent her on. He wouldn’t have been surprised to hear how she had driven around aimlessly, wanting to both smile and cry as she listened to Nick’s music – after all, she was pregnant, and hormones would do that to a woman. But he could never know how her heart was pulling her in all directions. He would never understand how she could love him and miss Nick at the same time.

Jamie raised an eyebrow. “Nothing happened, did it? I mean, everything’s okay… with you, and with the babies… right?”

Claire had to smile. He was always asking about her and the babies, making sure she was feeling okay, as if she didn’t know how to take care of herself. “Oh yeah, everything’s great! You know, that pregnancy book I got was right – second trimester is awesome. No more morning sickness, and I’m starting to feel them move more and more. It’s amazing.”

Watching her, Jamie’s eyes took on an extra sparkle. He always lit up when they talked about the babies; Claire knew he was in love with the both of them already. “Good. I just hope you’re taking it easy.”

“I am,” she said patiently.

“Just checking.” Jamie smiled easily. “So, what did you do today?”

“Well… I did some laundry… I watched some TV… I fixed dinner… I went to K-Mart…”

“Ah, K-Mart. Always an event.”

“Oh, it was the highlight of my day,” Claire played along with a teasing smile. “They had a blue light special on cat food.”

“Bright will appreciate that.” Jamie grinned. A few feet away, his gray cat’s ears twitched at the sound of her name. “Yeah, that’s right; we’re talking about you, baby,” he cooed to the feline. “Mommy picked you up some more food.”

Claire wrinkled her nose. “I am not that thing’s ‘mommy,’” she told Jamie, trying hard to keep a straight face. “You better quit that when the babies come, or our kids are going to grow up thinking that cat is their sister.”

“Well, of course she is,” Jamie cooed in the same sugary voice he always used with the cat. “Bright can’t wait till her baby brothers get here.” He gave Claire a playful wink.

She smirked in amusement. “Brothers, huh? Do you know something I don’t? You think we’re gonna have twin boys?”

“Just wishful thinking.” He grinned again, and she laughed.

“Well, personally, I’d love one of each. Don’t you want a Daddy’s little girl?” asked Claire.

“Of course, honey,” Jamie assured her. “I’m just playing; you know I already love them, whether they’re girls or boys.”

Claire smiled. She knew it, but she also knew that Jamie was secretly hoping for a boy, at least one. Typical guy; he wanted a son. She also suspected that he was dying to know the sex of their twins, but she was old-fashioned and wanted to be surprised, so they had told her OB to keep it a secret until the babies were born.

“If we do have a girl, maybe we could name her Patricia, after my dad. You know… Patricia… Patrick.” Jamie looked at her hopefully. “We could call her Patti for short. Or Tricia.”

Claire wondered how best to hint at Jamie that she didn’t like the name Patricia, without hurting his feelings. It was a sweet gesture, naming their daughter after his late father, but… “Don’t you remember Patricia Barnes, from high school? She was a Tricia.”

“The cheerleader? She was hot,” said Jamie with a smirk.

Claire gave him a look. “She was a bitch. I could never call my daughter Tricia and not think of her. Why don’t we just see if we have a son, and name him Patrick?”

Jamie hesitated, making a face. “Well… I just think a kid called Patrick would get picked on nowadays.”

“What?! Why??” Claire laughed. “Patrick is a common name!”

“Not anymore. When was the last time you met a kid named Patrick? Anyway, what would we call him for short? Pat? That just makes me think of that SNL sketch… you know, Pat, the he-she.”

Claire snorted. “Jamie! Pat was your dad’s name!”

“I know, I know, but he was born way before SNL; his parents didn’t know any better,” said Jamie matter-of-factly. “We do.”

“Okay, okay, so no Patrick. Well, maybe we could use one or the other as a middle name for one of them; how about that?” she suggested.

“That sounds good,” Jamie agreed with a nod, and they exchanged a smile, pleased with the compromise.

Beneath the table, Claire rested her hand on her belly, marveling over the fact that the child they were discussing was growing inside of her right now, along with its twin. In a matter of months, there would be two highchairs at this table, and two more mouths to feed. What would the twins, boys or girls, be like? What would they name them? She and Jamie didn’t yet have names, or highchairs, and with a start, she realized how much work there was left to do before the babies arrived.

“You know, we really need to get to work on the babies’ room,” she mentioned to Jamie. “We should go shopping and pick out some stuff we like so I can get us on some of those gift registries. Things are gonna get so busy with the holidays coming up; I want to make sure we’re all ready once it gets closer to time.”

Jamie smiled and nodded. “We will be. Let’s go shopping this weekend. We’ll have to, cause next weekend I’m going to be busy packing…” He trailed off, smirking at her in a way that told her his off-handed comment was actually quite significant.

“Packing??” she repeated. “Packing for what?”

“I just found out today, I’m going on a business trip to Mississippi, the week after next.”

“A business trip?” Claire was surprised. “You never take business trips…”

“I do now,” Jamie said, smirking again. “It’s a part of the new job, one of the reasons I’m being paid more than I was in Tampa. Sometimes I have to travel.”

Claire stared at him, wondering how she could have missed that detail of his new position. “You didn’t tell me that…”

“Sorry. I wasn’t sure when I would start, but my boss thinks I’m doing great work around here, so he wants to send me to Biloxi, Mississippi. There’s a new church going up there, and they need some good insurance. It’s actually a rebuild of a church that was destroyed in Hurricane Katrina, and they’ve just now raised enough money to rebuild.”

“And they’re going through a company in Des Moines?”

“We’re the leading insurer of churches, sweetheart. We’ve got clients all across the country. This won’t be the first time I’ll have to travel to meet with one.”

Claire frowned. “Again, something you failed to mention to me when you took this job.”

“I didn’t take the job; I was transferred,” Jamie said, none-too-patiently. “Listen, this is a good thing for us, honey. It means more money, and there are all kinds of perks. I get reimbursed for all my travel expenses, and look how many frequent flier miles I’ll rack up. That means we’ll be able to afford flying back to Tampa to visit your family more often.”

He spoke in a patronizing tone, as if he was explaining concepts she’d never heard of before. It was exasperating, but he’d known just what to say to keep her from getting too annoyed. Tampa. Her family. The magic words. He knew how much she missed them.

“Okay, so you’re going to Mississippi in two weeks. How long will you be there?”

“Well, I don’t need to be in Biloxi until the Monday after Halloween, but I thought I’d leave that Thursday before and spend a long weekend in Biloxi. I’ve got some buddies from college living in that area, and I thought it’d be good to catch up. Then I’ll be working Monday and Tuesday, and I’ll fly back Wednesday. How does that sound?”

Claire blinked. “So you only need to be gone for three days, but instead you’re going to go for a week so you can party with your friends over Halloween and leave me here alone with nothing to do? Yeah, that sounds just spectacular.”

“Aww, come on, Clairie, don’t pout. I don’t give you crap about wanting to hang out with your friends.”

“What friends? All my friends are in Florida,” Claire snapped.

It was true; she had no real friends in Des Moines yet. Though she’d met some of the neighbors, it wasn’t like they hung out – the other women in the neighborhood either worked or were occupied with their young children all day, and Claire, without a job and without small children – yet – fit in with neither group. Besides Jamie, everyone she cared about was far away. The only one she’d seen since they had moved was Nick. And the thought of Nick brought something else to mind.

“And by the way, that is bullshit! You threw a fit when Nick came here to visit me, and the only reason he was here is because you weren’t. So don’t you dare say that I give you crap and you don’t!” she went on hotly.

“Fine, give me all the crap you want then. But if you see nothing wrong with staying in your ex-boyfriend’s hotel room while he’s here, you sure as hell shouldn’t have a problem with me catching up with friends in Mississippi, Claire.” Jamie glared at her, his eyes as stormy as his tone.

“You’re right. I don’t. Go to Mississippi; do what you want, Jamie.” Annoyed, Claire got up and went to the sink to rinse her plate. Jamie sat at the table and stewed.

Claire knew he had a point, but she was not about to pretend she was happy with the idea of him being out of town for a whole week when it could have just been three days. To be honest, she wasn’t thrilled about the idea of him taking business trips all the time either, and she was bothered by the realization that he’d never told her he was going to have to travel for his new job.

We really need to work on our communication, she thought, as she loaded the dishwasher. Who knew the things they would find to argue about once the twins were born. This constant arguing had to stop, before the babies arrived. She didn’t want her children to grow up in a house full of bickering and resentment. And sometimes, that’s how it seemed to be with Jamie and her. She loved him, and she knew he loved her, but sometimes they had funny ways of showing it. She worried that their problems were more deep-seeded than petty arguments about friends and business trips.

After dinner, Jamie retreated to the basement to watch football, and Claire finished cleaning up the kitchen and then got on the computer. She slipped Nick’s CD into the drive and listened to it on headphones as she checked her email and surfed through a few websites. Then she glanced at her AIM buddy list and saw Nick’s screen name. An0nym0us1980. It had always amused her, because Nick was anything but anonymous.

At first, she was surprised to see him online on the night of his album released, but then she realized he must be on his cell phone. She hesitated, staring at the screen name for a moment, and then she decided to IM him. What the hell, she thought, clicking on his name to pull up a new chat window. Even if he couldn’t chat, he would always get her text later. So she started typing a message.

“Hey! Don’t know if you’ll see this right away, but just wanted to tell you, I got the album…”

***

It was nearing seven o’clock by the time Nick got to go back to his hotel room, after a full day of promotional appearances and album signings. He enjoyed the publicity and the praise for his album, but the release day had been a long one, and he was tired and hungry and anxious for a break and some dinner. Opting not to dine out, he had his driver take him straight back to his hotel, looking forward to ordering room service and just eating in, a temporary refuge from all the people and publicity. He hoped that would be enough to refresh him for a night of partying to celebrate the album release.

Once he got some food into his empty stomach, Nick’s mood rose again, right along with his blood sugar, and when Laureen called at 7:30, he was ready to talk to people again. Not that Laureen was just anyone, anyway. She was more than just “someone” or “anyone.” She was…

Well, he wasn’t exactly sure what she was. But the last week had proven that she wasn’t just a fan, or Claire’s friend, or even purely his friend. True, they’d been acting like friends, hanging out pretty much every night the week he’d been at home in Tampa. But there was something more there, something beyond just friendship. He couldn’t get his mind off the kisses they’d shared, or how admired and cared about she made him feel.

When he was with her, Nick didn’t feel alone, in any sense. He knew he was with a person who truly cared about him, in the somewhat distanced way a fan would, and also in the much deeper, closer way a friend would. Laureen was both of those things to him, and more. She was also a woman, a woman who made him feel worthy of love and attraction, whenever she kissed him or blushed when he smiled at her. When he’d lost Claire, a small part of him had feared he would never find another woman who would react that way to him, and all of his attempts at finding such a woman after her had ultimately failed. He had no idea what would happen with Laureen and him, but right now, he was having fun and was willing to take a chance on her. She was a sweet girl, and he’d enjoyed spending time with her the week before.

So when he saw her name flashing on his phone, Nick found himself smiling. He answered right away, drawling a flirtatious “Helloooo?”

“Hi!” chirped Laureen. Just the sound of her voice made Nick smile. She was one of those people that was like the sun, beaming light onto whomever she talked to (and not in irritating way). She just had a way about her that instantly made him feel better. “Am I calling at a bad time? I know today’s probably been crazy for you…”

“Oh yeah, it’s been crazy, but in a good way. And you actually caught me at a perfect time,” Nick replied.

“Really? Wow! So what are you up to right now?”

“Just got done eating, and now I’m just hangin’ out in my hotel room, chillin’ until it’s time to go out.”

“Oh, awesome!” Laureen paused for just a second, and then she started gushing. “I love the album!! It’s amazing, just like I knew it would be!”

Noting the sincerity in her voice, Nick smiled. “Thank you. That means a lot.”

“Well, you’re welcome, but trust me, it won’t be the only time you hear it! I know the rest of the fans will love it too.”

Nick hoped she was right, but at the same time, it didn’t matter. Not really. He’d made the album more for himself than for anyone else, not even the fans, and he was proud of the work he’d done. That was all that really mattered. Still, he didn’t mind the compliments. “You’re sweet,” he told Laureen, smiling again. “So what are you doing right now?”

“Not too much,” she answered with a giggle. “Just hangin’ out… watching some show about ghosts on the Discovery Channel. They’re having a marathon – you know, for Halloween. It’s on a commercial though.”

“Ah, that’s always cool.” He tried to picture her, lounging on her bed or couch, though he’d never seen either, the remote in one hand and her phone in the other, her tousled auburn hair falling over her eyes…

“I know; I love that stuff!” she went on. “Halloween’s my favorite holiday. I love ghosts and graveyards and scary stuff.”

“Me too,” agreed Nick, realizing again how much they had in common. It was unexpected; he’d never considered that he and Laureen would have anything in common, besides a mutual friendship with Claire.

But as it turned out, they were alike in many ways, ways in which he and Claire had been quite opposites of one another. Laureen was musical and loved the ocean; she had tattoos, and now, her favorite holiday was Halloween. They were all small components of who she was, but combined together, they led Nick closer and closer to the conclusion that he and she might actually be quite compatible.

“Halloween’s comin’ up… maybe we should do something together, huh?” he suggested casually.

“I would love that!” Laureen sounded thrilled. “Will you be back in Tampa by then?”

“Planning on it, yeah. I should be home next week.”

“Oh, cool! We’ll have plenty of time to figure out what to do then.” She giggled, the way she tended to do when she was nervous. He smiled.

“Absolutely,” he assured her. That’s when his phone beeped, signaling that he had an instant message. “Ah, hang on, Laureen, I got a text.”

He heard her say “Okay” as he pulled the phone away from his ear, lowering it to look at the screen. A message was flashing, and when he looked at the screen name, he saw that it was from Claire.


Clairevoyance315: hey! Don’t know if you’ll see this right away, but just wanted to tell you, I got the album. I love it, Nick – it’s fantastic!!! Great songs, and your voice sounds amazing. I especially love “Live For You”… it’s beautiful J


Nick smiled at the words of praise. Even now, they meant a lot, coming from her. Despite everything, she was still a close friend, and so in a way, it was just expected that she would buy his album and tell him it was good. But Claire wasn’t one to throw out meaningless compliments or fake how she felt; he knew she was being sincere.

He wanted to thank her, and maybe chat for just a few minutes, so he put the phone back to his ear and said, “Hey, Laureen? Can I call you back in a few minutes?”

It was probably a low thing to do, trading one “friend” for another, but Laureen, always understanding, chirped, “Sure! I’ll be here,” and let him go.

Closing the connection with her, he switched to his buddy list and started keying in a reply to Claire.


An0nym0us1980: hey thanks! how u doin?


Claire’s reply came quickly.


Clairevoyance315: wow, you’re actually there! Thought you’d be busy partying. It’s not exactly a party here, but I’m fine. Fat and swollen and moody, but fine. J


When she IMed, he could always imagine her saying the words she typed. He could just hear her bitching about her puffy ankles and raging hormones and the fact that she could barely fit into her clothes. It would have been more charming if it had been his babies she was carrying, but he had to smile anyway.


An0nym0us1980: nah just hangin…. savin the parties 4 later tonite. should be good times

Clairevoyance315: it better be good times!

An0nym0us1980: haha.. so what r u up too?

Clairevoyance315: eh, not much. Same old crap going on here.


Nick frowned, trying to read between the lines on that one. It wasn’t too difficult.


An0nym0us1980: lemme guess.. by crap u mean jamie?

Clairevoyance315: found out tonight he’s going on a business trip to Mississippi in 2 weeks… and leaving 3 days early so he can party with some friends over Halloween. He’ll be gone a week, and I’m just pissed cause I don’t wanna be stuck here alone with nothing to do for that long. Especially over Halloween.

An0nym0us1980: that sux… im sorry. u shouldnt be alone 4 that long anyway


He was thinking of her pregnancy, and all the bad things that could happen. She’d had to terminate one of the pregnancies because of the threat of complications, and her doctor had still told her she was a high-risk case. If I were her husband, he told himself, I would never leave her by herself for a whole week.

Then he remembered all the times he had left her at his house in Tampa while he was working in LA. But that was different… she hadn’t been his wife then either, and she certainly hadn’t been pregnant with twins. And if she had wanted to come to LA, she could have. She’d chosen to stay in Tampa and work.


Clairevoyance315: oh, I’ll be fine. I’m just having a little pity party… don’t mind me. See, we’re both going to party tonight. J


The comment made Nick smile, but he still felt bad for her. She didn’t seem happy, and although he knew she was excited about the twins, she hadn’t seemed truly happy to him in a long time. It was Jamie’s fault, he thought. If only she would realize that and start changing things, for her own happiness and sanity.

And then a sobering thought struck him, sending a jolt through his stomach. Had she been this unhappy when she was with him? Had she spent nights like this throwing “pity parties” for herself during the long weeks when he had been away? He remembered how miserable she had sounded when she called him on the phone, close to tears, the day after her selective reduction procedure. Had she felt that alone when she’d written the note she had left on his stairs and made the decision to move out of his house?

Surely, the two situations were so different that she couldn’t possibly have felt that bad then… but still, Nick wondered. He had always intended to treat her like a queen, but maybe he hadn’t done enough. Maybe he hadn’t been there enough for her either. She had hurt him terribly by leaving, but maybe he’d hurt her by not being there in the first place.

For as strong and independent as she seemed, there was a side of Claire that longed for companionship. When she was with someone, she wanted to be with them, not separated by days and miles. Those were what had split them up… the days apart and the miles between them.

Still miles away from her now, Nick sighed, staring down at her message. Her usual light-heartedness was there in the text, but beyond it, he knew she wasn’t really smiling. Not the kind of smile that reached her eyes and lit up her face, anyway. He hadn’t seen her smile like that in a long time.


An0nym0us1980: i wish u could be here to party with me. no offense but mine sounds more fun.


He was joking and he wasn’t. He really did wish she was here, so that he could take her mind off of Jamie and hopefully cheer her up.


Clairevoyance315: haha… me too. Yours definitely sounds more fun.


Nick smiled grimly, the wheels in his head starting to turn. Maybe he could find a way to cheer her up while Jamie was away. He could make up for not being there with her near the end of their relationship by being there for her now.

He typed “brb” into the phone and pulled up his list of contacts over their messages. Scrolling quickly through the long list, he found Laureen’s name and set the phone to dial her number.

“Hey, it’s me again. Sorry for the delay,” he said into the phone when Laureen answered.

“Oh, no problem!” she replied earnestly. “So what’s up?”

“Actually…” He smirked, pausing for dramatic effect. “I think I’ve got an idea for what we can do for Halloween together.”

“Ooh, really? What??” She sounded eager, and he hoped she’d be up for what he was currently plotting.

Nick cleared his throat. “Well… how would you feel about spending it in the Midwest?”

“Home for Halloween? That’s a new one, but hey, it works for me. As long as I can get off work, I’m there!” Laureen exclaimed. “Can I ask why you want to spend Halloween in the Midwest?”

Grinning, Nick replied, “I’ll tell you,” and filled her in on the plan he’d thought up not five minutes earlier. Lucky for him, Laureen liked spontaneity as much as he did.

That was one more thing they had in common.

***