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Chapter 163

Nick and Laureen were walking into the maternity ward when Laureen’s Sidekick suddenly sprang to life.

“If you want it to be good girl, get yourself a-”

Flushing flame red, Laureen slapped at a button on the phone, silencing Nick’s nasally, prepubescent screeching. Cupping her hand over the mouthpiece, she whispered, “Wow, I should really change that ringtone.”

“What?!” Nick feigned innocence. “Are you saying you’re embarrassed of my song? That song almost won us a Grammy!”

Not buying it for a second, Laureen just giggled and glanced down at her Sidekick again. “It’s Dianna,” she realized and quickly put the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

His stomach knotting up, Nick stopped and positioned himself to listen to Laureen’s end of the conversation. It was not a time to be joking around; Claire was somewhere in this hospital, in this very wing, possibly facing the loss of her children.

And yet, a part of him felt less worried than he had when they’d touched down in St. Petersburg. The dream he’d had in the cab, oddly enough, had relaxed him. He had dreamed that Claire was alright, that her babies had survived. It had to be a sign that she was really going to be okay.

Then again, based on that logic, Jamie had a prosthetic beatdown, two car accidents, an amputation, a stint as a sex slave to a freak with a fetish, a plane crash, and leprosy to look forward to.

Nick smirked and sighed at the same time, trying to focus on what Laureen was saying to Claire’s best friend.

“… She is? Really?? Oh, thank god… that’s good to know.” Laureen paused, and Nick saw a smile spread across her face. “Actually, we’re already here. Yeah, in Tampa. We’re at the hospital; we just got here. Yeah, Nick wanted to come.” Laureen giggled. “Okay. Alright, I will. Thanks for calling. Yeah, you too. Bye.”

She snapped her phone shut, dropped it into her bag, and smiled at Nick. “Claire’s okay,” she announced. “Dianna said Jamie just called; they were able to stop her labor. She’s going to be under observation for awhile, but this is good news.”

Nick let out a breath of relief. “Yeah, it is. Thank god. I thought Claire could handle anything, but with all the emotional shit he’s put her through lately, I honestly don’t think she could handle losing those babies.”

Laureen nodded sadly, but then a smile crept to the corner of her mouth. “Dianna said that you’re sweet, for still caring about her as much as you do. She admires you for that.”

Nick arched an eyebrow skeptically. “Really? I didn’t think Dianna admired much of anything about me.”

“She’s Claire’s friend, and so are you. You’ve got mutual concerns.” Shrugging, Laureen added, “And hey… maybe she’s realized what an asshole Jamie is too. Even if she didn’t like you before, she’d have to realize that anyone looks good compared to that guy.”

Nick laughed. “Gee, thanks… I think.” He smiled teasingly, realizing he felt a lot better already, just knowing that Claire was alright. “So Jamie’s probably lurking around here somewhere then, isn’t he? Should be interesting when he sees us.”

Laureen rolled her eyes. “He can’t control who she sees. We’re her friends; we have a right to be here if she want us to be.”

“Damn straight,” agreed Nick, and they kept walking, looking for the room number the receptionist downstairs had given them. “If he tries to give us any crap, I’ma beat him down with my leg, alright? It’s solid titanium.” He thrust his artificial leg into the wall of the empty hallway for effect. Unfortunately, the only effect it had was to throw him off balance. As he stumbled and caught himself, Laureen giggled.

“I would sure love to see that.”

“Me too,” Nick smirked. “But I guess it’ll only happen in my dreams.”

Laureen smiled and slipped her hand into his as they continued down the hall.

***

Claire wanted to feign sleep when Jamie came back into the room, but she knew it wouldn’t work; he hadn’t been gone long enough for her to fall into a deep, fitful sleep that would last until morning.

“Dianna sounded relieved,” he announced, setting his phone down on her bedside table. “She said to tell you she’s thinking about you.”

Claire managed a smile. “Thanks for calling her back.”

“Sure.”

He sank back down in his chair beside her bed, and she rolled slowly away from him, holding onto her stomach as she shifted positions. All of her movements were ginger now, for she was terrified of doing anything to put the babies in distress and start up her labor again. She found a comfortable position on her right side, lying with her back to Jamie, and pulled her covers up around her in what she thought was a pretty direct hint that she wanted to sleep. She wasn’t really sure if she could, but she was tired of having Jamie hover over her, feeling his overprotective eyes on her as she lay helpless in bed, unable to stop what was happening to her anymore than he could.

Now that the labor had stopped, she wished he would just go back to Kyle and Amber’s or over to his brother’s house to sleep. But so far, she had not made this suggestion yet. She didn’t want him to think she was pushing him away, even if she was. It wasn’t anything personal; she just wanted to be alone.

After a few minutes of silence, Jamie seemed to take the hint. Clearing his throat, he asked awkwardly, “Um, do you want me to go? So you can sleep?”

Rolling carefully onto her back, so that she could turn her head and look at him, Claire offered her husband a grateful smile. “I could use some time alone,” she admitted. “I don’t want you to sit up and keep a vigil while I sleep. You should go back to Kyle and Amber’s and get some sleep.”

Just as she’d expected, Jamie seemed to hesitate.

“I’ll be fine,” she insisted, when he didn’t react immediately. “And if anything isn’t fine, you know I’ll call you. These are our babies; I don’t want to go through anything with them without you here. It’s just, I can’t sleep with you hovering over me, and you need to rest too so you can keep me company in the morning.” She flashed him a sweet smile, and he finally relented.

“Alright,” he agreed, nodding. Bending over her, he planted a soft kiss on her forehead and murmured, “Get some sleep then. I’ll be back in the morning.”

“You better be,” she replied with a teasing smile, briefly touching his cheek. His dark stubble prickled against her fingertips as she let them trail lightly down his face. “I love you,” she added, stressing the words with conviction, for herself as much as for him.

“I love you too,” he returned, smiling down at her. “Take it easy.”

“I will. I don’t think they’d like me doing jumping jacks on the hospital bed anyway,” she joked, winking.

His smile was grim. “See you in the morning,” he promised again, and he gathered his wallet and phone and got ready to leave.

Claire started to roll over again, listening to his footsteps as he walked over to the door and opened it. Then the footsteps stopped and didn’t start again. And then she heard his voice say, “Ohhh no. You are not here right now. Don’t even tell me…”

“Sorry,” said another voice, an equally familiar one, “but unless this is another dream, I am here. What are you gonna do about it?”

His tone was low and flat, but undeniably Nick. Claire sat up more quickly than she had moved all evening, craning her neck to look over Jamie’s shoulder, out into the hall. Sure enough, he was there, the one person who could always make her feel better in times of crisis.

“Nick.” She spoke his name, her voice projecting into the hallway.

Jamie turned, his eyes cold. He glanced back at Nick, then at Claire, and he took a step back into the room. “You knew he was coming,” he accused. “You called him, didn’t you? When I was out of the room. That’s why you wanted me to leave! And I actually bought it too; I actually thought you just wanted to sleep. Shows what I know, right? I should have guessed, Claire. Can’t turn my back without your beloved Backstreet Boy coming to the rescue.”

Claire’s mouth dropped open, her eyes widening with anger, because it couldn’t have been further from the truth. Well, okay, that Backstreet Boy coming to the rescue part had happened a few times recently, but other than that, it was bullshit. She’d had no idea Nick was coming. How had he even found out what was going on? She wanted to ask, but first there was the matter of her husband basically accusing her of being an adulteress; at least that’s what he was making it sound like.

“How dare you?!” she fired back, refusing to be treated like a sneak and a slut. “I never called him; I had no idea he was coming here! Shows how much faith you have in me, that you would think I did, Jamie!”

“How do I know that? How do I know you didn’t call him, just like you did the last time something went wrong?”

“You can check my fucking cell phone records if you want; I didn’t call him,” Claire snapped. “But I shouldn’t have to prove that to you. You should have more trust in me than that!”

“She didn’t call me,” Nick jumped in to her defense, taking a step into the room. He looked warily between Claire and Jamie. “Dianna did,” he said, speaking to Jamie. “Actually, she called Laureen. Laureen was with me. We came together, because we both care about Claire.”

He turned, glancing briefly over his shoulder, and then moved aside. Behind him, Laureen appeared, stepping into the room. Claire’s anger softened at the sight of two of her closest friends, and she offered Laureen a brief smile. The smile was short-lived, because before she could say anything to them, Jamie started in again.

“Oh, I’ll bet you do, Carter. I know how much you care about my wife.”

“Don’t start in with that ‘my wife’ shit, Jamie,” Claire interjected before he could go further. “You don’t have to act so goddamn possessive; you know I hate that!! He meant he cares about me as a friend; that’s all it is!” She looked to Nick for acknowledgment, and he nodded, returning with a thin smile.

“Oh sure, that’s what you both say, but the truth is, he’d love to have you back as more than just his friend,” Jamie retorted accusingly, his eyes flashing dangerously at Nick.

“I’ve got a girlfriend, thanks,” said Nick flatly, and he put his arm around Laureen, drawing her to him. Claire didn’t miss the fleeting look of surprise pass across Laureen’s face and wondered if this was news to her, too. But Nick looked sincere as he added, “But Claire is still my friend. Accept that or don’t; I don’t give a shit. But you’re not gonna push me out of her life as long as she wants me around.”

He looked at Claire, and she could detect just a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. He was looking for confirmation that she did, in fact, want him around. A wry smile crossed her lips. Hadn’t she just been spilling her guts to Amber about how much she still cared about Nick and wished she could call him?

“Of course I want you around. I want all of my friends around me,” said Claire, looking meaningfully from Nick to Laureen. Then her eyes returned to her husband. “Jamie, do you realize we could have lost both of our babies tonight? We need all the support and prayers we can get, alright? So can’t you please just get over this thing with Nick, please? For me, and for our children?”

Jamie’s jaw tightened, and she could see the emotions working across his face as he struggled between his love for her and their unborn children and his loathing of Nick. If he doesn’t agree… she thought, if he won’t put us ahead of this thing with Nick… then that’s it. It’s over. She couldn’t stay with a man who cared more about hating someone than loving her.

Thankfully, for the preservation of their marriage, Jamie gave a curt nod and extended a hand to Nick. “If she wants you to stay, then okay, Carter.”

Nick nodded his acknowledgement and briefly grasped Jamie’s hand. His eyes held a steely look that gave off the impression he would rather give Jamie a nice, hard Indian burn, but he remained cordial.

Jamie then glanced at Laureen. “Thanks for coming,” he said to her (and her only, Claire suspected). “We do appreciate your prayers.”

“Sure,” said Laureen softly, and that was all she said. Neither she, nor Nick, looked like they would have much else to say while Jamie was in the room.

Claire couldn’t help but wish her husband would leave so that she could actually talk to her friends. He was getting on her last nerve; she’d had enough of his possessiveness. Why did he have to act like such a jackass when Nick was around?

Finally, she couldn’t take the tension in the room any longer. “Jamie,” she spoke up, “it’s really late. You should go back to Kyle’s like you said you were going to and get some rest. Nick and Laureen are just going to stay for a few minutes to visit, and then they’ll leave too. A nurse will probably come along to kick them out soon anyway, since I’m sure visiting hours ended a long time ago.”

Jamie gave her a dark look, but he was clearly tired of arguing with her. “Alright,” he muttered. “Call if you need anything.”

“I will.”

He came back to her bedside and kissed her cheek. Then he pulled back, stopped, hesitated, and leaned down again, taking her chin in his hand and kissing her deeply on the lips. “I love you,” he made a point to say, and as horrible as it was, Claire couldn’t help but think that he’d only done it to smite Nick.

“Love you too,” she replied quietly, and though she meant it in her heart, her brain, the sensible part of her, was asking, Why? How could you love a man who tries to hurt people on purpose?

As she watched him walk out the door, she felt a tug of sadness deep inside her, as what she had been slowly realizing over the last few months became startlingly clear: the man she had married was not the same man she had fallen in love with all those years ago. The Jamie Turner that had been her high school sweetheart had never been so cruel, so biting and jealous and possessive.

He had changed. In the years they had been apart, before reuniting, life had changed him. Adulthood had changed him.

And she wondered, was she only in love with the person he had once been? And did she even know the man she had married? She thought she had, but it seemed she was only now being introduced to him, piece by ugly piece.

***

Nick watched Claire’s face closely as Jamie kissed her and left. It did not hold the expression of a woman who deeply loved her husband and was sad to see him go. Instead, Claire just looked… sad.


Yeah, I know it hurts
Yeah, I know you’re scared
Walking down the road that leads
To who knows where…


“Are you okay?” he asked quietly, once a few seconds had passed since Jamie’s departure.

Claire gave a dry chuckle. “In what way? Physically? Well…” She held up her left hand, into which an IV had been threaded, and gestured vaguely to all of the medical equipment that surrounded her, keeping track of everything… all of her vital signs and the babies’ too. It was sort of sad, thought Nick, that he could now look at just about every one of those monitors and know exactly what it was tracking.

“And emotionally?” she continued, without really answering her first question. “I’m beginning to realize that I married a jackass. Does that answer your question?”

With anyone else, Nick wouldn’t dare make a joke at a time like this, but even though her words were grim, he could hear a note of sarcastic humor in them. Jumping on this, he replied, “You’re just now figuring out that Jamie’s a jackass?” Next to him, Laureen stifled a giggle, and, encouraged, Nick went on, “All that chemo must have killed off more of your brain cells than I thought.”

Claire smiled. “That would be a convenient excuse. Let’s go with that one, okay?”

“Your call,” Nick agreed, grinning. He was just happy to hear her admit it, that Jamie was a total jackass. It was about freaking time she clued in to what he had known for years.

He extended his grin to Laureen, who looked both amused and leery of seeming amused. “Laureen’s not used to our hospital talk, Ren,” he said, winking at Claire. The use of her nickname, bestowed upon her years ago by AJ, made the corners of Claire’s mouth twitch upwards.

Claire shrugged apologetically at Laureen. “Me and Stumpy over there talk about pretty much anything. Don’t mind us. It just comes with the territory. After enough of this shit, you have to make jokes about it, or you’ll go crazy.”

Laureen giggled good-naturedly, but Nick could see that she was feeling slightly awkward. And who could blame her? The whole situation was awkward. Claire’s husband had left, at her request, leaving her with her ex and his new girlfriend – if, in fact, that’s what Laureen was now; he wasn’t sure – in a hospital room in the middle of the night.

It wasn’t just awkward; it was downright weird. And yet, somehow, for Nick and Claire, it didn’t seem that unusual.

For Laureen’s sake, though, they quit the dark-humored banter and got down to the real reason he and Laureen had come. How was she really? What had the doctors said about her pregnancy and her babies? What had caused her to go into labor this early? And how were they going to keep it from happening again?

Nick asked more questions than he probably should have, given the fact that he was just the “friend” and the “ex,” not her husband, nor the father of her babies, but he was genuinely concerned, knowing how much she had gone through to get pregnant in the first place and fearing how much it would wreck her to lose the pregnancy, after all of that. Claire, never one to shy away from giving information, answered everything frankly and openly, though the truth was that there really weren’t many answers. No one knew what had caused this to happen, and it sounded like no one really knew how to prevent it from happening again.

“I’m afraid they’re going to put me on bed rest though,” sighed Claire. “I’ve read the books, I’ve been to the pregnancy forums, and it seems like that’s usually the case when something goes wrong. And seeing as how I’m technically not supposed to be due until March, that means…” She counted wearily on her fingers. “… four months stuck in bed.”

“Fun,” Nick replied sarcastically. “I laid around for, what, four weeks, after they chopped off my leg? And I wasn’t even stuck in bed; I could at least crutch my ass around the house. And it still blew.”

“Gee, thanks for the words of encouragement,” Claire teased. “Yeah, it’s gonna suck alright, if that’s what ends up happening. But hey, for my babies, I’ll do whatever it takes. I can’t lose this pregnancy, Nick.”


Don’t you hang your head
Don’t you give up yet
When courage starts to disappear
I will be right here…


He saw her hand reach beneath the covers to rest upon her belly, and he saw the look of fear in her eyes. He wished there was something he could say to reassure her, but there was nothing. This was something neither one of them had any control over.

Perching on the edge of her mattress, he put his hand on her shoulder and looked down into her face. “Keep the faith, alright? You’ve been through scary stuff before, and you’ve always made it through. You’re strong, Claire. Your body is strong, and so is your spirit. Just stay strong like that for your kids, and I think everything will be alright. You don’t deserve anything less.”

“Sometimes bad things happen, whether we deserve them or not,” murmured Claire, and he saw her eyes fall upon his left leg. “But thank you, Nick. I hope you’re right.”


Everybody cries, everybody bleeds
No one ever said that life’s an easy thing
That’s the beauty of it
When you lose your way
Close your eyes and go to sleep
And wake up to another day…


“Claire, no matter what happens, we’ll be here for you,” spoke up Laureen earnestly.


When your world breaks down
And the voices tell you, turn around
When your dreams give out
I will carry you…


“Absolutely,” Nick agreed. “If you do get put on bed rest, we’ll start up the Monopoly marathon, Round 2. One of us will actually have a shot at winning without Howie around to take over all the good properties.”

Claire cracked a smile. “I dunno… it might end up being the Laureen Legion of… well, damn, I can’t think of another L-word. But it would be like the Dorough Dominion of Doom.”

Laureen laughed loudly, and Nick joined in, surprised that Claire still remembered the Monopoly games they’d played while he was sick in bed with a healing stump for a leg and a body pumped full of chemo. He felt that if anyone could empathize with her being stuck in bed, he could. And as she had helped to keep him entertained back then, he would gladly do the same for her, if she would let him.

Everything was an “if” now. They would just have to wait and see.

The waiting game, thought Nick tiredly. It was definitely not as enjoyable as Monopoly.


When the stars go blind
And the darkness starts to flood your eyes
When you’re fallin’ behind
I will carry you

You should know now that you’re not alone
Take my heart and we will find
You will find your way home

- “I Will Carry You” by Clay Aiken


***