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Chapter 18

Two days later, Nick was still reveling over the fact that he’d actually convinced Claire to move in with him, that after all the grief she’d given him over the issue, she had finally just up and said she would. But that was Claire. Like AJ had said, she was practical… but at the same time, she was also spontaneous. Nick swore she just liked to give him a hard time, mess with his mind a little, and then eventually give him what he wanted. It wasn’t the first time she had done so.

He’d been slightly afraid she was going to change her mind, but she hadn’t seemed to yet. The real test would be getting through the weekend though. They were driving to Gainesville that day to visit Claire’s parents, and Claire had promised to tell them Nick’s and her intentions to move in together. Afraid as he was that her parents were going to change her mind about the whole deal, Nick understood. Unlike him, she was close with her family, and he knew she wanted her parents’ blessings before she made this move. It was the same thing he’d been denied of when he’d moved out of his own family’s home at the age of eighteen. That was what had first alienated him from his mother, and even though these circumstances were different, he didn’t want to see something like that happen to Claire.

The drive to Gainesville was about two and a half hours, but as they entered the city limits, Nick found himself wishing it could have been longer. He had to admit, he was slightly nervous about staying with Claire’s parents for the weekend. At least it wouldn’t be his first time meeting them, but still, it had been over a year and a half since he’d seen them, when Claire was in the hospital following her transplant. A lot had changed since then, with him, with her, with their relationship. He hoped her family would still be as nice as he remembered them.

“This their neighborhood?” Nick asked, as Claire turned into a nice subdivision made up of large and moderate-sized homes that all appeared fairly new.

“Yep, this is it,” answered Claire, as Nick looked out the passenger side window, watching all of the spacious green lawns melt into each other as the houses passed by. “It’s mostly retired people… I keep telling them they’re turning into old farts.”

Nick snickered. “I’m sure they appreciate that.”

Claire hung a right, and then a left, following the curving road a ways until she came to a white house sprawled across a well-kept, nicely landscaped lawn. “This is the place,” she said, pulling into the poured concrete driveway. She parked behind a red jeep that was already in the drive and turned off her engine. She and Nick both climbed out of the car, and he fell back, letting her lead the way up a curving footpath to the front door.

The door swung open before Claire had even reached out to press the doorbell, and there stood her older brother, Kyle. He was in his early thirties and had the build of a football lineman – broad-shouldered, bulky, and slightly taller than Nick. He could have appeared intimidating, but his family resemblance to Claire made him less so – same red hair, just a shade darker; same blue eyes; and same fair skin, although his was more freckled from being out in the sun.

“Heya, Claire-Bear,” he greeted his sister, pulling her in for a big bear hug. Nick hung back, smirking at the nickname, until Kyle let go of Claire and reached out to him. “Good to see you again, Nick,” he said.

“You too, man,” replied Nick, and they casually shook hands.

“Well, come on through the house – Mom, Dad, and Amber are out back,” Kyle said, ushering Nick and Claire inside. “Do you guys have bags you want me to bring in?”

Claire waved him off. “Eh, we’ll get them later. Come on back with us.” She led the way through the interior of the house. It was very tidy and nicely-decorated, done mostly in neutral shades and soft pastels. The living room led into the kitchen, which led to a small, screened-in sun porch that extended off the back of the house. Claire’s parents and Kyle’s wife, whom Nick had met only once before, were sitting on the porch.

Claire’s parents, Kris and Carrie, rose immediately to meet them, alternating between hugging Claire and saying hello to Nick.

“Have a seat,” said her father Kris, clapping Nick on the back as he motioned to a pair of empty wicker chairs, padded with flowered cushions. Claire took Nick’s hand, and they sat down, while Kyle joined his wife Amber on the matching wicker loveseat. Carrie poured them tall glasses of iced tea from a pitcher, and the six of them made small talk. Listening to Claire and her father swap dentist stories, Nick could see that the two of them were close. He knew she had gone into the dental field mostly because her dad was a dentist. Meanwhile, he learned that Kyle and Amber were both teachers – he taught high school history (and coached the football team), and she taught first grade. Nick mostly listened rather than talked, as Kyle talked about football camp that summer, and Amber shared cute stories about her first graders, who were growing antsy with spring fever and the anticipation of summer break. He found he didn’t have a lot to say – after all, he didn’t know what it was like to hold a regular, 9-5 kind of job, and there wasn’t much he could say about his own career, which had been at a standstill for the last six months.

After awhile, Claire got up. “Let’s go bring our stuff in,” she said to Nick as she stretched, “and I can show you our room for the night.”

Nick perked up at the words “our room,” having envisioned himself stuck on a sofa bed or something for the night. “Okay,” he said, following Claire back through the house and outside to her car. She opened up her trunk and hauled out their two bags, handing him his to carry inside.

“Right this way,” she said, as if she were a tour guide, leading him through the living room and turning into a hallway that led to what Nick assumed were the bedrooms. One wall in the hall was filled with family pictures, and he stopped momentarily to look at them.

“This you?” he asked, smiling at a picture of what had to be her as a little girl… red hair in a ponytail on the side of her head, freckles dotting her nose and cheeks, her two front teeth missing as she grinned at the camera.

Claire stopped to look at the picture he was pointing out and snorted. “Yep, that’s me… my first grade school picture.”

He chuckled and continued slowly down the hall, gazing over all the pictures. He stopped at another one near the end of the line, a professional portrait of a much-older Claire. He could tell it was a few years old, but she looked beautiful in it, dressed sophisticatedly and posed perfectly, with just a hint of a smile on her lips and long hair falling over her shoulder.

“That’s one of my senior pictures, from high school,” she said, glancing back at it.

“Your hair was long then,” he commented.

“Yeah, it was, wasn’t it? Wow, I haven’t had hair that long in awhile. That was before it all fell out,” she said with a little laugh. “Come on.” She led him through an open doorway and into a small bedroom with a double bed in the center. “This is ours for the night,” she told him, dropping her bag on the floor in the center of the room.

“Cool,” he said, dropping his as well.

They hung around the house until dinner was ready and then joined the rest of Claire’s family around a crowded dining room table. As dishes were passed, and plates were filled, Nick found himself wondering when the last time he’d sat down to a nice “family” dinner like this. He had joined Howie’s family for dinner the previous Christmas Eve, but it had been years since his own family had been all together for dinner. In a way, he envied Claire for having a family nearby that she was close to, just as a part of him had always envied Brian, Kevin, Howie, and AJ for the same reason.

Before anyone started eating, Kyle cleared his throat and said, “Um, not to keep us from our meal, but Amber and I have an announcement to make.”

Nick caught the exchange of smiles between Kyle and his wife and smiled himself, waiting for their “announcement.”

Taking Kyle’s hand on top of the table, Amber said, “We just found out a few weeks ago… we’re having a baby!”

Carrie let out a little gasp of excitement, and Kris sort of chuckled, grinning broadly at his son.

“Ahh, so that means I’m going to be an aunt!” Claire exclaimed, and Nick smiled over at her. He noticed everyone else’s eyes shift to her as well, only without the smiles. He could have sworn he saw some of the sparkle of excitement leave Carrie’s eyes as she studied her daughter, and Amber suddenly looked nervous, twisting her hands around on the table top and just barely biting her bottom lip.

Nick looked around in confusion, but he didn’t have a chance to ask what had just happened, for Kyle chose that moment to say abruptly, “Well, we just wanted to tell you while everyone’s here together. But don’t let the food get cold on account of us – let’s eat.” He plunged his spoon into the heap of mashed potatoes on his plate and took a bite. The others followed suit, starting on their dinner. Reluctantly, Nick joined in, still perplexed by the sudden mood change around the table.

He didn’t get a chance to question Claire about it until after dinner, when she slipped off to use the bathroom. He hung back in the hallway, waiting for her. As soon as she emerged from the bathroom, he grabbed her arm and pulled her into the guest bedroom, flipping on the light and closing the door behind them.

“What are you doing?” she asked, looking perplexed, as he led her over to the bed to sit down.

“What was going on at dinner?” he answered her question with a question of his own, sure that he appeared just as confused as she did.

“What do you mean?”

“Right after Kyle and Amber’s announcement, when you said you were gonna be an aunt. What the heck happened right after that? Was it just me, or was that really awkward?”

Claire rolled her eyes. “So you noticed it too. Gotta love their subtlety,” she remarked sarcastically.

“What do you mean – what were they trying to be subtle about?” he asked, furrowing his brow.

Claire sighed. “I probably should have told you this straight out, before we got serious, but… I dunno, I guess the right time never really came up, and when it did, it was still the wrong time…”

Huh? “What are you talking about?” he demanded, still totally confused and quite concerned. What had she been hiding from him?

She looked him in the eye and said quietly, “I’m sterile, Nick.”

It took a moment for him to register what this meant, and when it did hit him, all he could find to say was, “O-oh.” Good going, Carter, he thought. That was lame. Desperate for something else to say, he added, “Is it… from the chemo?”

She nodded solemnly. “Yeah, they told me before I went back on chemo after I relapsed a couple years ago that it would probably make me lose my fertility. And if that didn’t do it for sure, the transplant definitely did.”

He pursed his lips, studying her for a moment. “I’m sorry, Claire,” he said. “I didn’t know…”

“I didn’t expect you to. I didn’t tell you,” she replied, looking down at her hands, which sat limply in her lap. “I should have though, before now. It’s something you should have known before we got serious enough to move in together.” Looking back up at him, she added, “If it changes things for you, Nick, I understand.”

He frowned. “What do you mean, ‘things’? You mean like my feelings for you? Why would it?”

She shrugged. “It could, for some people… I know it would make a big difference in some relationships, knowing that one of the people couldn’t have children.”

“It doesn’t for me,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “I love you, Claire. That’s not gonna change, no matter what.”

She broke into a smile. “Thanks, Nick… I was hoping that’s what you would say, once you knew, but… you never know… I was kinda worried about it.”

He shook his head again and reached out for her, pulling her in for a warm hug. “You shouldn’t have worried about it at all,” he murmured into her ear, running his hand up and down her back. “You of all people should have known it wouldn’t make a difference in how I felt about you. I mean, you fell for me when I was bald and gross-looking, and you stayed by my side even after I lost my leg… I know a lot of women would have freaked out and ran at that point. But you didn’t. You stayed…”

She pulled back from his embrace and looked into his eyes, reaching up to take his face in her hands. “Of course I did,” she said, smiling tenderly. “Like you said… I love you. And that’s not gonna change, no matter what.” Leaning forward, she kissed him softly on the lips. “Thanks for understanding,” she whispered as she pulled back.

“Thanks for telling me,” he replied, squeezing her upper arm affectionately. “You ready to go back out and join the family?”

“Yeah, we better,” she said. “I hope they don’t think I’m back here pouting or something… I swear, my mom and Amber were both looking at me like they thought I was about to leap up from the table and run off in tears, out of jealousy or something.” She laughed. “Definitely not the case. I’m really happy for them… Amber’s gonna make a great mom.”

Nick nodded. “And you’d make a great mom someday too, Claire… you could always adopt a kid, you know.”

She smiled. “Oh, I know. That’s why I don’t look at it like it’s the end of the world. I still have plenty of options…”

He nodded again. “That’s a good way to look at it.”

“Yeah. It was kind of a blow at first, but I’ve accepted it. Small price to pay for your life, you know?”

“Very true,” he agreed.

She nodded. “So… that’s that. Now let’s go back out there. Maybe they’ll just think we came in here for a quickie after dinner.” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, and he laughed.

“A quickie after dinner?” he repeated, smirking. “I think I’d call that dessert.”

***

Their real dessert that night was a raspberry pie that Claire’s mother had baked herself. Nick couldn’t help but wonder if she always baked like that, or if she was just trying to make a good impression because he was visiting. Either way, it was very good, better than anything he’d ever remembered his mom cooking when he was young, and he thought it was too bad that Claire hadn’t seemed to inherit Carrie’s talent in the kitchen.

“Oh – Claire,” Kyle said between bites, “I forgot to tell you earlier, but I ran into Brad Turner the other day and talked to him for a few minutes. Did you know Jamie’s coming down for a few days to visit?”

Jamie. He was one of Claire’s old friends – old boyfriends, to be more specific. He lived in Iowa, and Nick had never met him, but he’d certainly heard enough about him. He knew that Claire and Jamie had been friends for many years and dated for two years in high school, only to break up later. He also knew that Jamie had hurt her at one point, but that they were back to being friends again now. And finally, he knew that he was not at all pleased to hear that the guy was coming to town.

Claire, on the other hand, looked very pleased. “He is?” she asked in surprise. “When? He didn’t tell me he was coming!”

“Next weekend, I think,” said Kyle. “Maybe he was going to surprise you?”

“Well, if he was, you just ruined it,” Claire said with a grin. “I’ll have to call him… that’s exciting!”

Nick tried to not feel left out. She hadn’t seen Jamie since the previous December; of course she was excited. They were still friends, after all. Just friends, Nick reminded himself. They’re just friends.

Still, he couldn’t help but feel slightly put out the rest of the night, knowing he would probably have to meet this Jamie when he came.

“Are you okay?” Claire asked later, as they were getting ready for bed. “You’re quiet tonight.”

“I’m fine,” Nick shrugged. “Just tired, I guess.”

She nodded. “Me too. Hey, are you still planning on coming to Mass with us tomorrow?”

Nick stifled a groan. He’d almost forgotten he’d promised Claire he would go to church with her family on Sunday morning. She had brought it up the day before when he was packing.

“Just so you know, my parents will probably expect me to come to Mass with them on Sunday. You don’t have to come, of course, but you can if you want to.”

“I will,” Nick said agreeably, wanting to make a good impression on her family.

“Okay,” she had smiled. “Pack something semi-dressy then.”

He almost wished now that he hadn’t agreed to go. He had nothing against church, but he always felt like such a heathen when he sat through a service, for his family had rarely attended church when he was growing up.

Still, it was too late to back out now, so he forced a smile and replied, “Sure I’m coming.” He might have felt like a heathen, but he didn’t want Claire’s parents to think he was one. Dutifully, he pulled out the black slacks and dress shirt he’d brought for the occasion, laying them carefully across a chair so that they would not wrinkle in his suitcase overnight.

“Cool. The service starts at ten, and we’ll probably leave here around twenty till. I’m gonna get up at 8:30,” she said, setting the alarm clock on her side of the bed.

“Sounds good,” he mumbled, sitting down on the edge of the bed to take off his clothes, while Claire disappeared to the bathroom. He stripped down to his boxers and traded his shirt for a thin, loose-fitting wifebeater. Last of all, he removed his prosthetic leg and plugged it in to charge for the night. Hopping back over to the bed, he sank down on it and slid beneath the covers.

Claire joined him a few minutes later, wearing nothing but an old t-shirt that was several sizes too big for her. The minute she climbed into bed and snuggled up against him, his mood improved. The double bed was a little smaller than they were used to, but he didn’t care. He liked being this close to her. Smiling, he rolled onto his side to face her and draped an arm around her, lightly rubbing her shoulder. He could not wait for the point when he could lie in bed with her like this every night, falling asleep and awakening by her side.

“Are you going to talk to your parents tomorrow about us moving in together?” he asked her in hushed tones.

“Yeah, definitely,” she replied.

He nodded, not saying anything else. He was a little nervous about that promised conversation, wondering what her parents’ reaction would be and how she would take it. Would she change her mind if they were totally against the idea?

He decided now was not the time to worry about it. He really was tired, and he had to be up fairly early the next day for church. Leaning forward, he planted a gentle kiss on her forehead. She had just washed her face, and her smooth skin smelled of sweet, fragrant soap. He inhaled deeply and then relaxed back against his pillow. “’Night, Claire,” he whispered and listened for her soft reply.

“Goodnight, Nick.”

***