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Chapter 43

There was a woman coming out of room 518 when Nick and Claire reached it, and instantly, Claire recognized her as Meredith Brenner, Casey’s mother. “Mrs. Brenner?” she asked cautiously. Looking up, Mrs. Brenner simply stared at Claire for a moment – probably trying to figure out how she knows me, Claire thought. She knew she looked a lot different now than she had when she had first gotten to know Casey and his family. Not only had she aged five years, but now she looked… well, normal again. When she had visited Casey in the hospital before, she’d been losing weight and hair from chemo treatments, and it had changed her appearance a lot. Yet as soon as she opened her mouth to say who she was, she saw the recognition come into Mrs. Brenner’s eyes.

“Claire!” the older woman exclaimed, her voice filled with warmth. “I almost didn’t recognize you!”

Claire smiled and shrugged. “It’s been awhile,” she said.

“It certainly has. How have you been? You look wonderful, by the way!”

“Thanks. It’s nice to have hair again,” Claire said with a little laugh, her fingers drifting subconsciously up to touch the ends of her red hair. “I’m fine – in remission still.” She didn’t add anything else – she knew the Brenners were aware of her relapse and subsequent bone marrow transplant two years ago because they’d kept in touch through annual cards at Christmas, and she didn’t want to go on about her good health in case Casey… well, it just didn’t seem fair.

“I’m glad to hear it,” replied Mrs. Brenner with an encouraging nod. “And who is this?” Her eyes shifted from Claire over to Nick.

Claire smiled briefly and gave Nick’s hand a pat. “This is my fiancée, Nick,” she introduced him, thinking how fun it was to be able to call him that.

“Fiancée?” Mrs. Brenner’s eyes went round. “Congratulations! I’m happy for you.”

Claire nodded her appreciation. She wanted to ask how she had been in return, but she didn’t have to – one close look at the woman, and she could tell things weren’t going well. Mrs. Brenner, who, when Claire had first met her, had been an attractive woman in her early thirties, had aged considerably in the last five years. She wasn’t yet forty, but she looked even older. Her face had taken on a drawn, haggard appearance, and lines had formed around her brown eyes, which had lost their luster. Claire could see a few strands of gray in her dark hair and knew that something had been taking its toll on this woman.

“I was here for an appointment in the clinic and was told Casey was here,” she said, not wanting to waste any more time on the small talk.

Mrs. Brenner nodded solemnly. “He was admitted for testing last week. He’d been having symptoms, and we found out a few days ago that his cancer is back.”

Claire stifled a gasp with her hand, feeing her heart sink to her stomach. “He relapsed??” she whispered, aghast. She supposed it shouldn’t have been a total shock – she’d already thought of that possibility, hadn’t she, as the worst case scenario? And yet, hearing the words made it so much more real. It was unbelievable. She knew a bone marrow transplant could fail, that it wasn’t a surefire cure… but after five years in remission, Casey should have been in the clear. It didn’t make sense. It wasn’t fair.

Mrs. Brenner pressed her lips together and nodded again. “I think we’re all still in a state of shock,” she confessed. “Casey’s taking it pretty hard, I’m afraid. The first time around, he was so young, he didn’t fully understand what was happening to him. Now that’s he’s older, he understands better… he doesn’t remember everything from when he was six, but he remembers the pain and getting sick all the time. He thought – we all did, really – that that was behind him, just a part of his childhood he could eventually forget. Needless to say, he’s not looking forward to going through it again.” She sighed, looking worried and weary.

Claire’s heart went out to her; it had to be horrible having to watch your child go through something like that. She’d seen the same expression on her own mother’s face. But more than anything, she hurt for poor Casey. She was more than twice his age, and he’d been through even more than she had. This would be his third bout with leukemia, and he was only eleven years old. The same thought returned to her – it’s not fair. Why was someone so young being put through so much pain and misery? Then again, why had any of them been put through it? Casey? Nick? Her? None of it was fair, and though she’d realized that time and time again, it still made her angry.

“So they’re putting him on chemo again?” she asked, knowing that complaining about the injustice of the situation wouldn’t change a thing.

“That’s the plan for now,” answered Mrs. Brenner. “They’re going to try some newer, experimental drugs and see if those do anything.” Claire nodded and did not say anything in reply. “Would you like to go in and see him?” Casey’s mother asked.

“Only if you think he’d be up to it,” said Claire.

Mrs. Brenner smiled. “I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you. It’s been a long time – in the eyes of a child anyway – but he remembers you. He still has the elephant you gave him.”

Now Claire smiled, feeling a gentle fluttering of warmth in her chest. When Casey was little, his favorite movie had been Disney’s Dumbo, mostly due to one of the songs in it – “Casey Junior.” He had had the VHS tape in his hospital room, and she remembered him always wanting to rewind it to the part with the circus train so that he could hear that song – and hear his own name in it, of course. She’d bought him a small, stuffed Dumbo, and he’d kept it at his bedside constantly. Months later, after he was out of the hospital and on his way to being well again, he’d given her a present in return – a large, black crow’s feather he’d found outside. He’d sent it to her in the mail with a note, explaining in oversized, lopsided, six-year-old printing that it was a “magic feather,” like Dumbo the elephant had in the movie to help him fly. She still had that feather somewhere, packed carefully with the accompanying letter in a box of keepsakes.

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll pop in for a quick visit then.”

“Go right ahead. I was just about to leave to grab some lunch and then pick up Catherine from a birthday party. Casey will be glad to have someone else visit for a little while.”

Claire smiled and watched as Mrs. Brenner left. Then she took a deep breath, trying to mentally prepare herself to go inside the room.

“How about I let you go in first?” offered Nick. “I mean, he doesn’t know me at all; maybe it’d be better if I just waited out here for now.”

Claire nodded. “Okay. I’ll go in for a few minutes and see how he’s doing and if he’s up for more visitors. You won’t mind waiting?”

“Nah, it’s fine. I’ll just find somewhere to sit,” Nick replied, glancing down the hall. Claire could see a few chairs pushed up against the wall. He headed towards them at a snail’s pace, walking slightly hunched over from the pain in his lower back, while she continued on to Casey’s room.

The door to room 518 was slightly ajar, but she knocked softly before peeking in. She heard a faint “Come in?” and pushed the door open wider, taking a step into the room. It was a double room, but only one bed was occupied, and propped up in that bed was Casey. He was bigger and older-looking than the six-year-old she’d known, with a head full of thick, dark hair he hadn’t had when she’d met him, but she was sure that even if she hadn’t seen a recent picture of him in the card his mother sent last Christmas, she would have recognized him. His eyes, the same large, luminous brown ones his mother had, gave him away.

The question was, would he recognize her? She was pretty sure she’d never included a picture of herself in her Christmas cards, and as far as she could remember, he hadn’t seen her in person since he was around seven. Sure enough, he was looking at her with nothing but an expectant expression that seemed to ask, Who are you and what are you going to do to me?

“Hi, Casey,” she said gently, offering a smile. “You probably don’t even recognize me, but… it’s me, Claire.” She waited tentatively, hoping his mother wasn’t lying about him remembering her.

To her relief, he broke into a rather awestruck smile. “Claire?” he repeated, blinking in surprise. “What are you doin’ here?”

“Well, what do you think I’m doing? I came to see you, kiddo,” she said lightly. “Look at you – you’re all grown up.”

Casey smiled shyly and replied, “I know. I’m eleven now.” He said it with such pride that she couldn’t help but grin.

“Into the double digits now, huh? That’s a milestone. So let’s see, what grade would that make you? Sixth?”

“Fifth,” he corrected, adding, “I repeated kindergarten.”

“Oh, right – I knew that,” she said quickly, feeling herself blush slightly. Of course he had repeated kindergarten – he’d missed most of it the first time around because of his treatments. “So how’s fifth grade treating you?” She was trying to keep up the small talk and not mention the reason he was in the hospital – if he wanted to talk about it, she’d wait for him to bring it up.

“Eh, it’s okay so far I guess,” answered Casey with a shrug. “Not too hard.”

“That’s good. I liked fifth grade a lot; I had a really nice teacher that year.”

“My teacher’s okay. So are you out of college now?”

“Yeah. I got enough credits to get my associate’s degree a few years ago, and now I’m done with school and working as a dental hygienist.”

“A dental hygienist?” Casey repeated, his nose wrinkling. “Why would you wanna do that? I hate the dentist.”

Claire laughed at his bluntness and replied, “It’s not a bad job. My dad’s a dentist, so I guess it’s kind of engrained in me.”

“I wanna be a pilot when I grow up,” said Casey. “That’d be cool.”

“That would be cool,” Claire agreed. “I bet you’d make a good pilot.”

“I rule at Star Fox – that’s a video game. I’ve beat it twice.”

“Wow, twice? Awesome. I think my boyfriend Nick has that game,” replied Claire – it sounded familiar anyway. Then again, Nick had so many different games for so many different systems, there was no way she could keep them all straight. “He wouldn’t like being a pilot in real life though – he hates flying.”

Casey blinked up at her. “You have a boyfriend?”

“Yes. Believe it or not, I met him here.”

Casey raised his eyebrows, looking skeptical. “At the hospital?”

Claire nodded, smiling. “Yep. He had cancer too, see… I met him when we were both getting chemo. Romantic, huh?” she asked sarcastically, poking her tongue between her teeth.

Casey wrinkled his nose again. “No…”

She laughed. “Yeah, I know. Actually, he’s here with me today if you want to meet him. You don’t have to,” she added quickly, not wanting to put him on the spot just because Nick was waiting, “… but I think you’d like him. He’s really nice, and he loves video games too. I’m sure he’d love to play with you sometime.”

Casey shrugged, then said, “Okay.”

“Alright, cool. Hang on a minute, and I’ll go get him.” She left Casey’s room long enough to fetch Nick from the hall and returned with him at her side. “Nick, meet Casey Brenner. Casey, this is Nick.”

“Hey, Casey,” said Nick. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Claire. It’s good to finally meet one of her old friends.”

Casey smiled and replied with a timid “Hi.”

“Casey and I were talking about video games earlier,” spoke up Claire, addressing Nick. “You have the Star Fox game, don’t you?”

“I’ve got all the Star Fox games,” answered Nick, then looked at Casey. “You like Star Fox?”

Casey nodded. “I beat Star Fox 64 twice,” he told Nick.

“Really? Dang… it took me forever to beat that one.” Whether he was telling the truth or exaggerating to give Casey’s ego a boost, Claire did not know, but she wished she had a camera to catch the proud smile that crossed Casey’s face at that moment. “Do you have the Star Fox for Gamecube yet?” Nick went on. “It’s a lot harder than the one for N64, but the graphics are awesome.”

“Nah, I don’t have a Gamecube. My mom says they’re too expensive.”

“I’ve got one; maybe I can bring it for you to play sometime.”

“Ooh can you? That would be so cool!” Casey exclaimed, his eyes lighting up. “My friend Jordan has a Gamecube, but he doesn’t have that game, so I’ve never gotten to play it. How many levels are there? What are the bosses like?”

Smiling to herself, Claire sat back and half-listened as the two ‘boys’ chattered back and forth about Nintendo games. She was glad they were hitting it off so well. Casey was just as sweet of a kid as he’d been at age six, and Nick was great with kids. She wasn’t sure if he knew that about himself or not, but he really was. He was always a sweetheart around his younger fans, and he was good with Brian’s son Baylee too. He’d make a great dad someday, if they decided to become parents.

After awhile, Casey started to look like he was getting tired, and she noticed Nick rubbing his right hip as he talked. Knowing full well how much chemo wore you out and how sore a bone marrow aspiration could make you, she empathized with both of them and decided it was time for the visit to end. “Well, Case,” she said, “Nick and I should probably head home in a minute.”

“Aw,” Casey groaned, looking disappointed despite his noticeable weariness. “Will you come back?” His eyebrows raised hopefully as he asked the question.

“Maybe tomorrow?” said Claire, giving Nick a sidelong glance. He nodded quickly, and she confirmed, “Tomorrow. We can both come if you want us to.”

Casey nodded. “Yeah, come. Bring your Gamecube if you can,” he added to Nick.

“I’ll see what I can do,” replied Nick with a little grin and stood up painfully, putting his hand on Claire’s shoulder for support as he got his balance.

Standing up after him, Claire said, “It was great to see you again, kiddo. We’ll be back up sometime tomorrow, okay?”

“’Kay,” replied Casey, looking pleased. “See ya tomorrow.”

Claire left feeling much better than she had before she’d first gone into Casey’s room. Though Casey hadn’t appeared to have all the energy in the world, he was still full of life and personality, not unlike the six-year-old she’d gotten so attached to. His mother had said he was taking his relapse hard… but Casey was tough. She knew he wouldn’t go down without a fight.

“He’s a cool kid,” commented Nick, as they walked slowly down the hall, heading for the elevators.

“I know. I’m glad you guys got along so well,” she replied. “So you really don’t mind coming back tomorrow?”

“No, I want to.”

Claire smiled. “Thanks, Nick. Thank you for visiting him with me today.”

“Hey, it’s not like I had anywhere better to be,” said Nick with a shrug.

“Home, that would be better. That’s where I’m taking you now, so you can change into some sweats and relax,” Claire said, pressing the down button for the elevator.

“Sounds good,” Nick replied, gingerly rubbing his hip again as they waited. “But we’ll have to take a little detour on the way home.”

“Why?”

“I wanna stop somewhere and buy a Gamecube, for Casey.”

Claire turned to him in surprise, her eyebrows raised. “Are you sure? Aren’t those pretty expensive?”

“Nah, you can get one for a hundred bucks these days,” Nick answered with a casual wave of his hand. “It’s no big deal. The kid needs something to do if he’s gonna be stuck here for awhile.”

As much as Claire agreed with him there, it blew her mind how someone could just shell out one hundred dollars like that without batting an eye. Of course, he wasn’t like a lot of other people their age, working to pay bills and rent and student loans while saving up to buy decent cars and first homes. He was a filthy rich celebrity; a hundred dollars was nothing to him. Still, it amazed her. But it certainly wasn’t a bad thing. She knew she could never afford to just go out and randomly buy a Nintendo Gamecube for Casey, but it was awesome that he was willing to. Casey would be in heaven tomorrow when he brought it in.

“You’re a sweetheart,” she told Nick. “Casey’s gonna love you for this.”

Nick just shrugged, blushing slightly. “It’s really not a big deal,” he repeated.

Claire laughed. “I know. I know it’s not, for you. But I promise, it’ll mean the world to him.”

Nick nodded. “That’s why I want to do it.”

The elevator arrived finally, and the doors slid open with a soft ding, revealing an empty car. They stepped inside, and Claire punched the button for the main floor. “I love you,” she said, as the doors slid closed again, and the elevator began to descend. Reflected in the shiny stainless steel doors, she could just make out Nick’s pleased smile.

***