[ - ]
Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story Microsoft Word Chapter or Story
- Text Size +
Chapter 45

AN: Thanks to Diana for all her ideas and help with this chapter!

The following Saturday, Claire awoke with a pounding headache. She opened her eyes blearily and immediately closed them again to shut out the bright sunlight that was streaming through the windows, directly into her face. Rolling away from the offending light, she tentatively opened her eyes again and raised her head to look at the bedside clock. It was already ten o’clock, and Nick had apparently gotten up; his side of the bed was empty, the covers pulled up and tucked around her.

I should get up too, she thought with a groan. But staying in bed was so tempting. She was slightly hungover from last night, when she’d gone out with Nick, Dianna, and Jamie. Jamie had been in town since Tuesday for his interview with a local insurance company, where he was hoping to get a job, but she’d been so busy all week, she hadn’t gotten a chance to see him until Friday night. By then, she’d needed a night out and a few drinks.

The past week had not been a good one. She’d worked every day, and when she had not been working, she had spent time at the hospital with poor Casey. He had developed an infection earlier in the week, and with his immune system weakened from the chemo, they’d had to move him into a sterile isolation room to protect him from more germs and put him on a heavy regimen of antibiotics to get rid of the infection. He’d been miserable all week, and seeing him that way brought back bad memories of the complications she’d had after her bone marrow transplant. She knew it was not easy for Nick to see him that way either, but he’d loyally accompanied her to the hospital every day that week. She wondered if that was part of the reason he had come along with her and her friends the night before – he had needed a night out as well.

They’d had a nice time, and it had been good to catch up with both Jamie and Dianna, whom she hadn’t seen in weeks. She’d drank a little too much, and so had Jamie, if she remembered correctly – she recalled him pulling her onto the dance floor of the club they’d gone to at one point while Nick and Dianna stayed at their table. Nick hadn’t seemed too happy about that, but even this morning, she didn’t care. She thought he’d been sort of possessive of her all night, and it annoyed her – she knew he had only acted like that because Jamie was around. It seemed Jamie was always going to be The Ex-Boyfriend or The Sperm Donor in Nick’s eyes, not what she considered him – a friend. And to Jamie, Nick would always be The Backstreet Boy – that’s what he’d started calling him on the phone, and Claire had a feeling it went further than him simply giving her a hard time for getting engaged to a popstar. Falling asleep last night, she’d come to the conclusion that they were jealous of each other – Jamie of Nick’s fame and fortune, and Nick of Jamie’s past roles in Claire’s life. She found both sides to be ridiculous, but maybe she was naïve for thinking they would eventually get over it.

Ah well, she thought, no use thinking about that now. I’ve got more important things to do. She forced herself to sit up, remembering how she and Nick had promised Casey they would be back up to visit this morning. Just as she was about to roll out of bed, Nick walked in, carrying a glass of water.

“Morning, babe,” he greeted her with a slight smile. “Feel okay?”

She cocked her head to the side. “Was I really that drunk last night?”

“You were pretty tipsy,” Nick smirked. “Headache?” He held out his closed fist and opened it to reveal two Excedrin tablets.

“Thanks, Nick,” she said with a sheepish smile, taking the pills gratefully and washing them down with a sip of water. “Hopefully those will help. I need to get going. We should head up to the hospital before long.”

Nick shrugged. “We don’t have to go right now. Or you don’t anyway. I can run up for awhile, and you can come join me later. I’ll just tell Casey you have a headache.”

She considered this a moment, then nodded her throbbing head. “Alright… Thanks, Nick,” she added again as he walked out of the bedroom. When he had closed the door behind him, she lay back down, buried her face in the pillows, and pulled the covers over her head.

She was awoken in what seemed like only minutes by her cell phone. Discovering that trying to drown out her repetitive, high-pitched “Quit Playing Games” ringer was more torturous than actually getting up to answer the phone would be, she rolled out of bed with a groan and stumbled over to her dresser to grab her phone. She poked the green button on its front just to get to shut up; then when she saw Dianna’s name on the screen, she raised the phone to her ear.

“Hello?” she answered croakily.

“Hey, woman, I’ve been trying to call you for, like, twenty minutes! Did you just wake up or something?” Dianna’s voice was loud in her ear, and Claire pulled the phone away, wincing.

“Yeah… I did,” she mumbled.

“Oh, I’m sorry! It’s already going on 11:30… I thought you’d be up. Guess not. You sound terrible – are you sick, or just hungover?”

“How about C) I just woke up?” answered Claire, squinting at the clock. So it was almost 11:30… apparently she’d gone back to sleep for longer than a few minutes.

“I said I was sorry. You’re usually not a late sleeper.”

“No, I know… I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to snap,” said Claire, realizing how cranky she was acting. “I am kinda hungover.”

Dianna giggled. “I knew it. Claire, you’re such a lightweight! Jamie drank more than you, and he sounds fine.”

“Well, he also has a good fifty pounds on me,” Claire pointed out. “So you already gave him a wake-up call too?”

“Yeah… well, I was just hoping the three of us could do something today. If you feel up to it, that is.”

“What do you wanna do?”

“Well… I don’t think I mentioned it last night, but my parents just bought a new speedboat for their anniversary last month. I thought maybe we could take it out, maybe do a little water-skiing? We haven’t done that in forever. Jamie’s in if you are. But we should probably get going soon if we’re going to go. We could stop by the store and get some food to bring with, have lunch on the boat?”

“Yeah… that sounds like fun,” Claire said slowly, thinking it would do her well to go out in the fresh air. Her head felt better now that she’d had a chance to wake up; the Excedrin must have done its job. “Can I bring Nick along? He loves going out on the water.”

“Sure, that’s fine. What’s the soonest you guys can be ready?”

“Uh…” Claire looked around and remembered that Nick had gone to the hospital to visit Casey. “Well, give me half an hour, and I’ll be good to go, but Nick’s… Nick’s visiting a friend right now. He’ll probably want to change before we go, so-“

“Well, why don’t you just come then? He won’t care, will he? I mean, he’s got his own boat if he wants to go out… and he can’t really water-ski anyway, can he?”

Claire rolled her eyes. “If you don’t want him to come, just say it, Di,” she said flatly.

“It’s not that I don’t want him to come!” Dianna insisted. “I’m just anxious to leave soon so we can get in a full afternoon. And since when are you two Siamese twins? I know you’re engaged, Claire, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun with your own friends without him.”

Claire felt a flicker of anger inside her. “It’s not like that at all,” she replied darkly.

“I dunno, he was acting pretty clingy with you last night,” Dianna observed.

Claire rolled her eyes again, but she couldn’t deny the truth in that. “He’s usually not like that,” she said. “It’s just cause Jamie was there. I get the feeling he’s not a big fan of Jamie.”

“Why? Cause you and Jamie-“

“Cause we dated in high school; cause he donated his sperm to me – take your pick,” Claire replied with a sigh.

“Ohh… well… why would he want to come with us then? If he doesn’t like Jamie, I mean.”

Claire shook her head, wishing she could end this conversation right now. “I don’t know, Di. Look, never mind. I’ll get dressed and be over at your apartment in half an hour, and Nick can just come with us another time if he wants to. See you in a bit.”

“Okay. Bye.”

As soon as she’d hung up, Claire speed dialed Nick’s cell and was immediately taken to his voicemail. He must still be visiting Casey, she thought, figuring he’d turned his phone off inside the hospital. She left him a quick message, telling him where she was going, that she’d probably be back by evening, and to tell Casey she was sorry she couldn’t come that day. She hung up feeling slightly guilty, but brushed the feeling aside. There’s nothing wrong with going out with my friends today, she told herself. Casey was too sick for long visits anyway; he wouldn’t be too disappointed if she didn’t stop by one day. And Dianna was right – she and Nick weren’t connected at the hip, and she didn’t have to ask him to come along, especially if Jamie was going to be there.

She changed quickly into a bathing suit and shorts and pulled a t-shirt on over her swimsuit top. She stopped in the bathroom to freshen herself up and pull her newly-cut hair into a short ponytail, then threw some items into a beach tote, shoved on a pair of flip-flops, and headed for her car. Nick had been letting her drive his Jag, which she adored, but she didn’t like taking it without asking him first, so she hopped into her beater Toyota instead for the drive to Dianna’s apartment.

***

Nick rose from his chair quietly, not wanting to disturb the young patient in the bed in front of him. Casey had been drifting in and out all morning – probably a side effect of the medications he was on, Nick figured – but he’d been sleeping soundly for awhile now, and Nick decided he might as well leave. He walked slowly toward the door, trying to avoid letting his eyes wander to the various pieces of medical equipment that lined the walls. He wished he had not spent so much time in hospitals in the last two and a half years because he knew what most of those devices were for and wished he didn’t. There was a respirator, in case Casey got so sick he could no longer breathe on his own… a crash cart, in case his heart stopped… Nick shook his head, trying not to think about it. All of this freaked him out, and a part of him wondered why he was even there. Why had he kept coming to the hospital and putting himself in uncomfortable situations like this?

Because I care, he thought grudgingly. Claire adored this little boy, and he’d become awfully fond of him as well. Casey was sort of like another little brother to him now… a younger version of Aaron, someone who looked up to him. It made him feel good. But it also scared him. Casey was very sick, and even once he got over this infection, he would still be fighting cancer. For the third time. He didn’t have to be a doctor to know that the odds couldn’t be good there.

He stepped out of the hospital room and pulled the surgical mask off of his mouth and nose, letting it hang limply around his neck while he sucked in a few deep breaths. The worst part about Casey being in an isolated room was the fact that he had to ‘gown up’ every time he set foot inside it to avoid passing germs on to Casey. Not only did he feel like a clown wearing the oversized surgical gown, cap, and ‘booties’ that were required, but the get-up brought back bad memories, memories of when Claire was in isolation after her transplant. She’d been very sick like this too, and there was a time when he had feared she was going to die.

But she didn’t, Nick told himself stubbornly. Claire had gotten better, and she was fine now. Casey could recover and go back into remission too. But as he started to compare the two in his head, another thought occurred to him. But Casey was fine after his bone marrow transplant too. And now he’s sick again. He swallowed hard, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. This could happen to Claire too…

He tried to force that thought out of his head as soon as it had formed; it was too frightening to dwell on. If Claire ever relapsed, he didn’t know what he would do. He didn’t think he could handle seeing her that sick again. It had been hard enough the first time, but was before he’d fallen in love with her. If something happened to her now…

He shook his head, trying to clear his mind and think of something else. He looked up and noticed a clock mounted high on the wall; it was going on noon. Wondering if Claire was up yet and if she was still planning on coming to see Casey, he jammed his hand into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He wandered down the hall to a small waiting area before turning on the phone to call her. 1 new voicemail, flashed the screen on the phone when it came on. He punched a button and put the phone to his ear to listen to the message. It was from Claire.

“Hey, hon… it’s about 11:30, and I just woke up to a call from Dianna. She and Jamie want to go out water-skiing with her parents’ new speedboat, so I’m gonna head out with them for the afternoon. They want to leave soon so that we can be back before too late, so I should be home early in the evening. It looks like I’m not gonna get up to the hospital today, so don’t wait around for me. Tell Casey I’m sorry I can’t come today and that I’ll stop by tomorrow for sure. Love you, bye.”

Nick felt an odd sinking feeling as he lowered the phone and pressed another button to stop the message. Well, so much for his day. There was no point in sticking around the hospital alone, with Casey so out of it. And it looked like he wouldn’t be doing anything with Claire either, not until much later anyway.

I need to make some friends of my own, he thought, wondering what Brent and his old buddies were up to these days. He hadn’t really talked to any of them in awhile. It was funny how getting cancer and losing a leg made you realize who your true friends were. The only other person he knew who could really relate to that was Claire, but of course, she was spending the day with her own ‘true friends.’

With a sigh, he left the waiting area and wandered down the hall towards the elevators. He wished Brian lived nearby; a basketball game or Nintendo tournament with his old friend sounded great right about now. Oh well, he thought. In a few days, I’ll be in LA with all five of them, and I can play basketball with Bri anytime I want.

And in the meantime, he decided as he began to flip through the contacts stored in his phone, he could always call Brian and complain about how lame his life had become.

***

“This is the life,” murmured Claire contentedly as she stretched out across one of the bright white seats in Dianna’s parents’ new boat, adjusting her sunglasses on the bridge of her nose. “I hadn’t been water-skiing in a long time.”

“Neither had I, actually,” Dianna replied with a thoughtful look. “We didn’t look too bad out there though, you and I, Claire. Now, Jamie, on the other hand…”

“Oh, Jamie’s always sucked at water-skiing; you know that,” Claire said quickly, with a teasing grin in Jamie’s direction.

He shot her a dark look. “Well, can you blame me? I’m a Yankee boy at heart; not too many places to water-ski in Iowa,” he defended himself with a shrug.

Dianna giggled. Claire, noticing how hot her face was starting to feel, turned her head and said, “Di, can you toss that ghetto Sunblock of yours over here?”

“You and your Sunblock,” said Dianna, pitching her the half-flattened bottle of sunscreen they’d found at the back of Dianna’s bathroom cabinet. In her haste to leave that morning, Claire had foolishly forgotten her own, and of course Dianna, who always tanned beautifully, had nothing but a half-empty bottle of the store-brand kind – that had expired three years ago, nonetheless – in her apartment. But it still smelled and looked like Sunblock, just slightly runny, so Claire had slathered it on anyway, hoping it would still work. Her light skin had always burned easily, and cancer treatments had made her even more sensitive to sunlight, so she had to protect herself. Sitting up, she tipped the bottle into her palm and squeezed until a large dollop squirted out, then spread it all over her skin.

“Can someone put a second coat on my back?” she asked, knowing her back would end up looking like a pink-spotted leopard if she tried to do it herself; she always ended up missing spots.

“Give it here,” said Jamie, coming over to sit beside her. She handed him the bottle and let him rub the lotion across her back and shoulders. As his fingers traveled across her right shoulder, he playfully plucked the strap of her damp swimsuit and gave it a snap. Rolling her eyes, she turned and took the bottle out of his hand.

“That’s good. Thanks.”

He flashed her a brief smile. “Anytime,” he said and returned to his old seat. Claire pulled her t-shirt over her head and smoothed it down over her swimsuit. Then she eased herself back down on her own padded boat seat.

***

It was just after six in the evening when Claire returned home. She parked her Toyota in the large garage and went into the house. “Nick!” she called. No answer. She went upstairs to drop off her bag, and when she could not find him there, she went back down and wandered the main level, looking for him. She finally opened the door to the small music studio he’d setup in one of the rooms and found him there. He didn’t notice her at first; a large pair of headphones covered his ears, and he was nodding his head gently in time to whatever was coming out of them. Not wanting to disturb him, she started to close the door, but all of a sudden he glanced up and saw her. She stopped and let the door swing back open, and he eased the headphones off his ears, looking at her expectantly.

“Hey,” she said. “Just wanted to let you know I’m home.”

“Did you have fun?” he asked shortly.

She nodded.

“Good.” With that, he slipped his headphones back over his ears and turned away. Conversation over, or so it seemed.

With a frown, she closed the door and walked away. That guilty feeling had returned; she got the impression he was annoyed with her. She wondered if it was because she had spent the day with Jamie and Dianna or because she had not invited him along.

Well, if it’s either of those things, he can just grow up, she thought crossly as she trudged upstairs, her tired muscles revolting against the climb. I’m allowed to have my own friends and do things with them without inviting him.

Drained and grubby from being out in the sun and sea all afternoon, she headed straight for the bathroom, craving a long, warm shower. As she peeled off her damp, sticky clothes, her thoughts returned to Nick. She couldn’t decide whether she was more annoyed with him for being so short with her or upset with herself for making him act that way. Of course, maybe it wasn’t her at all; maybe he was just frustrated with whatever he was working on downstairs. But she worried that she’d made him feel left out or neglected that somehow, and even if she could defend her actions, she couldn’t help but feel bad.

Ah well, she thought, we still have the rest of the night to spend together, just the two of us. When I get out of the shower, I’ll go back down and talk to him. He’ll get over it.

Reassured, she kicked her clothes into a pile in the middle of the floor and turned towards the mirror while she tugged at the ponytail holder in her hair. All of a sudden, she stopped, her hand falling to her chest. She gaped into the mirror for a moment, her heart beginning to thump rapidly against her ribs, then turned and darted to the door, on which a full-length mirror was mounted. She stood only a foot away and stared at her reflection, her eyes widening with mounting horror.

Her skin, from her neck down to her breasts, across her chest and halfway down her arms, was covered in a bright red, blotchy rash. “Oh my God,” she whispered, unable to take her eyes off the rough scarlet patches. Her heart began to race; her breathing came in short, shallow gasps as she struggled to control her panic.

A skin rash was one of the first symptoms of Graft Versus Host Disease. In simpler terms, transplant rejection.

She went light-headed as the very words formed in her mind, words she had lived in fear of for two years, and her knees buckled. She grabbed the doorknob for support, then slid slowly down to the cool tiles of the bathroom floor. Scooting against the wall, she tucked her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them tightly. She could feel her whole body shaking.

Her mouth had become as dry as cotton. She tried to swallow, but her throat felt tight. Tears prickled suddenly in her eyes, and with difficulty, she cleared her throat, struggling to find her voice. “Nick!” she cried, but it came out shaky and weak. Clearing her throat again, she took a shuddering, deep breath and shouted his name for a second time.

“NICK!”

***