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Chapter 90


AN: Thanks to Laureen for her fabulous ideas! =D


At six-thirty on Friday evening, Claire stood in front of the full-length mirror she’d hung on the back of her bathroom door, scrutinizing her reflection. Why she even cared what she looked like, she did not know. This wasn’t a real “date,” per se, at least not in her mind. She was only doing this as a favor to Jamie… although why, she did not know either. He didn’t really deserve any favors from her, after the conflict he’d caused when Nick had been in town the week before, but nonetheless, here she was, dressed up and ready to go.

Their reservations were at a sports bar and grill type restaurant, so she’d dressed casually nice, in a pair of fitted jeans and a simple wrap top. Of course, the bright purple cast immobilized across her front was an attractive touch. She rolled her eyes at it, but decided it could have been worse. Much worse. Again, she wondered why it even mattered, because she wasn’t looking to hook up with anyone. Still, she knew little about Jamie’s coworker, this Stew guy, and figured she had better at least try to make herself look presentable, just in case. After all, you never knew when you were going to meet someone. She’d met Nick in the chemotherapy room at the hospital, for crying out loud.

After putting a stray piece of hair back into place, Claire decided she was good to go and left the bathroom, shutting the light off on her way out. Jamie was due to pick her up in ten minutes for their seven o’clock reservations. They’d be meeting their “dates,” Sarah and Stew, at the restaurant.

Flopping down onto her couch, she turned on her TV and waited for Jamie to get there.

***

Rock music and TVs were blaring as the hostess led Jamie and Claire through the crowded restaurant to their booth. Claire saw that two people were already sitting there, on opposite sides of the table. One was a willowy brunette with a deep tan, a waterfall of long, shiny hair cascading down her bare back, and large, coffee-colored eyes that were framed by thick, mascara-lacquered lashes. In her presence, Claire felt very plain.

The other was a skinny guy that looked like he weighed less than her, his boney shoulders and elbows protruding through his rust-colored polo shirt, the collar of which was buttoned to the very top. He had short, medium brown hair in a non-descript cut, and his thin face was clean-shaven and shaped by delicate features, yet sort of handsome in a way.

“Hey, Sarah,” she heard Jamie greeting the brunette silkily. Then she felt his hand circle her waist. “Stew, I’d like you to meet my friend, Claire Ryan. Claire, this is-“

“Stewart Grose,” chimed in the guy in a deep, loud voice, extending his hand up to her.

His last name is Gross? That’s unfortunate, was the first thing she thought, stifling a giggle as she put on a genial smile and took his hand. Shaking it amiably, she replied, “Nice to meet you… Stewart? Or do you go by Stew?”

“Stew is fine,” said Stew, in the same loud, sort of monotonic voice.

Nodding, she slipped into the spot next to him. Jamie, she saw, had sidled into the booth next to Sarah and was already chattering away to her, the smirk he always got when he was flirting fixed upon his face. Clearing her throat, she attracted Sarah’s attention and offered the girl a pleasant smile. “Jamie forgot to introduce us,” she said and held her hand out across the table. “I’m Claire.”

“Sarah,” the brunette smiled back, shaking her hand lightly before turning back towards Jamie.

Even before a waitress came to take their drink orders, Claire could tell that there was not going to be much conversation going on between the four of them. Jamie and Sarah already seemed totally engrossed with each other, leaving her to make small talk with Stew. She shot daggers across the table at Jamie with her eyes, furious with him for putting her in this awkward situation, before dutifully turning to her ‘blind date.’ “So…” she began slowly, “Are you an actuary too?”

“Yes,” Stew answered and immediately launched into an explanation of his job title, detailing exactly what he did for the company for which he and Jamie both worked. Claire had heard the condensed version of this job description from Jamie himself, but Stew managed to turn it into a five-minute speech. She tried to keep an interested expression on her face, nodding every few seconds at what he was saying, but behind her glazed eyes, she wasn’t processing a word of it. Instead, she was contemplating ways to kill Jamie.

“So, what do you do?” Stew asked her finally.

Blinking out of her stupor, Claire focused on his face once again and replied, “Oh, I’m a dental hygienist.” She figured there was no explanation needed along with her job title, so she left it at that.

“Oh,” said Stew flatly, looking like he had just caught a whiff of something nasty.

Claire frowned. “I like it,” she added. “Good hours, good money… comfy work clothes…” She forced a smile, which was not returned. Unnerved, she shifted her eyes to one of the many TVs mounted high on the walls. They were all tuned to various sports stations and games, although most were showing the pre-game coverage of the Miami Heat basketball game. “Do you watch a lot of basketball?” she asked Stew, gesturing at the TV screen.

“No. I don’t really like sports,” Stew responded dryly.

“Oh.” -my God, she added internally, rolling her eyes as she looked away. Be nice, she warned herself and turned back to him. “So what kind of stuff do you like?”

“Oh… I don’t know… I like history.”

“History buff, huh? That’s cool. Do you watch the History Channel? They’ve got some really cool shows on there… I love Histories Mysteries and Modern Marvels…” She babbled on, trying to get him engaged in some kind of conversation, but everything she said seemed to lead to a dead-end.

“No. I don’t really watch much TV. Just MSNBC usually.”

Claire blinked. “Oh. So you’re a current events guy?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that’s good. Nice to know what’s going on in the world.”

“Yes.”

Claire blinked again. He reminded her of a robot. A very, very boring robot. She looked over at Jamie, who was still flirting with Sarah, completely oblivious to her fizzling across from him. At least they seemed to be hitting it off well. She wished they had just gone on a date by themselves and spared her the misery of trying to make small talk with a cyborg.

When their waitress finally brought their drinks and wrote down their dinner orders, Claire realized with dread that the night was just beginning. This place was packed tonight; it was going to take forever to get their food. Dear God, she thought with desperation. Someone shoot me now.

After she’d placed her order, she raised her eyes back to the TV screen, thankful it was there. If things didn’t perk up with Stew soon, at least she could be mildly entertained by the basketball game.

This was ruined for her when Stew said, “Excuse me, waitress? Could you change our TV to MSNBC please?”

Claire looked slowly over at him, thinking he had to be joking. Too bad he seemed to have no sense of humor. The waitress didn’t react at first, probably thinking he was kidding too, but when she saw that he wasn’t, she obediently flipped through the channels until she came to the twenty-four hour news station. Claire sighed softly and stole another look at Stew. She sort of felt like wrapping her hands around his scrawny neck and strangling him. This was torture. She wanted to say something, but she didn’t want to be rude. Instead, she muttered, “Excuse me; I’m gonna go to the restroom” and slid out of the booth before Stew could even reply.

In the privacy of the ladies’ room, she slipped into an empty stall and dug her cell phone out of her purse. Scrolling through the contacts she had stored on the phone, she punched a button and lifted the phone to her ear as it dialed. Moments later, Laureen’s cheerful voice answered, “Hey, Claire!”

“Ahh, Laureen, thank God you’re there,” Claire exclaimed through a huge sigh. “It’s not a bad time or anything, is it? I just need to rant for a minute.”

“No, no, it’s fine! What’s wrong??”

“Nothing serious. I’m just sitting in a bathroom stall, hiding out from the most god-awful blind date in the history of blind dates,” she agonized exaggeratedly.

“I didn’t know you were going on a blind date tonight!” said Laureen with obvious surprise. “I didn’t even know you were looking to start dating again.”

“I’m not,” replied Claire flatly. “It’s not even really a date… more like a double date, but the ‘date’ part is really my friend Jamie and this girl he works with. He didn’t think she’d go out with him unless it was a group thing with this mutual friend they have at work, so he dragged me along with him to be this other guy’s ‘date’ just so he could get to know this chick.”

“That sucks! It sounds like he’s just using you.”

“He is,” admitted Claire. “He totally is, and I knew it from the moment he asked me. But I’m just doing it as a favor to him, and he already knows he’s gonna owe me big time for this. He just doesn’t know how much… cause I had no idea it was going to be this bad! As soon as I get a minute alone with him, I’m going to kill him for this.”

Laureen laughed. “Why is it so bad? What’s wrong with the guy?”

“You know Tim? Imagine Tim, but void of all personality and interesting qualities. Like Cyborg Tim.”

“Oh God!” gasped Laureen, sounding horrified. “That bad??”

“That bad. He just made our waitress change the channel on the TV from the Heat game to frickin’ MSNBC,” ranted Claire. “I had to get away… and we’ve only been here ten minutes.”

“Oh God!” Laureen cried again. “Do you need me to save you? I can call you back in a few minutes and pretend to be your mom or something, make up some kind of emergency?”

She sounded so eager that Claire had to smile, but she reluctantly answered, “Nah, that’s okay… I should probably just go back out there and suck it up. It’s only one night. And then I can make Jamie pay.”

Laureen laughed. “Okay. Well, if you change your mind, you can always text me under the table. I’ll have my phone with me.”

“Thanks, Laureen, you’re the best,” Claire replied. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Alrighty. Good luck!”

“Thanks,” Claire laughed. Feeling better for having vented, she dropped her phone back into her purse and unlocked the stall. She stepped out and found a woman standing at the sinks, leaning into the mirror as she applied a generous coat of bright magenta lipstick. Startling, Claire immediately felt her cheeks growing pink; she thought she’d been alone in the bathroom. She started to hurry out when the woman spoke up.

“Honey, take it from me – you need to dump that zero and get yo’self a hero,” the woman said emphatically, her eyes on Claire’s reflection in the mirror.

Claire giggled, and the woman quickly joined in. “I’m serious now!” she added. “If you want me to create a diversion or somethin’ while you scoot on outta here, you just say the word, and I got your back.”

“Thanks,” said Claire, still laughing at the absurdity of this whole situation. “I think I’m gonna stick it out though. Then I’m gonna kick my friend’s ass for roping me into this.”

“Go on, woman,” the elder urged, grinning at her over her shoulder.

Grinning back, Claire walked out of the bathroom, trying to keep a straight face as she reluctantly made her way back to their table. Jamie and Sarah were still deep in conversation, with all the body language of heavy flirting going on, and Stew was engrossed in the report on MSNBC. He didn’t appear to even notice her when she flopped back into the booth next to him, but after a few seconds, he looked over and asked, “You okay?”

Claire forced a cheeky smile onto her face and replied cheerfully, “Fine. Just had to free up some room before I ate, you know? Hey, speaking of which, you wouldn’t happen to have any Beano on you, would you? The food here gets me a little gassy.”

Score! she thought triumphantly, trying not to laugh out loud at the revolted expression that came over Stew’s face, distorting his refined features. She’d come out of the restroom feeling empowered. If I’m going to stick it out, why not have a little fun with him? she decided.

“Uh… no,” Stew answered quickly, averting his eyes.

“That’s okay,” Claire managed to say, then quickly turned her head so that he would not see the smile tugging on her lips. When she’d composed herself, she looked back at him and smiled sweetly. He made sort of a grimace in return.

“So… uh… what happened to your arm?” he asked after a few minutes of awkward silence, seeming desperate to move to a new topic.

“I was in a car accident, a little over three weeks ago,” she replied.

“Oh. Was it your fault?”

Claire was caught off-guard by that question. Some nerve, she thought, but she wasn’t going to lie. Smiling tightly, she replied, “Well, technically… yeah, I guess you could say it was my fault.”

Stew shook his head, looking smugly amused. “Women… terrible drivers,” he scoffed.

Her eyes widened. Did he really just say that?? She couldn’t believe it – he was not only a total cyborg; he was an asshole too! “Ex-cuse me?” she spouted indignantly.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Jamie and Sarah stop talking and look at her. She glanced briefly at Jamie, then back at Stew. “I see why you have a hard time finding women who will go out with you,” she told him matter-of-factly. “No respectable woman wants to date some lame-ass, chauvinistic bore. And that includes me.”

Grabbing her purse, she scooted out of the booth and stood up. Turning to Jamie, she said, “I can’t take this guy; I’m sorry. Have fun with Sarah.” Then she turned on her heel and stalked away.

Jamie caught up with her just outside the restaurant. “I hate you!” she exclaimed as she rounded on him, giving him a shove. “That Stew guy is a total dick!! I thought you said he was nice!”

“He is nice! At work he is, anyway,” insisted Jamie.

“And is he as interesting and exciting and personable at work too?” she shot back sarcastically. “Good God! Are you sure he’s not some machine from the future sent back to terminate me?”

Jamie snorted. “I love you, Claire. You’re so funny when you get all riled up like this; I like you bitchy. You shoulda hit him – that woulda been awesome!”

“Oh, shut up,” she snapped. “I’m going home. Enjoy your night with Sarah.”

“How you gettin’ home? You want my keys?” Jamie asked, dangling them in front of her. Only then did she remember that he’d driven her that night. God, she felt stupid.

Feeling herself blush, she replied, “Thanks,” and snatched them out of his hand.

“You okay to drive? Or you want me to take you home?”

“Don’t be stupid. You’re on a date. Go back inside; I’ll be fine. I can drive one-handed,” she assured him, then added, on sudden inspiration, “Unless you think I can’t… cause I’m a woman.”

Jamie rolled his eyes. “You know I don’t think that. I don’t know why he said that, but I apologize. I really thought this would go better.”

“Whatever. It was all just about you and Sarah anyway, so I hope that part goes well for you. See ya later,” said Claire and turned away again, heading across the parking lot to his car. He didn’t follow her this time, but when she glanced back, he was still standing on the sidewalk in front of the entrance. She wasn’t really mad at him; she’d known the whole time that she was just a pawn in his game to hook up with Sarah. She just hadn’t expected to be coupled with such a jackass.

But what did you expect? she asked herself silently, as she walked along. To find a new boyfriend tonight? Yeah, right. She didn’t want to get involved with anyone else right now anyway. The only thing she’d lost tonight was dinner.

As she unlocked Jamie’s car and climbed into the driver’s seat, chuckling at the complete audacity of Stew, the woman in the bathroom’s words returned to her. Honey, take it from me – you need to dump that zero and get yo’self a hero.

I had a hero, she realized regretfully. And I dumped him.

***