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Chapter 91

The sun was shining in Los Angeles the following morning, and Nick raised his hand to his brow to shield his eyes from it as he looked up at the impressive Italian Mediterranean style mansion.

“What do you think?” asked his realtor eagerly, leaning in closer to him. He tore his eyes away from the house to look at her briefly. Therese Lester certainly fit the realtor mold to a T. An attractive woman in her late thirties, she wore a tapered charcoal gray suit with a skirt that swished around her calves, drove a polished luxury sedan, and sported a smile that was just as sparkling against the backdrop of her smooth, makeup-masked face. A smile that clearly said, I want to sell you this house!

“Beautiful,” replied Nick, his gaze returning to the sprawling property. “It’s… big.” He’d told her he wasn’t looking for anything too grand for his second home. He’d gone that route before and found that all the space and luxuries in the world didn’t really make his life that much better. Something nice, something classy, something simple. That was what he’d had in mind when he’d hired Therese to scope out real estate for him.

“It is, but let me assure you, you will appreciate all the space and special features it has to offer. Let’s go inside for a look, and I’ll tell you all about them.” Taking his forearm, Therese guided him up the front walk to the wide porch. Taking a set of keys out of her bag, she unlocked the colossal front door and pushed it open, ushering Nick in first.

Finding himself in a spacious entryway, Nick nodded his approval as he looked around, impressed by his surroundings. “Really nice,” he murmured.

“It was custom-built by a Hollywood producer who has a physical disability himself, so I think you’ll find it very accessible. All of the halls and entryways are wider than the standard, and the rooms are very open, allowing you to arrange your furniture in a way that makes it easy to navigate,” Therese explained. “You see there’s a staircase right here that leads up to the second story, but right here…” She walked over to a wide, gold-trimmed door on the other side of the foyer and placed her index finger on a small, raised button nearly camouflaged against the wall next to the door. “… you’ll find-“ She pushed the button, and the door slid open, revealing, “-an elevator.”

Looking pleased at this trick, the realtor smiled brightly at Nick, who raised his eyebrows and came closer to look into the small elevator. “Wow.”

“Very convenient, if I do say so myself. I know you said you don’t mind stairs, but this would make navigating between floors even more effortless, wouldn’t you say? I wish I had one in my house.” She laughed airily.

As she led him through the rest of the house, Therese kept up a running commentary, pointing out all of the usual features and emphasizing the accessibilities. At first, Nick was turned off; he hated thinking of himself as ‘handicapped’ and needing special accommodations because, frankly, most of the time, he did just fine in normal surroundings. His prosthesis allowed him to climb stairs, and the only times he relied on crutches were early in the morning, before he put his leg on, and late at night, after he’d taken it off.

Even so, he had to admit that the house was filled with conveniences. The master bedroom was huge and contained an incredible bathroom that had a walk-in shower with handles and a seat built into the wall and a huge, marble whirlpool tub. All of the floors were hardwood or granite – no plush carpet to trip over or slick tiles to slip on. And he had to admit, that elevator was pretty sweet.

Once he saw the backyard, with its sprawling patio, gorgeous in-ground pool, and postcard view of the ocean, he was sold. Pulling his gaze away from the stunningly turquoise water, he turned to Therese, smiled, and said, “I’ll take it.”

***

“Will you take it already?” Claire asked through gritted teeth, keeping the cheesy smile pasted on her face.

“Cool your jets; I’m working on it,” insisted her father, squinting at the back of his digital camera. The camera had been a Christmas present from her and her brother; now Claire was regretting the technological gift, as she sat waiting to blow out the twenty-six blazing candles on the birthday cake in front of her while her dad tried to figure out how to take a picture on it. At this rate, her parents’ house would burn down before this happened.

“Here, Dad,” Kyle said, jumping up and sprinting over to their father. “Right there… there, now just look into this screen and push the button on top… yeah, that one. Got it?” Flashing Claire a thumbs up along with an exasperated smile, Kyle darted back to his seat at the table.

“Alright, ready, Claire? On three. One… two…”

Claire heaved in a deep breath and exhaled on ‘three,’ leaning over the cake as she struggled to blow out all of the candles. It took her two breaths to do it – jeez, she felt old. And yet, her dad still insisted on getting a picture of her blowing out her candles, as if she were still a little girl. She wasn’t complaining though. God knew she was glad he was around to take pictures for her birthday.

The day had been an okay one so far, not her worst birthday to date, but certainly not her best either. Dianna had taken her out for a birthday breakfast early that morning, before her friend had to go to work. Laureen had called during her lunch break to wish her a happy birthday, and Jamie had called in the afternoon, not only to wish her a happy birthday, but to make plans with her for Friday.

Friday was St. Patrick’s Day, both she and Jamie were Irish, and so now that they lived in the same city again, it practically went unsaid that they were going to party together. “It’ll just be you and me,” Jamie had promised. “Unless you want to invite anyone else along, that is. But I know you haven’t had the greatest of experiences with any of my friends, so I thought I’d leave them out of this one.” That was just as well with Claire. Except for Dianna, people Jamie considered ‘friends’ – Greg… Jerr… Stew… – weren’t high on her list of favorite people.

Claire had made her weekend plans with Jamie as she rode with Kyle, Amber, and the baby to Gainesville for her birthday dinner at her parents’ house. It was a usual Ryan family tradition; they always gathered for dinner on birthdays. Yet as her mother had hugged her and asked her how her day had been, Claire had felt a pang of longing.

Last year, she’d spent her birthday with Nick. And it had been wonderful. He’d woken her up before dawn and taken her out on his boat, where he had a picnic breakfast all ready for her. They’d watched the sunrise together, in each other’s arms. They’d been so happy then, both feeling as if, for once, things were going right for them. Nick had recovered from life-threatening lung surgery and was back in remission, as was she. And they were still at the dawn of their relationship.

What happened to us? she wondered sadly. Why couldn’t we have stayed that way? At times like these, she missed him so much. His hugs. His laugh. His sweetness.

She had not heard from Nick yet that day and wondered if she was going to. He might still be angry about what had happened with Jamie the last time he’d been home. She hadn’t seen him the rest of that week, and he’d left without saying goodbye. She didn’t blame him for being annoyed at her; she’d kicked him out of her apartment, after all. But she’d been annoyed with him too, for practically starting a fight with Jamie. Sure, Jamie had deserved it; Jamie had been acting like an asshole. But Nick didn’t have to act like an asshole too. She’d been exasperated at both of them. Stupid boys.

“Claire?” Her mother’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and she looked up. “Want me to cut the cake?” her mom asked, holding up a large knife.

Flexing the fingers on her otherwise useless broken arm, Claire nodded. “Sure. Thanks.” She watched as her mother sliced proficiently into the large chocolate cake, which she’d baked herself, and dole out pieces. Plopping an extra dollop of frosting on Claire’s piece, she slid the plate in front of her with a motherly smile and that doting look in her eyes. It was a look Claire had received often in the months she had spent living at her parents’ house while she recuperated from her bone marrow transplant.

“I can’t believe my little girl’s twenty-six,” she murmured, rubbing Claire’s shoulder affectionately. “Goodness, time flies. I feel so old.”

So do I, thought Claire. Twenty-six. Jeez. Twenty-five hadn’t seemed so bad, but now that she was on the other side of it, she was struck by a sudden sense of urgency. Time was flying, and her life, which had seemed to stand still for months at a time during her bouts with leukemia, was steaming full ahead again. Or at least, it should have been. It was, in the sense that the days were chugging by, but she didn’t feel as if she were going anywhere.

Last year, she had been. Maybe that was why turning twenty-five had been no sweat. She’d been head over heels in love with Nick, just a few months away from being engaged. A year ago, she never would have guessed that their life together would end before it ever really had a chance to begin. And she certainly couldn’t have fathomed being the one who ended it.

But she had, and now she seemed to be going nowhere again. She was back to living alone in a modest apartment building, with no significant other, and no hope of starting a family anytime soon. It was a little depressing. Her mother had married before she left college and was three years younger than Claire was now when she’d gotten pregnant with Kyle. Of course, times were a little different then, but still… Claire had always hoped to be a wife and a mother by the time she turned thirty. Now that milestone was only four years away, and four years wasn’t that long. She’d spent the last three years developing a relationship with Nick, only to have it end in failure. They could still be friends, but eventually, she wanted more than another friend. She wanted a man she could spend the rest of her life with. But as her engagement to Nick had attested, finding the perfect one for her was easier said than done.

She couldn’t stop thinking about it as she rode home with her brother and his wife that night. Sitting in the back with Kamden, who was sound asleep in his car seat, she listened to Kyle and Amber talking in the front. Occasionally, her brother would reach over and put his hand on top of Amber’s or gently massage the back of her neck, his fingers toying with her hair. Later, she would do the same, rubbing his shoulder or resting her hand on his thigh. Watching their sweet, subtle gestures of love towards each other, Claire was struck with a sudden wistfulness. As much as her independent nature didn’t want her to admit it, she missed the companionship and affection that went along with having a significant other.

But that, she realized, was exactly what had been missing from her relationship with Nick right before she ended it. She’d missed his touch and his company even before she’d left him, because he’d left her. She wanted someone who was going to be around… and he hadn’t been.

Still, now she had no one, and she wasn’t sure it was much of an improvement. She didn’t need a man in her life… but she couldn’t deny that she was starting to want one again. Yet the thought of actually being with anyone other than Nick made her uncomfortable. It still felt too soon.

“Want me to walk you upstairs?” Kyle offered as he pulled his SUV into the parking lot of her apartment complex a while later.

“Nah, you don’t have to. You guys should get home… it’s getting late, and it’s a school night,” Claire replied, flashing a teasing smile at her brother, who taught history at one of the local high schools.

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Kyle groaned and yawned exaggeratedly. “I’m not used to being out this late anymore.”

“Ya old fart,” Claire jested him.

Amber laughed, and Kyle turned around in his seat, smiling back at her good-naturedly. “Yeah, yeah, you say that now… all I can say is enjoy the rest of your twenties, sis, cause once you hit thirty, it all goes downhill from there,” he said with a chuckle. “So go out, have fun, have a life while you still can.”

“I am. Jamie and I are gonna hit the bars on Friday, for St. Patty’s Day.”

“Ah, yeah? Well, have fun then. Be careful. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Kyle winked, but she knew he was only half-kidding. It didn’t matter how old she got; he would still play the protective big brother role.

“Yeah, yeah,” Claire grumbled with a grin. As she reached for her door handle, she added, “Thanks for the ride to Mom and Dad’s.”

Kyle laughed. “You’re the whole reason we went. Happy birthday, Claire-Bear.”

Grimacing at the nickname, Claire told them goodbye and got out of the car. She waved once with her good arm as she walked up to her building and then went inside. As she trudged up the stairs, her cell phone started to ring, its ringtone muffled from inside her purse. She stopped on the landing to dig it out and glanced briefly at the front to see who was calling. Her stomach gave a little jerk as she saw his name, but she answered quickly. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s the birthday girl!” sang Nick’s voice, sounding surprisingly jovial. She was relieved; apparently he’d gotten over his annoyance with her.

“Hey, Nick!” she replied.

“Hey yourself – happy birthday!”

“Thanks!”

“How’s it been going?”

“Fine. Just got back from Gainesville – we had dinner over at my parents’ house.”

“Yum. How was that?”

“Good. Nothin’ too fancy, but it was nice,” she said, as she finally reached her floor. “So how’s your week been?”

“Pretty good. Me and the fellas finished laying down some tracks for a few new songs we been workin’ on… I bought a house…”

Claire came to a halt in the middle of the empty hallway. She forced a cough and said, “Wait, you what?” He bought a house?? Where?!

Nick chuckled, and she could tell he was smiling when he repeated, “I bought a house. It’s right near the coast – perfect view of the ocean.”

“Wait, what ocean? You mean the Pacific Ocean?”

“No, the Arctic Ocean. Yeah the Pacific Ocean,” he laughed, as if it should have been obvious.

“So you’re moving to LA?” she asked, trying to keep the emotion out of her voice. Inside, she was reeling. He bought a place in California? He’s just going to stay there? When will I ever see him if he’s living clear on the other side of the country?

“Well… sort of. I mean, I’ve been living here the last few months anyway, so the only ‘moving’ I’m really doing is out of D’s house and into my own place.”

“You mean you’re not selling your house here?” Her voice rose with hope on the last few words; she didn’t want him to leave Tampa for good.

“Nah… I gotta have a place to live in Florida. Cali’s great, but the Sunshine State’s my home. With all the work we still have left to do on the album and then hopefully a tour, though, I’m gonna have to be spending a lot of time in LA anyway, so I just figured it’d be a good idea to get my own place out here, so I don’t have to impose on Howie anymore. He and Bri have houses on both coasts, so it makes sense, you know?”

“Sure,” she said lightly, awed by how casual he was about owning two homes, just like that. She didn’t even own one! And knowing him, his new house in LA was every bit as nice as the one in Tampa. “So, the house – what’s it look like?” She wanted to know.

“Oh, it’s awesome… it’s more than I was looking for, honestly, but it was so nice, I couldn’t pass it up. D, like, freaked out on me when I came home and told him I got the place on the same day I walked through it, but even he had to agree with me when he saw the place.” Claire could hear the excitement in Nick’s voice as he described the house to her; he sounded like a little kid on Christmas. “I gotta fly you out to see it sometime, Claire.”

“I’d love to, sometime,” she replied, but she knew that wouldn’t be happening any time soon. She’d be back at work by the time he moved in, and after missing so many days because her broken arm and eye surgeries, there was no way she could ask for vacation time… especially not go see her ex-fiancée.

“Well, anytime – you just say the word, and I’ll hook you up,” Nick promised.

On the other end of the line, Claire smiled. A sad smile. Nick was moving on with his life, and she was happy for him. She just wished she could settle on a path for her own life to take and move on as well.

***