There was a small room. The door was dead bolted so that it was impossible to lock. It opened silently to a room that was decorated sparsely with pictures of models on one side and photos of teenagers on the other. A brunette girl sat at a silver laptop, vigorously typing. Her fingers created a symphony by clacking the stark black keys of the computer. She paused for a moment and took a sip of her water bottle.
“Hmmmm… ‘But... But I would never betray my priestess! She is my whole heart!’ Yes that’s perfect!” she exclaimed and continued writing.
“Excuse me…” a low voice interjected, letting out a low cough.
The brunette girl turned around quickly and was met face to face with a small, blonde haired girl holding a tiny notebook. “Yes? Can I help you?”
“I’d like to write a fan fiction... But I don’t know where to start…” the blonde replied nervously, clutching the notebook tightly and holding it over her face.
“What made you seek me out?” the brunette asked, adjusting her sweat shirt zipper and crossing her legs, revealing her very obnoxious rainbow-barf colored slippers.
The blonde blushed in nervousness once more, “I can’t write a fan fiction.. I’m just not good enough. I never know where to start and I can’t come up with ideas…” She lowered her head, “I wish I could write like you.”
The brunette stood up and took a bow, “Thank you!” She then sat down again and leaned forward, “But I don’t claim to be the best writer or that I come up with the best storylines. The thing about fan fic is... Take note of that, if you’re going to start writing, you’ll want to call them fan fics... Anyway, the thing about them is, everyone has their own tastes and, like all writing, everyone starts from somewhere. You don’t write a rough draft of an essay and turn it in without editing it, and expect to get a perfect grade, right?”
The blonde shook her head, “No…”
The brunette stood up again, “Well! Then shall we start? By the way, if we’re talking about fan fics, call me nicksgal!”
“Nicksgal?”
“Well... It originally started as ‘Nick’s Gal’, note the space and apostrophe, but the message board I started on changed its server, thus, it became ‘nicksgal’. But, I still write under the pen name ‘Nick’s Gal’ on my computer.”
“Pen name?”
“Yup! If you’re going to be a fan fic author, you gotta have a pen name! But we’ll discuss that later! Now, tell me... What’s your name?”
“Amanda…”
“Well then Amanda,” nicksgal paused and grabbed a large binder from her desk, “This is all my work to date. I could explain it to you using the annals of history, but I’ll just start this story the easy way!”
“Story?”
“For sure, Mandy! I can call you that, right?”
Amanda nodded.
“I always, always give my friends and characters nicknames, so it’s only natural, right?” nicksgal smiled.
Amanda nodded and furiously wrote “nicknames” in her notebook.
nicksgal stole the notebook and tossed it aside, “No need to take notes! Now! We’re off to Florida and my very favorite street!” nicksgal grabbed Amanda’s hand and turned on her light, blowing a framed photo of Nick a short kiss. The lights dimmed and Amanda shut her eyes quickly.
She opened her eyes slowly and stood on a large street map. “Where are we?”
nicksgal pointed to the header of the map, “This is Orlando, Florida!” nicksgal then pointed to the diagonal name running alongside the diagonal street they stood on, “And this is Fan Fiction Avenue.”
“Fan Fiction Avenue?”
nicksgal nodded, “Yes, we’re in Fan Fiction County.”
“What’s in Fan Fiction County?”
“Well…” nicksgal paused, “All the authors live here and Fan Fiction Avenue is where we go shopping for our ideas!”
“Shopping?”
“Yes,” nicksgal nodded. “It’s also where the joint fan fiction authors rent hotels. One of my favorite places to stay is The Mayan Princess.”
“I’ve read that!” Amanda paused, “Isn’t it haunted?”
nicksgal laughed, “That’s mine and Ashie’s secret.” She winked. “Now, the big intersection in Fan Fiction County is Fan Fiction Avenue and Backstreet Boys Boulevard.”
“What’s there?”
“Backstreet Boys Boulevard is the social district. Think night clubs, day spas, cafes, restaurants, movie theatres, things like that…”
Amanda nodded vigorously, wanting desperately to take notes.
“Now,” nicksgal continued, “Other important streets are Carter Court” That’s where Laura lives, big mansion� I live there too, though much more modestly,” she laughed. “And Littrell Lane, Richardson Road, Dorough Drive... And of course Alexander Avenue.”
“Why does his street use his first name?”
“No street suffixes start with M,” nicksgal answered with a shrug. What other reason was there?
“What does this job pay?”
“Well! There are a few authors that live on Published Place” Like Mare and AJsSweety” They make some money to get the good housing! But otherwise, we are paid in reviews,” she nodded, and gave a short wink, “Hence my modest means.” She chuckled.
“Is it bad that people don’t review you?”
“Depends on how you look at it,” nicksgal smiled, “I write for myself, mostly. So if I’m happy and one other person is happy with my writing, then I consider myself a good author. Since I’m always happy with it, disregarding my old writing of course, I just wait for that one other person and then my work is successful.” She smiled, “So, my place of living isn’t so bad because of that.”
Amanda nodded, “So, what about the people who care about reviews?”
“Their writing usually gets the reviews, so they have nothing to worry about.”
Amanda nodded again.
“Now,” nicksgal motioned her hand to a small building with deep red bricks, “Shall we start you off?”
�What�s that?� Amanda questioned.
�That is the Topic Treehouse.�
�Isn�t a topic what you�re writing about?� Amanda had a puzzled look on her face.
nicksgal nodded, �That�s right��
�Then� Why is it so small?�
nicksgal gave her a haphazard wink, �You�ll see.�
They entered the small building. It was split into two wings with a black curtain centered in the back. The left side of the store was decorated in vibrant pink tones and various sizes of hearts. Its bright pink shelves rose high with rows upon rows of bright heart shaped bottles packaged with pink notebooks decorated with heart clusters. The right side of the store was decorated in yellow and orange tones and various sizes of stars. Its alternating yellow and orange shelves rose high and were littered similarly to the left side, except the packages contained star shaped bottles and yellow and orange notebooks with star clusters.
nicksgal spread her arms out, �Well� Pick a plot!�
Amanda�s face lit up in excitement, �Are they all different? Will it change depending on which bottle I pick?�
nicksgal smiled and shook her head, �Of course not. This store contains both plots packaged nicely for the author.�
�Both plots?�
nicksgal nodded, �On your left� �________ and I fall in love.� On your right� �______ makes me famous.� Pick a plot.�
Amanda pointed to the black curtain, �What�s that back there?�
nicksgal cringed momentarily, �Controversial plots.�
�Controversial?�
nicksgal nodded, �All plots stem down to either love or fame, yet they are plots that claim to exist.�
Amanda swept back the curtain and picked up a package containing a star shaped bottle with a pink liquid and a pink notebook with star clusters. �What�s this?�
�It can either be �______ and I fall in love, then ______ makes me famous� or �________ makes me famous, then we fall in love.��
�Isn�t that an entirely new plot?�
�No,� nicksgal shook her head, �Because at the end one becomes more prominent, dropping the other almost entirely.�
Amanda set it down and picked up a pink set, similar to the ones outside, but the notebook had a black line across it.
�Slash.�
Amanda discarded it and picked up a blood red notebook coupled with an oval shaped bottle of black liquid.
�Vampires.�
A black notebook with a cylindrically shaped bottle.
�Drugs or diseases.�
A circularly shaped bottle and a notebook with an album on it.
�Song fics.�
Amanda began reaching for another package, and then stopped.
�You�ve read a lot of fan fics, right?� nicksgal questioned.
Amanda nodded.
�Then you can probably guess the others.�
Amanda nodded again as they exited the curtained area and returned back to the main room. Amanda quickly grabbed a pink set and they exited the store entirely.
nicksgal gave her smile, �Now, you�re halfway there.�
They walked down the road a little ways and came to a large store decorated in bright green and trimmed with dark green awnings. Its roof was decorated in half circles of a similar dark green color. A giant billboard like sign adorned the roof. The silhouette of a woman was pictured on it.
�What�s that?� Amanda questioned.
�Our next stop,� nicksgal smiled and raised her hand toward the billboard, �This is the Protagonist Penthouse.�
�Protagonist Penthouse? What if a man is the protagonist?�
nicksgal let out a low chuckle, �Oh, a man is never the protagonist.�
She opened the door and the two girls entered. Rows upon rows of androids littered the showroom floor.
nicksgal motioned across the vicinity of the room, �These are models for popular protagonist types,� she then proceeded to point out a few, �Blonde haired, blue eyed, spunky young idol� Brunette, brown eyed shy girl next door� Cunning younger sibling� Seductive vampires� You�ve read enough fan fics, so... You probably know the others.�
Amanda nodded.
�Do any of these appeal to you?�
Amanda shook her head.
�Well, then what kind of protagonist would you like?�
Amanda pondered for a moment, �One like me� I think��
nicksgal grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards a large photography station. A perky girl with pigtails wearing a tiny green jumpsuit and wearing a camera name badge turned around. �nicksgal!� she squealed, �You haven�t visited me in years! What do you need?�
�Hi, Megan�� nicksgal smiled, �I know� I�m usually off visiting Jessica these days.�
�Jessica!� Megan called.
A girl with her hair in a ponytail and wearing a green jumpsuit covered in grease walked out of the workshop area located next to the photography station. Her eyes lit up upon seeing nicksgal, �nicksgal! Did you come to request a protagonist again?�
nicksgal shook her head, �No, but I�ll probably be back in a few months.�
�Still working on the demons and priestesses story?�
nicksgal smiled, �Of course! It�ll be the only one I finish on the spot.� She laughed.
�Yeah, a year later�� Jessica mused.
�Hey, I�ve visited you plenty since!�
�True�� Jessica smiled.
�Anyway�� nicksgal turned back to Megan, �This is my friend Mandy, I�m here with her. She�d like a Mary Sue for her protagonist.�
Megan gave her the thumbs up and put a large camera on the counter, �Smile!�
Amanda smiled.
The machine shot out a picture instantly. Megan then opened a cabinet and pulled a small box from it. She slipped the picture into the box and a green light lit up. The small box than unfolded and materialized as an exact copy of Amanda.
�Hi!� the android smiled, �My name is Amanda!�
�Do you want me to do some tweaking to it?� Jessica asked.
Amanda shook her head.
Jessica crossed her arms and smiled, �Let me guess, this is your first time here, huh?�
Amanda nodded.
�Where are you headed now?� Megan asked excitedly.
�Boy Toys R� Us,� nicksgal answered quickly.
�I have to go back there soon�� Megan paused and clenched her fist lightly.
�Me too�� Jessica agreed. �After work?�
�Yeah,� Megan answered.
nicksgal pulled Amanda and the android toward the door, �See you girls later.�
�Bye!!!� they called.
They exited back on the street.
�I don�t really like your demon story,� Amanda told her quietly.
nicksgal laughed, �Not many people do,� she turned to her and smiled, �Sticking with romance is probably best for you.�
They stopped in front of a five story building painted in black and blue.
nicksgal smiled, �And this� is Boy Toys R� Us!�
They entered the main doors and came to an information kiosk. An employee dressed similarly to a flight attendant sat behind the circular counter. �Which floor?� she asked.
Amanda paused silently, and then fiddled with her fingers, �Ummm� Well� I wanted the group to be in the story.�
�Which floor?� she asked again, growing impatient.
nicksgal put her hand on Amanda�s shoulder, �You need to pick one for the male lead� A girl who can�t pick is clearly indecisive.�
Amanda stammered for a moment and finally answered, �Nick.�
�Floor five,� the employee spoke into a microphone and a large tube shot down from the ceiling. The girls were encased in it and shot upward. They emerged on the fifth floor. A blond haired man with blue eyes approached them.
�NIIIIICK!!!!!!!� Amanda shrieked.
The blonde man put his hand up, �Not so loud� I�m not Nick; I�m the Nick-a-like� I help customers on the fifth floor. So� Which Nick model were you looking for?�
Amanda stared at him in silence.
The Nick-a-like paused, �Hmmmm� Well, our most popular models include �Pop Star Nick,� �Angsty Nick,� �Sex God Nick�� And we have various age versions as well.�
�Nick during Millennium�� Amanda answered.
�Would you like an equipped model?�
�Equipped?�
The Nick-a-like nodded, �Yes! All of our models are available fully equipped!�
nicksgal crossed her arms and nodded, �Yes� One three letter word equals big houses and lots of reviews.�
�And that is?�
�S-E-X,� nicksgal nodded.
�Oh� Well then� Yes� I want a fully equipped model�� Amanda blushed.
The Nick-a-like clapped his hands, �Excellent!� He pulled a Millennium Nick android from a vertical box and presented it to her. He slipped an album into his head.
The android�s eyes lit up, �Hi! My name is Nickolas Gene Carter! I�m nineteen years old. I want it that way!!!!!�
The Nick-a-like crossed his arms, �Now� There are a few things you need to know� What kind of story are you writing?�
�Romance�� Amanda answered.
�Well, then it�s a good thing you got the fully equipped model,� the Nick-a-like nodded, �All of our Nick models are highly durable, easily pleasurable, highly emotional, fully posable and manipulatable. Other than that, they are also easily susceptible to diseases and bleed very easily. They also have a sixth sense for other worldly things like angels.�
nicksgal smirked, �In other words, they are naturally built to be manic depressive suicidal sex-crazed psychos.�
The Nick-a-like shook his head, �Not at all, they are naturally built to provide each work with a multi-faceted character that works in any situation. Each model also comes with a high bit-rate processor that can shrink the size of any task monumentally. That is, he can accomplish any task in half the time and is susceptible to marry the female lead in a matter of weeks.� He clapped his hands again, �Now! Were the other three members going to be in your story as well?�
nicksgal let out a laugh.
�But I wanted the group� There are five members in the group,� Amanda protested.
�AJ� Brian� Kevin�� the Nick-a-like counted, �I got three.�
�Howie!!!� Amanda protested.
�Well then� Here are the things you need to know about our other models as well�� The Nick-a-like paused, �Our Howie all come with an invisibility function, that way, they only need appear for their necessary first chapter, three chapters in the middle, and last chapter. He comes prepared with a naturally winking eye and perky disposition that drives the others up the wall. Our Howie models are only fully equipped upon request.�
Amanda nodded.
�Are you writing about the mafia?� the Nick-a-like asked.
She shook her head.
�Well then, you don�t actually need Howie in there at all.�
Amanda stared at him open-mouthed.
�Our Brian models are also only fully equipped on request. Each model comes with a lovely cross necklace. They are easily killed with minimal mess and come with retractable angel wings and a faded, high-pitched voice that only our Nick models can hear. He is also built with an automatic joke processor and a high bit-rate moral center. He also has a self destruct button in case he happens to say something important of a non-moral nature.�
Amanda nodded again.
�Our Kevin models come fully equipped and accented with a large gun. His hard drive recognizes Nick as an enemy and is uploadable to recognize the author as a relative. Each model is uptight and domineering. And he tends to hurt anyone that brings pain to Nick, only for the purpose of his own Nick-bashing. He is highly volatile with all Nick models as well as all AJ models and is likely to punch either or both."
Amanda nodded again.
�Our AJ models all come fully equipped and have a miniature disco ball. They have a high-bit processor for loud music and can respond on command with hundreds of dance moves. His personality is manipulatable to mash with the authors. Each model can also attract hundreds of female androids with the touch of a button. And generally speaking, one of these androids magically comes back with a child later.�
Amanda nodded again.
�Well, that�s all!� the Nick-a-like clapped his hands once more and the shoot appeared around the girls and the androids again, �Go pick your models and please enjoy them thoroughly.�
The girls disappeared down the shoot. In minutes they had accumulated four more androids.
�Where now?� Amanda questioned.
�The travel agency!� nicksgal pointed to it. The building had a large airplane on top of it.
They entered the doors, another flight attendant greeted them.
�Hello!� she smiled, �Where would you like to travel on Backstreet Air?� She motioned to a map, �Our list of locations includes many exotic locales that are very popular!�
�Umm� Orlando�� Amanda stammered.
�Also an excellent choice!� the flight attendant handed her a keychain with a red car charm on it, �We have express rental cars directly to Orlando!�
Amanda took the keys and nicksgal led her outside the travel agency.
�Now where?� Amanda asked.
�That�s it!� nicksgal smiled. �The rest is all up to you and that little notebook.�
�But� I never know where to start�� Amanda paused.
�Well, you have the characters, location, and basic plot, the rest is just detail work.�
�Oh�� Amanda paused.
nicksgal waved to her as she walked off. �Bye!!! Hope to see you on Carter Court sometime soon!�
nicksgal appeared back in the small room with the laptop. �Now� Not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to get to Fan Fiction County and its elaborate shops. When writing fan fiction, the best thing to remember is that everyone has different likes and dislikes. You may write something and not everyone will like it. That�s just the way it goes. Most importantly, put what you�ve learned in English class to use! Use spelling, grammar, and remember the basic structure of a story: exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution. The Exposition is the characters, scenery, introduction of conflict, and basic plot set up. The rising action is the course of action that leads to the climax. The climax is the part of the story that is the most important and action packed. The falling action is anything that results from the climax. And the resolution is when all the loose ends are tied and the conflict is resolved.� nicksgal smiled, �Just remember those basic elements, and then let the story tell itself. Everything then becomes relatively easy! Most importantly, write what you know! The best stories come from the author�s heart. If you remember that, you�re sure to get reviews! And of course, the more you write, the better you get!� nicksgal smiled and turned back to her computer. �Of course! �The priestess reached her arms toward him and comforted his ailing heart� �You don�t need to battle for me� I love you.�� She sat down to her laptop and began typing vigorously once more.
Author's Chapter Notes:
This is only supposed to be funny. Please do not take this as my full opinion. I must also give credit to Who Da Man, Inc for inspiration to my musings. ^_^
