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Chapter 26
December 24th, 2005

AJ couldn’t get to the airport fast enough. He egged his driver to go faster but the roads were a mess from the weather and he didn’t want to cause an accident. AJ tapped his knees anxiously with his fingers hoping that he wasn’t too late.
While they were waiting at a traffic light, he pulled out of his jacket pocket, the picture he kept of him and Win. It had been taken not too long after they had finally admitted they were together. She looked so happy with him. He hoped that he was right, that he knew she still loved him.
“Monsieur, we are here,” AJ looked up and saw they were parked in front of the airport. Hurriedly he stuffed the photo back in his pocket, paid the cab driver and bolted into the airport lobby.
He got through security quickly, because he had only his wallet and passport on him and was directed to the gate he was looking for.
He galloped down the terminal, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, finally 35. Each sign seemed like a ray of hope and a death sentence at the same time. Each one could be bringing him closer to Win or closer to the absence of her.
He stopped under the sign for gate 35 and closed his eyes before turning around to look for Win. When he turned, he scanned the seating area, he didn’t see her. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he recognized her. She was looking at her watch, waiting impatiently.
He swooped over to her and she jumped when she saw him.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, standing up to look at him. She was frightened by his sudden appearance, this was what she had wanted to avoid.
“You can’t go, not like this. You can’t.” He shook his head and tried to catch his breath.
“How do you know that?” she evaded his eyes, she didn’t want to look at him.
“Because I’m afraid, that if you get on that plane, you’ll never come back, and I’ll lose you forever,” he tried to get her to look at him but she wouldn’t.
“I need to know. I can’t help it, I need to. You had to know with your father, right, I need to know with my parents too, my family.” He took hold of her arms and made her look at him.
“They are not your parents, not your real ones anyway. They are not your family. Elizabeth was your family, the girls you lived with, they were your family. The guys, the crew, Latecia, Winnie, me, we are your family.”
“How is that possible?” she asked, trying not to let herself sound so unsure.
“Because we all love and care about you, and need you. They don’t need you. We do. I do. I need you Win, I love you, I need you, and I want you to stay here, with me, your family.”
“But what about, I don’t know, what if I don’t ever ask those questions?” he took her face in his hands and looked her directly in the eyes.
“You have been asking them. But running to people who have no desire to love you is not going to fix you. Running from a good life and people that love you is not gonna solve that problem for you.”
“I am broken, into a thousand pieces, and maybe if I know, maybe that will help. I had my whole life, my whole history, it was an invention in my head, now, I have to reinvent myself, reinvent my entire life, reinvent my purpose for being here,” Win said with difficulty.
“Flight 407 Paris to Chicago is now boarding!” the intercom blared first in French, German and then English.
Win yanked away from him.
“I have to go.” She grabbed her back pack and rat cage, turning her back to AJ.
“Win, please don’t go.”
“I have to know,” she replied simply.
“Win, I’m begging you, please, I need you to stay here, with me, please,” AJ was begging now, knowing that if she did get on that plane she wouldn’t come back and if she did, she would never be the same, for better or worse. She walked away from him, steadily, sure and unsure all at the same time of what she was doing.
He walked after her a few paces and called out to her.
“I’ve been the coward Win,” she was at the counter waiting for the stewardess to take her ticket. She didn’t turn to look at him.
“I pushed you away and I let all that happen. I know I did. Don’t do what I did, please, don’t,” he spoke to her back, taking a step every time he dared. He was waiting for her to bolt and trying not to scare her away.
“I was too stupid to see what I had right in front of me. And Win, if it’s crazy, I don’t care, and I have to say it to you before I chicken out again,” the stewardess handed her back the ticket and she shifted her shoulder strap before walking towards the terminal entrance.
“Win, marry me!” he shouted after her. She stopped dead in her tracks, halting so suddenly that AJ even stopped.
“What?” she turned around and looked at him, surprised, confused, scared, all at once.
“Yeah, marry me! Tonight, on Christmas, in Paris. You and me,” AJ threw his arms up and laughed a bit, trying to hold everything together.
“You wanted me to find out what we’re supposed to do, that crazy, impulsive, rash, irresponsible but wonderful thing, and this is it. Win, marry me!” He shouted it again, his smile lopsided and waiting for her.
Win looked like for a moment things could go either way. She put down her heel as if to step backwards then leaned forward again on the ball of her foot. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. When she opened her eyes again they had tears in them. She bit her lip and looked up at AJ, then, she nodded.
“You will? You will? You mean it?” AJ nearly collapsed in shock, falling backwards slightly and laughing.
“YES! AJ, I’ll marry you,” she laughed and tears fell out of her eyes.
“SHE SAID YES!” AJ jumped and whooped before running to Win and scooping her up in his arms.
“Don’t do that to me again, don’t ever do that, please, Win, damn, I just love you.” He held her and laughed, smiled, crushed her soul into his own in his embrace. Win picked up her watch and looked at the time, 12:01 on the dot. She kissed AJ and smiled as she pressed her lips to his. She loved this man, and for now, that was all she was going to worry about.