By the time we got back to shore and ate dinner, it was already very late. The butterflies in my stomach were already in overdrive. I didn't want tomorrow to come. I didn't want to see her. Not at all. I said goodnight to everyone and made my way upstairs. I knew this night would bring no sleep for me at all. I had actually contemplated asking AJ if he wanted to try to pull an all nighter with me. Like we used to back in the old days when we were too young to drink but not too young to miss it.
We would have our own stupid competition back then, see who can stay up the longest. We would play video games, cards, and just babble. AJ did most of the babbling and it was about sex of course. Until the gray of day would finally make it's appearance. Both triumphant but then regretful when we would have a full days schedule ahead. Neither of us ever really thought about that. Kevin would always get so pissed at us, but that made us want to do it even more.
"Why do you have that stupid ass grin on your face man?" I looked away from my flashback and saw Brian laughing at me.
"Huh?"
"Were you daydreaming or something?"
"I guess"
"Is something wrong Nick?"
I rolled me eyes at him. "No, nothing's wrong. I was just thinking about the all nighters AJ and I used to pull"
"Oh yeah right, I remember those"
"We would always ask you to join us but you never lasted any later than 2am, Remember?"
"That's because you guys were idiots!" He cracked himself up so I laughed too.
"Night Brian" I said smiling at him.
"Goodnight Nick, and don't worry.."
"I know..everything will be okay. It's almost over" I was getting so used to these little talks that I was able to finish them for him. He nodded and gave me a hug.
I walked into my room and instantly felt chills go up my back. I turned on the light cautiously and made my way over to the bed. My room had a sickly sweet smell to it. An unmistakable smell. Lavender and Lilacs. I closed my eyes briefly taking in a big whiff. Yup definitely Lavender and Lilacs. Trish!
I started to hyperventilate a bit. Almost running to the door and calling for help. God calm yourself down Kaos, its just a smell. Could be the cleaning ladies or one of the security guards..breathe...breathe...breathe...
I finally got control of my emotions. It was impossible for Trish to be here, she was in prison. A new wave of nerves hit me as once again, I remembered that I would be seeing her tomorrow. I decided to go over to my window and sit and keep watch. Maybe that would make me feel better. The TV was playing some generic late movie in the background.
I can't even say how long I sat by that stupid window, all I know was by the time I actually got up and stretched, the clock read 3:15. I stood up and worked yet another kink out of my neck and decided to go get myself a snack. Nervous eating definitely but at least it would keep me occupied.
Once again as I descended the steps I was greeted with the sight of Kevin sitting in my big chair. Cigarette in one hand and beer in the other. I couldn't see his face but it creeped me out the way he just sat there with no lights on. He seemed to do that all the time these days. Like he was dodging the light or something.
I walked passed him as I made my way to the kitchen. "Kev, you should really get some sleep, I mean tomorrow is going to be hell"
"I don't sleep. No reason to sleep anymore. I am a creature of the night" I froze when I heard the voice. My back was to him just then. I was standing in the doorway to my kitchen, I slowly turned around to face him.
"What?" I asked hoping I was hearing wrong.
"You heard me, I don't sleep Nick and neither do you" I backed up against the wall. Shaking violently.
"Don't be scared my little lamb, everything will be all right" He put his beer down and made his way over to me. My feet were paralyzed. My voice just a whisper.
"You..how?"
He came over and tousled my hair, his breath smelled like smoke.
"It was faith that brought me here Nick. I will never die. I am immortal" I felt a warm flow developing between my legs. I was wetting myself. Joe laughed when he noticed.
"Let's go in here, your friends have been waiting for you" He grabbed my arm and pulled me into my kitchen.
Once the light was turned on I saw them. All sitting on my four chairs in the kitchen. All looking as petrified as I felt. They were bound and gagged. They all just sat frozen. "Nooo" I whispered as I began to cry. Joe came over and hugged me, "Shhh..it's okay. It will be okay my young friend"
"No, please let them go" He came and stood right in front of me placing his hands over mine. "Now you know I can't do that right? It was my father's will that they should be here with you"
"No" Is all I could say.
He moved away from me for a moment, placing his hands to his chin. "I hate to do this to you so early on, but if you are willing to make an ultimate sacrifice, I will let three of them go"
"Yes anything"
"Have you ever seen Sophie's choice Nick?" When I didn't acknowledge what he said he kept going, "It's a shame. Gotta be one of my favorite movies ever. Meryl Streep won an Oscar. I highly recommend it..well maybe in another life" He cackled then, with so much ferocity in his voice I jumped back. He moved to me to try to calm me down again, "There there kiddo, how are you ever going to make it through this if you are going to be so jumpy?" He guided me over to where my bandmates were and made me sit down.
"Now as I was saying, Sophie's Choice deals with A choice that a mother has to make. It's a painful choice but one that I feel like you should make now" I was still shaking uncontrollably, looking down at the floor trying not to glance at my bandmates bound feet.
"Nick! Are you listening to me?" He grabbed my head and I felt Kevin move slightly as he did.
"Yes, I am listening", I said still voice no bigger than a whisper.
"Good...now here is my proposition, I will let them go as long as you pick one to die" I felt my eyes grow big.
"What?"
"This is getting tiresome...I know you heard me, so who is it gonna be?" I shook my head as I saw all of them now squirming and crying behind their gags.
I stood up knowing what I had to say, "Me! Kill me, let them all go"
There were muffled objections coming from my brothers, but I remained strong.
"Now that was brave of you my lamb, but unfortunately you are going to die anyway, so I'm afraid you don't count. Now pick..One of them or they all die right now" Joe took out a gun.
"I can't!" I said looking around the room frantically for anything I could hit him with. Anything I could get my hands on.
"You have one minute!" He said and then he set a timer.
"I can't do this you can't make me do this! Let them all go please!!"
"No can do" I was hysterically crying now. Every part of me shaking uncontrollably.
"You have 30 seconds"
"No! Please..me kill me even torture me but leave them alone!"
"20 seconds" They all looked like their eyes were going to pop out of their heads from fright.
"Not Brian or Kevin they are married"
"10 seconds!" He said raising his gun.
"No!! God why are you doing this to me?"
"5...4...3.."
"Okay okay" I looked over at Howie, he gave me an understanding look.
"2.."
"Howie!!" I said. Just then Joe raised his gun and shot Howie right in the head.
"HOWIE!!" I screamed, over and over again
"No!! Please! God HOWIE!!!"
"Nick!" Joe was shaking me violently now.."HOWIE!!"
"Nick!!" Just for a second I thought I recognized Howie's voice, I opened my eyes and saw Howie staring at me, looking pale and scared.
"Nick! What is wrong?"
"Howie?" I asked, then I looked around totally disoriented, I was sitting on the floor by my bedroom window, my bandmates crowded around me.
"Yes it's me Nicky, are you okay?" He was gently shaking me. Kevin was standing behind me rubbing my back while AJ and Brian stood off to the side not knowing what to do to help.
"He must have had another nightmare" Howie said to them.
"I'm sorry Howie..I didn't mean.." Then I began to cry hysterically falling into his arms.
"Jesus Christ, should we call a doctor or something?" I heard AJ ask.
"No, this happens a lot" Howie replied calmly.
"What did that bastard do to him?" Kevin asked no one in particular.
"Nick can we get you something? You have to get ready for court kiddo" Brian said lovingly.
I was finally calming down a bit, able to get my breathing under control again. It was a nightmare, only a nightmare. I pulled myself away from Howie realizing that I had really wet myself. No one said anything.
"I better jump into the shower" I said standing up and letting out a sigh.
"You want to talk about it?" Howie asked me as I grabbed a few towels and made my way to my shower.
"Do I ever want to talk about it?" I asked as I closed my door shutting them out.
I got myself into the shower and broke down into hysterical crying again as I laid in a fetal position letting the warm drops fall all over me.
