Time stood still and all I heard was the beating of my heart. That and the muffled cries of my wife in the background on the telephone. It was all a blur from this point on. A blur. I clutched the phone tight against my ear, "Leave her alone" I said in an elevated voice. Much louder than I had intended it to be.

"Shhh...better stay quiet Kevin. We don't want your friends to hear"

"Who is this?" I hissed into the phone as my wife's crying became even quieter. I could tell she was being led away. Farther away from me.

"That's unimportant. All you need to know is that we are watching you Kevin. We are watching your every move. Now go do what God has truly intended you to do or I can put your wife on now to say goodbye" I felt a few tears roll down my eyes. I have never felt that helpless before.

"Please don't hurt her...Please... I'll give you anything you want"

"Can you assure me a place in heaven?"

"What?" Kevin was sidetracked by Dave entering the house and giving him a look. He knew and understood exactly what was going on, on the other end of that phone. It all became clear to me then. Dave had also gone through this.

"I said can you assure me a place in heaven?" Dave walked over to me and just stood by my side. "No, of course not but either can he. Joe is not the Messiah"

"Shut up! Blaspheme!" I could tell he was getting angry and I didn't want that to happen.

"Can I speak to her?"

"Yes, after you do what you are meant to do"

"And what is that?"

"Convince the boy to go see Trish! I thought that was explained to you"

"But.."

"You have thirty minutes" And then he hung up. Leaving me standing there with the phone in my hand feeling lost. I started to sway and luckily Dave caught me before I fell to the floor. Otherwise that would have been precious moments lost.

"Why me?" I asked again. I didn't understand. I never would.

"You have to do it Kevin. They are everywhere"

"Who?" I was half listening to Dave and half trying to picture Kristin sitting in a chair tied up somewhere with a madman holding a knife to her neck. "Oh God I...we..I don't know what to do?"

Dave pulled me close to him and whispered in my ear, "He WILL kill her Kevin. You have to do it"

I could only stare at David. I wanted his stern expression to turn into a smile. Maybe this was all some kind of sick joke. Maybe none of this was real. Maybe...

"Can't we just trick him into thinking we told Nick to go see Trish? Maybe put a wig on someone else? Maybe a policeman?"

"You don't understand Kevin" Dave looked around the room really talking softly. So was I for that matter.

"What don't I understand?"

"I am not here alone"

"What?"

"Remember there are 12 of us"

"Are you saying that someone else here is working for Joe?"

"Against their will... yes"

"Who?"

"I can't tell you that. Just remember you are the 11th Kevin"

"I don't want to play this game anymore" I said getting so annoyed with the whole thing I was ready to just walk out the damn door and never look back. I wished it was only a game.

"Kevin, you walk out that door and she's as good as dead. They both are" I turned around stopping before I turned the door handle.

"How? How can I do what you are asking of me?"

"I don't know" I wish someone had the answers.

Time stood still for just a moment. I wrapped my head around the situation as best I could, I put on my stage smile and I walked into the kitchen ready to betray the boy I loved like my own brother.

I sat at my table twiddling my thumbs, occasionally looking over at my untouched piece of pepperoni pizza. I felt a headache coming on. I have never suffered from headaches before. Colds and stomach viruses? Hell yes but I have always been lucky when it came to headaches. Until the last few weeks happened. Since the whole stupid trial all the memories came flooding back and my head has constantly felt the effects.

I rubbed at my eyes, a movement that didn't exactly go unnoticed by my friends. They seemed to notice everything these days.

"You okay?" Howie asked his voice thick with frustration and concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine D. Just a little tired that's all"

"Maybe you should hit the hay"

"It's kind of early don't you think?"

"To sleep? Never!" I laughed. Howie would sleep all day every day if given the opportunity.

Kevin and Dave walked in cutting off our conversation. I smiled at them. They seemed like they were angry at each other. To be honest I didn't care to know. I had my own problems. I didn't need to know about a stupid security breech that would end up being nothing. All it would do is add to the stress.

Kevin took a seat next to me and grabbed a piece of pizza out of the box, "Everything alright?" Brian asked from across the room. I didn't want to know the answer to that question. Not unless Kevin was about to tell us they found Joe's decaying carcass outside.

"Yeah, everything's great" Was his response. He smiled at his cousin and then began eating his pizza like there was no tomorrow.

"You know what I was thinking?" Everyone looked Kevin's way. When he saw all eyes on him he continued, first taking a swig of Root Beer, "I was thinking that maybe you should go see Trish"

The silence and tension I felt in the room was unbearable. I was shocked. I almost asked him to repeat himself. "You want me to go see her?"

He pushed his plate away and sat back in his chair, "I think you should. Think about it kiddo. You are so tense and stressed out. Maybe by going to see her, you can put it all behind you, once and for all"

"That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard!"

"Brian, it's not your decision to make"

"It's not yours either Kev. Nick, listen to me, you need to forget about that stupid bitch once and for all" Brian was now standing. Pacing back and forth.

"Calm down guys, this isn't helping any. He is tired and should go to sleep. He needs his rest" Howie offered up quietly. I was at a loss for words and for once, so was AJ. We both kind of just sat there with dumb expressions on our faces.

"I just think it's something he really needs to do. I will go with you if you want"

"Kevin, don't be an ass! He doesn't need to see her. Can't you see she is still controlling his life?" Brian seemed totally out of control now.

"Brian relax. He needs this"

"No he doesn't"

"Yeah Brian, maybe I do" I didn't even realize I had such a strong opinion on the subject until I heard my own words break through the tense kitchen. "Maybe I should go see her. I think Kevin is right"

Brian threw up his hands and walked away from us. He stood leaning against the sink looking like he was ready to throw some of the dirty dishes which were piled in there at either Kevin or myself.

"Are you sure Nicky? I mean that is a big decision. Don't let anyone talk you into it" There Howie went again, treating me like a child. "Believe it or not D, I am actually capable of making my own decisions"

"I know that..but.."

AJ now decided to speak up. His voice strong and sure, "If Nick wants to go, he should go"

Brian sighed in disgust, "You too?"

"No Bri, man I am sick just thinking about it, but maybe he should go. Kevin might be right. It could be good therapy for him"

Kevin looked over at AJ and smiled before his green eyes fixed on me. I trusted Kevin. I trusted his advice and he was saying what the little voices inside my head had been whispering to me since Trish had asked me to go visit her in the first place.

"I'm going" I finally said. Brian walked out of the room in a complete fury and the others remained only staring at me.

"How about I arrange a meeting with her for tonight?" Dave was grabbing for his cell phone. My heart skipped a beat, "tonight?" I asked suddenly swallowing the extra saliva that made it's way into my mouth.

"Yes, I'm sure we would be able to set up a private meeting for tonight, so this way the press won't be aware of what is going on"

"What do you think?" I asked Kevin. I must have caught him off guard because he looked like he had seen a ghost. "Kev? you okay man?"

"Uh...yeah, I'm fine...I think.." He swallowed hard, then looked over at Dave. How odd that was.

"I think you should go, and I'll go with you" Kevin started to get up but was interrupted by Dave, "No, Kevin. I am going with him, you stay right here"

"But I told him I would go" I wanted Kevin to win this argument. I needed him to be there with me.

"No! You NEED to stay here" They stared each other down for a few moments and then finally Kevin looked away, and my heart sank.

"Let me just check with her lawyer and we'll get going" Dave got up and walked out of the room. Leaving the four of us standing there staring at one another.

"I'm doing the right thing....right?" I had asked them that so many times in my career. The last time being after I had told them I was going solo. I felt so unsure then just like now.

"Yeah Nick, you are" AJ said confidently. He came over and pat me on the back.

Dave walked in holding my jacket in his hands. I guess that meant we got the all clear. I nodded and stood up only to be greeted by Kevin, "I love you Nick" He said grabbing me in a huge hug.

"I love you too Kevin"

Then Howie came over and grabbed me by my arms and did the very same thing. "I love you too kiddo. No matter what" No matter what? That was another odd thing to say.

Kevin and Howie exchanged looks, like they were the only two in on a joke or something. I shrugged, "Okay, well wish me luck guys"

"Good luck" They all said.

I wished Brian was there. He had a way of making me feel better and even though I knew he was dead set against me going, I also knew he would have still helped me get through it. Just as the thought framed my mind, Brian framed my line of vision. Not quite the calm composed picture I had hoped for. Especially when it came to the gun he had now held in his hands. Aiming at Dave...