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Kevin woke and tried to focus in the darkness. The digital clock at the side of the bed glared angrily against the night. Four o’clock Kevin thought to himself. He stretched and rolled over to make sure his movement hadn’t woken Ellena. The other side of the bed was cold and empty. Kevin sat up and swung his legs over to the floor. He ran a hand through his hair and felt his way to the bedroom door.
Soft golden light spilled into the hallway from Lacey’s room. Kevin crept up to the doorway and peeked inside. Ellena was sitting on Lacey’s bed with a worn out blue rabbit in her hands. Her fingers stroked the fur absently as she stared blankly at the yellow coverlet. She spoke to Kevin without looking at him.
“I forgot to pack Mr. Hops. She’ll be really upset with me.” She murmured. Kevin walked across the room and sat beside Ellena on the bed.
“Ellena,” Kevin started. She stood abruptly and walked to the window. She traced an imaginary form over the glass. She watched the city below without actually focussing on one thing in particular. The man on the corner caught a taxi. The young girl up the street leaned suggestively against a lamppost and waved at a car passing by. She had watched so many nights, just like this one, pass by right through that same window.
“Lacey was a very fussy baby. I used to stand at this window every night, trying to get her to sleep. She would cry and cry, like her little heart was going to break. Usually I cried too. I was only seventeen and I was so alone. She would never go to sleep without me walking miles upon miles in this room. I’m surprised there isn’t a hole worn in the floor.” Ellena stopped tracing her finger against the window and leaned her forehead against the pane. “I was so mad at Eric for leaving her with me. I prayed he would come and take her back. All I wanted was to go back to the academy and become a dancer.” She whispered.
Kevin cleared his throat. “Ellena, this was not your fault.”
Ellena turned away from the window and faced Kevin. “Do you know what her first word was?”
Kevin shook his head. “Lala. Her first word was Lala. Not Daddy, not Mommy. It was my name. My name.”
She leaned against the wall and clutched the stuffed rabbit to her chest. “What am I going to do without her, Kevin?” She whispered. She slid down the wall to the floor, her legs twisted underneath her. “How am I going to live without her?” She buried her face in her hands as a sob escaped her lips.
Kevin came over to her and knelt by her feet. He knew that there was nothing he could say that would comfort her at a time like this. He wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her across the floor close to his torso. She sobbed into his chest, wetting his t-shirt with her tears. Kevin rocked her back and forth for what seemed like hours, while she cried until she had no more tears to cry. Kevin rained kisses onto he face and eyelids. She fell asleep to the sound of Kevin’s heartbeat and the gentle swaying motion of her body in his arms.

~*~

“What do you mean you’re not coming in today?” Brian almost shouted into the phone. Kevin grimaced. He had phoned everyone else before dialing Brian’s cel phone number. Unfortunately, Brian was the only one who had his phone turned on. “Where are you?”
“I’m at Ellena’s and I –“
“I should have guessed as much.” Brian interrupted. “Kevin, do you know what you are doing?”
Kevin was immediately angry. “Yes, I know what I’m doing. What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Brian forced himself to speak with more control. “I’m just worried about you man. Maybe you’re in over your head with this woman.”
“Maybe you should keep your opinions to yourself and stay the hell out of my private life.” Kevin snapped and hung up the phone. “Damn you Brian.” Kevin cursed.
“Kevin?” Ellena’s voice floated down the hallway to the living room. Kevin set his phone on the end table and walked down the hallway to her bedroom. Kevin had carried her back to her bedroom after she fell asleep in Lacey’s room. He opened the door and sat down on the end of the bed.
“Hi.” He said.
“Hi.” She replied barely louder than a whisper. She still had tear tracks down her face and her eyes were red and puffy.
“How are you feeling?” Kevin asked.
Ellena bit her bottom lip and shook her head softly. Fresh tears were already beginning to form in her eyes.
“You should go to rehearsal today.” She murmured, letting him know she had overheard his conversation with Brian.
“I don’t want to leave you alone, Ellena. Not when you are like this.” He argued. He wanted to protect her from all the ugly things in her life.
“I won’t be alone, Kevin. I have to work today.”
“How can they expect you to go into work after all that happened yesterday?”
Ellena stared blankly at him. “Ken will be expecting me to work. I don’t have a choice whether I want to go or not.”
A few tears spilled down Ellena’s cheeks. The look of hurt and loss in her eyes was almost too much for Kevin to see. He had to look away from her. He promised himself right then and there that that look would never be on her face because of anything he ever did. He would never hurt her that way. He turned back to her and smiled sadly.
“I guess I’ll go then. I’ll pick you up from work tonight.”
Ellena shook her head. “I have to close up tonight. I won’t be done until about three. Just go home and get some sleep. I’ll be fine.”
Kevin decided not to argue with her. He would do exactly what she wanted. He nodded and put his hands on her waist. He leaned closer to draw her into a hug but she stopped him by putting her hand on his chest.
“Please don’t. I don’t want to cry anymore.” She whispered. Kevin held her face in his hands and kissed her softly on the lips.
“I’ll call you tonight when you get home from work.” He got up to leave. He kissed her hair and left the room. A moment later, Ellena heard him leave the apartment. Blinking back tears, she rose from the bed and made her way to the shower. She had no time to grieve today. Ken would be expecting her at work in two hours.