"Glitz and Glamour"
Chapter Four: Avoidance…Again
London Miffton. What the hell. That heiress, she rocked my world and fucked it up all at the same time during the six months we dated. She was…well an experience. How the hell do I describe her? Look aight, I fell for her hard. I didn’t mean to, but I did. At first there was substance beyond the snotty heiress image everyone else in this world saw.
She took me in and that relationship was a damn adventure. It was very hyped, media everyone we went. We turned it into a game, how much we could get away with. I stayed true for her, heh until she cheated on me. See I had been steady and faithful for the first time. (Before Cally) Her doing that was like a bitch slap in the face. Then I got pissed and cheated back. It became a cheating war till I finally had to say maybe this should stop. I wanted to even stay friends with her despite it all, cause fuck I once really cared about her.
London couldn’t take that idea. It became her mission to destroy my world. She used make up to get some fake bruises on her. Made sure she was seen by my old place. Suddenly I’m this woman beater. People I knew couldn’t look me in the eye. Brian…even Brian had to ask if I did it. He believed me, but hell the fact he had to ask hurt like a bitch. Kevin and AJ both just told me to tell them the truth. I said I didn’t do it and they took that as enough.
Even now the media still hounds my ass about it. It’s been six months since all that shit went down. People don’t forget easy. It’ll follow my big ass forever and I didn’t even do it. So, why the fuck was she calling?
Truth time, part of me wanted to answer, am I fucking out of my God damn mind?
I ain’t answering.
And look…now I have a voicemail.
Why the fuck am I caring?
“Nick who was that…you alright?”
I stuffed the phone in my pocket. Answering would only lead to bullshit. “No one Bri, no one.”
“So come here and we’ll play cards.”
I look and around and NOW I notice something. Way to be blonde Carter. “Where’s Baylee?”
“Mom and Pop have him for the day.”
“Ahh, so you’re off for a day…and we’re here playin’ cards. You’re a fuckin thrill ride Rok.”
“Sit yo ass down already man.”
“Least I have an ass.” I swear I’m programmed to say it to AJ when he mocks me. Heh. It’s still funny as hell after all these damn years. Smirking at my friends, I hop over on the couch and sit. I ain’t gonna be thinkin’ ‘bout that phone call from the heiress from hell! Fuck her. Why should she be calling? Screeeeeeew her. Yeah, this shit ain’t buggin me or anything. What? Not convinced? Well screw you ADHD brain of mine. And I’m happy with my Cally Baby, album is doing well, we’re gonna be touring soon, why fuck it up with something like this?! Don’t be an idiot Carter, for once.
Ahem.
Yeah I ain’t crazy or anything. I’m yelling at myself in my head. And I wonder why the fellas look at me like I’m psychotic?
And now my head was back to London…it was just, a trip dating her. One phone call can bring it all back to my effed up mind…
The driver sped down the highways at speeds I don’t even do. London just giggled and I pulled her down against the seat. Windows up, you can still see the cameras flashing in the night. Looking like stars bursting hella close. Or they do when you’re drunk and a little weed is in your system. Snickering I rolled down the window as I brought London into my arms, sneaking my head lower, dying for a taste of the fruit down below. You know she never wears underwear right? It was easy access for fuck’s sake! Hehe…for fuck’s sake. I made a funny…
“Niiick I don’t need another sex tape!”
Another chuckle escaped from me. Couldn’t help it. “Why not?” My foot tapped the other switch so her window went down as well. The stalker photographers obsessed with her were frantically trying to capture the moment. My lips continued their way down her skimpy dress that teased me constantly. “We’ll show em how it’s done babe.”
Stop. Now! Fucking A! Remember me denying I’m psychotic? Heh, Bri and AJ are looking at me like I am again now. The balding tattooed man was giving me the biggest “loco mother fucker” look. A huge one. Ewwww wrong sounding. Like he has any room to talk shit about being crazy. Brian was giving me a “Lord please save Nickolas” look again. Uh oh. Aight time to stop thinking in my head with this crazy shit and say something. Or think something better. Like…ooh Cally is dancing in my head! Followed by…M&M’s and Dr. Pepper! YES!
“Nick?”
I blink and cough. Yeah I’m okay. Act natural. “Yeah…”
“Dude, you just zoned out for ten minutes, is that bleach affecting your brain again?”
I raise a brow at Jay. “Hey I ain’t the one who dyed it till it fell out. And I don’t bleach it.”
“Suuuuure just like how you don’t shave your chest hair!”
That’s when Brian started busting up. Oh he just thinks that soooo damn funny. Aight look, MTV does this thing called Diary right? Sure you watched it. Heh well before US MTV went to shit. We did it for MTV UK one time and AJ made this big thing just cause I ain’t some nasty ass grizzly man like he is and how I shave my chest hair. Which I don’t. The no ass man never lets me forget it either. Heh.
“I don’t. So what are we playing, since we’re playing cards like old ass fogies. Well you two are that so I guess we can play…is Go Fish too fast for ya?”
And THAT got an attack from Brian. He lunged and we started wrestling on the floor. Something we ain’t done since I was twenty. The man is evil! Going for my neck like that as we rolled on the plush likely expensive ass carpet. I feel my phone fall out but hell I’ll get it later. Ain’t like I’m gonna be calling London’s spoiled ass self back.
Right?
***********
Long car ride? Almost worth it.
Only almost.
“Allly! Like come on!”
She says that one more time and I promise I’ll hide the body from AJ once I’m done. He’ll never know. Really! Once out of the car we head inside to this swanky place, and thankfully cause none of the guys are with us, they didn’t recognize Leighanne. She’s done dabbling in acting, but not famous except by association with Brian. Which is okay with her, cause she has Baylee. Who is adorable. I wanna baby-sit again hehe. I haven’t since that time with Nick actually.
By the time I stop rambling in my thoughts, I’m lying on the massage table. Oh so you know, if this is what the others say it is… maybe the sex thing is all it’s cracked up to be. Once I’m ready anyway. I think. I know Nick is ready. Boy do I know. But he knows it’s too soon, at least for me. But it’s not easy for me to think about. Cause I think too much. Obviously. So yeah, the whole sex thing… Um…moving on! Anywho, massage? It felt so good. Oh my Lordie did it. Thankfully Izzy grabbed me and pulled me to her car afterwards. I wave to Leighanne, who came over and pulled me into a big hug. I blink, hugging her back with surprise. She just gave me a smile. “You’re the best thing to happen to Nick sweetie, and if you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to call.”
“Um…thanks.”
“I know it’s weird dating someone in this group, I’ve been there so if you need help, just call.”
Smiling I hugged her again. She was like that big older sister I wish mine could be sometimes. “Thanks, that means a bunch.” And it did. See, basic rule I’ve learned, Littrells are awesome all the way.
Iz and I hopped in her car and I immediately dug out her pop mix cd. She started up the car and we sped out of the parking lot and were soon on the highway. “So…what’d you think of it?”
The look she gave me cracked me up, a look of both ‘Are You Kidding Me?” and annoyed frustration all rolled into one. Who knew that was possible. Go Iz! “Girl she’s lucky we weren’t that close to each other. What did she say to you? You look peeved.”
“It’s nothing big Iz, I’m all good.” Soon we just kinda listened to this new Backstreet Boy song of all things, called “Inconsolable”, and it’s a pretty catchy pop tune. I like it. But yeah, we listened and just kinda watched my apartment. Hehe, my apartment, so cool to even say. After the pretty song ended, I gave her a hug and headed indoors. Of course, after another wave at Iz, who I know would love to kill Kaci already. See me? Trying to be more patient. I mean, she is new to dating an FOI-er as I am. Which I can get, it’s just comfuzzling. And some of the things she said really bugged me.
When management said they didn’t want the world knowing we’re dating, I convinced myself it was simply because I wasn’t trying to break in the business or already in it. So that they get can get more media attention off of it. By they I mean Jive Records of course. So…yeah. When she flat out said it was because I wasn’t what Hollywood wanted for the perfect image of Nick Carter, bad rockstar with some Barbie clone at his side, it stung. I know I told Nick lets go along with it when it first came up, that it wouldn’t hurt.
Wasn’t that just smart? Anywho, yeah, the blunt Kaci saying that management thought was too ugly burned. A lot. It can make any girl wonder right? I think so. Wonder about lots of troublesome random thoughts that can make a girl like me all rambly.
Like, is Nick ashamed of me?
No. Remember, he was mad about the idea of hiding me, when it first came up.
What about when, yes I say when, when we’re not hiding our relationship? Don’t forget about how the paparazzi evil people can be. Don’t forget your first interaction with them Cally Rayne! Over at The Grove, and all the snarky-ness that followed.
Is it all worth it? Hunchy vibes are telling me that no matter what Nick’s label wants, it’s going to come out. Only natural and we do live together. And that’s when the craziness will combust. It’s like…I want to and yet I don’t. My own issues are fighting it, and my heart says yes. Because my heart loves Nick, even if I haven’t said the three words yet. I do love him.
So…I guess it is worth it right? Oh Lordie.
I’m just…scared, and unprepared. Is that normal?
Hard to ask since no one I know is like me and dating a rockstar. There’s Leighanne, but she’s more outgoing and just yeah. There’s Howie’s Leigh (who I think he’ll propose to soon), but she’s not as all insecure-y like me. Plus Howie is still iffy on me, pretty sure at least. Kaci…no. Kevin’s Kristin? I don’t know her that well yeah. So I’m on my own.
I head to my room to see if I can decorate it better. Artist eyes and all hehe. Plus all my stuff is in boxes. I pull out the album that exposed my art. That check by the way is in a nice little savings account. Unpacking stinks. And seriously, I need to paint this room. The bland cream colored walls are going to drive me loopy! My Lordie. They need color, pizzazz! Something. My art school brochures were out at least. I’m trying to stay in the country, but I have to admit Italy has some really good choices. I can’t leave Nick though, we just got together. Okay, just…find a school in the country, ignore other options. Oh forget it. Just decorate.
Besides, my head is a mess, and this needs to be all avoided now. You’d think I’d learn when it came to avoidance right? It doesn’t solve anything, and it leaves you all unprepared for what’s to come because you’ve been running from it.
Bad time to forget that.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I know it's been about two months. Shame on me! :( With school and everything it's been harder. But I'm working on it. Enjoy the chappie, and as always tell me what you think, cause I love me some feedback lol. Oh PS - This chappie is short (for me) but it's cause this was a good ending point. Sorry!
