“I know I messed up, but I just hadn’t realized how badly I messed things up.” Brian paced the length of his parents’ hotel room while they watched him from where they sat on the edge of the bed.  “I didn’t know Charlotte had feelings for me—at least, not ones more than friendship.” He looked over at his mother helplessly.  “What am I supposed to do now? How do I make her see that I really am sorry?”

Brian’s mother was no fool.  She’d known that Charlotte had had feelings for her son for a long time, even if the girl didn’t know it herself.  But what she wasn’t at all certain of was whether or not her son had any feelings in him for his best friend.  “Brian, honey.  Do you want to make amends with her because you truly regret all the mistakes you’ve made this week or because you feel sorry for Charlotte because of her feelings for you?”

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly after long moments of silence.  “But then, how am I supposed to know how I feel about her? Alex just dropped this bombshell on me a few hours ago! I haven’t had time to really think about how I feel.  I mean, maybe, when I first met her, I had a…a thing for her, but we’ve been friends for so long that I just don’t know how to feel.”

“How about right now?” His father studied Brian with sharp blue eyes that saw past the surface.  “What do you feel right now about what Alex told you?”

“Shocked.  Flattered.” Brian frowned.  “That doesn’t sound too nice.”

“Maybe not,” his mother agreed, “but you can’t tailor your feelings to suit those of the people you love.”

Brian sighed deeply and turned to gaze out the window at the view of the valley.  “I love Charlotte but as a friend.  I’m perfectly positive of that.  It’s the more that I don’t know about.  If she’s felt this way about me, why didn’t I ever get those vibes before from her? I would’ve known, wouldn’t I, if she’d seen me as more than a friend?”

As his mother, she wanted to tell him that too many times a person could miss what was right in front of his eyes, especially when it was something important.  “Maybe.  Maybe not.  From what I can gather after speaking to her mother, Charlotte didn’t know what she felt for you until she saw you with Theresa.” Wanting to add more, she didn’t.  Brian would have to come to his own conclusions, make his own decisions.

“Oh, man.  No wonder she was so against me being with her.” He tapped his fist against his head.  “Why didn’t I see it?”

“Because you didn’t want to,” his father told him.  “Just like you didn’t want to see that Theresa didn’t want you back the way you wanted her.  Brian, if there’s one thing I think you can improve upon in your dealings with other people, it’s that you so often project your own feelings onto others and expect them to feel the same way you do.  You wanted to see Charlotte as just a friend, so you never expected that she might feel more for you.  With Theresa, you saw her as perfect for you, but you wouldn’t let yourself listen to everyone who told you otherwise because you expected Theresa to feel the same for you.”

“So I’m selfish?” Brian’s voice sounded insulted, and his mother rose to pat his cheek.

“Honey, you’re not selfish.  You just need to think all this through, though, and figure out what you’re going to do from here.” She glanced at her watch.  “Your father and I are meeting Alex and Charlotte’s mothers for dinner soon.  You’re welcome to spend the night here or we can drop you off at your dorm again.  I hope you think everything through long and hard, though.”

Oh, he was going to, he promised himself later as he hurried up the staircase in his dorm.  He was going to think about a lot of things and try to figure out where it was he’d taken a wrong turn.  He wanted Charlotte back in his life, but he was completely unsure of how he wanted her back.

Shutting the door behind him, he plopped into his desk chair and stared around the room at its emptiness.  The walls had been cleared of all of his posters, the closet was empty except for the suit he’d wear for graduation, and his desk held only his laptop and the sheet of paper that was his commencement address.

He snatched up the sheet and skimmed over it quickly before grimacing.  His father had been right.  He needed to make major changes, ones that would reach into the hearts of those he loved.  Pushing open his laptop, he took a deep breath and plunged into the battle in his head, his heart.

***

The glory of the day didn’t strike him the way he’d hoped it would.  When he’d imagined graduating from college, he’d pictured himself full of hope and joy.  His parents and his best friends would be by his side, and, with their support, he’d take those first steps into his promising future.

When the actual day had come, when he stood before his peers, saying the words that had come from his heart, he didn’t feel the joy, and the future didn’t seem so promising.  His eyes skimmed over his parents beaming at him in the audience, at Alex’s thumbs up signal, and, finally, at the way Charlotte didn’t look at him as he spoke.  There was hope in his heart, but only a flicker.

Glancing down at his notes, he took a small breath before smiling at his graduating class as he began his final thoughts—the ones he’d so hurriedly rewritten the night before after a great deal of soul searching and hair pulling.

“If there is one piece of advice that I hope you all will carry with you into your brilliant futures, it’s this: cherish your family and your friends.  Don’t leave them behind in all the hustle and bustle of your promising careers because they are the only ones who will stand by your side and offer their unflagging support whenever you need them.  Heed their advice because they’ll probably be right and because they only want what’s best for you.” His gaze landed on Charlotte again.  Her hands were twisted together, knuckles white, in her lap.  It was, he knew, a sign of her nerves.  “There will be times, too many to count, that you’ll forget to exercise your judgement in that heady rush of needing to plunge into an exciting new enterprise.  Those who love you will guide you back to where you really need to be—but only if you let them.  And maybe, just maybe, if you pay attention to their advice, life will surprise you with a new adventure, one that’s far more than anything you could have ever dreamed of for yourself.  Fellow graduates, we’re moving on into that awe-inspiring real world, and, as much as we think we’re on top of the world at this moment, we can just as easily be brought to our knees if we don’t take care of what’s ours.  I don’t know too much about life yet, but what I’ve just said is one of the few things I’ve come to be absolutely certain of.  So as we step forward into our bright futures, we go with the knowledge we’ve gained and those we love close to us.  There’s not much more we really need.” He paused and grinned at them.  “I’ve been blessed to study side by side with all of you for the past four years, and so I wish you all the best of luck.  We’ve finally made it.”

As he shook hands with President Campbell and his dean, as he listened to the rest of the speeches, as he walked proudly up to receive his diploma, Brian’s mind was set on what was to come after.  He wasn’t certain, not entirely, of the consequences, but he knew he had to try.

***

Getting through the rounds and rounds of well-wishers, seeing his professors for the last time, and doing one last victory dance with his baseball teammates took up more time than he’d expected it to take.  By the time he got away and was headed back to his parents’ hotel room for their final night in Duray, he was exhausted and edgy.  He’d meant to find Charlotte by this point.  He needed to talk to her, but he had no idea how to find her.  Of course, he could always call her, but she probably wouldn’t pick up when she saw it was him.

When his parents got out of the rental car, Brian snagged the keys from his father.  “I’ve gotta go find her,” he said simply, knowing his parents would understand.  They watched him drive off before they sighed a little and let him go.

She had to be at her dorm, Brian mused as he drove.  She would want to spend time with Melanie for a little longer before they parted ways.  He’d gotten a kick out of finding out that Mel and Alex were back together again, and he only hoped that he could convince Charlotte to take him back…as something.

His eyes narrowed when he saw her, her mother, Melanie, and Alex standing at the curb near her loaded car.  Fear and fury clawed through his gut and snatched at his heart.  Leaving, was she? Without seeing him? Did she really think she could leave with everything brewing between them? 

Hell, no.

He’d screeched the car to a stop right behind hers and was already stalking towards her before he remembered himself.  He managed to easily greet her mother and send Alex and Mel the look they knew all too well.

“Uh, Mel and I are going to run back inside and check for anything that we might have left behind,” Alex said, wondering if either Charlotte or Brian heard him.  The way they were staring at each other, he didn’t think they had.  “Let’s go, Mel.”

Mrs. Winthrop looked from her daughter to the young man she’d come to consider a son.  Her heart sighed once before she took a step away.  “I’ll come with you, Alex.”

And then, they were alone.