When they were alone in the light cast from the setting sun, Brian and Charlotte stared at each other, shadows playing over their features, making it hard for either one to judge exactly what the other was thinking—something they’d been good at doing.
“Did you think you could just leave Duray without seeing me?” The words exploded out of him, and he didn’t bother wishing he could’ve started off in a better way.
Charlotte’s eyes narrowed before she turned away to shut her trunk. “There was no real reason to see you. You took care of that all on your own.”
His hand grabbed her arm and turned her to face him again. “You wouldn’t let me apologize. You shoved it back in my face, so what did you want me to do? Damn it, I spent the last day trying to figure out how to fix things.”
He let go of her and scrubbed his hands over his face in a gesture she knew meant he was tired and frustrated. Love for him welled up inside her, but she suppressed it, knowing it had no place to go. “Did you figure anything out?”
Brian stopped and turned to her, his eyes a little sad. “I’m sorry that I broke your heart, that I didn’t know I could break it.”
Her jaw dropped. “How did—who…” She took a deep breath and willed herself not to cry. She wasn’t a sniveler, though, in the last week, she’d wept more than she had in four years. All because of him, she thought hopelessly. “Alex told you.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement.
“Yeah.” Brian shrugged. “I’m glad someone told me because I was in the dark about it. Charlotte.” He reached for her again, but she stepped out of his reach.
“Don’t. Just don’t.” It was her turn to pace now. “I didn’t know that you could break my heart either. I didn’t like it when I found out, and I don’t like it now, either. I didn’t ask to love you like this, Brian. And I didn’t know I did until I realized that I might-”
He didn’t want to press her, but he needed so badly to know. “Might?” he prompted.
She rubbed her bare arms as the air grew chilly with the coming of dusk. “Lose you,” she whispered. “I didn’t know that I needed to have you with me before I knew that I couldn’t handle the idea of losing you.”
“Charlotte.” His hands rested on her shoulders. “I want to tell you that I’m flattered, that I’m stunned that you feel this way about me. You couldn’t lose me, ever, because we’re best friends. Forever, remember?”
Their silly pact before winter break freshman year. Of course, she remembered. “Yeah. Forever.” But not the way she needed. She shrugged his hands off and leaned against her car. Her heart hurt. She knew he didn’t love her, and she didn’t think she could handle standing there with him for too much longer. “What’s the point of this, Brian? We’re not going to get anywhere because you know damn well you don’t have feelings for me, not the ones that I need. Why hash and rehash it all?”
“So we can get somewhere.” Brian didn’t know what to say, where to step. He studied her for long moments as she leaned against her car, her eyes shut as a single tear ran down her cheek. This woman, he thought, was so precious to him, had been for nearly four years. He couldn’t imagine how his life at Duray would have been without her and didn’t want to imagine how it could be in the future without her. She was one of the strongest people he knew, and he’d never seen her cry. That she would, for him, had his belly roiling with guilt. Her short bob of curls fluttered in the breeze, and she shivered once before opening her eyes. Her eyes, the not quite green, not quite blue shade of them, pierced his and went straight through him. In that one moment, he felt all the puzzle pieces he’d been trying to sort out come together. “Here.”
Charlotte didn’t bother refusing to take his suit jacket. Slipping into it, she treasured the feeling of warmth that penetrated her bones and the way it smelled like him. She was tired, too, and just wanted to get this emotional rollercoaster out of the way. She knew how it was going to end, so why bother prolonging the pain? “Thanks.” She swallowed, trying to come up with the best words to end things.
He spoke before she could. “Charlotte, you’ve been such an important part of my life. There’s not a single memory I have of Duray that doesn’t bring me right back to you. You are one of the best friends a person could have, and I’m lucky that I got to have you in my life.”
“Look, Brian,” she began, temper licking at her because she didn’t want to hear him gently let her down. “If I’d wanted your pity, I would’ve started on the waterworks. I may be in love with you, but that doesn’t mean I need you to feel sorry for me because-”
Brian leaned over and cut off her words with his mouth. Instantly, he was sucked in by the sensation, was dazzled by it. What the hell was this? he thought, a bit dazed, even as the first taste of her slipped into his system to run amok in his blood. He was drowning in her, and he couldn’t believe that he’d missed what had been in front of him all along. That silly kiss he’d shared with Theresa was nothing, nothing compared to the impact Charlotte had on him.
Charlotte felt her fingers curl into his shirt as every minute of misery she’d wallowed in vanished with this single meeting of lips. It was nothing like she’d imagined. It was far, far better. And it was a lie.
“No.” Even as she felt his resistance, she shoved him back and away from her. “No.”
He would’ve reached for her but saw the misery in her eyes. “Why?”
“Because it’s not enough. Because, if we act on chemistry, it wouldn’t be enough for me.” She shut her eyes briefly before she turned to face him. “I can’t be just a random fling for you, Brian. I’d starve wanting more, and you’d end up hating me for needing more than you’re willing to give. It’s better all around to just stop it all right here before it goes any further.”
Brian gently took her hands in his. Her eyes were wary as they met his. “Charlotte, what I feel for you isn’t just friendship, it’s not at all pity, and it’s nowhere near as casual as you think it is.” He rested his forehead against hers. “It was your eyes.”
“Huh?” He was talking in riddles, she thought, when her heart was in his hands. “What are you talking about?”
He smiled. “When we first met, when you first looked at me across the seminar table in freshman English, your eyes caught me by the throat, and I couldn’t breathe.”
“Get out.”
“No, really.” His hand combed through her curls as her head rested in the curve of his neck. “They’re the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. In that moment, it felt like you could see right into me, into my heart, and I fell face-first in love with you.”
She jerked back now and stared at him. “You did not. You never said anything.”
“Because, before I could screw up the nerve to ask you out, you were helping me out with my first journalism paper, and we were friends. I thought that’s all you wanted, so I buried all those crazy feelings I had for you and told myself we were better off as friends.” He tugged her towards him and kissed her lightly. “We’re not better off as friends. Thursday night, I figured out that I’d been wrong and needed you back in my life, desperately.”
Charlotte frowned. “You didn’t know about Theresa yet.”
“No, I didn’t, but I knew about you. I remembered that, through thick or thin, you’d always stuck by me, no matter what. I knew I couldn’t lose you, but, when I tried to apologize, you bit my head off.” He cupped her face in his hands. “I really am sorry that I hurt you.”
She shook her head, overwhelmed by everything he’d told her and everything she could see in his eyes. “It’s okay.” She paused. “You’re not going to tell me that you still love me the way you did freshman year.”
“No, I’m not.” Brian saw the hurt darken her eyes, and his fingers tightened on hers. “Your eyes got me again today. I didn’t know what I was going to say to you when I got here. I thought I’d try to mend our friendship and beg your forgiveness. You didn’t buy any of it, and you cried. I made you cry right now, and I feel so guilty because I’ve never seen you cry before.”
“Brian, it’s done. I told you, you’re forgiven.”
He shook her a bit, making her mouth drop open in shock. “Let me finish, will you?”
“Fine.”
Brian suppressed the grin that wanted to break out on his face. “There you were, leaning against your car with your eyes closed because you just didn’t want to hear what I wanted to say. But I didn’t know what it was that I wanted to say until you opened your eyes.” His fingers traced her cheekbones softly. “They got me again and made me realize one thing.”
She couldn’t quite control the shiver his touch caused. “What’s that?”
“What I felt for you in the beginning was nothing, nothing at all compared to what I feel for you now.” He smiled softly. “I’m in love with you, Charlotte. All the way in love, and, before you say anything, I know my heart very well. It’s in your hands, baby. It has been all these years, and I just didn’t know it.”
Charlotte couldn’t speak, didn’t know what to say when given everything she’d despaired of for days. “Brian.” But her eyes, the ones he’d fallen in love with, told him everything he needed to know. “I love you, too.”
When he caught her close, his lips pressed to hers in a kiss that tasted of their joy, she could see that future he’d spoken of at commencement, and it was brilliant.
“Brian.” She murmured it against his lips.
“Hmm?” God, he didn’t think he could bear to let go of her for even a second.
“If you ever want out of this relationship, I’m going to kill you.”
Bursting into laughter, he pulled her close to him and felt their hearts beat together. Their future, he thought, was definitely going to be bright.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hey guys! Sorry it took so long for me to tack on the ending of this story, but here it FINALLY is! Thanks for sticking to it and enjoying it!
