Brian stared at the computer screen, reading and re-reading what he’d written. Unsatisfied, he highlighted and deleted the last three sentences he’d typed. Then, running his hands over his face wearily, he tried to think of a better way of phrasing things. He was a journalist, he thought, frustrated. Words were his business, and knowing how to eloquently use words was his forte. And yet…

And yet nothing was coming out the way he needed it to for his valedictorian address at commencement. Which was in less than forty-eight hours. But he wasn’t going to panic, Brian told himself firmly.

He had a total of two paragraphs written that he was proud of, but all they detailed was his first, uncertain days at Duray. He wanted to say more, so much more about finding where he fit with Alex and…and Charlotte, he thought. He couldn’t. Though his anger at her had evaporated in the last few days, he was still unwilling to take back what he’d done in, he admitted to himself, haste and anger.

There was no going back now.

Shoving aside his regrets, he focused on the screen again. He wanted to talk about the intervening years between those first days and now. Closing his eyes, he walked back into the past.

There he was, slaving over his writing in the beginner’s writing seminar for the journalism major. Invariably, that class had helped him hone his rough writing skills, but not before it had taken a lot of his sleep, his energy, and, what felt like, his blood, tears, and sweat. Charlotte had helped him out. She, too, had taken the class, but only because she’d wanted to write. Somehow, she’d had an easier time in the class, and she’d helped him edit his papers until they were perfect.

He opened his eyes, scowling. He had to stop thinking about her. They weren’t friends anymore, and he hadn’t seen her in four days. It was the longest he’d ever gone without seeing her whenever they were at school, but he threw out that errant thought and told himself to focus.

After he’d finished writing about the class, minus the Charlotte part, he leaned back in his chair and took another trip down memory lane. Sophomore year, he’d had a wild hair and decided to take organic chemistry. It had been a bad idea all around, and Alex and Charlotte had tried to talk him out of it. His pride in question, he told them he’d pass the class with flying colors. With raised eyebrows, they’d watched him struggle through the class, burning vats of midnight oil that semester.

Of course, he’d just barely scraped by with his first D ever in a subject, but the experience had taught him a lesson. There were times when you should listen to those who know better, otherwise, you had to learn to take a failure good-naturedly. He had. Sort of.

Grinning at the memory of how excited he’d been at the D, he typed some more before thinking about the past again. Within moments, he realized that he couldn’t keep delving back into the past four years successfully. At every turn on memory lane, he ran into Charlotte. Not that he didn’t expect it, he reminded himself. After all, she’d been one of his closest friends, the one he’d run to whenever he had a problem. It was her number that most often stayed at number one on his dialed calls list in his cell phone.

Except for this week.

Resting his head in his hands, he wondered what he was supposed to do now. He needed help on this last, vital piece of work that he’d do at Duray, and he’d pushed away the one person he relied on to help him.

With a sigh, he picked up his cell phone and called. When Alex answered on the other end, he could hear laughter, music, and plenty of voices. "Alex? Hey, it’s me. Where are you?"

If Alex was surprised to hear from Brian, he didn’t say. "I’m hanging out with Mel and Charlotte." He paused. "What’s up, Brian?"

"Nothing. What are you guys doing?" The question slipped out before he could stop himself. Part of him wished he were there, in spite of everything, and not alone.

"Charlotte wanted something different," Alex replied after a moment’s hesitation. "So we decided to give her that something different. It’s…interesting. And fun."

Brian sighed inwardly and wondered for the thousandth time in the past three days, why he’d broken up his closest circle of friends. Then, the image of Theresa fluttered in his mind, and his resolve strengthened. "Well, maybe, when you’re done whatever you’re doing, you could drop by and help me out." His voice sounded cold and disapproving to his ears, but he couldn’t stop. "I’m having trouble with my speech."

"Oh." Alex paused. "Well, you know, public speaking isn’t exactly a strong point for me, Brian."

Brian narrowed his eyes, trying not to let the frustration show in his voice. "Can you just come over for a little while then? I think, at this point, anything can help."

"Why don’t you ask Theresa?"

There was a short silence, and Brian could hear his ragged breathing. Why, he asked himself, was he getting so worked up? "Alex, I need your help. Please."

The plea in his voice broke Alex. "Okay. I’ll be by in an hour, maybe an hour and a half." There was a murmur of voices before Alex spoke again. "I gotta go, Bri. I’ll see you soon."

"Yeah." Brian snapped his phone shut and stared at it. Was it just him, or had Alex chosen Charlotte over him?

***

She stared at her reflection in the mirror. Shocked, stunned, she was speechless. Lifting her good hand, she ran it over her hair and gulped when her fingers closed over air.

"Oh, man. What did I do?"

Alex patted her shoulder reassuringly. "It looks great. I didn’t know you could look so…hot with short hair. You should’ve done this a long time ago."

"Why, so you could hit on her?" Melanie frowned at him before she knelt in front of Charlotte. "He’s right, though, you look fabulous. You’ll be swatting away guys the second you walk out that door."

Charlotte shut her eyes. "I don’t want to swat away guys. I don’t even want them to look at me like this."

Alex leaned against the dresser and studied her new look. Her glossy dark curls had been cut, so they now settled to chin-length. The style made her look younger, but, as he’d said, prettier. Her features had been refined, so her face now had the effect of looking almost fairy-ish. When she opened her eyes, he decided that the new hair made her eyes look bigger, even if the expression in them was uncertain and wary.

"Well, look at it this way," Melanie tried again. "You’ll save a lot of money on shampoo and conditioner, since you won’t need as much."

Charlotte sighed. They were trying to make her feel better about making such a big decision. She’d had that long hair for four years, and she wouldn’t have cut it if she hadn’t been feeling so depressed and in need of a change. "Okay," she said finally. "You have a point. And thanks for calling me hot, Alex. A girl can never have too many compliments."

Melanie grinned at the phrase she always used. "You’re absolutely right. Tomorrow, at the garden party, you’re going to knock the Duray boys off their feet."

Alex’s brows lowered darkly. "I don’t think so. They get within five feet of her, I’ll have to punch someone."

"Aww." Melanie patted his cheek before leaning up to touch her lips to his. "That’s so sweet."

His arm slid around her waist, and he pulled her closer. "Try again."

When they pulled apart, they found Charlotte staring at them with speculation gleaming in her eyes. "So, how long has this been going on?"

For the first time in four years, Charlotte found Melanie at a loss for words. "Well, ah, hmm…" She looked to Alex helplessly, and he grinned at Charlotte.

"A week and a half. About." He kissed Melanie’s forehead. "We decided to try again. I guess we just sort of missed each other and wanted more. What’s wrong with wanting more?"

Charlotte returned his smile. "Nothing. As long as you two are happy, I’m happy."

"We’re moving in together when we get to Denver," Melanie told her and had Charlotte’s mouth dropping open in shock.

"Isn’t that moving a little fast?"

"Nope." Melanie grinned. "We dated for over a year before we broke up, and, now that we’re back together, we know what we want. What would be too soon would be if I told Alex that, in two years, he’s going to marry me."

Charlotte and Melanie both had the pleasure of watching Alex’s jaw drop and his expression turn scared. "Look, Mel, I love you, but marriage?" His voice was tinged with anxiety. "We’re too young for that sort of thing. Right, Char?" When she just gave him that knowing smile, he turned to Melanie. "Mel, baby, we’ve got plenty of time. Our whole lives. Let’s not worry about weddings or anything right now."

Charlotte settled herself on her bed and listened to her friends argue over the status of their impending marital bliss. What, she wondered, would it be like to find the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? Her mind turned to Brian, and she sighed. She did know what it felt like, but she also knew what it felt like to lose that person.

***

Brian stared at his phone in dismay. She’d cancelled on him. Theresa had called to call off their date. It would have been their last time to be alone together before the festivities of the next few days, the last time he would’ve had to really find out what was in her heart for him. If there was anything for him.

That was it. A quick two minute conversation, and he suddenly had the sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach that signaled something was wrong, terribly wrong. A little voice in the back of his head whispered that maybe, just maybe Charlotte had been right about Theresa.

Oh, not completely right, he thought with a shake of his head. Theresa wasn’t heartless, and she probably didn’t mean to make him feel as awful as he felt. She had never said anything about their relationship. In fact, he thought with a sick feeling, she hadn’t called him more than a friend. Ever.

Had it all been in his head? Had he been so stubborn that he’d only seen what he’d wanted to see and hadn’t even allowed the idea that she might not want him back to enter his head?

"Oh, man." Brian rose to pace his room restlessly. Was it really possible that he’d kicked Charlotte out of his life for nothing?

He saw his best friends in his mind’s eye. Alex, dependable Alex who had always been there to lend a helping hand or tell a good joke. And Charlotte. Brian stopped in mid-step as all the different memories he had of her filled his mind.

Charlotte helping him with his writing, always there to edit his papers. Knowing he could pick up the phone at three in the morning and call her to talk. No matter how tired she was, she’d always make time to listen to him.

There were other images of her, teasing him, the way they’d crack each other up for no reason in the most boring of classes they’d sometimes taken together. Or how she would rap along with the most nonsensical of hip-hop music and make him laugh at the way she’d bump and grind along to it. She’d taught him how to play the electric guitar and had covered her ears, laughing, whenever he made the instrument squeal painfully.

Always Charlotte. Every memory of his college years was somehow linked to Charlotte. And he’d tossed her out in favor of Theresa. True, Theresa could make him laugh, but she’d never teased him. She was certainly too dignified to dance like crazy in her room. She was reserved, careful about letting her true feelings surface, whereas Charlotte’s emotions bubbled on the surface.

"Shit." He sank onto his bed, covering his face with his hands. What had he done?

No. He straightened after several moments and squared his shoulders. Maybe he was still wrong. Maybe he was unnecessarily thinking that Theresa didn’t want him. She might not have said anything about their relationship, but she also hadn’t said anything that made him think she didn’t want him. Tomorrow, he’d find out exactly how she felt about him, and then…

And then he’d go beg Charlotte’s forgiveness. It wouldn’t matter, he wouldn’t let it matter, what she thought of Theresa if he ended up with her. He only knew one thing.

He needed Charlotte in his life.