I’m not exactly sure how I got stuck in this situation. It seemed like such a good idea at the time. I thought it was cool of them to randomly invite me along for a fun day of fishing on a boat they had rented for the day. I’m always left behind in situations like this so when Kevin bypassed his own cousin and came over to me, I about jumped out of my pants with excitement!
So it was going to be me, Kevin and Howie D, all day on a boat. No dance moves, no lecturing, no interviews. Just the big boys, you know the ones that are too cool to hang out with kids like AJ and Brian.
I should have suspected something when I saw the huge grin on Brian’s face when I told him about his cousin. I also ignored the knowing glance he gave to AJ, followed by the high five as I started to walk away.
I’m an idiot…which brings me to my predicament…
“Guys please let me out of the water.” I begged for about the tenth time in the last hour.
They both sat on the edge of the boat laughing at me. At least I wasn’t being ignored anymore. That was a plus.
“And why is that?” Howie asked. He was getting me so mad. I am going to beat the crap out of him when I get out of here!
“Because I’m starting to get really cold!” Actually that was a lie. The water was warm as could be but I was running out of excuses.
“Oh like the time when I was sound asleep in my bed and you decided it would be hilarious to dump some ice on top of me? I remember I was cold back then and all I can recall is you laughing at me.” Damn it!!
“I’m sorry about that Howie. Didn’t I already say I was sorry?”
“Yes you did, after I made you!” Stupid Kevin needs to stay out of this!
“That shouldn’t matter…come on guys…please!!” I tried my best to sound like I was about to cry. Really I was okay, just a little angry about being thrown into the ocean mere seconds after the boat anchored in its spot.
“What do you think Howie? Should we let him out of the water?” Kevin asked this as he sat with his legs dangling off the side of the boat. He had a huge smile on his face. Why is everyone so mean to me?
“I’m not sure…Hrmm…”
“Why are you doing this to me?” I thought it was a fair question, considering how excited I was that they wanted me to hang out with them only to find out it was purely so they could torture me.
“We needed someone to test the waters for us, you know just in case there were sharks out there. We needed some kind of bait.” They both started laughing hysterically as they high fived. They suck!
“And what if there IS a shark out here?” I asked, because well… yeah.
“Then we’ll know to stay out of the water.” Howie answered with a shrug.
“Seriously guys, I think I saw a fin before!” I was getting paranoid. I mean, they wouldn’t actually let me be eaten by a shark would they? Ugh okay brain don’t answer my question just keep thinking about boobies.
“Nick do you think we’d really throw you into shark infested waters?” Kevin raised his eyebrow at me. How did I know this? Because now he was leaning over the railing. If I could only have the power to jump out of the water and take him down I SO would!
“I don’t know… I was really stupid to think you wanted to spend time with me. I should have known better.”
Kevin looked over at Howie and then they both looked down at me. A few seconds later the ladder was lowered, “Okay kiddo, I think you’ve had enough…come on up and we’ll do some fishing.”
I sighed as I made my way up the ladder, trying my best to plot my revenge. Possibly Nair in the shampoo bottle again because we know that one never gets old. Maybe something a little more sinister, like calling Kristin and telling her I saw Kevin kissing a guy behind a gay bar? Now that would really be testing the waters, wouldn’t it?
“We’re sorry about that Nicky; you know we did want you to come with us. Just that tossing you overboard was something that neither of us could resist.” Howie said as he handed me a huge towel.
“You did want me to come? So you didn’t lure me out here just to do that to me then?”
“No, that was just an added bonus.” Kevin said handing me a beer. Wow Kevin just handed me a beer.
“Kevin, do you realize you just handed me a beer?” Why the hell did I just say that?
“I won’t tell if you won’t tell!” He said winking at me.
Wow, what the hell is happening here? Kevin is giving me a beer by his own free will. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’ve drank in front of him plenty of times but he’s never ever condoned it before. We’re making progress Kevin and I. He would never give AJ a beer! I can’t wait to tell Brian and AJ all about this!
I opened the can only to be met with one of those huge springy snakes popping out of the top followed by more laughter and another set of high fives between Kevin and Howie. “Oh my God, this is going to be the best day ever!” Kevin managed to wheeze out.
“You guys suck ass!” I said, doing my best to hide my smile.
I was with my big brothers and to me that’s all that mattered. I’m glad I brought the itching powder though!
