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Author's Chapter Notes:
Yay for a new chapter! I think we're going to try to get you a chapter a week because we're pretty excited about this story and already have the next chapter hammered out as well. Thanks for being such awesome readers! We sincerely hope you enjoy this next one ;)
He didn’t sleep that night.  Instead, he lay in bed, staring up at the bus ceiling and letting his mind run rampant with so many confusing thoughts.  He heard Mac go to bed soon after he’d left her, and he still couldn’t get rid of that sudden desire he had to pull her into his arms and kiss her until they were both breathless.

It was a dangerous idea, he told himself.  She was his son’s nanny, and it just wouldn’t be right.  Besides, he hadn’t known her long, and her type was someone like AJ. Hadn’t she said so herself? He could never compare with AJ’s confidence with women, and, thus, he’d never stand a chance with Mac.  She would probably laugh at him if he tried to kiss her.

Brian punched his pillow, frustrated, and rolled over to find a more comfortable position…for the thousandth time that night.  Maybe, he realized after a while, he couldn’t let his mind rest because he was avoiding the truth…  

Though he could make up excuse after excuse in his head as to why he shouldn’t want to kiss Mac, the real reason he was so freaked out was because of the guilt he felt.  For ten years, he’d had Leighanne by his side, and he’d never once thought of being with another woman because Leighanne had meant the world to him.  He’d never needed or wanted anyone else.  Of course, he was a man, so it wasn’t as though he’d never thought other women were attractive.  But, nevertheless, the thought of doing anything with a woman not Leighanne had never crossed his mind.  When she’d died, he’d felt as though a part of him had died with her, and he’d doubted that he’d ever be whole again.  

Certainly, he’d never expected to feel attraction for another woman again.

Now, there was Mac.

His worrisome thoughts plagued him as the moon set, the stars faded, and the first streaks of sunlight heralded dawn.  Instead of feeling fuzzy with fatigue, he couldn’t find any comfort in knowing that, a mere ten feet away, lay the woman who’d broken through the walls he’d put up around himself.  He had to admit that being around Mac had brought the first real feelings he’d had in the year since Leighanne’s murder.  The guys had told him that he looked like, walked like, and sounded like a zombie, but he’d also seen their surprised looks when he’d bounced off the stage the night before after nailing his performance on the head.

If the cause of his recovery was Mac, he wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about it.  In fact, he didn’t want to feel anything about it, he decided, because that meant he was emotionally cheating on Leighanne.  Maybe these feelings he had for Mac would just go away if he just stayed away from her for a few days.

Mind made up, he rolled over again and tried to sleep.

Three hours later, he was still wide awake and heard Baylee bounce out of bed, chattering happily with Mac.  The low tone of her voice caused butterflies to erupt in Brian’s belly, but he fought to remember that he was supposed to stay away from her.

He could hear them eating breakfast, the clinking of spoons against bowls as Baylee announced that Fruit Loops was “the bestest cereal in the whole wide world” to which Mac stated that it would rot his teeth and make them fall out because the Loops were all sugar.  Brian smiled when he heard Baylee’s shocked gasp and his following announcement: “I’m gonna keep my teef, Mac, so gimme something better!”

Twenty minutes later, the little curtain separating Brian’s bunk from the rest of the bus was tossed open, and Baylee stood, hands on hips, and frowned.  “Daddy, it is way past rise and shine time.  Mac says the kitchen’s closing in five minutes, so you gotta eat breakfast soon.  Otherwise, you’ll starve.”

Brian propped himself up on one elbow, careful not to let his gaze stray to where Mac still sat at the tiny table.  “Thanks for the wake up call, buddy, but I think I’m gonna stay in bed today.”

Baylee cocked his head to the side, his expression quizzical.  “How come, Daddy? Are you sick?”

“Uh, yeah. A little.  Do you mind spending the day with just Mac?” he asked his son, reaching out a hand to ruffle Baylee’s hair.

“Aww, but I thought we could play more Trouble,” Baylee replied, his voice dangerously close to whining.  “You’re not too sick to play Trouble, are you?”

Brian bit his lip and tried not to feel bad about disappointing his son.  “I guess I could play one game, if you really want.”

Instantly, the frown on Baylee’s face vanished.  “Yay! We can play it right here, so you don’t hafta get out of bed.  I’ll go get the game and then you, me, and Mac can play again!”

Mac? On his bed? Brian tried to think up an excuse.  He knew his face had paled at the mention of Mac, so he figured he looked sick enough.  “Um, Bay, maybe that’s not such a good idea,” he began, pressing a hand over his mouth.  “I think I might be sick.”

Scrambling out of bed, he rushed into the bathroom and hoped that his faking looked fairly legitimate to get him out of having to do anything with Mac.

When the bathroom door shut, Mac looked from the door to Baylee’s fallen expression and sighed.  “Well, Baylee, I guess it’s just you and me, kiddo.”

Baylee grumbled a little, but he didn’t put up too much of a fight.  As she helped set him up with his reading assignment for the day, Mac couldn’t help but glance over her shoulder to where Brian had holed up in the bathroom.  She hoped he wasn’t too sick, but illness definitely explained his bizarre behavior the night before.  It had been rather strange when, after hours of being hyper and exuberant, he’d all of a sudden gotten quiet and escaped to his bunk.

She heard the toilet flush and the water run before the door opened and a still pale-faced Brian bolted back to his bunk, snapping the curtains shut.  Poor thing, she thought before she turned her attention back on her charge.

***

When they stopped for lunch a few hours from Billings, Montana—the next stop on the tour—Brian didn’t leave his bed.  Mac offered to bring him soup or something to eat, but he waved it off and pulled the covers over his head.  He knew he’d been rude, but he hoped that she’d forgive him for it.  After all, he was trying to get over her so that she wouldn’t suffer too much embarrassment and awkwardness in case he made the horrible mistake of kissing her and having her not feel the same.  It was like doing her a favor, really.

It sucked to be a martyr.

It also didn’t help that, when he’d finally fallen asleep while everyone was out to lunch, he’d dreamed of Mac.  It was such a vivid dream that, when AJ shook him awake, he clutched his pillow tighter, burrowing his face into it, and murmured, “Mmm, baby. Come here.”

“Oh, gross!” AJ wrinkled his nose and fought to not laugh when Brian jerked awake and blinked, dazed, into his face.

“Huh? What? Where…?” When he looked down at his arms, instead of finding Mac, he found his pillow.  Stifling his disappointment, he turned his attention back to AJ who was shaking with suppressed laughter.  “Ugh, AJ. What do you want? What are you doing here? Are we in Billings yet?”

AJ rocked back on his heels as he studied Brian’s face.  “No, everyone’s cleaning up and getting back on the buses.  I thought I’d come check on you, since, you know, Mac said you weren’t feeling too great. Although,” he wiggled his brows, “I don’t think horniness is an illness, Brian. And, trust me, I’d know.”

Brian muffled a groan as his hands covered his face.  “That’s so disgusting, AJ.  I don’t want to think about you and…and…eww.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t exactly want to hear your erotic dream either, so consider it payback.”

“Erotic dream?!” He sat up and glared at AJ.  “It was not an erotic dream! In fact, I don’t even remember what I dreamed about.” Which was a glaring lie because he’d definitely dreamed of being on a beach with a bikini-clad Mac.  Thinking about it made his ears turn red—something that didn’t go unnoticed.

AJ burst into laughter.  “Oh my god! You so did! Was it about Leighanne? ‘Cause that’s really cute and sad all at the same time.”

“No!” Brian snapped. “It wasn’t about Leighanne.” And then he froze.  “Uhh, but it wasn’t a sex dream,” he added in a tiny voice.

“Uh-huh. Suuuure.” AJ shrugged.  “Hey, I don’t think Leighanne would hold it against ya if you found another woman attractive and wanted to bang her or something.”

“AJ!” Brian hissed.  “Shut up. I am not having this conversation with you, so just drop it.”

AJ’s brows lifted.  “Okay, alright.  So, I guess you won’t tell me who you’re dreaming about, huh?”

“No,” Brian muttered, irritated.  “Go away.”

“Man, if that’s the thanks I get for being concerned about my friend’s health…” AJ grumbled.

Brian began to feel guilty.  “Sorry. I don’t really feel so great. I didn’t sleep all night, and you woke me up out of the first real sleep I got, so…I guess I’m just cranky,” he offered as an explanation.

AJ studied him for a moment before nodding.  “Okay. Sorry about waking you up. We’ll be in a hotel soon, so you’ll be able to sleep better then.” He glanced over his shoulder when he heard Mac and Baylee’s voices.  “Ahh, the return of the beautiful nanny and her adorable charge.”

The instant AJ’s words registered in Brian’s head, he laid back down, pulled the curtain shut, and muttered, “Tell them I’m sleeping, okay? I’ll talk to you later.”

Though AJ was taken aback at Brian’s actions, he figured the lack of sleep was probably getting to Brian.  Agreeing to the plan, he passed along the message to Mac and Baylee before heading back to his own bus.  Something was definitely up with Brian, AJ thought, and he was going to figure it out before too long.

Brian listened to AJ feed his busmates the lie before he burrowed deeper under the covers and tried to fall asleep again.  AJ’s words about Leighanne had strengthened his decision to stay away from Mac, and he figured that hiding out, though cowardly, would help him accomplish that.

***

Three days passed, and, for Mac, they seemed like an eternity.  What had seemed like the beginning of a great friendship between her and Brian seemed to crash to a halt, and she couldn’t figure out where she’d gone wrong.  Of course, she knew it couldn’t all be her fault, but she was truly unable to come up with any reason why Brian would just drop her in a finger’s snap of time.  

It was just so difficult for her to grasp why he was so moody and distant from her.  After all, he was the one who’d gotten her a front row seat to their show, he had been the one who’d been super excited about their friendship and had shown off at their Denver show for her.  And, now, suddenly, he pretended like she was nothing more than his son’s nanny?

Well, Mac argued with herself, she technically was just his son’s nanny. But still…He treated her as though she were invisible, and that, no matter how she denied it to herself, was what hurt the most.

The whole thing bothered her so much, in fact, that she couldn’t concentrate on her investigation.  She should’ve been focusing her efforts on tracking Jeff Saunders and catching him in the act of being the Avenging Angel.  But the depression that settled over her because of Brian’s distance broke her concentration.  Not even the reported sightings of the Avenging Angel in both Billings and Bismarck, North Dakota could inspire her enough to take action.

“You sound blue, Mac,” Jake commented during one of their regular phone calls.  “What’s wrong?”

Mac sighed. Obviously, she wasn’t good at hiding her gloom from him.  “Nothing.  It’s just stupid.”

“Still having trouble with your prime suspect?”

“No, it’s not him,” she mumbled as she stared out at the desolate South Dakota landscape.  It didn’t help her mood that there were fat raindrops pounding against the bus windows.  “Like I said, it’s stupid.”

Jake was quiet for a moment. Then, “Come on, Mac. What’s wrong? Did you fight with your employers or something? I bet they couldn’t hold up against that awesome Adams temper, though.”

“God, Jake, I didn’t fight with anyone, okay?” she snapped, her voice rising enough that Brian, despite his self-imposed Mac-exile, glanced over at her.  She turned beet red and lowered her voice.  “It’s not a big deal, okay? It’s just that-” She bit her lip, wondering how she could tell Jake what she was feeling when she didn’t even know why it was bothering her so much that Brian wasn’t talking to her.

“What?”

“Brian’s not talking to me anymore,” she muttered, one eye on the man in question to make sure he wasn’t paying attention.  Sure enough, he wasn’t.  His eyes were glued to the action flick playing.

Jake hesitated. “Uh, okay.  So? Did you two fight or what?”

“No. I don’t know.  One minute he’s all friendly with me and getting me front row seats for a concert, then the next instant, he’s all grouchy with me.  He’s nice to everyone else, but he’s Mr. Scrooge when it comes to me.” She pouted a little.  “I didn’t even do anything.”

“Well—and don’t kill me for saying this but…” Jake trailed off, clearly wondering if he should say what he thought.

Mac frowned.  “What?”

“Maybe he likes you, Mac.”

“Huh?” Her mouth fell open for a second. Then, she shook her head.  “Well, we were friends, so that’s a possibility but it doesn’t explain-”

“No, Mac.” Jake’s voice was patient. And cautious.  He hadn’t been joking about Mac’s temper.  “I meant, maybe he likes you in a more than friends way.  Sometimes, guys push women away when all they want is for them to be close, like in a romantic way. God,” he muttered, “I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with you.”

Mac’s jaw was hanging, practically dragging along the floor.  “You’re joking, right? Because that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.  There is nothing like that going on, and, besides, he’s too blond for me.”

Jake chuckled.  “Well, you think what you want, but I was just giving my opinion.  Anyway, I’d better get going before Riley marches in and demands to know why I haven’t turned in my preliminary reports yet.  Keep me posted on, uh, everything, okay?”

“I still think you’re wrong.” She scowled when he chuckled again. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll keep you updated.  Bye.”

She didn’t bother to dwell on Jake’s theory about Brian’s behavior because it was just so bizarre that it couldn’t be true.  For goodness’ sake, she thought, the love of his life had been tragically murdered the year before, and it was highly doubtful that he was ready to move on.  When her mind murmured that maybe she was deluding herself, she shut it down and focused on teaching Baylee about gravity and magnets as per his science lesson for the day.

The following day, though, nothing was much better with the Brian situation, and she was nearing her wits’ end.  At lunch, she left Baylee with his jerk of a father and tracked AJ and Nick down.  She found them arguing over which Dakota was more boring, North or South, and rolled her eyes.

She plopped herself down next to Nick and stole some of his French fries.  “Hey, guys. Nick, aren’t you supposed to be on a diet?”

He wrinkled his nose and held his arms over his fries to keep her from getting to them.  “So what?  And you can’t have anymore.” He glanced over his shoulder to where Brian and Baylee were giggling over something.  “So, why aren’t you with B-squared today?”

“ ‘B-squared’?” she asked with a giggle and snuck away another fry.

“Yeah, you know, Brian and Baylee? B-squared.” He shrugged.  “Anyway, what brings you to our neck of the, um, Burger King?”

Mac propped her head on her hands and sighed.  “There’s something wrong with Brian, and he won’t talk to me.”

“Really?” AJ looked over at their bandmate.  “Funny, I haven’t noticed anything.  He’s actually been pretty awesome lately.  Well, other than tripping over himself again at the concert in Billings, but yeah.”

“Well, he’s been all sunshine and bunnies with all of you, but he acts like I’m the bane of his existence all of a sudden.  I mean, one second we’re laughing over Baylee’s possessiveness of me, and, the next, he acts like I have the plague.  He hasn’t talked to me all week.” She scowled.  “We were making such progress with being friends, too.”

Nick looped an arm around her shoulders. “I’ll still be your friend, Mac.”

“Aww, thanks, Nicky,” she said sweetly, grinning when he scowled at the nickname.  “Seriously, though, it’s getting too awkward to be in that bus with him all day when he pretends like I don’t exist.  He won’t even talk to me about what’s wrong.”

“Well, he was kind of strange that day when he was sick,” AJ thought aloud.  “But I just figured that was because he hadn’t slept the night before and, uh, had an embarrassing dream before I woke him up.”

Nick perked up.  “Oh yeah? Was he having sex with Pam Anderson? You know, before Leighanne came along, Pam was Brian’s number one wet dream,” he informed Mac.

She swatted his arm.  “You’re so sick.  I don’t want to know about that! He’s my boss, for Pete’s sake.”

AJ looked thoughtful.  “Well, he didn’t exactly deny the erotic dream part.  I wonder if he’s got a crush on someone.”

“Really?” Mac straightened from her slouch. “That’s so cute. I wonder who it is.  I mean, I never expected that he’d ever get over Leighanne.”

“Yeah, me neither,” AJ replied.  “Then again, he’s not exactly old, and there’re plenty of attractive women working with us on the tour.” His eyes roamed their band and crew spread out around the restaurant.  “Maybe it’s one of them.”

Mac turned and joined him in perusing the females.  “What about Geneen? She’s pretty, and she’s around you guys all the time.”

“Married,” Nick said.

“Oh.”

“Well, it could be Erica,” AJ suggested, as he eyed one of the technical assistants.  “She’s pretty, petite, and blonde.  Brian’s three requirements in women,” he added when Mac looked confused.

“Gotcha.” She tried to remember what she knew about Erica.  “No, it can’t be her,” she said after a few moments.  “She’s going out with Dan.”

Nick’s brows lifted. “Dan? Like Dan in our band, Dan?”

“Yep.”

“Wow.  AJ, our tour brings people together,” Nick said in a sickly sweet tone.  “How adorable.  Maybe it’ll bring you and me together, Mac,” he added, kissing her hand lavishly.  “Say you’ll be mine.”

Her eyes twinkled behind her glasses.  “You know you’ll always have my heart, Nick.” When she turned to AJ, he was studying her curiously.  “What? Is there ketchup on my face?”

He shook his head.  “No, no.  It’s just…you said Brian isn’t speaking to you, and he was having a dream about someone who’s not Leighanne. Right?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Well, what if he’s attracted to you?”

Her jaw dropped as she was shocked speechless.  Recovering quickly, she glared at him.  “What is wrong with you men? Seriously.  Just because a guy is mad at a girl doesn’t mean he likes her. We’re not in middle school anymore, you know.”

“You gotta admit, Mac, it makes sense,” Nick said quietly. “I mean, the two of you were flirting a lot at that concert in Denver.”

Her face turned bright red. “We were not! It was all in good fun.”

“Uh huh, sure.” Nick winked.  “I get it. You don’t have to worry about breaking my heart.  If you want Brian, go for it.  You’d be good for him.”

“Shut up, Nick,” she hissed, irritated now.

AJ folded his arms over his chest and leaned back to watch her.  “What’s so wrong with being attracted to Brian?”

“Nothing,” she muttered, “but I’m not attracted to him! Seriously.”

“Well, why not? He’s not half bad-looking, he’s got that Southern accent that makes women go gaga over him, and he’s more of a gentleman than the rest of us,” AJ pointed out.  “He’d be perfect for you.  And it would totally explain why he’s uncomfortable with you all of a sudden.  He probably realized that he likes you.”

Nick jumped in before Mac could retort.  “You know, if you don’t like him back, he’ll be pretty broken up over it.  You’re the first woman he’s had a thing for since Leighanne. It’s probably a big deal for him because he was with her for ten years, and he probably doesn’t know what to do with how he feels for you.”

Mac wondered how, with as angry as she was getting over their stupid theories, there wasn’t any steam pouring out of her ears. “Listen, you Neanderthals.  Brian may be nice and mildly attractive, but I don’t like him that way.  He’s not my type and never will be.  Besides, I’m not petite or blonde, so that means I’m not his type either.  I doubt he feels that way about me, too, because, like you said, he was with Leighanne for all those years, and he couldn’t possibly be over her yet.  There’s probably a perfectly reasonable explanation for his behavior lately, and I’m going to figure it out.  Soon.”

There was silence for a few moments.  Then, Nick grinned.  “Wow.  No wonder you’re such a good nanny.  I’m shaking in my shoes from that voice.”

She threw his fries at him.

***

Mac tucked Baylee into the bed in Brian’s suite.  They were in Lincoln, Nebraska, and it had only been eight hours since her rather infuriating conversation with AJ and Nick.  She was still fuming over it.  She still couldn’t believe the nerve they’d had to even suggest that she and Brian might be attracted to each other.

“Mac?” Baylee was clearly fighting sleep as he fought to keep his drooping eyelids open.

“Yes, Bay?” She sat on the edge of his bed and ruffled his hair.

He rubbed at his eyes and gave her his most charming smile. “Can you tell me a story?”

“Aww, Baylee, I’m sorry. I left all the storybooks on the bus. Maybe your dad can sing you to sleep,” she offered, but he shook his head.

“I want a story,” he whined, sleepily.  “Please, Mac.”

She sighed a little before scooting him over on the bed to make room for herself.  When his head was resting against her shoulder, she told him the first story she could think of: The Frog Prince.  She added silly voices for the frog and made Baylee giggle.

Brian paused as he passed the door to the bedroom and stared.  It was so perfect, he couldn’t help but think.  Mac and Baylee curled up together just the way Leighanne had once done for their son.  He shook his head, trying to banish the thought of Mac as part of his little family.  Those kinds of thoughts weren’t going to help his failing plan to get rid of his attraction to her.  With some difficulty, he dragged himself away from the cute scene.

Mac had seen him, and she’d also seen the scowl on his face as he’d watched them.  It sparked her own temper, and, the instant Baylee fell asleep, she edged out of bed and went to ream his father out.

She found him on the balcony, staring out over the quiet city.  If she were a photographer, he would’ve been the perfect picture opportunity.  She couldn’t deny that he was attractive, or the fact that he looked ridiculously delicious with that somber look on his face and the city lights reflected in the background.  But there was something else about him that tugged at her heart.

He looked…lonely, she realized, and sighed.  Feeling sorry for him wasn’t going to help her drag his problem out of him.

“Brian?”

His head whipped around, and she noticed that his expression was wary.  “Yeah?”

His slightly irritated voice fueled her temper. “Look, I know you’ve got some sort of problem with me, but giving me the cold shoulder is not exactly mature.  Why don’t you grow up and just say it to my face.  What did I do that’s bugging you so much?”

“Uh,” his mind scrambled for an excuse, “I’m not giving you the cold shoulder.”  Oh, that’s a good one, he scolded himself.  That’s real mature. Denial.

Clearly, she wasn’t buying it either.  “Give me a break, Brian.  You’ve been avoiding me like I’ve got some contagious disease or something, and you go around acting all pissed off with me.  I thought we were friends,” she added, her voice softening.

He wanted to reach out and hold her close, but he knew he couldn’t.  Now, his voice reflected his annoyance with himself, though Mac didn’t know it. “We are friends, Mac, but, sometimes, you gotta back off, okay? I don’t need you breathing down my neck all the time.  We’re trapped on a bus together seventy-five percent of the time, so I don’t know why you can’t just give me some space when we’re not.  Instead, you come barging in to yell at me.  Jeez, talk about clingy.”

“Excuse me?” She was shocked and hurt.  The pain only added to her anger.  “I didn’t know you felt like you were stuck with me.  If you didn’t want me as Baylee’s nanny, you didn’t have to hire me.”

Brian shook his head.  “I didn’t have a choice.  You seemed like the sanest one of all of them, but, suddenly, I’m rethinking that decision.  Why don’t you just leave me alone? You’re giving me a headache with your hysterics.” God, he thought.  He hadn’t been this mean to a woman in…ever.  He was disgusted with himself, but he kept reminding himself that it was for the best.

Mac was silent for several moments, and Brian began to sweat about what she was thinking.  Finally, she spoke.

“You know, I always thought you were a self-righteous jerk, who didn’t care about anyone or anything but yourself.  I figure the rest of the band and your family are the exception to the rule, but I guess I was crazy to think that I was, too.  I was right about you, Brian.  You’re definitely that bastard, and I-”

His lips cut her off as he pressed them firmly to hers.  For an instant, she was absolutely still.  Then, as every last thought flew out of her head, she kissed him back.  The kiss tasted of anger, and Brian forgot to be gentle.  When he yanked her into his arms, she banded her arms around his neck as her lips opened.  Not hesitating for a second, he took advantage of it and shoved the kiss deeper and into darker depths than he’d ever been in before.

If it wasn’t for the fact that they were both still vibrating with fury, Mac would have melted against him.  Instead, her hands clawed down his back and slid under his shirt to his skin.  Brian’s arms tightened around her so that they were pressed together, curve to curve, angle to angle.  His hands dragged through her curly hair, the band holding it back flying off, pulling her head back, so that he could change the angle of the kiss and deepen it.  Neither of them seemed to be able to get enough of the other.

Only when her back hit the wall and a nearby picture fell of the wall, did their senses return.  Mac’s head rested against his shoulder as she breathed in his scent and wondered what the hell had just happened.  

Brian let his head fall against the wall as he berated himself.  So much for restraint and avoidance, he thought.  But, God, he’d never take back that kiss with Mac.  It had been…

Mind-blowing. Earth-shattering.

Carefully, he shifted back enough to look down at her.  Her eyes fluttered open, the shock and arousal reflected in their pretty green depths.

“Well,” he began, cracking a smile, “you were right.  You are definitely a good kisser.”