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Author's Chapter Notes:
So, mad props for Sarah's kiss right??? I know I was excited about it. My only regret is that I had to follow it... (So I apologize in advance.) Thanks again for all the enthusiastic reviews! Y'all are the best! We love you!
Chapter 13

Still panting heavily, trying to reclaim some of the breath Brian had stolen from her, Mac fell victim to his piercing stare the instant her eyes fluttered open. He was smirking at his own words, but his eyes were still severely dark with passion, and the few centimeters of space he’d placed between them merely teased her now-aching body. Closing her eyes again, she threw her head back, resting the weight of her body against the wall in order to give her knees a chance to regain their strength.

“Jesus Brian,” she muttered, still unable to collect a single thought.

Brian watched her fight the stimulation she felt, and his mouth watered at the way her body seemed to tremble with desire. God, she was beautiful. And she wanted it; he could tell. She wanted it as badly as he wanted it. Something in his head told him they couldn’t, but, every time her chest rose and fell, it seemed to lure him closer to her until he could taste each breath she exhaled. When their eyes met again, there was a brief pause as they second-guessed their instincts, and then they crashed together again in an explosion so passionate it nearly sent them through the thin hotel wall.

The next few moments were a blur of heated lust as they struggled to free themselves of their clothes and find the couch. Unable to tear themselves from one another, they barely noticed when they missed their target and went crashing to the floor. Their fingers were in a frenzy to find one another’s flesh, and they couldn’t seem to suck enough passion from each other’s skin to appease the cravings burning inside them.

Brian shivered at the intoxicating feel of her skin against his, and it broke him from the throes of passion just long enough to realize what was about to happen. “We shouldn’t,” he stammered as Mac climbed into his lap, yanking his belt free from its grip, but the sensation he got as she unzipped his pants dissolved any rational thought he had.

He pulled Mac against him, and she gasped a sharp intake of breath when he sank his teeth lightly into the crook of her neck and let his hands explore her every curve. “You’re right,” she agreed between kisses. “It’s completely wrong.”

The cool air of the chilled hotel room pricking his bare skin, mixed with the heat radiating from Mac, was driving Brian in a way he’d never experienced, and he threw her on her back, crushing his lips hard against hers. Strangely excited by his aggression, Mac pulled him into a kiss so violently deep that darkness blurred his vision, and, knowing he was about to lose all self control, he pulled himself back a moment to give her the opportunity to refuse him if she needed. “We could stop,” he panted, praying to God that she wouldn’t.

He received his answer in the way Mac squirmed when his body lifted away from her. “Oh God Brian,” she breathed as if she were in pain, “don’t make me wait any longer.”

Hearing her call out his name, begging him to take her, awakened sensations in Brian that he didn’t know could be resurrected and all thoughts of hesitation vanished. There was no way something that felt so right could be wrong.

***

It wasn’t until they were finished and lying in a sweaty tangled mess of limbs that reality began to catch up with them. And the reality of the situation was that neither of them knew where to go from here. There was no denying it was the greatest sex either of them had ever had, but what should have been a blissful afterglow felt much more like a painful guilt-fest as they each scrutinized their impulsive behavior.

While Mac worried about how getting involved with Brian could distract her from her mission, jeopardize her cover, and ultimately ruin her career, Brian’s thoughts lingered in a much darker corner of his mind. When she’d yelled at him, he fed off of her anger and let his deepest, darkest desires control his actions. The way he’d ravaged her was, rough, dirty, and like nothing he’d ever done before. It was almost as if it hadn’t even been him anymore, and what perturbed him about it the most was the fact that this was not the first time he’d felt that way.

There was a darkness inside him, Brian knew, that was growing stronger everyday as the Avenging Angel struggled to conquer the mild mannered man beneath the mask. He knew he was playing with fire, but he liked the power. He liked the feeling of control his strength gave him, and the feeling of vengeance that came when he stopped a criminal or saved a life was like a drug. He knew he wouldn’t stop his moonlighting hero work, but he had to gain control of the domineering alter ego.

Brian looked down at the woman he still held in his arms and realized just how dangerous she was to him. Her voice, her smile, and the way she was with his son may have shattered the walls he’d put up around his heart, but the distraction that it caused made him careless. The more she controlled his emotions, the more his emotions controlled the Avenging Angel, and the consequences of that could be disastrous. But, even as he lay there telling himself he couldn’t be with her, his fingers grazed her skin with the physical impossibility of pulling away. He was eventually dragged from his inner turmoil by the sound of her soft yet firm voice.

“Brian, we can’t do this.”

He wondered what her reasons were for dismissing the possibility of a relationship, but he didn’t dare ask. The last thing he needed to do was accidentally talk her out of the decision he wouldn’t be able to make on his own.

“I know.” He sighed.

“I should probably go.”

Mac sat up and began clumsily putting her clothes back on, and, while Brian knew it was for the best, anger and frustration crept into his heart. Mac noticed the grim look and understood exactly how he felt. She’d never had a connection like that with any man, and, as much as she secretly wished he would scoop her into his arms and keep her forever, she knew it just couldn’t happen.

Their entire relationship thus far was based on a lie. And, even if they could get past that one day, their careers would never allow them to be together. Then there was Baylee to think of. That poor, sweet boy had already lost his mother. He didn’t need to be dragged into the kind of mess that a relationship with Brian could potentially—no would—be. And, as much as she hated to admit it, Brian was still a suspect in her case. She could be sleeping with the enemy.

No, it was impossible.

Mac sighed and managed a weak smile that Brian was barely able to mimic. “It’s just…”

“Too complicated,” Brian offered when Mac had to search for the right words and came up empty.

“Yeah,” she agreed and then slipped out the door and down the hall to the safety of her own room.

***

The awkwardness began the next morning with the bus ride to Des Moines, and only got worse over the next two days. Things weren’t so bad when they were stopped. They could greet each other pleasantly enough and then avoid each other just as easily because there was always work to be done. But it was the endless hours on a tiny bus together that proved to be the most difficult. Pretending that nothing had happened, pretending they hadn’t both liked it, and especially pretending that they didn’t have any desire to do it again. Neither would own up to it, but there was electricity between them now that they had to fight with great effort when they got too close to each other.

It was the third night that nearly cracked them though. After the performance in Dallas, Baylee was already asleep by the time Brian showed up at the hotel, which left him and Mac in the situation they’d both feared for days. Brian smiled nervously when he saw Mac curled up on the couch with that big leather journal she always seemed to be writing in. She looked so cute in those giant sweats she often wore, and he gulped because he loved the way she seemed to disappear in them.

“Baylee’s already asleep?” he asked, stating the obvious just to break himself from the image of pulling the baggy clothes right off of her.

“For an hour already, so I’m afraid it’s just us tonight.”

Mac’s words made her heart flutter the instant they escaped her lips. There was a moment of deathly silence until finally Brian sighed and took a seat next to her on the couch. “Maybe it’s a good thing I have you to myself for once,” he began, “because there’s something I’ve been needing to tell you. I’m so sorry, about the other night. I should never have-”

“Oh no, Brian, don’t be sorry about that,” Mac interrupted, shutting her journal and pulling it tightly to her chest. “In case you didn’t notice, you weren’t the only one misbehaving.”

Brian had noticed, and that was the reason he’d been going so crazy since it had happened. He was still surprised at the way Mac had seemed to match his physical stamina that night, and his body was aching to find out if she could do it again. But he knew he couldn’t, so he shook himself of the vivid memory and tried to keep the conversation focused.

“I wasn’t referring to that,” he admitted shyly, “I was actually talking about before we um, well, before that. All those things I said to you? I was just frustrated. I didn’t mean any of it and I feel awful.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Mac said sincerely and then smirked. “I figured it was probably something like that when you kissed me, and nothing says I’m sorry like a little angry sex.” She smirked at the horrified look on Brian’s face. “It’s okay.” She laughed, giving his leg a reassuring pat. “It was by far the best apology I’ve ever had. In fact, it was so good I can’t even remember what you said.”

Normally, such a comment would have made Brian blush horribly, but the only thing he was thinking about was her hand still resting gently on his thigh and the smile that had been plaguing his dreams. “Even still,” he muttered, unable to look away from her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted,” Mac whispered.

There was silence again, and, next thing Mac knew, Brian was tucking her bangs behind her ear. “You should really cut these things,” he mused aloud, trying his hardest not to pull her lips to his.

Mac was bewitched by his touch and accidentally let her journal fall to the floor, sending a few papers flying from its pages. The small thud startled them from their trance, and they both forced nervous laughs. Mac’s heart jumped when Brian reached for the book, but he simply handed it back to her without giving it a second thought, and, as she clutched the journal, she realized how easily she could have just blown her entire case. She cursed herself for being so careless and was shocked that Brian could have such an effect on her. This had to stop, and it had to stop now.

“I should get going,” she said, jumping to her feet.

As Mac chastised herself for losing her head and hurried to the door, Brian gathered the few scattered papers that had fallen from her journal. His eyes widened at the pictures in his hands, and he quickly tried to hide his look of surprise. He covered it with a smirk and held up the drawings. “What are these?”

Mac panicked for a moment, but let out a breath of relief when she saw the pile of comic strips. Brian smirked at her obvious discomfort. “Don’t tell me you have a secret crush on the Avenging Angel,” he teased.

“I think you mean Nick.” Mac laughed nervously.

Brian jolted with surprise. “You have a thing for Nick?” he gasped, sending Mac into a fit of laughter so wild she had to throw her hand over her face to muffle the sound.

“Yeah genius.” She giggled more quietly. “I’m having a hard time not kissing you right now because I want Nick.” Mac choked on her sentence and turned bright red, shocked by her surprise confession. “Not that I want… Um, I just meant that Nick likes…” She gave up trying to backpedal, realizing it was useless, and snatched the drawings from Brian’s hand. “Good night, Brian.”

Brian was startled by the abrupt exit and hated to think she was upset, especially when he was feeling the exact same way. He figured it was time to talk about it, so he followed her out the door. “Mac, wait a minute,” he called as she unlocked her hotel room door.

He caught up to her just before she got inside and he placed his hand on the door so that she couldn’t shut it on him. “You’re not the only one having a difficult time here, ok? Why don’t you come back, just for a few minutes, so we can talk about this.”

Mac looked down at the picture of the Avenging Angel in her hand and then smiled up at Brian with pained eyes. “I think we both know what will happen if I come back to your room right now, and you know that’s not a good idea.”

Brian wanted to argue with her, but he knew she was right. And it was a bad idea, he reminded himself. When he sighed, Mac took his hand off of her door and gave it a gentle squeeze before letting it go. “Good night, Brian,” she said again, and he didn’t stop her when she shut the door this time.

When the hallway was quiet, Brian’s emotions overwhelmed him. He was upset about Mac, and it made him think of Leighanne. How his heart could have been turned from his wife in such a short time was still a mystery, but he’d moved on from those thoughts to new ones. It wasn’t that he didn’t still love her and miss her so badly it hurt, it was just that Mac seemed to fill that void in his life. And, no matter how much he was afraid of replacing Leighanne, he liked the way Mac made him feel.

These past three days, she’d been all he could think about, and he wasn’t sure he would be able to ignore those feelings much longer. When he was with her, the loneliness dissipated, and his heart threatened to be happy.

But…

He hated her for it. He hated the fact that he wanted her so badly. He hated that she made him feel guilty for wanting someone who wasn’t his wife when his wife hadn’t even been dead a year. But, even more than that, he hated that she was right, that he couldn’t just have her.

Anger swept through him quickly and he wanted to just beat down her door and yank her into his arms. The desire was so strong that he had to do the only other thing that could possibly deter his mind from his struggles, and, after talking AJ into staying with his son while he went to the gym, he disappeared into the night.

***

Nearly twenty minutes after she’d said goodnight to Brian, Mac was still festering about it. She tried to take her mind off of him by working on her case, but she knew she was only fooling herself. She’d been so preoccupied for over a week now that she simply had nothing to do. Her journal wasn’t going to tell her anything more right now than it had the last time she looked over it. Mac walked down the hall to get a soda from a vending machine, and, as she headed back to her room, she stopped in front of Brian’s door.

She debated for a minute, wondering how much it was all worth it. Her mind instantly turned back to the night she, Baylee, and Brian had sat on the bus, playing games together. It had almost felt as though they were a family. Mac’s stomach lurched up into her throat when she realized she was actually imagining what it would be like to be in their lives that way. She didn’t know what scared her more: the fact that being a wife and mother suddenly didn’t seem all that scary, or the fact that she was seriously thinking about dropping her case to see if a relationship with Brian was really possible.

Of course not, she scolded herself internally. It was impossible, and she didn’t want it. It was just the situation. Too much time in too close of quarters, that’s all it was. It was just the tour life making her go stir crazy.

Mac ran to her room to change her clothes. She didn’t care that, when she had told Jake of her plan to meet the Avenging Angel, he’d threatened to come and drag her home if she tried something so stupid. She didn’t care that it was a long shot, or that it was dangerous. She had to do it because she was losing her mind. She’d heard other agents speak of getting in too deep while being undercover that they began to forget which life was the real one. That’s what was happening here. Mac was getting in too deep, and, the sooner she brought this case to a close, the sooner she could get out.

She worked up a sweat as she ran through the streets of Dallas, feeling a little more clear and focused from the rush of endorphins the workout produced. She slowed her run to a light jog, heart pounding, as she neared the part of town the hotel clerk specifically specified was the worst.

The streets were lonely and dim, and, despite the hot muggy atmosphere, a chill ran up Mac’s spine when she eyed two men looking in her direction. She’d opted to leave her gun at home because of her undercover profession, but she started to regret that decision as the men started walking toward her. There were only two of them, though, and she was sure she could handle it. After all, the point was to get herself into a little trouble. She took a deep breath and waited for the men to get a little closer, ready to defend herself.

“You look lost, sugar.” The larger man laughed as he came to a stop right in front of her.

“Not exactly.” Mac smirked.

The men were surprised by Mac’s confidence, and it made her realize that she would have to act afraid and even scream for help if she expected the Avenging Angel to come find her. “I’m sure I can find my way home,” she said quietly as she slowly began to back away from them.

“What’s your hurry, babe?” the smaller one asked.

Smiles returned to the men’s faces, and Mac’s temper raged inside her as she realized they were getting off on seeing her afraid. It was this type of man that fueled Mac on her quest to make the world a better place. When the smaller man reached out and ran the back of his hand down Mac’s arm, she instinctively swatted him away. “Don’t touch me,” she ordered.

She took a defiant stance, which amused the men, and they laughed to one another before both stepping toward her. The smaller man’s hands were on her first, and she thrust the palm of her hand into this face, instantly forcing a river of blood to stream down it. “Shit!” he yelled, doubling over in pain. “The bitch just broke my nose.”

“You want to play rough, huh?” the second, much larger man asked, flipping open a switchblade.

Mac saw the knife glisten in the moonlight and thought for a moment that maybe Jake had been right. She was unarmed, and there was way to know for sure if the Avenging Angel would come to her rescue. Thinking it was time to call it quits, she began backing away again, but, before she could make a run for it, the man jumped at her and tackled her to the ground.

He was much larger than she was, but Mac knew how to fight and managed to free herself with a knee to the groin so hard she was sure it would take doctors to find his testicles. She got to her feet as fast as she could only to meet her first attacker, and he was more than a little angry about his nose. “Going somewhere bitch?” he asked, thrusting a knife of his own at her.

Mac jumped back, but the man still managed to slice through her arm. The surprising pain caused her to stumble, and the man balled up his fist and cracked it against her face so hard she fell to the ground. Her head hit the curb on her way to the pavement, and she had to fight to keep conscious as she felt the warmth of blood start to trickle to the ground beneath her.

The man jumped on her, but was instantly lifted away. Mac was confused and forced her eyes to open when she heard loud crashes and grown men groaning. It was him, she thought. The Avenging Angel.

Mac tried to sit up, needing desperately to catch a glimpse of her rescuer, but her head would not allow it, so she lay there, waiting for the sounds of beatings to stop. As she listened, she remembered why she’d come on this mission in the first place and became angry. “Stop!” she yelled as loudly as she was capable of doing.

Brian froze, surprised by the command, and dropped the bloody man to the ground. He curiously approached the woman lying on the street, never dreaming for a second that he would meet such a familiar face. He recognized her instantly and started to gasp her name in horror but caught himself just in time. “Ma- am, ma’am,” he stuttered and then lowered his voice to a rough grumble. “Ma’am, are you alright?”

“You have to stop this,” Mac said again.

She tried to look up at him, but he seemed to be standing just outside the reaches of the moonlight, and she barely managed to make out his form at all. She forced herself into a sitting position in an attempt to get a better look, but, the minute she did, dizziness took over. She swayed but was secure in his arms before she could fall back to the ground. As he scooped her up, she looked into his eyes, and, for the tiniest brief second before she fell unconscious, she thought of Brian and hoped he would be there when she woke up.

***

Mac’s wish went un-granted though, because the only person there to greet her when she woke up was a pushy doctor that was poking at her arm. After explaining that the extent of her injuries were a mild concussion and a few stitches, he gave Mac a handful of painkillers and then passed her off to the waiting Dallas PD.

The rookie cop questioned Mac while she waited to be released from the hospital, but, much to her annoyance, he seemed as star struck as anyone who’d come in contact with the Avenging Angel. He seemed infinitely more interested in the superhero that dropped her off at the hospital than actually investigating the crime. He asked a few questions but then took down her information and told her he’d call if he needed anything further.

Mac was so angry that her head throbbed over the dulling affect of the Vicodin in her system. Then, to make matters worse, the hospital called the tour manager just as soon as she’d given them her information. Geneen called Brian first, and he, of course, was already pacing his hotel room like a nervous wreck waiting for the call.

After the Avenging Angel had dropped Mac at the emergency room, he’d known it would only be a matter of time before someone would call Brian. He knew he would have to be in his hotel room when they did, so he went straight back and somehow managed to smile through a ten-minute conversation with AJ about needing to go out together one of these times.

The hardest part for him was the acting like everything was completely normal and, then again, acting surprised when he finally got the call from Geneen. But the worry in his voice was genuine, and it was only natural that he would want to be the one to go get her, so he insisted that Geneen stay with Baylee, and he hurried to the hospital as fast as he could.

Mac wasn’t surprised at all when Brian showed up; she’d known he would’ve been worried sick and would probably overreact to the whole thing, but it felt so good when he pulled her into his arms.

“Are you alright?” Brian whispered, practically fighting back tears as he spoke.

“I’m fine,” Mac promised. “I just want to get out of here.”

Brian didn’t have to be told twice, and he took her back to the hotel, refusing to let her stay alone that night. It was nearly 4am, and her head hurt, so Mac didn’t put up a fight when Brian moved his sleeping child to the sofa bed in his suite and carried her into the bedroom without giving her a choice in the matter. She even waited very impatiently for him to come back while he gave Geneen the rest of the details and promised that they could still leave the hotel in the morning as scheduled.

When Brian entered the bedroom again, he didn’t bother to say anything. He just climbed onto the bed beside Mac and gently pressed his lips to hers as if he’d never needed a kiss so badly in all his life.

“Brian,” Mac protested.

“I can’t help it, Mac. I’m just so glad you’re okay. I about had a heart attack when Geneen called me,” Brian said and kissed her again despite her weak attempt to push him away.

Mac gave in and let him kiss her, but she gave him a stern look when he climbed beneath the covers and pulled her tightly into his arms. He clung to her as if she’d nearly disappeared on him, and he wasn’t going to let that happen again. Mac wanted to resist him, but the feeling of his strong, safe arms pulling her against him so tightly that she could feel his heart beating, made it impossible. Her tough outer shell began to break down, and she just wanted him to take care of her.

The sigh she subconsciously released as her tired, sore body relaxed against him made Brian’s heart melt. He lay there in silence for a few minutes with so many questions plaguing his mind, most of which he couldn’t ask without revealing the truth of his involvement. Finally, he decided there was at least one that was safe. “Mac?”

“Hmm?” she murmured sleepily, and the way she nestled herself against him was torture.

“What on Earth were you doing out there by yourself late at night?”

Mac had known this question was coming. She was actually surprised it took as long for him to ask as it did, but she was glad because it had given her time to prepare her answer. “I really needed to clear my head, so I went for a run. I never expected things would turn out like they did.”

That was the truth. Sort of.

Brian thought for a moment and then let out a giant sigh of defeat. “Mac,” he began again, “if we’re both so frustrated that we can’t think clearly, then maybe we’re better off not fighting it. Maybe we should just let this happed. I know I’d be a lot more focused if I wasn’t so busy trying to push you out of my head all the time.”

Brian had a point. Mac had been spending all her energy stressing about Brian, and surely she could be more focused on her case if she didn’t constantly have him clouding her thoughts. It was clearly not helping to stay away from him, so being with him couldn’t really make it any worse. And, besides, Brian had been at the hotel with Baylee all night, so it couldn’t have been him coming to her rescue. So if he wasn’t a suspect, then why wouldn’t it be okay to be with him?

Right?

Mac looked up at Brian, who was waiting patiently for a response, and ignored the ache in her head as she answered him with a kiss. One kiss became two, and then three, until, finally, Mac had to give in to the demands of her body and lay down.

“Do you need anything?” Brian asked as he watched her make herself as comfortable as possible with the back of her head stitched up.

“Just sleep,” Mac muttered as her eyes fluttered shut.

“Okay,” Brian whispered, placing one last kiss to her lips. “Goodnight, Mac.”

Brian made himself comfortable next to her and took her hand in his. “You know what’s funny?” Mac whispered, sounding half asleep already.

“What’s that?”

“The world’s very first super hero saved my life tonight, and, as he carried me to safety, I looked into his eyes, and the only thing I could see was your face.”

Mac gave Brian’s hand a gentle squeeze and then promptly drifted off into a sound sleep, leaving Brian to think what he wanted about her last statement.

It was enough to make him feel sick to his stomach.