Brian checked the GPS navigator and took the exit it directed him towards. The late afternoon sunlight reflected on his dark sunglasses as he glanced through the rearview mirror to check on his children. Kayla slept peacefully in her car seat, while Baylee watched a movie on the television screen tucked into the back of Brian’s seat. Though there were still times when Baylee complained about moving, he’d slowly come to accept that it would happen whether or not he wanted it.
Shifting his gaze from the back, he glanced around at the scenery they passed as he drove down a busy thoroughfare. There were dozens of shops lining the street, and he tried to find all the ones he could remember roaming through as a child, then a teenager. He recalled vividly the taste of the chocolate in Milton’s Candy Corner as he saw the familiar sign for the shop that was nearly a Lexington institution. He was pleased to find that, while there had been several changes over the years, much of the city had stayed the same.
He frowned, though, when they were stopped at an intersection. Where was the basketball court he’d always shot hoops at with his friends? It should have been on that corner, he thought, but, where the court had once stood, there was now a bustling bank. He supposed it was to be expected. After all, the city had to have grown, too. He couldn’t have been the only one making changes in his life.
When he turned into the quiet, tree-lined neighborhood, he studied, for the thousandth time, the place he’d decided to relocate his family to. The houses were spread apart and were good-sized, single family homes. Not brand new, but not too old, these homes were elegant and stately, and he figured Leighanne would have approved. At least, he hoped she would have.
“Here we go, Baylee.” Brian eased the car into the driveway of their new home and, turning off the engine, got out of the car. While he eased Kayla’s carrier out without waking her, Baylee scrambled out of the car and, arms folded over his chest, stared at the home. Brian moved to stand next to him, and, together, father and son examined their new home.
The house was built of weathered red brick and gray stone and sprawled across lawns that were slowly turning green with spring. A wide porch wrapped around the front and side of the house, and a stone pathway led up to the wooden white steps up to the porch. Two stories tall and giving off an aura of coziness, it awaited them.
Squeezing Baylee’s shoulder comfortingly, Brian started up the pathway. Baylee followed him, a nervous feeling roiling in his belly. He hadn’t wanted to leave his home behind, but, because Brian always got a sad feeling on his face when he complained about moving, Baylee had finally complied with the move. It wasn’t going to be fun, he decided as Brian unlocked the door, but he was going to do it. For Daddy.
And maybe even for Kayla. He didn’t really hate her, but she had changed everything in his life by being born. Even though there were still times when he wished his father could return her to the hospital, he knew it wasn’t possible. Besides, he was coming to like being a big brother. His friends at school had little brothers and sisters, and they all said that it was pretty cool to get to be the big kid in the family because you got be the one to know everything first. And Daddy would probably rely on him more to help take care of things. That was okay in Baylee’s book because he wanted all the grown up things that came with ‘sponsibility.
But he still missed his mommy every single day and night.
They stepped into the foyer, and Brian let out the breath he hadn’t been aware he’d been holding.
“Home sweet home, Baylee,” he said aloud and felt Baylee tense up a bit under his hand.
Though he knew Baylee would take some time to feel comfortable here, Brian knew it was going to be all right. For the first time since he’d decided on moving, he was absolutely certain he’d made the right decision.
It felt right, he thought. It might not have been the home he and Leighanne had made for their family, but, then, this home wasn’t meant to be like the old one. This was going to be the one he created for his children, one in which he hoped they would grow up happy. He glanced down at Kayla, who was still sleeping peacefully in her carrier. This would be a home where she would know only happiness and no pain, no sense of loss. Not the way Baylee did and would for quite some time.
Brian watched as Baylee walked around the front entrance, his nose wrinkled as he studied the credenza set against one wall and the elegant mirror hanging on another. When his son moved into the parlor, Brian followed him.
“What do you think, Bay?” Brian set Kayla down next to one of the brand-new sofas he’d ordered for the room. Every piece of furniture in this home was new. The old house was still theirs, as well, and Brian had been unable to bear moving even one piece of furniture from it.
Baylee plopped onto a loveseat and felt the plush material give under his weight. “I guess it’s okay.”
Brian smiled. “Wanna see your room, buddy?”
Baylee shrugged. He wanted to see his old room, the one in Georgia, but, remembering his resolution, he stood and followed Brian up the stairs to his new room. Brian had flown up the week before to organize all the furniture and make certain that everything was arranged the way he thought his children would be most comfortable. He just hoped that, knowing his son, he’d made the best decision.
When Baylee stepped into the room that was to be his, Brian had the pleasure of watching Baylee’s jaw drop. “Wow, Daddy.” The words were a reverent whisper. “This is so cool! Look at the bed!” And, forgetting that he still wore shoes, Baylee made a flying leap onto the bed to fully enjoy the sheer size of it.
It was the first time Brian had heard his son laugh in the months since Leighanne’s death, and he cherished it. “So, you like it? You don’t want me to take it back to the store and get another one?”
“Nope!” Baylee bounced some more as he studied the rest of the room. There were basketball posters hanging on the walls, accompanied by movie posters of some of his favorite films. A desk built of the same wood as his bed frame sat against one wall, while a matching chest of drawers took up some space against another. There were three windows facing the backyard, and Baylee could see the enormous backyard this new home had. “Daddy?”
“Yeah, Bay?” Brian moved to stand next to Baylee when his son went to the windows. “Is everything okay with the room? Is there anything else you want? Besides a TV and your PS3?”
Baylee shook his head. “No, I like it. A lot. Thanks, Daddy.” His arms went around his father, and, in an old habit that was hard to break, Brian scooped his son up into his arms. “We have a really big backyard, huh?”
Brian studied the vast expanse of green grass that was surrounded by enormous oaks and maples on three sides. “Yeah, I guess we do.”
“Let’s make a garden. Like the one we have at…” Baylee trailed off, remembering that this was now home. “In Georgia,” he finished. “I think Mommy would like it if we had a garden like hers. I could help you plant the flowers. Mrs. Simon said that the best time to plant a garden was in the spring ‘cause the flowers get all the April showers that they need to grow and grow. Maybe if we planted one, it would be all pretty and stuff by summer.” He stopped and waited for Brian to answer. It had been a while since he’d said that much to his father, and Brian’s surprised look made him wish he hadn’t gotten so mad and shut him out.
“Of course, we can.” Brian squeezed Baylee close, thrilled by the way his son was opening up to him again after weeks of sullen silences. “And, you know what else we can do?”
“What?”
“How would you like a swing set or a jungle gym? Maybe even a slide,” he suggested. “I know we didn’t have that before, but we’ve got plenty of room, and we can build one.”
“And then, when Kayla gets bigger, I can push her on the swing.” Baylee grinned. “I bet she’ll like all of that, too. Right, Daddy?”
Brian glanced over his shoulder at where the nearly three month old lay napping. “I bet she would. There’s still a while before she can enjoy it, but I know she’d love it if her big brother helped push her on the swings.” He kissed Baylee’s forehead before setting him back on the ground. “So, tomorrow, after your first day of school at Pine Forest Elementary, we can go and buy all the things we need to make our garden and look at all the things we’ll need for the playset. How’s that sound?”
“Do I have to go to school tomorrow?” Baylee stared at his feet, wishing the answer was no and knowing it would be a yes.
“I know it’s gonna be hard, Bay, to go to a new school, but I promise that everything will be okay. Before you know it, you’ll make brand new friends, and you’ll have lots of fun.” Brian ruffled Baylee’s curls, making his son smile hesitantly. “I met your teacher, Miss Holloway last week. She’s pretty excited to have you in class.”
“Yeah?”
Brian smiled. “Yup. She said that she’s already coming up with all sorts of fun activities that the class can do to help you learn all about what they do in her class. Plus, your class has a pet hamster. Isn’t that cool?”
“Yeah.” Baylee seemed to perk up a bit and remembered his own pets. “Daddy, are the dogs gonna come soon?”
Brian nodded, remembering that their two dogs were traveling up with Leighanne’s sister when she came with the last of their things. “They’ll be here in a couple days, and then our family will be set.” He checked his watch. “Nanny and Papa are expecting us for dinner in a little while. Do you want to watch Kayla while I go get our stuff out of the car?”
“Okay!” Baylee hurried across the room to study his sleeping sister. As he leaned over her, she opened her sleepy eyes and stared up at him for a few moments. “Hi, Kayla. You’re gonna hang out with me while Daddy is busy. It’ll be lots of fun!”
Kayla blinked her bright blue eyes, and then a slow smile spread across her lips as she burbled happily, reaching for her big brother. Baylee took her hands in his and giggled even as she babbled up at him.
Brian stood back and watched them, his own smile so wide it hurt his cheeks. Everything was going to be just fine, he assured himself. And, if a part of him wished desperately for Leighanne to stand next to him and watch the loving interaction between their children, he knew it would probably be that way for months and years to come. For his family’s sake, though, he would fill this new home with so much love and joy that neither Baylee nor Kayla would ever feel the void that Leighanne’s loss had left.
***
“So how does Baylee like the new house?” Jackie Littrell scooped more apple pie onto her son’s plate. He’d grown far too thin in the past months, and she was determined to see him put that weight back on. “Is he still complaining about the move?”
Brian poked at the pie with his fork before taking a tiny bite. He had no appetite but knew his mother would never let him off the hook if he didn’t clear his plate. “He’s okay with it. I think he’s actually getting into the idea, now. He had all these ideas today about making a garden like the one Leigh and I had in Atlanta.” He smiled, remembering Baylee’s ideas for the basement, which was still empty of everything but boxes. “He’s opening up again, and I think he’s slowly getting through the grief.”
“That’s good.” Harold patted his son’s back, even as his eyes shifted to study his grandson playing with the dog. “And Kayla’s okay?”
“She’s the best baby I could’ve ever hoped for,” Brian replied. “She rarely cries, and she drinks all of her milk when she’s supposed to. She had a little cold last week, but you wouldn’t have been able to tell at all from the way she was so peaceful about the whole thing.” He sighed. “She’s a blessing to have. Baylee’s over resenting her for why Leighanne’s not here, and he’s a big help with her. He actually asked if he could learn how to change diapers.”
Jackie chuckled and stroked her finger over Kayla’s cheek. Kayla’s gaze shifted to her grandmother’s face, and Jackie thought it was as though the little girl could see what she was thinking. “You’re such a cutie, honey. You’re gonna be every bit the darling your mother was.”
“She’s got all the Littrell looks, except for the nose and the shape of her eyes.” Brian had a mental flash of Leighanne, hugely pregnant with Kayla, teasing him about how their daughter was going to look just like her. “I guess Leigh was wrong about her getting all the Wallace genes.”
Jackie hated seeing the desolate look in her son’s eyes but knew of no way to dispel the immense grief that still lingered within him. “She’s perfect, Brian, and she’s her own person. She’s everything Leighanne hoped for.”
“Yeah, but there are still times I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t insisted that we have one more baby. But then, that would be like wishing Kayla out of existence, and I can’t bear to do that.” Brian held out his arms, and Jackie passed Kayla over to him. “No matter how much I miss Leighanne, Baylee and Kayla are my world now. I’m going to do whatever it takes to make sure that they’re happy, well-adjusted kids.”
Watching him as he murmured to his daughter, Jackie knew he’d succeed in that goal, but she still wondered. While Brian was so focused on caring for his children, who was going to care for him?
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks for all the reviews, guys! Here's the next chapter!
