“Rehab”
I just don't know why I can't find the things you need in me
Baby, they know just know what to say,
They’re trying to break us away from one another
But maybe they’re right for a change
- Chris Brown, “Just Fine”
Chapter Ten: New Year…
Christmas day itself was spent with Mel and her family. And they’re much like her, opinionated, loud, but a solid family. One I got jealous of back in the day, during college. Mel’s the oldest of four, and with two parents who loved each other dearly. They have made me feel like family before, but it’s always an outsider thing. Me and mom, our Christmases were always special, yet lonely in an odd way. Because mom, even with giving me all the gifts she could afford for me, always had those emotional walls from making it as loving as it should be. Yet despite that, the day has always had a magical feel with me. And honestly growing up next to Nick’s family, the epitome of dysfunction. I swear you look it up, it will say “see Carter family”. I always had to make the holiday special for myself. And I did this year, actually seeing Nick have a human moment on Christmas Eve, and then spending the day with Mel’s family, calling my mother to make sure she knew I loved her.
“Hey, Kay, you alive?”
And now it is New Years Eve, a holiday I never liked. But I’m sitting across from Luke, who’s own pretty eyes were staring at me curiously. His raven dyed locks are tied back, looking slightly scruffy. “Yes, just really enjoying coffee coffee.” We’re terrible, still not saying what was going on. Which is me, going on my first date since…asshole. Yeah, date, I just, it felt weird. I had so many issues, so many damn walls, long before asshole fucked up, but that fuck up make them go back up and get thicker. And here was this open, caring fun guy, carefree, wanting to get to know me better. Pregnant and all.
It’s not something I’m exactly used to, to say the least, ya know?
“Yeah, I tend to get hella fucking thoughtful around New Years, sentimental hormone bullshit basically.”
A chuckle. “Kathryn’s doing the same thing. Her boyfriend up and left her, the bastard so I’m making sure she’s taken care of. So I feel ya.”
“I’d think you’d be sick of pregger women then.”
I saw him smile, a very charming, genuine smile. Almost like asshole’s, only it was a real smile. And it got to me in the same way. Damn. Am I ready for this shit? My butt is already over thinking this but I’m fucking gun shy so now I’m freaked. But I know, I look calm on the outside. Media personalities, no matter what field, entertainment, news, sports, etcetera, know how to at least look collected if nothing else.
“Actually I find them cute. You sure you’re aight?”
“Yeah, I just hate new years, the holiday is beyond stupid to me, and full of bullshit.”
“Well it’s a way to start over, forget the past, get into the future, an adventure you can say.” A smirk hinted around the edges of his mouth as his eyes had this mischievous sparkle in them. “Life is an adventure, even with the bullshit, keeps it interesting.”
“Oh is that right.”
“Yep, so, what are doing tonight to ring in the holiday? Cause me, I’m thinking keeping a sexy looking pregnant girl company, to show her the holiday isn’t that bad. Maybe tote her around her old hometown I bet she hasn’t really relaxed in. And that I’ll be picking her up at around eight o’clock later today. But, she’ll think this is all her idea because I’m going to pull a Jedi mind trick on her.”
I can’t help but laugh, amazed at the smoothness but charming way he just asked me out for tonight. Nice touch with the Star Wars even. I guess its either this or spend it with Mel, or run into Asshole and his bitch. Asshole loves New Years, well now he does. It means big parties and alcohol now. Once, he hated it, as badly as I did. But it’s not time to think of asshole anymore. I’m damn sick of it. The confusing crap and tension always there, which I admit has gotten better. But only by fucking force, mainly my efforts cause we are bringing a child into the world who is not going to suffer at our bullshit.
I’m sick of the pain that comes with thinking about it as well. Lord knows there’s enough reminders of my life that I can’t do shit about.
I let myself smile at Luke, who was just smirking, waiting for my response. “You want to lead me around tonight for New Years?”
“Yes I would, and see that’s why I love the beauty of Jedis, their mind tricks kick ass.”
I laugh again. “You’re something else Luke.”
“Normality is overrated.”
Hmm, with my life? Don’t I know it.
******************
I’m standing here with AJ, at a goddamn baby store. I tried shopping before, and ain’t got shit. And since Howie I couldn’t get a hold of and Bri is back in Georgia with Yoko. I called AJ up. I know his ass hates Kayden, fuck I get it now. But I need help cause this kid is gonna be mine too. Not that Jay knows shit about this stuff. Fuck it I didn’t wanna go alone, and last thing Lissy wants is to help with that shit. Brent is working on the new band I’ll be putting on my label. Bean, fuck I ain’t having him come down. And…well fuck Chris.
I can’t believe the way Kayden’s calmed down lately. Is she acting like her old self lately or is it the fucking pregnancy taming her, and I should still be on guard cause the crazy bitch will return as soon as Haven’s born?
“Nick, why the hell did you drag me here?”
“I need to get something for Kayden, for the baby man.”
“You don’t even know if it’s yours.”
“Jay, man…you never liked her, fucking hell, I know it’s mine.”
“And you think you’re ready to handle a damn kid.”
“Fuck no, but what the hell can I do? Ain’t like I can return it.”
“Nick…what the fuck is that?”
“A little carrier so when I carry the baby.”
He tilted down the sunglasses he wore inside the damn store when it’s cloudy outside, and gave me the wanna be Kevin Look. Then he took it from me, bet ya he’s trying to figure the damn thing out. Don’t say anything, but I hope he does cause it means I won’t have to. “It’s fucking cool that you’re stepping up like this man.”
I blinked at Jay going serious on me. I hadn’t expected that shit. If I wanted it, I would have dragged Brian somehow, or called Kevin up as I did this. Kevin, I think he actually knew this would all play out like it ass so far. Crazy ass psychic eyebrow man. I think Lisette is slowly accepting it too. She bitches about it, but she’s still calling. Still dating me. So she must be taking it aight. I just, I can’t read Lis, I can’t read most damn girls actually. I just know the physical reading shit that makes them scream my name. Heh, heh, heh.
The scariest fucking thing? The only damn girl I was able to really get a mental read on was Kayden. Back before she went crazy and became the bitch she is now. What’s worse?
I can still read the damn girl damn well.
“Nick ya there man?”
I turned to AJ, I think he thinks he put me in shock by saying that now. “I’m here, just spacing, thanks. I just, I ain’t gonna be the shitpot parents mine are. I ain’t gonna abandon this kid, it ain’t right.”
“As long as it’s yours.”
It is, despite my wishes otherwise. If I had my way, this shit would be on the head of the man that showed me Kayden’s bitch transformation. The fucking bastard. If I ever ran into him again…
Screw it, baby shopping. Focus.
Baby shopping.
**********
April 2006
“Chris, come on, where are ya taking me? I have a date with Nick tonight. You know that.”
Despite all the fights between the two growing up, Kayden did sometimes enjoy Chris’ company. It had been the three of them as kids, although her and Chris had had almost as many issues as she did with AJ. In the moments they could get along, which were more common than her and AJ, they did have fun. He had seemed in a goofy mood when he showed up at her condo, saying he wanted her help with something. He had come to LA, unexpected, and she knew Nick didn’t know he was in town yet. He’d be thrilled.
However, she never did say back when they were tweens, part of the reason for the conflicts was Chris wanted to take her out sometime. But that was long past, more than ten years, long forgotten. But after that was when they couldn’t get along so well. Old grudges, even friend altering was, can be easily forgotten.
“Chris come on, quit, show me whatcha need and lets hurry. I don’t want Nick thinking I stood him up, you know how his esteem’s been since that Hoeton heir-ass fucked with him.”
They were in Nick’s neighborhood, she realized as the two stepped out of the car. They strolled together, her wondering of where they were going before he paused, turning towards her. His arms gripped hers gently as lips approached her neck. A trail of kisses are laid upon her skin as she moves away. Maybe old past events aren’t forgotten. “Hey stop, I’m with Nick. I thought you were over this.”
“And I thought you were easy. I thought you‘d want it…”
“Ugh! Stop it!”
“Why? He’s cheating on you with that singer who’s opening for him.”
Forcefully she shoved him onto the ground, eyes blazing at the turn of events. “You lie!
“Oh…do I?”
The beginning of the end flittered through my mind as I sat next to Luke in his Mustang GTO. Black and sleek as any car should be. At least he had good taste. Judging by the year, I figured he had bought it and fixed it up himself. You can tell by the little details. Why am I now thinking of Chris, his advances, and all the chaos that followed? Luke’s smooth, gentle hand caressed the top of mine where they rested on my swelling belly. I need to stop thinking about the past. We’re on the verge of a new year, a new present. So, present, which is my cute date, adorable yet sexy at the same time. We were going dancing, even with my pregnant self.
I think I need this, a chance to get away, the chance to escape it all.
Lord knows I need something now.
*********
I decided to take Lisette out after I got some baby things. I’ll give them to Kayden tomorrow. I ain’t sure how we’re going to do this once the kid is actually born. Am I gonna have Kayden living in my actual house? That’d be fucking psycho crazy. I need to stop calling the baby the kid too. She does have a name now. Haven Jean Carter, I’m still tripped that her mommy dearest let the kid have my name, and even a little namesake. I don’t get that girl sometimes, even when I do get her. Will Lisette try to be surrogate mommy to her? All shit I gotta figure out as we get closer to birth day. The stunning sex on legs I call my girlfriend grinned at me, I think she’s happy it’s me and her again. I know Christmas was a disaster of my making, so why not make it up on the biggest party night of the year.
“Where we going Nick?”
I give her my smile. The charming one girls love from me. “It’s a surprise babe.” I ain’t up for a big party though. I know, hella crazy but true. So why not go local, drink, dance, get a private room there maybe up in VIP and get my naughty on…
Hell yeah.
Happy New Year to me!
Author's Chapter Notes:
This chapter isn't as long as I planned, but that's because I split the night up into two chappies. Anywho, as always thank you so much for the review love, enjoy, and lemme know whatcha think. Toodles!
