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“Rehab”

I know that baby,
We would disagree constantly on the basic things
You thought that there was someone else,
All along, no way, no way…

…Baby, they know just what to say.
They wanna keep us away from one another
But maybe they're right for a change
I think, God will give you someone,
Much better than me…
- Chris Brown, “Just Fine”

Chapter Eleven: …New Start? Or New Troubles?

“Oh my god…you fucking bitch!”

“Kayden get off her!”


“Nick?!”

“Oh look it’s the slut…”

“What the fuck are you doing?! I could kill her!”

“What the hell are you two doing here?”

“You’ve been cheating on me!”

“Nick you’re fucking paranoid and a damn hypocrite! You’re with that damn slut of a singer!”

“Because I know you’re fucking cheating on me! How’s it feel Kayden?! And I almost thought I loved your psycho ass!”


“On a date with my girl. Just what the fuck are you doing here Kayden?! Stalking again?”

“I’m on a date! God forbid, what did every high roller kick you and your white trash out of all that parties that you’re forced to ‘slum’ it with the common folk on New Years Eve?!”

“Nick, I didn’t cheat…I…I love you okay!”

“You’ve never been able to say that, always fucking ditto, like on that stupid movie. Why the fuck now? Cause you’re caught?!”


“Bitch stop talking to my man like that, you damn whore!”

“Girl you better step off before I knock your ass off!”

“Kayden, calm down, remember your condition!”

“Because I do! I just have issues with the words…you should know that better than anyone!”

“I thought I knew you, obviously I know jack shit!”

“I caught you with that Lisette girl dammit! How dare you say all this shit about me that is a LIE when I SAW you with her today?!”


“Yeah bitch remember I can give you the miscarriage you’ll never forget!”

“Lis! Don’t.”

“You’re taking her side!?”

“I’m not going to have you threaten my baby Lissy! Listen to yourself! And Kayden…”

“Wait, Nick Carter is the father of your baby?!”

“Yeah…”

“I can’t believe you believe her!”

“She has the evidence of it Kay! How the fuck can you fight that! How the fuck can you do this to me dammit!”

“You did it to me too! Dammit Nick I SAVED myself and gave it to you!”

“And then to any other guy you could.”


I saw the man she called her date glare at me, and I was waiting for it. For him to try and hit me, fuck it, I’ll kick his ass. His ponytail gothic wanna-be, pansy ass. The way she held to him, the protective stance he took. Where the fuck did he come from anyway? Why would he wanna be with a whore who got her ass knocked up and is therefore damn useless is beyond me. She looked comfortable with him, her arm around him, glaring at me much like the night everything went to fucking hell and never came back. I remember that night so damn vividly. Half my shit got thrown at me that night, by her. Even though she was the fucking one who cheated first. That hurt, hurt beyond anything cause of all people I never expected it from Kay. But the evidence was there, so I did it back, to show her just how much it hurt. Lissy was just a friend before that but she was hot and she looked out for me, so I chose her. Back to the damn present. My arm slid around Lisette. I don’t like her threatening the baby like that, we’re gonna be talking that shit out later.

“Why the fuck did I even let myself try dating your fucked up self!? You’re just a boy trying to be a man, that’s all you ever were! I fucking hate you! Everything you’ve become now!”

“You hate me? Well glad the shit is mutual! Says the one who almost had me thinking I loved her! All you are is a fucking whore! Worse than my mother could ever dream of being!”


“What Nick? Don’t like what you see or something? Or ain’t cha ever seen a normal pair go on a date to have fun before? The way you’re looking at us it must be a new concept for ya. What’s the matter Niiiicky, you forget about normal dates we had once you started it up with the beast you got on your arm now? Must be rough, dating blood suckers like that…”

I tugged Lis back, feeling her about to lunge. No matter how much I hate that bitch, I ain’t letting my girl harm that baby. “Hey bro, why the hell you trying to get your nuts off with that one? She’s outta commission anyway and slutting it up is all the bitch is good for.”

“Says the Backstreet Boy, it’s a miracle someone like you can get a girl pregnant. It’s aight man, your loss, my gain.”

“Luke it’s all good, asshole needs reassurance because he’s got that piece of shit covered trash on his arm.”

It’s funny how I used to love Kayden, and now I can’t stand her.

*********

How could I have thought Nick was almost human again? Fuck him, I’ll hit where it hurts, the gay rumors that haunt him so much. Even if they were always far from true.

“Besides Nick, you have your transvestite now!” And then she lunged, infuriated. Only to be held back by Luke’s strong arms as the dance music beat heavily through the small dance club. That was when security approached, glaring at the four of us. Guess I got too loud in my murder attempt. Oh well.

“Don’t you call me a fucking whore you self absorbed poor excuse for a pop star!”

“At least I MADE it in my career? Where are you?! Nowhere, whores never go anywhere but on another man’s cock!”


“Kayden get fucking control before I make you!”

“You ain’t gonna touch her man.”

“Hey, hey, what the hell is going on here?”

Lisette pointed at the other pair, batting her brown eyes seductively. Damn whore. “I’m sorry sir, these two have been harassing me and my boyfriend all because he’s famous and wanted some down time…”

And of course despite all protests, the pop stars won. Isn’t that how it works? So we were back in Luke’s car, both of us silent, unsure of what to say. Damn that asshole!

********

I watched them both go, satisfied beyond all hell. Serves the bastards right. I have to admit, that guy of hers is lower than her old standards, so that shit surprised me. I turned to Lis, who was now almost giddy. That didn’t feel right to me. Like she ain’t got that right to be happy over it like I am.

“Lis, you ain’t gonna EVER threaten the well being of the baby again.” I’m putting a stop to that shit right now. I wasn’t going to say it in front of that Luke or Kayden, cause I didn’t want them to win. But now? I could care less who the fuck hears us.

“But Nick, it WOULD be so much easier if that damn baby was gone! She’d be out of our lives forever this time!”

I grabbed her by the arm, trying to get it in that damn pretty head of hers how serious this shit was. “I don’t care; losing the baby would fuck with my head too. And even Kayden don’t deserve that shit. If you care about me, if you want to be my girl, you are going to accept this baby-”

“-How can I accept it knowing it’s hers?!”

“You’ll accept the baby, treat it like your own, and we’re civil to Kayden around the baby. It ain’t the kid’s fault all this shit happened.”

“Nick-”

“That’s the end of it Lis!”

“Fuck you then! You put me through all this shit, your ex comes back even after what she did to you, pregnant with YOUR kid, you don’t tell me till Christmas Eve. Kayden LIVES on your damn property now too! And you want me to handle all this for you? YOU!?”

I let her rant, before pulling her close. “I know everything’s been fucked. I should have told you earlier, but I couldn’t deal either. I just can’t have you hurt my baby Lissy. I want to be better than my parents were, do you understand that?”

I can feel her calm down, her head resting upon my chest, letting it all sink in. “Yeah Nick, I understand. It’s just hard to swallow.”

“I know, and I’ll make it up to you, somehow. I know life’s sucked ass lately.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah, I promise.” This is the last time I don’t do something big for New Years, this one blows.

*********

“Obviously my words mean shit then?”

“About as much as any other slut’s…”

It was then her fist slammed into his nose, hard. She smirked as she felt it break. He stared at her now furious, and fallen now ex-boyfriend. He stared up at her, not even recognizing the woman he once loved anymore. She had betrayed him; she had done the one thing he thought she’d never do. And so, going back to his old nature, he made sure she knew he did it back. He wanted to make her hurt, hurt like he did when he saw the photos…the photos of her and Chris together, shown by Lisette, who had become his friend since she got the gig as their opening act…


I remember the end, the pain and the heartbreak that consumed me at that time. Hurt and loss that lingers even still, now and then. It was at the unfairness of it all, the fact the end started because of a boldface cruel lie beyond my control. I never once strayed, cheated or even thought about it. Despite my lack of ability to say it, I loved him. Yet, it never could come out till that night, that night when I saw it all falling away and was desperate. I knew I loved him, but then it had hit me how deeply I did, so I said it. Now, I forget why I had. Because now I see how he’s become the asshole he did.

Chris had tried, and failed at getting me to cheat. Even now I wonder if he had the whole thing planned with the dirty slut now on Nick’s arm. See, that night he had made the move, not too far from Nick’s place, Lisette had gotten pictures somehow. She took them herself, bought off a random paparazzi, who knows. But she got them. She showed them behind my back to Nick, who was still pretty fucked up from the late Paris Hilton. So, he believed her, cheated on me with her as payback for a crime I never committed.

Who knew he’d still be dating the tramp now?

That fight in the small club, one I never expected him to be in, reminded me so much of what I was pondering now. The night that all of it ended. Who knew I was already about two weeks pregnant. But tonight, hit me like that had. The rage in Nick’s eyes, the smirky confidence of Lisette that made me want to strangle her. Why was Nick so mad? Did I remind him of that night as well? Did Lisette tell him some new bullshit lie against me because we were finally able to be civil to each other? I don’t know.

And I could care less. Yes Nick screwed up our night royally, but it was only eleven…something. We could find another place to go, to ring in the New Year right. 2007 would be interesting. I had a baby on the way; I was living in Nick’s guest house, unsure of how it’d all work once Haven was born. I also had a sweet and sexy guy interested in me despite me being pregger and as big as a house. I guess life could get worse. I glanced over at Luke again; he had such pretty changing eyes. I think that’s what sucked me in. That and the smile, the genuine, not forced, charming smile.

“What’s the matter Kay?” Nothing, except the fact I can’t make the past fade.

“Kaydee, you know you can always tell me anything.”

“Yeah Nick, I know…”


“Nothing, just, content.” Not a lie, I was, even with the memories never leaving me alone.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Why can’t we ever try it?”

“I don’t want to hate you one day Nick…”


“Even after getting kicked out of the club.”

“Yeah actually.”

“I fucking hate you! Everything you’ve become now!”

“You hate me? Well glad the shit is mutual!”


“It was an adventure.”

I laughed, turning on the radio. “An adventure huh.”

He grinned as he made a turn and sped up a bit as he drove. “Oh yeah…” He rubbed the slight scruff he had along his chin. It added a sense of maturity to what would otherwise be a pretty and youthful looking baby face that looked far younger than his twenty seven years. “You gotta have an adventure, I told ya, that’s all life is. Adventures are what keep it interesting. I love the unexpected.”

“So you’re not mad Nick wa1s being his asshole self and the whole mess got us booted.”

“I can see why you’re not with the prick anymore. I just didn’t expect the father to be a Backstreet Boy, especially Nick Carter. He lost you, which he missed out, and now it’s my gain. And I take it that’s the girl after you he was with.”

I bit my lip, hating again how much that bothered me. The whore got exactly what she wanted, stole it from me. I may not want it anymore, but it still irritated the hell out of me. Damn slut. I nodded. “Yeah she is, and well that’s a long story. I mean I work in the media but that‘s now how we know each other and-”

I saw him blink. “You do? I thought you looked familiar somehow when I bumped into you…”

“Yeah I cover sports events for ESPN; I’m just stuck on maternity leave right now. And…for knowing Nick, well, I just…”

“That’s right. Damn, I gotta watch sports more. As for that prick, you don’t have to talk about it.”

How understanding is that? The car pulled to a stop at a hillside, overlooking the beach where below you could spot the bonfires and fireworks being set off in celebration below. I looked at the clock in the car, 11:59 PM. Damn, we’ve been talking and driving along that long? It was amazing how at ease I felt right now with him. I’m starting to think meeting Luke Sigler is the best thing that could have happened so far. But my thoughts were interrupted as the top to the car went down… (Did I mention it was a convertible? If not, my bad cause I love them), and he pulled me closer to him after I unbuckled the safety belt. No other thoughts entered as I let myself get pulled in, wrapped within his gentle embrace, and welcomed by the sweet taste of his lips meeting mine.

Bliss. For a single moment, there was bliss.

Happy New Year Kayden Jamison. Happy New Year.