“Rehab”
A crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice
I thought you were someone to rely on
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I‘ll give it to someone special…
I‘ll give it to someone…
“Last Christmas” by Ashley Tisdale
Chapter Seven: Conversations
My head pounded. Damn, I shouldn’t have gone out after Lis left last night. But I was fucking frustrated aight. A random slinky female lay next to me, snoring a bit too. That’s fucking attractive, but hell I had good sex, that’s what matters. I knew I promised Lisette no more groupies but I said before I was still having them on the side. What she doesn’t know never hurt her. I stretched, climbing out of bed and getting dressed. I’ll have to wake what’s her face up so I can get her ass out and my ass to the meeting. We were meeting up to decide on a few more things with the album, my ass is just lucky we hadn’t actually said a date for it yet. I gotta tell them I’ll need a delay. They’re gonna be pissed but I can’t do it now, I just found out a few weeks ago I’m having a kid. She still doesn’t know. And it’s getting closer; Florida is actually getting fucking cold.
I hate this time of year, it’s about family and shit, and it reminds me of my lack of it. Usually I get drunk and sleep it off. It’s only a week and a half fucking away, and today I gotta have that damn meeting to tell the guys what’s going on. I headed in the bathroom to shower, the chick will wake up eventually or I’ll get her ass up myself. Good sex sometimes goes sour the morning after, but this one knew me. A regular one night-er. I just didn’t feel like doing this today, but it’s gotta be done sometime.
Fucking hell.
********
I can’t help but sing as I wandered the stores. I love this time of year, which most who know me are surprised to hear. I don’t know, mom always made it special. She tried her best, and I loved her for it. When I was young, this time of year was magical. And dammit it will be for my little girl too. Mel was teaching her class. So I was on my own, trying to get what I knew I needed, keep an eye out at any cute apartments or condos too. I’m going to have to get one soon. I look at the little jumper outfit in my hands, trying to picture a golden haired little girl running down the halls for me. I’ve debated on the name even after telling Nick I decided on Haven Jean Carter. This whole thing freaked me out, I mean, no one would picture me as a mother. Even asshole admitted he thought I’d abort it.
I just don’t get what is so shocking about me wanting my own child to nurture and love. Hell, I want it just like any other young woman. I wish I wasn’t fucking doing it alone, but I am, thanks to asshole and his asshole ways. What can I do? After wanting this so long, doesn’t mean I’m going to give it up. Shit that’s harder is usually worth it. What scares me more is labor, a labor I’ll be dealing with alone. My friends were all back in California. So was my mother, all I had here was Melissa, who I love dearly for being here for me, and asshole.
I felt a force crash into me as the items I was holding flew up into the air. I tried to catch em, but thanks to pregnancy it didn’t come out so well. I must have been so lost in my damn thoughts I spaced out the rest of the world. Smooth move Kayden. I bent down to pick up the stuff I dropped, feeling stupid as it was more awkward than I thought. Damn tummy. I looked up to be met with the prettiest pair of eyes I’ve seen since asshole’s. More green than blue, but they seemed to change with the light. A lithe figure, muscular in its own way. I took him in, his baby face, smooth and clear, a smile that charmed me then, thick hair, dyed black that went to about his shoulders, a little of the roots showed it to be naturally a light brown. Looking only two years older than myself, he was dressed more in that Goth style that I personally don’t get. Yet, something pulled me in, maybe how different he is from guys who’ve passed through my life, friends or more. Still, why the hell was I thinking about him this way? I’m pregnant and unmarried, not exactly attractive. For once I didn’t have a damn thing to say, I’m a journalist, and I’m supposed to be able to comment on just about anything.
He handed me my things, and shot me a grin. “Daydreaming?”
“Yeah a bit, sorry about that.”
“It’s aight, how far along are you?”
“Thirty two weeks. Trying to get some last minute shopping.”
“Me too, my younger sister Kathryn, is pregnant so I’m trying to find her something. I’m glad you’re aight though, your husband would prolly get hella pissed if I made something happen by accident.”
I smiled, feeling for the first time embarrassed about my situation. All the questions, the hype about me being pregnant in the news world, (well for a reporter I mean), and I always took in stride. Now I felt almost dirty for that damn night that started it all. Fuck a duck man. “Um…no hubby, we’ll just say big screw up.” I rubbed my stomach gently. “But I wanted the baby, she did nothing wrong. So single mom even before birth and all that.”
“Hey that’s pretty respectable right there.”
“Thanks, most don’t think that.”
He was looking at me pretty intently, and I was wondering if he found me familiar. Obviously more guys recognize me than women, because hello, I work on ESPN. “I ain’t most people.” He held out his hand to me, normal friendly gesture. “Luke Sigler.”
“Kayden Jamison.” I took his hand and shook it hard.
He laughed. “Good grip, a cute girl with some strength behind her.”
I smirked. Cute? Not in this state, not till maybe I have the baby and drop a bunch of weight. “That scare you? Or should I go scare up a Lea to defend you?”
“Oh you got Star Wars jokes, props for being a little original.”
“Hey you can’t beat those movies.” Really you can’t. Nick never understood my fascination for those movies. I’ve adored them since I was a kid.
“Agreed, so you just visiting?”
“Too far along, we can say I’m moving here for awhile.”
“Good news to hear, Tampa needs more people who aren’t on vacation, or retirement.”
It was so easy to talk to him, I couldn’t get it. “I grew up outside of here, so I get what you mean, this place is tourist central, or you get the rich snobs and crap.”
“Don’t forget the royal celebrities.”
I smirked, but shrugged, thinking of Nick. Fuck knows he fit that description, there was a time when he didn‘t, but that time was long past. I needed to forget it. “Eh, they always live on the outside anyway, we’re not good enough for them, and we let them believe that to keep them away.”
“Riiight.” Simply said, not sarcastic, just agreeing. He had a slight southern accent himself, very very subtle. I wouldn’t have noticed if I didn’t notice it on Brian every once in awhile, and learned how to hear for it.
“Southern boy right? I can hear it.”
His grin grew, nodding as one hand ran through his long hair. He had such a playful aura about his personality yet dressed so dark. Oddly enough, on my first impressions, it fit him. He grabbed up the items he dropped earlier and I swore I could feel something slip along my jeans. I glanced up at him, not sure to be irked or not cause I couldn’t tell if it happened or if I’m just paranoid. I do have a bad habit to act too damn quickly.
“We should hang when I ain’t trying to avoid Christmas shoppers.” He shot me a sly little wink, you know, the kind Howie has tried for years but never could pull off; and left through the mass crowd of Christmas shoppers. I checked my pocket, and there was a slip of paper with a phone number written along it.
I headed for the checkout line myself after tucking the number back away. I knew I couldn’t hide the smile on my face at all. It’s been some time since I felt that at ease and had a guy flirt with me. And in this condition to boot.
I love this time of year.
Bring on the candy canes bitches.
*************
Our meeting was around Howie’s kitchen table. Boy needs a new place, but he’s as bad about being cheap as Brian is about that damn waterbed. That damn waterbed that he still fucking has, that he still brags about getting for fifty bucks, ten damn years after he bought the fucking thing. I’m amazed it survived with Leighanne’s bony self sleeping in it and all. Yeah I hate the fucking Yoko; she changed Brian so damn much. She never liked me, so the shit’s mutual anyway. We were there more to discuss plans, ideas for the theme now that we have the title of the record. I knew we ain’t gonna get to any of that, cause I had to bomb them with the news of what’s been going on for the last three fucking weeks, and the days were getting closer till I became known as daddy.
Talk about a fucking head trip. I still have the headache left over from the hangover earlier. I’d be worse but I used an old recipe AJ had for that shit before he hit rehab and got sober. Thank something for herbal type shit.
“Guys, um, we gotta delay the album.” May as well get the shit out there now.
Brian was the one who gave me the first look of worry. I was pretty damn hyped about this one, so he knew the reason had to be very good or pretty damn big. “Why?”
“Because I just found out that Kayden’s having my baby and she’s gonna have it a month before release date. I hate the bitch but I ain’t gonna abandon the baby, so I gotta be there.”
“How did this happen?”
“Aww it’s time for the talk! See Howie when a man and a woman have sex it-” I felt a smack on the back of my head. Damn Puerto Rican jumping bean! “Ow!”
“You’re having a kid with Kayden? Are you fucking crazy Nick?” AJ’s hated her since day one, and yeah he’s right I am fucking crazy. Too late to stop it now. Not that I had a damn choice anyway.
“I just found out man, and I hate saying this shit but its mine, what the fuck am I supposed to do, be a worse parent than mine?”
“I think you’re doing the right thing.” Thank you Brian. There’s a reason you’re my best friend in the group. “It happened, it was a mistake, and you’re stepping up. We can delay the album if she’s due around then.”
“She is.”
“Leigh will be happy, we can plan our wedding and I can spend the holiday with her like I wanted.”
“Does Kev know?” Gee thanks Bone.
“Fuck man Kayden told him before she told me.”
“I’m not surprised; my cousin’s the same way with her the way he is with you.”
“Let’s just talk about the record guys; now that we know it’ll be delayed, it’ll give us more time to try out more of the songs we wanted to.” I love the Puerto Rican midget right now.
“Wait, Frackolas, did you tell Lisette.” Shit, that’s the damn question I didn’t want ask. Dammit Brian you’re not my friend anymore! (Shut up, I know I sound five, but fuck!)
“Heh, so about the record.”
“Fucking spitballs, you didn’t tell your own fuck buddy?”
“Jay she’s my girlfriend not my fuck buddy.”
“Bullshit.”
“She is!”
“Nick, you should tell her. The media is going to catch you soon; they follow you like white on rice more than any of us. Heck, they just now found out I’m engaged.”
“You’ll end up photographed at one of her appointments, try telling her tomorrow.”
“Yeah yeah, so about the new album. I had a new song. Wrote it for Lis, heh, she didn’t want it…thought we should try it.”
Avoidance is fucking great sometimes.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Who knew Christmas music can inspire? lol it so can. Well exams are over which depending on my crazy family, can mean more writing time. Yayness. Enjoy the chapter, and again thanks for all the feedback, it so helps me keep my muse alive. :)
