Angela’s View
I hadn’t moved, at least not much. I had heard the doorbell, but didn’t think much of it. These days, I wasn’t thinking clearly. Everything seems to just jumble together into a mass of confusion. I didn’t have the drive to keep things straight anymore.
My eyes still scanned the pictures hanging on the wall and for whatever reason, they planted on one particular picture. It stood out because of the white snow surrounding the couple standing in the picture. It stood out because of the vivid memory that accompanied it.
Without another thought, I sat up and got out of bed. Without taking my eyes off the picture, I reached up and took it off the wall, taking a seat on the bed once more. I lightly wiped away the thin layer of dust that had started to accumulate on it. I don’t know how many times a heart can break, but I seemed to be making a new record because it ached terribly. Especially now, looking at this picture, this picture of young love and of new possibilities.
It had been only a couple months since our wedding and it was only a few days before Christmas. If we were to ever designate a holiday that was ‘our’ holiday, it would be Christmas. We loved it, not only because of the presents and the lights, but because of the feelings it evoked in us and everyone around us. We loved that time of year, and we spent every moment taking it in.
One of our favorite activities around the holidays was to go driving around neighborhoods just to look at the lights. We would drive for a couple of hours searching out the best house and we’d just talk and laugh. We would be in our own world and nothing could bring us out of it. It was just the two of us, Angela and Brian, Brian and Angela, two people in love, enjoying every second spent with one another, taking advantage of the holiday spirit and strengthening our already solid relationship as both lovers and best friends.
Brian had known from past years that one particular neighborhood was my favorite. The large Victorian houses with long cobbled stoned driveways sparked a love in me that I didn’t have for any other house. He always saved going to that neighborhood last because he knew I’d enjoy it most, and I did. One particular house always stood out to me because it was the only house on the block that had large double doors, with beautiful glassed designs at the top. To me, that house was perfection, that house was ideal. I think Brian could see the way my eyes would light up when I’d see it. It was my dream home.
During such an outing, we had been out for about an hour and a half when Brian turned the car onto that particular block. I immediately perked up and I could hear him lightly chuckle.
He slowed the car so we could take in the lights and I was so wrapped up in the spectacle that I didn’t notice him beginning to turn into a driveway. I was startled out of my trance when the car jerked a bit when it came up on the sidewalk. I looked around readily, a bit confused. In front of me was the house of my dreams. The lights from within welcomed anyone who passed.
“Brian, what are you doing?” I asked as he drove up the long cobbled stoned driveway. He came to a stop about three fourths of the way up the drive and then turned off the car.
I looked from the house to Brian, who was smiling at me, “What-“
“Come,” he said, popping open the car door. The light from the overhead washed over the inside of the car, briefly hiding the darkness outside. I didn’t move but only stared as he closed the door, the light turning off. He moved around the front and to my side, opening the door.
“Come on,” he grinned, holding out his hand. I slowly put mine into his and allowed him to lead me out of the car. He closed the door behind me and led me up the drive, making sure I didn’t slip on the snow and ice. Little white snowflakes fell around us and the world seemed so quiet and serene.
I felt the urge to whisper, in case the people living in this gorgeous house before us would come out with a shotgun and blow us away, “What are we doing?”
He laughed and looked back at me, “No need to whisper love.” He stopped and looked up at the lit house, “It’s beautiful.”
I stood beside him looking up at the house as well. I sighed, “Yes, it is.”
“Wouldn’t it be great if it were ours?” he asked. I tore my eyes away from it, “Yes, Brian, it would, but we should go. We don’t know the people that live here.”
I started to turn to go back to the car but he grabbed my waist and quickly turned me towards him. I flinched when something shiny dangled in front of my face when I spun toward him. I focused on the object to find that it was a key. I looked past the key to Brian’s face, who was staring at me intently. His eyes showed anticipation and excitement.
“What’s this?” I asked, reaching up and grabbing it from his hands.
“A key.”
I rolled my eyes and playfully punched him in the stomach, “Thank you Captain Obvious.”
“It’s yours, Angela,” he said softly. I looked up at him after fiddling with the key in my hands, “What is?”
He didn’t say a word, but only looked at the house and then back to me. Still a bit confused, I stood there for a moment until it hit me. I was completely speechless, “W-what?”
“It came on the market about six months ago and I just so happened to be the highest bidder.”
I shook my head, “I don’t understand. There are lights on-“
“They’re timed. It’s a security thing.”
“But-“
He gently grabbed my arms and looked me square in the eye, “Angela, I bought this for you. I see the way you look at it, I never see you look at anything the way you look at this. Not even me.”
“That’s not true,” I said. He smiled, “Okay, maybe not, but it’s clear that this house brings you joy, and whatever makes you happy, makes me happy. I want to raise a family with you in this house.”
I looked up at him speechless. Just when I thought I couldn’t love this man anymore, I did. My heart felt like bursting and my emotions went crazy. A couple of tears escaped my eyes and he quickly wiped them away with his thumbs. How is he always there to wipe them away? I stood on my toes and kissed him softly on the lips, wrapping my arms around his neck. He readily kissed me back.
“Why are you so good to me?” I asked softly as we pulled away. He reached up and tucked a bit of hair behind my ears, “I love you silly, that’s why.”
I kissed him once more, “I love you, too.”
I then looked up at the house again and a squeal escaped my lips. Brian laughed as I jumped up and down, “It’s ours!”
I saw him quickly run behind me to the car. I didn’t pay too much attention because I was trying to take in the beauty of it and the happiness of the situation. I heard him come back but then the sound of metal drew me to look at him. He was setting up a camera stand. I laughed, “What in the world are you doing?”
“What’s it look like? I want a picture of this moment,” he said, setting the camera in its place. He fiddled with a couple of buttons and then ran over to me. He pulled me to him close, his arms tightly around me. My head rested on his chest, his head rested on top of mine. He quickly kissed the top of my head and then a second later the flash went off, blinding us temporarily.
“There, quick and painless,” he said.
“We’re going to have a million babies in this house,” I said, looking up at him. He laughed whole heartedly, “A million huh? We might have to narrow it down to a hundred or so.”
“I guess I could live with that.”
He grinned and leaned in to kiss me once more. Besides my wedding night, that was one of the best nights of my life. I stared down at the picture, once again crying. Those two people holding each other tightly, smiling widely at the camera didn’t exist anymore.
Life can be so incredibly cruel. Who knew that the woman standing in that picture would be in the state that she was now. It seems like a horrible joke gone wrong. I looked up, sniffling, trying to wipe the tears away. I looked around the quiet room feeling more alone then I had felt this entire time. Here I am, in the house of my dreams, but instead of happiness, there’s sadness. Unlike that picture, he’s not here holding me, kissing me. He’s not here with me, and somehow that’s the worst part of it all.
