Angela’s View
I set the Christmas photo aside and looked up at the wall of pictures once again. One in particular made me nauseous just glancing at it. Not because it was a gross picture or because it evoked anger, but because the hurt that accompanied it made my stomach churn uneasily.
I bravely got off the bed once more and grabbed the picture off the wall, returning to the edge to sit down. I once again wiped the thin film of dust away to get a clearer view of it. Why had I left this picture up? Why did Brian? Was it because we were so wrapped up in what was occurring that we didn’t stop to look at the world around us?
It was a side view of both Brian and I. We had been in the kitchen getting ready for dinner when it was taken by surprise. Melissa had walked in without us noticing and she had quickly snapped the scene in front of her. From the first time I saw how it turned out, I fell in love with it. It was my favorite picture because it was so pure and so innocent. It wasn’t staged or reenacted. It was so incredibly real.
We were standing in the kitchen like I had said, right in front of the double glass doors that led to the backyard. The sun was setting outside so an assortment of pastel colors decorated the sky. I was standing there, looking down at Brian with a small smile on my face, my hands covering his as they rested on my stomach. Brian was kneeling, but not looking up at me. He was leaned in, gently kissing my round growing belly.
I remember when I had first told him we were having a baby. I had been feeling ill for about a week or so, getting nauseous randomly and having to throw up. I began to suspect that it wasn’t just a cold, but something more. We had been trying for a baby, so maybe it was finally our time. I had gone to the store to get a test and found it to be positive. I was anxious and excited. I had the biggest urge to call him at work but I knew he would want to hear it in person so that we could celebrate together. So I sat in the living room and waited.
A Year and a Half Earlier
I sat on the living room couch, fiddling with the pregnancy test in my hands. My hands were shaking slightly from the excitement. I glanced at the clock for the hundredth time in the past ten minutes. Time seemed to be crawling by, but Brian was due to be home any minute.
My heart started to beat a bit faster when I heard his car pull up outside and his door slam. I quickly got off the couch and made my way to the entrance of the living room. I stood there, the stick still in my hands. My heart was racing and my hands were clammy. I quickly put the stick in my pocket to bring it out at the perfect moment. Brian came in, shaking the snow off his coat, setting down his briefcase. He looked up and seemed a bit surprised to see me.
“Hey baby,” he greeted, taking off his coat and hanging it on the hanger next to the other coats. I smiled at him. Why am I so nervous?
He came up and gave me a quick kiss on the mouth.
“It’s lovely coming home to see you right away. I usually have to hunt you down somewhere in the house,” he laughed. I only smiled at him lightly, biting my lip. His smile faded as he noticed my antsy nature, “Everything okay?”
His hand lightly rubbed my upper arm. I tried to find the right words to say, “Everything’s fine.”
“You sure? You seem…” he couldn’t seem to figure the word to describe my countenance.
I nodded. He smiled then and kissed me once again, “Alright, well, do you want a drink?”
He asked, beginning to make his way past me to the kitchen. I followed suit, “No, I’m okay.”
I watched as he opened the refrigerator and grabbed out a beer. He quickly twisted off the top and took a sip, looking up at me. He became puzzled once more, “Angie, honey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” I said. He set down his beer and he came up to me, resting his hands on my arms, “Something’s up. You’re acting funny.”
I licked my lips, “It’s just…” I paused to figure out what to say and finally deciding that I couldn’t say anything to clearly explain the situation without sounding completely foolish, I reached into my pocket and slid out the pregnancy test. He was still looking at me a bit worried but his eyes quickly transferred from my face to the object in my hands. His eyebrows rose then, “Is that… is that what I think it is?”
I nodded, beginning to smile.
“Is it positive?” he asked softly. I nodded once again, “We’re pregnant.”
“Angela, this is fantastic!” He exclaimed, wrapping me up in a hug, lifting me off the ground. He set me down and looked at me eagerly, “I’m going to be a daddy?”
I laughed a bit, “You’re going to be a daddy.”
He stepped back and ran his hands through his hair, the smile growing larger by the second, “I don’t know what to say.”
I approached him, resting my hands on either side of his torso, “You don’t have to say anything.”
He looked down at me, the smile still there, not saying anything for a moment. He kissed my forehead and then rested his hand on my stomach. I quickly put one hand over his and squeezed.
“I love you, so much,” he said softly. I only smiled back at him. He then said softly, “We’re finally starting our family.”
Present Day
I glanced down at the picture, clearly remembering that time in our lives, and felt my lip begin to tremble. This was taken only three weeks before both our worlds had fallen apart.
