I could hold you forever
I could hold you in my arms, Oh
I could hold you forever
~Hold You In My Arms by Ray LaMontagne
Brian hummed to himself, strumming his guitar lightly, testing different chords and combinations. He occasionally leaned forward to write something down in his notebook, and then put the pencil back in his mouth, to strum out a few more chords.
He glanced at his notebook, satisfied that he had a good chunk of a beginning of a song. He spit the pencil out of his mouth and began strumming his guitar at the speed he thought appropriate, singing the words softly to himself. He smiled when he got to the end of what he had, and then looked up startled when he heard a sweet voice that haunted his dreams, “You sing like an angel, have I ever told you that?”
He grinned to see Leslie standing there, a pair of low rise jeans clinging tightly to her toned body, a light pink tank top cami only making her sexier than she already was. Her hair was pulled up in a high ponytail, a few tendrils falling away that rested against her beautiful face. She smiled back at him.
“You look like an angel, have I ever told you that?”
She bit her lip, unable to contain her huge grin. She stepped forward and took a seat cross-legged on the carpet in front of him. She looked up at him on the couch, his guitar still in his lap, “Why is it I always find your door opened slightly?”
“Cause I’m always hoping you’d walk through it at some point,” he said honestly.
She blushed and he leaned forward, waiting for her to fill the gap. She leaned forward as well, fully accepting his kiss.
She breathed out happily, leaning back against the coffee table, “I’m sorry I haven’t come in a couple days.”
“Baby, you don’t need to apologize. Only makes when I do see you that much sweeter.”
She smiled lightly, still feeling the need to explain, “Nick’s been energetic lately, wanting to go out and all that. Hasn’t really left me enough time.”
Brian nodded, staring down at her as she spoke, wanting so much to bring her into his arms, to touch her soft skin, and kiss her beautiful lips. Though it has been a couple days since they’ve been able to see each other privately, he had missed her all the same.
“We’re in Paris, can’t blame him for wanting to take you out to explore,” Brian admitted, looking down at his guitar as he positioned his fingers over the chords. He had avoided eye contact with his last statement, knowing the hurt inside him would clearly be shown to her. Around other people, it was easy to hide his emotions, but with Leslie, everything was always displayed for the world to see.
He strummed out a few chords until Leslie put her hand against his for him to stop. He looked up and saw her looking at him sadly. His heart melted at the sight of her.
“I missed you love,” she cooed.
The words he had been wanting to hear finally escaped her lips and his whole body relaxed, “I missed you too.”
She licked her lips and removed her hand away from his, but he made no move to play again. Staring down at her, he knew she was thinking the same thing as him. How could they miss each other so much by just being apart for only a small amount of time?
Brian spoke up, “It’s early. Where’s Nick?”
Now it was Leslie avoiding eye contact. She shook her head, finding a spot on the carpet that seemed a bit too interesting to stare at, “Needed space.”
“Space?” I asked, confused at her choice of words.
She looked up at him, her eyes full of sadness, “Well, I needed space.”
Brian furrowed his eyebrow, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing major, we just…” she sighed, “We got in a fight this morning.”
Brian’s heart skipped in his chest, “Over what?”
“He surprised me this morning with two tickets to Figi,” she stated. Brian’s confusion intensified, wondering how on earth a fight could result from a seemingly romantic act. She saw this on his face and continued, “For Christmas.”
“Wait, what? Christmas? I thought you guys were going to Denver.”
“I thought so too,” she said quietly.
Brian shook his head in amazement, “Leslie, doesn’t he know how much going to Denver means to you?”
She shrugged, “I don’t know.”
“He has to. If he knows you at all, he has to,” Brian stated incredulously.
Leslie looked up into his eyes, seeing the concern and love festering deep within, “He got defensive when I wasn’t jumping for joy, and I got angry and frustrated because he acted like Colorado was just a small suggestion, and not a done deal. He said he wanted to go somewhere ‘fun’.”
Brian felt anger rise from his stomach. He sat there, not knowing what to say. She continued softly, “We’ve never yelled at each other like that before.”
Brian sighed, not wanting to upset her, “Are you okay?”
She nodded, trying to smile up at him, “I’m here with you aren’t I? I’m better than okay.”
As much as he wanted to accept those words without any doubt, he couldn’t. He knew that her fight with Nick hurt her, and as a result, it hurt him. But at the same time, he knew that she wouldn’t be here unless she thought he could make her feel better.
She cleared her throat, attempting to change the subject, “You know, you’ve never sang to me before.”
Brian smirked, “Neither have you.”
She smiled, “That’s different. I can’t sing.”
“And I can?” he asked, raising his eyebrows playfully.
She rolled her eyes, but humored him all the same, “Beautifully.”
He looked down at her, their eyes locking, sending a wave of shivers to pass through both of them.
“You know Leslie, you just have to ask me, and I’ll do anything for you,” he said quietly.
She looked shocked for a moment, not expecting those words. She looked down at her hands for a moment, and Brian continued to stare at her, unable to tear his eyes away from the woman that radiated such life and beauty. When she looked back up at him, her eyes were stinging with tears, and she stated something he himself wasn’t expecting, “I know.”
He smiled lightly at her and she returned it, “Will you sing to me?”
He nodded once, his heart fluttering in his chest at her very presence, before he turned to his guitar, positioning it comfortably within his arms. He positioned his fingers over the chords and then began to strum softly.
Leslie sat there on the floor, looking up at this wonderful, handsome, caring man that was stealing her heart away. She watched as he strummed, her body relaxing and yet her heart swelling with happiness.
After a few moments, Brian began to sing gently, looking into Leslie’s eyes, “When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions / My worried mind that you quiet / Place your hands on my face / Close my eyes and say / Love is a poor man’s food / Don’t prophesize.”
He looked at her with such intensity but with also softness, pouring his heart into his words, “I could hold you in my arms / I could hold you forever / I could hold you in my arms, Oh / I could hold you forever.”
He turned his attention back to his guitar, strumming the strings with such purpose. Leslie looked up at him with wonder, “So now we see how it is / This fist begets the spear / Weapons of war / Symptoms of madness / Don't let your eyes refuse to see / Don't let your ears refuse to hear / Or you ain't never going to shake this sense of sadness.”
He looked back up into her eyes then, and her breath caught in her throat, unable to tear her eyes away from his bright blue ones, “I could hold you in my arms / I could hold on forever / And I could hold you in my arms, Oh / I could hold on forever…”
He slowly stopped strumming, continuing to lock his eyes with hers. He smiled lightly at the last chord, waiting for Leslie to respond. She was feeling a little hot under the collar, moved and aroused by his voice and his talent. She struggled to find words to describe how she felt and wished to say, and ultimately failed. Instead, she had a better idea.
Brian watched as a sly smile crossed her face and she began to slowly and smoothly get up from the carpet. He stared at her, wondering what she was doing, unable to shake the worry that she was leaving. But then she gently reached down and grabbed his guitar, and he allowed it to be taken and set on top of the coffee table. He held his arms open as she crawled into his lap, her fingers finding and locking with his. He looked at her with wonder, unable to contain how happy he felt. She smiled at him and leaned in, kissing him softly, letting his tongue massage hers, his lips move tenderly against her lips.
She unlocked her hands from his and wrapped them around his neck, hugging him closely as they kissed. His hands ran over her back, the thin fabric of her cami allowing her warmth to reach him. He pulled her closer, squeezing her gently. He let his hands roam over her curves, their kiss deepening by the second.
She finally pulled back, the smile still displayed on her face. She still didn’t say anything and Brian laughed lightly, “I’m assuming you liked it?”
“Very much,” she replied, her hands grazing the contours of his chest through his shirt.
“How ‘bout an encore?” he asked softly.
She bit her lip, kissing him once again. She nodded against his lips, and in return, he tightened his grip on her. He slid his feet out from under him, never parting from her as he got up off the couch, holding her as her legs gripped around him. He walked over to the bed, lying her down gently. She got up on her knees as he crawled up on the bed, finally stopping and positioning himself on his knees as he faced her.
He reached up and cupped her face, bringing her lips to his once more. She kissed back, her hands finding the bottom of his shirt, yanking up on it. He pulled back and allowed her to shed it from his body. Her fingers tenderly touched his skin, running over his muscled physique.
He saw her staring at a well known spot on his chest, her fingers delicately touching his scar. He looked down to his scar and where her fingers so gently touched, and then back up at her, their eyes locking. Without saying anything, she leaned forward, pressing soft kisses down the length of his scar. He closed his eyes, swallowing hard, allowing her to do the one thing he always told Leighanne not to do. With Leslie, he loved how it felt. With her, he felt safe.
She kissed her way up his chest, to his neck, to finally his lips again. He pulled her to him close, his fingers tugging at her tank top. She pulled back, yanking up at her top and tossing it to the side. She immediately reached back and unsnapped her bra, letting it fall from her. He grabbed it and pulled the rest of it away from her, discarding it immediately. His hands slid over her stomach to her breasts, her nipples hardening as his fingers brushed against them. He grabbed her and she arched her back, letting his mouth brush across her upper chest before his tongue found his way lower, taking her right nipple into his mouth. He twirled his tongue around it, his other hand massaging her other breast. She put her hand over his, a moan escaping her throat.
He continued with this technique as he slowly lowered her back against the bed, letting her legs wrap around him. She suddenly grabbed his head, forcing his lips to come back to hers. He felt her hips grind against his as theirs mouths enveloped one another.
His hands ran down her sides and he pushed himself up, fiddling with the front of her jeans. In return, her hands fiddled with the front of his. He succeeded first, stripping them away from her body, before he aided her, shedding his jeans as well. He lied down on top of her once more, enjoying her body underneath his, her hands sending shivers down his spine.
She raised her legs towards her chest, her toes snatching at his boxers, their lips never parting from one another. She pushed her legs down, the cloth held between her toes. He found his boxers being slid down his body and he smiled against her mouth, “Creative aren’t we?”
She looked up at him innocently and he pulled back, getting rid of his unwanted briefs before sliding his hands up her long, tan, toned legs. He grabbed her lacey boy shorts and pulled them slowly off of her body. She squirmed and he looked up into her eyes, finding her staring down at him with anticipation. He smiled at her, finally throwing her panties to the side before he slid his body back up hers, her legs wrapping around him.
He kissed her gently and then stared into her eyes, reaching up and moving a tendril of hair away from her face. She looked back up at him, searching his face.
“You’re so beautiful Leslie,” he breathed out. “You’re like a dream…”
She shook her head, her fingers running through his hair, “No, Bri-“
He silenced her protests with another kiss, and she gave into him, her body relaxing underneath him. His hands moved down her body to her thighs, where he gently pushed her legs up to gain him perfect access. He wasted no more time, feeling her body lift and press into his, anticipating, waiting.
With ease, he slid into her. She gasped against his lips, pulling away to look up at him. He had closed his eyes, letting her warmth envelope him. He had nearly forgotten how good and right she felt. He slowly opened them and stared down at her, moving his hips once more. Out, in.
She closed her eyes, her right hand gripping the sheets around them as he thrust again, and again, and again. Moans erupted within both of them, Brian nuzzling Leslie’s neck as he worked. He reached down, pushing her leg out and up, diving deep within her. She called out, tightening her other leg around him, squeezing. He groaned, finding her lips again. She could barely concentrate, pulling away from his lips, cocking her head back as he glided in and out of her, again, again, again, and again. In, out, in, out, in, out.
She bit her lip, moving her body with his, urging him to go deeper. Brian sped up his pace, their bodies beginning to glisten from their passion.
She deeply moaned, “Brian”, which made him speed up more, made him slide in and out of her harder. He could vaguely hear the trees rustling outside or the creaking of the bed as they moved, for Leslie’s moans of ecstasy filled the room, fueling him further. Thrusting again, and again, and again. Breathing heavy, bodies hot, bodies glistening. Hot, heavy.
Brian got lost in her, as she got lost in him. It had been over a week since their last and first encounter, but it had been overdue. Their bodies were so in sync with one another that even through their heated pleasure, they were amazed and astounded at their compatibility. It was hard to describe what they felt, but in as little words in possible, they fit.
“Please,” Leslie moaned loudly. “Don’t stop. Harder, please harder.”
Brian obliged, lifting slightly to get better leverage. He supported himself with one arm on the bed, as his right hand slid under her back, lifting her slightly. Harder, faster, again, again, and again.
He felt himself reaching his peak but held on, waiting for her. Her hands covered her face, her moans unable to be contained, “Oh God.”
“Oh God,” Brian groaned back, “Leslie.”
He felt her walls tighten around him. She had given herself completely to him, her body trembling as she climaxed, her voice filling the room, calling out in pure ecstasy. Brian, breathing heavily, collapsed on top of her, releasing his desire, his body too shaking. Their chests rose and fell heavily, Brian resting his head against her chest, her rapid heart beat reaching his ears. He swallowed, trying to catch his breath. He slid off of her, immediately slipping his arm around her and pulling her to him close. He kissed the top of her head and she relaxed into him, snuggling close, resting her head on his chest.
“That was incredible,” she breathed out. Brian swallowed again, laughing lightly, unable to believe that what just happened felt like their first time all over again, their emotions and feelings still as strong.
She turned her head up to look at him and he leaned down, kissing her lips gently, “I’m a man of many talents.”
She laughed, slapping his stomach lightly, “Way to ruin the mood Littrell.”
He squeezed her, tickling her sides slightly. She squirmed and they both laughed. He then stated sincerely, “It was perfect.”
She reached up and kissed him again, flipping over his body to straddle him. He grinned up at her, fully accepting what she had planned.
They spent the rest of the afternoon, not having sex persay, because it wasn’t just sex with them, but making love. They made love twice more before drifting off to sleep. At least, Leslie slept. Brian couldn’t. How could he? He was so overcome with joy to finally have her lying there beside him. He always wondered what it would be like for them to sleep side by side, to know that she was there for him to reach out and hold. And hold her he did. He never realized that she slept so soundly, so peacefully.
They had been facing each other, and he searched her face, taking in every line and curve, every freckle, every perfection. He would lean in occasionally, kissing her gently, being sure not to wake her up. In time, she had flipped over in her sleep, and without hesitation, he slid his arm around her waist, snuggling up close to her back. He rest his head in her neck, closing his eyes and breathing in. After only a moment, he drifted into sleep, his whole body relaxing when it came in contact with hers.
And there they lay, Brian holding her in his arms, wanting to hold on forever.
Leslie walked down the hallway, unknowingly smiling to herself. She had woken up in Brian’s arms, loving how safe and warm she felt pressed up against him. She could tell that he was sleeping soundly, his breathing steady, his chest rising and falling against her back. She had glanced up at the bedside clock, shocked to see that it was already 7 in the evening. She had been with Brian for 7 hours and yet it only felt like she had just gotten there.
She had gently reached down and picked up Brian’s arm, sliding out from under him slowly and carefully. He had stirred but did not awaken, to her relief. She got off the bed, beginning to gather her clothes that were thrown about the room.
She padded toward the couch, reaching for her purse. She dug through it, pulling out her cell phone, immediately noticing the 8 Missed Calls. She sighed, flipping open her phone to see that all 8 were from Nick.
She looked back at Brian’s sleeping figure sadly. Nick hadn’t left any messages, which she knew he wouldn’t. He wanted to talk to her personally and not say what he needed to say to a voicemail.
She quietly slipped on her clothes and made her way around the bed. She bent down and kissed Brian’s cheek. He stirred and rolled on his back, looking up at her through sleepy eyes.
“Hey love,” she cooed.
He smiled and she leaned down and pressed her lips against his, “I have to go.”
He had nodded, looking at her with understanding, yet reluctance. She had promised him that she would see him the next night and with those words, he let her go, more relieved than he had been.
Now here she was, walking through the hall in a daze, lost in thoughts of Brian, in thoughts of his kisses.
“Hey baby girl,” AJ and Howie walked down the hall towards her and she stopped, looking up at them a bit in confusion at first. They were both carrying bags and the smell of food wafted from them. Howie raised his bag, “We went and got Chinese food, want some? We got enough to feed an army.”
Leslie shook her head, though her stomach grumbled when he had said Chinese food, “No thanks guys.”
“You okay?” AJ asked. She looked at him puzzled, “Do I not look okay?”
“You look amazing actually, just a bit disheveled,” Howie noted.
“Disheveled?” she asked, raising her hands to touch her hair.
“You’re working that sex hair girl,” AJ teased.
Leslie tugged at her ponytail, allowing her locks to fall over her shoulders. She ran her fingers through it, trying not to act so obvious. She lied, “I fell asleep in the girls’ room. We were watching TV.”
He knew that the girls’ room meant the girl dancers, and both him and Howie nodded. Howie joked, “Must have been a pretty boring show.”
“You know it,” she smiled. “But I should get going. Enjoy dinner.”
They waved as she made her way back down the hall, rounding the corner before coming to her and Nick’s room. She had forgotten about her and Nick’s fight, until now. As she dug through her purse for the key, all memories of that morning rushed back to her. Nick had walked out on her, completely exasperated with the situation. Nine hours later, he was bound to be back.
She slid the key in the door and waited for the green light to blink before she pushed it open. She immediately noticed that the lights were off, but a faint glow was coming from in front of her. She closed the door and set her purse to the side, tentatively walking into the room, noticing the lit candles spread out.
The suite’s chairs and couch were swept off to the side and in their place sat a small table, decorated with fine china, candles, and red rose pedals. She stopped in her tracks, staring at this display, unsure of what was happening. She turned when Nick’s voice broke through the silent room, saying her name. He stood by the bathroom entrance wearing a nice baby blue button down shirt and a pair of black slacks. He held a single red rose in his hands, and he looked at her sadly.
“Nick-“ she began, turning back to the table.
“I’m sorry,” he said, approaching her. “I’m sorry for acting like a jerk this morning. I’m sorry for not listening to you. I’m sorry for yelling at you. I’m sorry for walking out on you. I’m sorry, for everything.”
She looked up into his big blue eyes. His voice was sincere and hopeful. She sighed, grabbing the flower he held out to her.
“Nick, you didn’t have to do this,” she said quietly.
“I did though Leslie. To prove to you that I’m sorry. To prove to you that I care.”
“You don’t have to prove anything Nick,” she sighed. She was silent for a moment and he watched her, waiting. She opened her mouth to speak once more, “This is very sweet of you.”
She moved towards him and he immediately wrapped his arms around her. He hugged her to him closely, grateful that she was here once again. He knew that she was angry as hell with him and he only made it worse by acting like an immature idiot. He had called her constantly, not expecting her to answer, but hoping all the same. He didn’t know what else to do, but surprise her with a dinner, to soften the animosity between them both.
He pulled back and looked down at her, “We can go to Colorado for Christmas.”
“But do you want to Nick? Because I don’t want to go some place you don’t want to be.”
“No, I do want to go Leslie. I know it means a lot to you. It was just a lapse of judgment on my part to buy those tickets. I want to go, I swear.”
She searched his face, not completely sure on the truth in those words. Was he really telling the truth or was he just saying it to appease her so she wouldn’t be angry anymore? She wasn’t even that angry, just hurt.
She decided not to push the subject, not having the energy or the desire to argue anymore. The fact was he set up a romantic dinner, and with her long afternoon with Brian, she was in no place to call him out on anything, when she herself was guilty of other things. Worse things.
She nodded as a way to let him know that she was over everything and he smiled, leaning down to kiss her gently. He pulled back and grabbed her hand, leading her to the table, “You hungry for Mexican?”
She looked at him oddly, “We’re in France. They don’t even know what Mexican food is. How did you get it?”
“I pulled a few strings, printed out a few recipes for the cooks downstairs. They thought I was crazy, but I wasn’t about to let them tell me no. I know it’s your favorite food.”
She smiled, touched at the lengths he went for her. She reached up and kissed him lightly, “Thank you Nicky.”
“I love you,” he replied, squeezing her hand.
She stopped, unprepared for his words. She licked her lips before she responded, “I love you too.”
He smiled lightly at her before he led her to her chair, pushing her in before he himself sat down. They spent the rest of the night talking, and when Nick made a move to intensify their evening, he was surprised at being turned down, saying she was too tired. He had nodded all the same, believing her exhaustion when she hit the sheets, immediately falling asleep. For this reason, he felt no bitterness or worry. He only thought that she was exhausted from their day, of her worrying, sadness, and anger. If he had only known she was exhausted for reasons entirely separate from those. But, as the saying goes, what he doesn’t know, won’t hurt him.
But then again, it was only a matter of time before he did know, before he did get hurt.
