“Nick, I am not going out with you looking like that.”
“Looking like what? We’re going to work out dude, you didn’t expect to see me in a freaking tux did you?”
“I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about that shit on your head.”
“That shit on my head that you’re talking about is called a beanie. And they thought I was the stupid one.”
“I know a beanie when I see one, and that’s no fucking beanie.”
“Why do you want me to take it off so bad?”
“Because you look like a walking condom.”
“You’re an asshole.”
“I’m just trying to save you from public humiliation, but hey if you wanna go out there looking like a giant condom, then by all means lets go! Just walk behind me at all times so it doesn’t look like we’re associated with one another.”
“You sure you want this giant condom to walk behind you?”
“…. you’re disgusting.”
“No, I just have a sense of humor.”
“Then you have a twisted sense of humor.”
“Humor nonetheless.”
“Whatever dude.”
“So, what made you decide that we needed to work out?”
“What?”
“Well, it’s not like you to just roll outta bed one day and be like ‘I wanna work out, and I think I’ll drag Nick along with me’ now is it?”
“You’re right, that isn’t me… and I didn’t decide on this.”
“Then what the hell are we doing?”
“You’re not suppose to know this, but Kevin wants all of us, as in me, him, Brian and Howie to start working out with you.”
“Why just me? Why is everyone so determined to get me to lose weight?”
“I don’t know. But he says it’s a start of a healthy lifestyle for all of us. Just, whatever you do, don’t tell him I told you that.”
“You were never good at keeping secrets.”
“Still ain’t.”
“Some things will never change.”
“You can say that again.”
“Some things will never change.”
“… dude, what the hell? How blond are you?”
“You told me I could say that again, and I did.”
“I didn’t actually mean it.”
“And why do you automatically have to attack my blondness for it?”
“It helps me to understand your IQ and how capable you are for being stupid. Which, by the way, I hope you know that wearing that damn condom on your head isn’t hiding your blond from anyone.”
“It’s a beanie.”
“Okay, whatever Nick.”
“…. dude, where the hell are we going?”
“Where does it look like we’re going?”
“A gas station.”
“Nick, sometimes you just blow me away with how smart you really are. I’ll make sure to tell Kevin to give you a gold star when we get back.”
“You drag me out here to come with you to buy a damn pack of cigarettes?”
“Um, you didn’t really expect me to take you to the gym to workout did you?”
“Well, I would guess so since Kevin told you to.”
“He told me to bring you out so we could workout, he didn’t say how to go about it.”
“So, walking out to a damn gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes was a workout?”
“Believe it or not Carter, yes it was. We walked and it was a cardio workout.”
“So that was our workout?”
“Yep.”
“… I can’t believe it.”
“I won’t tell if you won’t tell.”
“… some things will never change.”
“I guess not.”
“You’re still an asshole.”
“Yep, the coolest asshole you’ll ever know.”
