She kept stumbling over her words, back tracking, apologising but not telling him when this had happened or why she had kept it from him for so long, and he was getting impatient, it couldn’t be that hard. She had to have a reason for doing this.
“Shannon all I want to know is when this happened and why you lied to me,” he said cutting her off mid ramble.
“What do you mean when this happened? You were there Nick,” she said throwing daggers his way and he guessed he deserved them, after all it had only been the once.
March 2007
“I should go,” she said through a yawn before she stood up to stretch.
“No stay here,” he said pulling her leg making her fall back into the couch and land on him with an “Omph.”
“Why?” she asked, not moving from where she had fallen, she liked the closeness as he wrapped his arms around her back.
“Because I’ll be lonely otherwise,” he pouted.
“But I have work in the morning,” she told him, making her self move so she could sit next to him and not on him, god it was so hard to pull away from him.
“So go from here, I’m closer to the hospital anyway so you’ll get to sleep in a bit more,” he reminded her adding a smile. She had to leave, if she didn’t leave she didn’t know whether she would be able to contain her feelings for him, she knew he didn’t feel the same and she couldn’t bare the thought of loosing her best friend.
“No I have paperwork I have to take in tomorrow, and I need to go home and be by myself at some point,” she sighed standing up.
“Forget about him Shan, he was a jerk,” he said referring to her break up with Matt. She was surprised that Nick hadn’t yet made the connection, every time he broke up with someone she would do the same, just in case something could happen but every time he found someone else, forcing her to as well.
“I know that,” she said heading towards the door as he got up to follow her so he could see her out.
“Hey you busy Saturday? I was thinking about taking the boat out,” he said handing her the jacket she had been in when she first arrived.
“Sure sounds like a plan, I’ll call you on Friday,” she said leaning in to give him a peck on the cheek before she turned to leave.
***
She didn’t know how it had happened, but he had insinuated it and she knew that she was enjoying it. She sighed when he pulled back from the kiss and closed her eyes in pleasure when he started trailing kisses down her neck, his hands stroking a path down her clothed body, till he found the end of her tank top. He pushed his hand up it tickling her stomach, making her squirm before he ran his hands over her bra.
“Nick,” she sighed when he ran his thumbs over her already hard nipples, making her shiver. He smirked up at her before she started to remove her top and his. His lips found there way to her boobs, kissing them through the lacy fabric of her black bra, making her moan above him.
Moments later she found herself conscious of his gaze when he had stripped her off fully. He rose to his knees above her removing what was left of his clothes, all the while looking down at her, smiling at her.
“Your gorgeous,” he whispered returning to rest on top of her. She returned his smile, wrapping her hands in his hair as she bought his lips down to hers.
It was slow and sensual, like nothing she had felt before. Whether it was because of her first experience of sex out in the open, out on the water or whether it was because it was with him she didn’t know. She knew though that she would never again experience anything like it with another, that for her this was it, she had finally found her other half, the person she was meant to be with and he had finally realised it too.
I call you up whenever things go wrong.
You're always there. You are my shoulder to cry on.
I can't believe it took me quite so long.
To take the forbidden step.
Is this something that I might regret?
I thought that we would just be friends.
Things will never be the same again.
It's just the beginning it's not the end.
Things will never be the same again.
It's not a secret anymore.
Now we've opened up the door.
Starting tonight and from now on.
We'll never, never be the same again.
Never be the same again.
Now I know that we were close before.
I'm glad I realised I need you so much more.
And I don't care what everyone will say.
It's about you and me.
And we'll never be the same again.
(Come on, come on)
Things will never be the same again.
(You are the one)
Never be the same again.
It's not a secret anymore.
We'll never be the same again.
It's not a secret anymore.
We'll never be the same again.
Never be the same again.
Never be the same again.
Never be the same again.
Never be the same again.
***
The sun on his back started to burn at his bare skin and that’s when he knew that he was going to have to move. He sighed at the thought, not yet wanting to get up but he knew from experience that lobster red skin felt as good as it looked.
When he opened his eyes he remembered what had occurred the night before. She was still sleeping, a blanket draped across what could only be her naked body, her dark hair, which had fallen from her ponytail the night before, hiding her face while she slept soundly.
He sighed again for totally different reasons. Last night shouldn’t have happened, yes he had always had feelings for her, ever since they had first met but he had been good until now. She was an amazing friend, one that he couldn’t afford to loose, and he feared that by taking the relationship to another level would do just that, just like all other relationships he had with women, it would all come crumbling down in the end.
He could not let that happen. He didn’t know what he had been thinking, maybe it was the break up with Julie, and the fact that she had just broken up with Matt, they were both still venerable from their failed relationships. In there wounded states they had done what friends do best, turn to each other for comfort, it had just gotten out of hand. That was all it was, he knew she didn’t feel about him the way he felt about her, he would get over this and move on, he thought as he pulled in his shorts and walked over to the helm of the boat so he could steer them both back to shore.
She had felt him move away from her and thought that he might have been going to make them breakfast but when she heard and felt the boat’s engine rumble to life, she knew that he didn’t feel the same way she did, that to him last night had been a mistake.
Now she would have to suffer the awkwardness of the morning after, a memory she did not want to have with Nick but she also did not want him to know about how she felt, she was going to have to play it off, agree with him, last night had been a mistake, they had both been venerable. After all it was better to have him in her life as a friend then not at all.
She was able to gather her emotions before she sat up slowly, so the blanket covering her would remain where it was, she felt around for her clothes and pulled on her underwear quickly before placing the rest of the items on. When she was fully dressed in her shorts and bikini top from the day before she set about gathering together the blankets that had been their makeshift bed the night before.
When she had competed that she had nothing left to do but go to him, to make that awkward small talk that she was dreading but she only had twenty minutes max left with him, after that she could make her excuses, go home and cry.
“Hey,” she smiled across to him.
“Hi,” he smiled back shyly, “You uh…sleep okay?” He asked, looking back to the expanse of crystal blue water in front of them.
“Yeah you?” She asked back when she was to scared to bring up the event that had occurred but could think of nothing better to say.
“Yeah good, I…uh last night,” he mumbled awkwardly.
“You don’t have to say anything Nick, last night was a mistake. We were both down and just wanted some closeness,” she shrugged, maybe nursing had been the wrong choice, with a performance like this she should have been an actress.
He didn’t know what to say to that, he wanted to tell her how he really felt, that he wanted her to be more then just a friend but her answer was a warning to him, if he said something and she didn’t reciprocate then their friendship would be ruined and he couldn’t loose her like that. Having her as a friend was better then nothing after all.
“This isn’t going to make it awkward between us is it?” He asked.
“No your still my bestest bud and you always will be, we were just about seven years to early on out pact” she said kissing his cheek.
“Hey at least we know what to expect in seven years if neither of us are married,” he joked wrapping his arm around her.
For you I was a flame,
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came,
Love is losing game
One I wish I never played,
Oh, what a mess we made
And now the final frame,
Love is a losing game
Played out by the band,
Love is a losing hand
More than I could stand,
Love is a losing hand
Mel C Feat Left Eye - Never Be the Same Again
Amy WineHouse - Love is a Losing Game
Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay so this really will be it for a week! I have a hectic weeek full of study days and then I am off for a girlie weekend so my next update will be next Monday at the earliest!
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
