But back to my throbbing chest, why did it feel like this? It was so terrible it had caused me to wake up. I sat up and placed my hand over my heart, trying to put a little pressure to see if it hurt. It sent a shooting pain through my chest and then I began to feel a little lightheaded. I stood to my feet and tried to adjust my eyes to the dark room, managing to shuffle my feet towards Nick’s room. I knew this would be awkward, but I really thought something might be wrong.
I opened his door to a crack, to see only blonde spiky hair sticking out from under the comforter. Trying to push the pain to the back of my chest I walked over and shook him gently. “Nick,” I whispered, trying not to startle him even though I knew he was a deep sleeper. “Nick, wake up.” I mumbled. I sat down on the edge of his bed, not feeling enough strength to stand up.
He moaned and groaned some, trying to turn over in his sleep, not wanting to listen to me. I closed my eyes momentarily, feeling the sting of tears filling them slowly. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but I knew it had to be bad. I was scared. I didn’t want to die. And here Nick was, not able to wake out of his deep sleep to be of any help. I wasn’t even sure if he could help when he was awake. But it was worth a try.
“Nick, please. Something’s wrong,” I choked out. I hadn’t realized I was actually crying until I felt the wetness of tears cascading down my cheeks and the cracking in my voice. He jumped slightly and then sat up, squinting to try and see me through the darkness.
“Sarah?” He grunted out, his voice raspy with sleep. “What time is it? What’s going on?” He rubbed his hands over his face and yawned.
“It’s 2:30…” I mumbled and wiped my hands over my eyes to get rid of the tears. “Something’s wrong with my heart. My chest hurts really badly. I need to go to the hospital…” I tried explaining as rationally as possibly. After a few seconds, he didn’t seem to budge. He just sat, taking it all in. “I, uh, I can go call a cab or something…”I stood up, not really sure what else to do.
“No, no!” He jumped out of bed and grabbed a t-shirt from the floor. “I’ll drive you. I’ll go get Connor.” He hurried to the door across the hall and pushed it open. I stood up and waited for him in the kitchen, holding onto something for support. My chest was really hurting now. Shooting pains were springing from my heart to every inch of my body, or so it felt. I watched Nick carry a sleeping Connor out from his room towards us. He grabbed his keys and took my arm, leading me to the front door.
After we got situated in Nick’s SUV, he started for the nearest hospital. “What’s happening?” He finally asked after at least ten minutes of silence.
“I-I don’t know,” I choked out again. “I’ve never been so scared before, Nick.” I muttered and leaned my head against the window.
“It’s okay,” he reached over and took my hand in his, massaging his fingers over mine comfortingly. “You’re gonna be just fine. We’re going to get you to the hospital and they’re going to figure out what’s going on. Just relax, okay?” He sighed. I nodded and tried to focus on Nick’s hand rubbing mine and the lights in front of us. Anything to take my mind off the pain in my chest.
I sighed heavily as we pulled into the parking lot, just thankful we had finally gotten there. I felt like my chest was caving in, or something. As soon as we pulled up, Nick jumped out and hurried around to the side to help me out, then lifted Connor out of the back seat. A nurse hurried over as we entered the hospital. “What’s going on?” She asked as she helped me into a wheelchair.
“I have idiopathic dilatation of the main pulmonary artery,” I explained, tears still fresh in my eyes. Nick’s hand grasped mine as he walked with us where the nurse was taking me. “I think something’s wrong with my heart. My chest is hurting really, really badly. I don’t know what’s going on.” I began to ramble.
“Okay, you stay calm. I’m going to take you back to cardiology right now. Is this your husband?” She asked, glancing at Nick.
“Ex husband,” I corrected and brought my hand to my eyes.
“You know enough about her to fill out some paper work?” The nurse asked him. He nodded and swallowed hard, giving my hand a squeeze. “You stay out here with him and I’ll bring by that paper work. I’m going to take her back now.”
Nick nodded. “I’ll see ya when you get out.” He winked and I nodded, feeling a little safer just knowing he was there.
“Wait!” I called already halfway down the hall. “My son.” I motioned to Connor. The nurse smiled a small smile. Nick walked over and leaned Connor down; now Connor was about half awake. “I love you.” I whispered in his ear, trying not to cry. I kissed his forehead and nodded to the nurse. She pushed me through double doors and into a hallway full of stretchers and patient’s rooms. I went into a room where I recognized all the heart testing equipment.
“What’s your name?” She asked as she grabbed a folder from the door.
“Sarah James,” I swallowed hard and tried to take a deep breath, though it seemed so difficult.
“Ms. James, usually we make the patient fill out paperwork before coming back into the room, but your case is a bit different,” she tried explaining. “I’m going to let the doctor take a look at you before making any final decisions because, frankly, I’m not too aware of your condition. But I know you need to stay calm and relaxed, alright?”
I nodded again and closed my eyes. This was so scary; I wasn’t used to making middle of the night hospital visits. I decided to just wait it out. There was nothing I could do about it at this point. Now it was in the doctor’s hands. Well, theirs and God’s.
“Dad?” Connor mumbled and rubbed the sleep out of the corners of his eyes.
“Yeah, bud?” I said softly and kissed the side of his head. I knew he was going to start asking questions about where we were and why we were there, and honestly? I wasn’t sure I was ready to explain. He wasn’t completely sure of what Sarah had and I didn’t want to be the one to tell him she was really sick.
“Where are we?” He looked around the white waiting room we had been placed in where I was filling out paperwork.
“We’re at the hospital…” I started slowly. “Your mom’s kinda sick and she needed to come in and see a doctor.” I explained. He nodded slowly, trying to understand what I was saying.
“Is she okay?” He asked. I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen.
“Yeah, I think so,” I winked. “I’m going to call Uncle Brian and Aunt Leighanne in a little bit. There’s a vending machine in the other room. You wanna go get a soda or something?” I offered. He nodded so I pulled a few dollar bills out of my back pocket. “Don’t get lost.” I called after him and then turned back to the paperwork with a heavy sigh.
“Patient name,” I mumbled to myself. “Easy.” I shrugged, filling it in. “Status?” I read over the options; ‘Single’, ‘Married’, ‘Divorced’. I sighed and checked the last one. “Any allergies?” I grinned, remembering the two. Coconut and zithromax. It was strange how much I remembered, even stranger how well I had remembered it all. I glanced at the big clock on the wall. It was already almost 4am. I was going to be tired later.
I knew it was 1am back in California and figured AJ would probably still be awake. So I decided to try and call him.
“Nick? What the hell are you doing awake? Isn’t it like, 4 am over there?” I heard his voice after only two rings.
“Yeah,” I sighed and stood up to stretch my legs a bit. After getting a visual on Connor, I went back to talking to AJ. “Sarah’s really sick, man. Like, with that disease I was telling you about.” I tried to say softly so Connor wouldn’t overhear me.
“What happened?”
“She came to my room at like, 2:30 this morning saying her chest was really hurting and she thought something was wrong. She was crying, so I brought her into the hospital and they like, whisked her back there. I haven’t heard anything since,” I rubbed my temples. There was already a headache growing there.
“Oh man, I’m so sorry,” AJ muttered sympathetically. “Have you called Howie or Leigh? They’re in New York, right? Wait…” AJ paused. I frowned, wondering what had caused him to stop mid sentence. “She came to your…room?”
“Yeah,” I muttered, realizing he was going to question why she was in my apartment. “Last night, Connor came over to spend the weekend with me. He wanted her to come over for dinner, too. And, well, long story short…she did. Then we ended up talking late, so she just crashed on my couch. Nothing happened, I swear.” I rambled.
“Have you called Jake yet?” Ugh, that name. Jake. It hadn’t really hit me that her boyfriend would probably want to be a part of this.
“No…” I mumbled.
“Nick, you have to call him,” AJ said firmly. “You can’t just pretend it never happened. Let him know where you are. He’s in her life now. You need to start accepting that.”
It came off as rude and uncalled for, but yet it needed to be said. I needed to hear it. “You’re right, J. I’ll call him. Thanks.” I shuffled my feet.
“Okay, call me if you need me. I’ll hop on a plane out there for tomorrow morning,” he said. I grinned. The guys had always loved Sarah. She was a special part of their lives.
“I’m not sure it’s anything serious just yet, J. I’ll call you when I know more,” I shoved my hand in my pocket and continued to pace, something I was fairly good at.
“Alright. I’m here for you guys,” he said.
“I know,” I smiled. “Thanks.” I sighed and hung up, dialing Jake’s number.
