It had been storming here really badly the past few days. It wasn’t even snow – just lots of rain and even some thunder, which was really weird with it being midwinter. “I hate it when it storms…” Connor muttered as he pressed his nose against the window watching the rain come down. He had really been missing Sarah the past few days. Her surgery had gone over really well and everything seemed like it would work itself out in the end.
“How about we go see your mom? I’m sure she’d be up for some company,” I gave in. It wasn’t like I didn’t want to see Sarah...that wasn’t it at all. It was that every time I did go see Sarah, things were awkward. Not awkward in the sense that it had been because we were dealing with our divorce and trying to stay civil, awkward because I felt…strange around her.
“Okay,” he cheered up and smiled at me in the rearview mirror. I grinned back. Anything to make him happy. “Can we buy her more balloons and flowers?” Connor asked as he grasped my hand and we walked into the hospital.
I chuckled. “Bud, I think her room’s going to start getting cramped. We bring her stuff every time we see her,” I reminded him. Sarah probably had at least five dozen lilies and ten balloons. It was ridiculous. I saw Connor’s expression fall and I sighed, pulling out my wallet. “Fine, you pick something out. But how about something other than a balloon or flowers?” I suggested and he nodded.
“Mkay,” he grinned and hurried off into the gift shop at the bottom of the hospital. I glanced at my watch. 2:45. It was perfect timing for us to get up to see Sarah, then run off and get dinner for all of us.
“Hurry up, bud,” I called a few minutes later. I saw him eyeing a teddy bear holding a balloon and I nodded. “You can get that for her.”
“But it’s got a balloon,” Connor pointed out, making me chuckle. Smart kid.
“It’s fine. Your mom will like that one,” I winked and turned to the cashier as Connor pushed it up on the counter with a big grin.
“This is for my Mom,” he explained the woman at the registered, who smiled back as she rung up the stuffed animal and took the money from Connor. “She’s sick and she had surgery. So I wanna buy her something.”
“Oh really? You’re such a good son,” she smirked. “Your Mom’s lucky to have you and your Dad around!” She smiled up at me and I blushed. Oh no. I hated these conversations. Especially when they involved Connor.
“Well, they aren’t married anymore…they’re just friends,” he sounded so adult-like. And way too much information. I sighed and placed my hands on his shoulders.
“Alright bud, we should be getting up there,” I chuckled nervously towards the woman and took the change from her. “Thank you.” I nodded and headed outside the shop holding Connor’s hand in mine. “Connor, you don’t have to tell everyone that your mom and I aren’t married anymore…it’s awkward.” I made a sour face.
“Well why not? You aren’t married anymore,” he said matter-of-factly. “Besides, I don’t tell everyone.” I had to smile. He was too cute sometimes. “And why is it awkward?” Did he really have to ask these questions?
“Well…it’s just weird. I still care about your mom. When you say we’re divorced, sometimes people take it differently. A lot of times people that are divorced aren’t very nice to each other,” I tried to explain as we pushed the button to go up on the elevator.
“You and mom fight a lot,” Connor acknowledged.
“Everybody fights, little man,” I rubbed his head playfully and sighed, wondering how to begin explaining this. “No relationship is perfect. Your mom and I don’t fight half as much as a lot of other parents.” We really didn’t. There were definitely times where we argued, but there were also times where we didn’t. Some divorced couples could barely be in the same room together.
“Then why aren’t you together?” He asked just as the doors to the elevator opened. I sighed and stepped in, pushing the button for the second floor.
“Jeez, all the questions,” I chuckled, avoiding the previous question. I wasn’t sure what to say…not because I was trying to hide something from him. Just because I wasn’t really sure myself. I sighed and knelt down in front of him. “Connor, your mom and I love you so much, you know that right?” I asked him. One thing I promised myself when Sarah and I split up was that we’d never neglect Connor. Sure, I hadn’t been around as much as I probably should have when he was growing up, but I loved him very much and I hoped he knew that.
“I know,” he smiled as if it was a stupid question.
“Good,” I kissed his forehead. “Your mom and I might not always be friends…” I said slowly, trying to explain everything to him a little better. “But we’ll always love you so much.”
“You’ll always be friends,” he nodded. “I know it.” I had to laugh a little and nod as the doors opened on the second floor.
“Okay, if you say so,” I winked as we headed to her room.
I glanced towards the door as I heard someone turn the handle. My eyes lit up when I saw Connor with his big toothy grin. “Hey munchkin!” I exclaimed and opened my arms for him to run into them. I kissed the top of his head and grinned. “How ya been?” I winked. It had been too long that I was separated from him. It was already Friday. It had been almost a week since I’d had the surgery and I felt so much better than before.
“Good! Dad and I bought this for you!” He held up the stuffed bear and I grinned.
“You two spoil me way too much,” I winked up at Nick. I knew money wasn’t an issue for Nick, but really all this stuff was just too much. It seemed like every time he and Connor came to visit they’d bring something – flowers, balloons, stuffed animals…sometimes all three!
“Nah, you deserve it,” Nick laughed and sat down in a chair facing the bed.
“Momma! Guess what? I got an A on my spelling test!” Connor exclaimed with a smile. “Ask me how to spell ‘dog’!” I laughed along with Nick and nodded.
“Okay,” I grinned. “How do you spell ‘dog’, Connor?” I asked him seriously. He stood up straight and got a completely serious face on, making me bite my lip so I wouldn’t laugh out loud.
“Dog, D-O-G,” he said matter-of-factly.
“Good job, baby!” I kissed his forehead, laughing a little. “Did you study with daddy?” I asked him, glancing at Nick who nodded.
“Yep!” He smiled. “Dad’s a good teacher. He taught me how to spell it all and then I did really, really good on the test! So dad said maybe I can go to the basketball game this weekend!”
“Oh!” I smiled. “That’d be really nice of him. What else is new? Are you doing okay?” I ran my fingers through his blonde locks, trying not to allow myself to cry. I was a sap. Connor had never been away from me for very long. Usually he’d just spend a weekend every now and then with Nick. Sometimes he’d sleep over at Brian and Leighanne’s or Howie and Leigh’s for a night or two, but never this long. Besides, being cooped up in a hospital room wasn’t exactly fun.
“Yeah, the storm’s kinda scary, though,” he said, but tried to keep a brave face on. “Are you scared, mom? Because if you are, you can tell me and dad. We won’t tell.” He grinned while Nick and I laughed. The way we were all talking made it seem like we were a real family…together again. And I’d be a liar if I said it didn’t feel good.
“A little,” I nodded and ran my finger over his cheek. “You’re growing up, kid.” I sighed and I felt the tears coming. “You wanna run to the vending machine really quickly? I’m kinda craving M&M’s.” I winked.
“Can I eat the blue ones?” He grinned. I nodded and laughed.
“Don’t you always?” I beamed, tears continuing to well in my eyes. He nodded and ran off with the change to the vending machine across the hall.
“What’s wrong?” Nick asked as soon as he was out of the room. “Are you uncomfortable? In pain?” He immediately stood up and approached the bed, coming closer to me.
I shook my head. “No,” I tried wiping at the corner of my eyes to stop the tears before they even started. “I miss him so much. I’ve never been away from him for so long. I’m so thankful that he’s doing so well with you and I appreciate what you’re doing so much. I just miss my baby.” I sighed and looked out the window to the hallway so I could see the top of Connor’s blonde curls.
“Sar, I’m sorry,” Nick sighed and picked up my hand in his. “I promise you I’d let you know if he was having a hard time. And I definitely can tell he’s missing you. But he’s doing okay.” He promised. I nodded and sighed heavily as the door opened. Instead of Connor, it was Dr. Lewis. Connor followed in behind him with the brown bag of M&M’s. Connor looked up at him apprehensively.
“Sarah, do you have a minute?” Dr. Lewis asked and sat down next to the bed. I nodded and glanced at Nick and Connor.
“Do you need me alone…?” I asked. I wasn’t sure what he was going to tell me; I surely didn’t want Connor to hear anything inappropriate.
“No, it’s fine,” he smiled, reassuringly. I was able to breathe a sigh of relief and I smiled, nodding for him to continue. “I’ve looked over the results from the surgery, Sarah, and I’m really pleased. We were able to completely replace the artery. There are definitely many restrictions you need to follow, which I’ll go over with you and then have written down on paper for you. But I think it’s about time you can go home.” He beamed.
“Really?” I smiled, completely thrilled by the thought of sleeping in my own bed again and being able to be back with Connor.
“Absolutely! I don’t think there’s any reason to hold you captive here any longer,” he winked. “As long as you live with someone for a month or so that can help you around; you’re not going to be able to work, unfortunately.” He shook his head. “No driving for a few weeks. Try to stay off your feet for a little while…” Wait, was he really telling me I couldn’t live normally for a few weeks? And I had to live with someone…someone else?
“Oh, but my boyfriend’s in California…filming…” I said slowly. “Is there any way I could just stay on my own? I really don’t feel the need to stay with anyone…” I tried wording politely.
“Absolutely not,” he said firmly, but kindly. “Sarah, you just had a massive heart surgery. There’s no way you can be on your own for a little while. Do you have any friends that you could stay with?” The only friend I could think of was Paige. And she lived in a loft apartment in the middle of New York City with her boyfriend. Not exactly the perfect living arrangement – and there was no way Connor could move in there. It wasn’t very kid friendly, and besides, Paige didn’t have any guest bedrooms. I’d be sleeping on a pull-out couch.
“No…” I shook my head with a sigh, racking my brain to try and think of someone to live with.
“Uh…” Nick cleared his throat from the bedside. I cocked my head to question what he was about to say…and then it hit me. My eyes must have said it all, because next he said, “It wouldn’t be that bad, Sar. I mean, we’ve done it before…”
