“Momma! Momma!” Connor barged through the front door, carrying his backpack on one shoulder. He had a folder in one hand and a picture in the other. I grinned and swung my legs over the couch to greet him. It had been almost three weeks living with Nick and everything had gone rather well. Better than I could ever expect, at least.
“Hey buddy!” I grinned and wrapped my arms around him in a hug. I kissed the top of his blonde head and smiled. “What’s so exciting?” I pretended like I had no idea what was going on. He grinned his toothy grin showing off a spot where one of his front teeth used to be – his first visit ever from the tooth fairy had occurred a week ago.
“It’s Christmas break!” He cheered rather loudly. I laughed and nodded.
“That it is,” I sighed, pretending that it wasn’t anything exciting. “I guess that means that Christmas is coming up? Hm. Nothing too exciting about that. I don’t know of any little boys around here getting a visit from Santa Clause.” I tapped my chin, acting as though I had forgotten all about him.
Connor rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Oh Momma. Everyone knows Santa isn’t real.” He sighed. My jaw dropped and my eyes grew wide in bewilderment.
“Connor Nickolas!” I exclaimed. “Of course Santa’s real.” How in the world did my innocent, precious six-year-old already know there wasn’t a Santa Clause? “Who in the world told you that?” I frowned as he dropped his backpack to the floor along with the other belongings he held in his hands. He shrugged.
“Austin mentioned it first. Then Chris told me the same thing. And Baylee knows too,” he nodded his head about some friends from school and Brian and Leighanne’s son, Baylee. They had visited us in New York a week or so ago for a few days and Baylee and Connor hit it off.
“Well, Santa’s real,” I said matter-of-factly. “And if you don’t believe in his magic then you won’t get presents on Christmas.” I raised my eyebrows and his big blue eyes got big, making me grin. I leaned in and kissed his cheek. “So what’d you bring home for me?” I asked, trying my best to change the subject.
“A picture!” Connor remembered the construction paper he had in his hands a few moments ago. He grabbed it off the carpeted floor and held it up for me to see. I frowned, trying to decipher the picture. Seeing my confusion, he quickly explained. “It’s you, me and Daddy. We’re in Florida.” He pointed to what I assumed was supposed to be the ocean in the background and the bright sun above.
“Oh,” I smiled. “It’s very nice, Con.” I beamed, a proud mother at her best. “I’ll put it up on the refrigerator.” I stood up and walked over to the kitchen. “Buddy, I think your Uncle Aaron and Aunt Angel might come spend Christmas with us this year!” I exclaimed, hoping he’d be excited. Connor really never got to know any of his relatives. He called all the guys from the Backstreet Boys his ‘uncles’ and their significant others his ‘aunts’. However I had always been an only child and both of my parents had moved to North Carolina when I married Nick. So he rarely saw them. Connor used to never even see Nick, so therefore he didn’t ever see Nick’s siblings or parents.
“Cool,” Connor said simply as he pulled out the Xbox Nick had purchased for him when we ‘moved’ in. He started fidgeting around with the games. I sighed and pulled out a magnet from the fridge to put up Connor’s picture.
“I bet your Uncle Aaron likes to play Xbox, too,” I grinned, trying to get him excited. I knew this holiday season would be awkward. As if living with Nick wasn’t awkward enough. I glanced at the clock; it was already almost four. “Where’d your Dad go?” I frowned, realizing Connor didn’t drive himself home from school, obviously.
“On the phone,” Connor answered simply as he began playing his basketball game.
“Okay, well don’t get too comfortable there, mister. I’m going to start dinner soon,” I pulled open the cabinet to decide on what to do for dinner. I settled on simple spaghetti and meatballs. I filled a pot with water and set it on the stove to boil when I heard the front door open.
“Nice shot, Con,” Nick commented as he passed by the living room and headed into the kitchen. “Hey.” He sighed. He pulled up a stool to the counter and sat down, leaning on his hands.
“Hey,” I answered simply. The curiosity was about to get to me – he had been outside an awfully long time on the phone. But Nick’s business was no longer any of my business. “Everything okay?” I decided on asking instead of the juicy, ‘So who was that on the phone?’ question.
“Yeah,” he licked his lips. Oh no. That was never good. I stopped what I was doing and turned towards him, one hand on my hip; just waiting for him to continue. “Uh, that was Johnny on the phone.”
“Wright?” I frowned. In the few weeks I had been living with Nick, Johnny had only called once. Nick had explained the situation and that he didn’t really feel that it was appropriate to leave Connor and me alone in New York. He said that we were his top priority – he that could’ve fooled me years ago.
“Yeah,” Nick nodded. “We’re talking about going into the studio again early January before we take off for the South American part of the tour…” he explained. I had to mentally tell myself not to allow my jaw to drop. I guess I had forgotten about the tour? Either that or Nick had never mentioned it. “Well, Chris Brown wants to record our first single with us.” He chuckled, his smile finally busting out. “Chris freaking Brown, Sarah! Do you know how incredible that is?” I laughed at his excitement. He was now dancing around the kitchen. Connor had paused his game and come into the kitchen to see what all the commotion was about. “Chris Brown is so popular right now, this is HUGE!”
“I’m so happy for you!” I grinned as he came over and gave me a big hug.
“What’s goin’ on?” Connor frowned and cocked his head to the side.
“Daddy’s going to record in the studio with Chris Brown in a few weeks!” He beamed and lifted Connor into the air. “We need to celebrate! Where’s the one place you want to go to dinner, Con? Any place in New York or even Jersey for that matter. Anywhere at all!” Nick spun Connor around and he giggled.
The excitement was great – it was nice to see Nick so happy. But at the same time, I kept thinking about what he had said. The tour. South America. Nick was leaving. I should’ve known it couldn’t possibly last. Nick had another life to live. A life that he loved; something neither Connor or I could ever prevent him from doing. “Chuck E. Cheese!” Connor exclaimed making Nick laugh.
“Ya sure, bud? Anywhere in New York?” He tried enticing him to pick a fancier restaurant. Both Nick and I knew Connor hated getting dressed up and going out to a fancy, upper-scale restaurant.
“I’m sure,” he beamed. Nick placed him down on the ground and turned back towards me.
“I’m so happy for you, Nick,” I smiled, trying my hardest to push the thoughts of him leaving to the back of my mind. “It’s so exciting.”
“Yeah,” Nick shook his head with a laugh. “I just can’t believe it. I can’t believe he agreed to it.” He glanced back up at me and a frown creased his brow. “You okay? You look kinda…bummed.” I shrugged.
“Not bummed! Not at all. Just tired,” I smiled and turned off the stove, dumping out the water in the process.
“Are you okay for going out to dinner?” He asked and ran his fingers through his dirty blonde hair. I nodded quickly with a smile.
“I feel great!” I lied. I felt devastated and I wasn’t even sure why. Nick and I weren’t together – far from it. I sighed and pulled my light brown hair behind my shoulders in a low ponytail. “Let me just go get changed and we can get ready to leave.” I grinned. I pulled the boiling water off the stove and dumped it carefully into the sink, turning off the stove in the process.
“Sounds great,” Nick smiled. “I’m gonna call Howie and see if he and Leigh might want to join us.” He stepped into his bedroom and closed the door. I stepped into mine and closed my eyes. I picked out a black sweater that stretched down to my thighs in a form-fitting manner with a pair of jeans. I pulled out the ponytail and ran a brush through my hair, adding a bit of mascara and lip gloss.
“Connor, go ahead and get your shoes and coat on please!” I called into the living room. I heard him clean up his game and hurry into my room. “Hey bud, I think your coat is still by the front door from when you came home from school.” I looked down at him, his head down and his hands wringing. “You okay, Con?” I frowned and knelt down to his level.
“Where are we gonna go?” He frowned, his blue ocean eyes full of worry. My brow furrowed much like his.
“What do you mean, buddy? We’re going to Chuck E. Cheese for dinner, remember?”
“No, Momma,” he sighed, rolling his eyes. “Where are we gonna go when Daddy goes on tour?” He asked matter-of-factly.
“Well. We’ll probably go back home…” I explained. “By then I should be fine to be back on my feet on my own again.”
“When Daddy comes home will we come back?” He asked softly, as if he already knew the answer and he wasn’t happy with it. Almost as if he wished the answer wasn’t what he expected.
I swallowed hard and glanced down towards the white plush carpet. “Uh, probably not kiddo. But I’m sure you’re Dad will be around a lot more and you’ll be able to spend more time with him…” I tried making it seem reasonable; make it all okay. I swear I saw tears in his beautiful eyes. And it tore me up inside. “But hey! Your Dad will probably come back to New York a lot more to spend time with you.” I explained, running my fingers through his blonde hair. “Things have changed a lot, Con. Our relationship with your Dad is a lot different than how it used to be.”
Connor nodded and sighed heavily. “Things are gonna be really different when he leaves.” He made a face and I smirked.
“It’ll be okay. I promise,” I winked. “You can even ask your Dad. Maybe we’ll go visit him on tour or something.” I shrugged and immediately regretted saying that out loud. I saw his big blue eyes light up and a smile tug at the corners of his lips.
“Really?!” He grinned.
“Maybe,” I quickly jumped back into the conversation. “I said maybe, buddy. The flights out to South America are really expensive. But we’ll talk about it once it gets closer. Go get your coat and shoes!” I stood up and patted his behind to get him moving. He giggled and hurried out of my room. I groaned and grabbed my purse and coat off the chair by the door, meeting the boys in the living room.
“Ready?” Nick grinned and I nodded. The three of us walked out of the apartment and down the stairs to the car, like a family would. The thought brought a warm feeling to my heart and a smile to my lips. Family.
Author's Chapter Notes:
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