I sipped coca-cola through my straw as I watched Connor play another game. The smell of feet and cheese pizza was a little nauseating, but I made do – Chuck E. Cheese was Connor’s favorite place. “So…how are things?” Leigh grinned as she took a bite of her pizza. Nick and Howie were standing over by Connor’s game chatting. I knew they were probably talking about being back in the studio and the upcoming tour.
“Things are alright,” I shrugged with a grin. “I’ve been feeling really great lately. I’ve been able to be up and moving around.” I nodded and watch Connor high-five Nick after winning a long strand of tickets.
“Have you talked to Jake at all?” Leigh was the newest addition to the Backstreet family, though she had been around for a while. We all knew she’d end up with Howie one day; we just weren’t sure when it would happen, exactly. I was closest to Leighanne out of the women, but Leigh and I had become so much closer once she and Howie moved up north.
I shook my head ‘no’ and took another drink from my cup. “Not at all. I know he’s back in the city for a little while on break from filming,” I sighed. I was really hoping I’d never had to see him again. Though I knew that was immature and fairly inappropriate. I wasn’t sure how he felt about everything. We really hadn’t talked in a few weeks – I wasn’t sure if that was enough cool-off time or not. I knew I wasn’t interested in a relationship with Jake anymore. It wasn’t working; we both knew that. But at the same time, he was someone I spent years of my life with. He was around while Connor was growing up, more than Nick ever was. I didn’t want to just cut him out of my life.
“Howie actually ran into him the other day,” Leigh made a face. I knew the curiosity could have killed me, but I tried not to wear it on my face. Instead I distracted myself by taking another drink of my soda.
“Oh really?” I tried sounding as indifferent as possible. “Where at?”
“Downtown, actually,” Leigh explained. “Howie was picking up some fresh flowers for me because I was running late at work and Jake was there.” Jake? Flowers? What? “Howie said he looked good. He asked how you were doing. Howie told him that you were feeling much better and adjusting back to life.” She described. “Howie really didn’t want to give away too many details…he wasn’t sure what was appropriate and what wasn’t.” She shrugged.
“I appreciate it,” I nodded and smiled over at Connor who had just won another game. “It’s just so hard, ya know? He’s talking about marriage and kids…when I’m not sure I could ever get married again. I’m completely content with how life is.” I sighed. “I love Connor to bits and pieces and I don’t regret him at all. But at the same time, I’m not sure I want any more kids…”
“I understand,” Leigh put her hand on mine. “You don’t have to explain anything to me.” She winked. “Jake is a different personality, Sar. He was the complete opposite of Nick.”
I nodded and looked over at Nick, laughing hysterically at something random. “That he is…or was.” I muttered.
“Nick’s changed a lot, Sarah,” Leigh raised her eyebrows and sat back in her chair, sipping from her straw. “I’m not going to push you back to him, but I will tell you that he’s improved so much in the last two months or so that he’s been talking to you again…”
I watched as Nick glanced back at us and I looked away. “I know.” I nodded. “You’re right.”
“Momma! Momma!” Connor yelled and ran over to me. “Check it out!” He beamed and held out his handfuls of ticket strands. “Dad won these…” he piled the majority of the tickets on the table. “Then Uncle Howie and I won these.” Leigh and I both laughed at how much smaller their pile was. Granted, Howie probably won most of his and Connor’s shared stash, but still.
“Hey, no fair,” Howie walked up behind Connor. “Nick was playing before we even got here.” He whined. Leigh rolled her eyes.
“You’re such a kid,” she laughed.
“Oh great, just wait until you guys decide to have kids,” I started. “Nick was such a huge kid when we got pregnant. Thankfully Connor turned out alright,” I winked. We all looked around; it was nice that I could joke about things again. Before it was like whenever I’d talk about Nick and my relationship I was walking on egg shells. I’m sure everyone else felt the same.
Howie and Leigh stole a glance at each other. Leigh bit her bottom lip and smiled. “Should we tell them?” She asked him and he nodded.
“Go for it,” he urged her, rubbing her shoulders comfortingly.
“We’re pregnant!” Leigh exclaimed, laughter heavy on her voice. I squealed and my eyes nearly popped; I had no idea they were trying. I instantly jumped up and hugged her; Nick did the same with Howie. We were all laughing and chatting, having a grand time.
“That’s so great, Leigh. Congratulations!” I grinned and sat back down. Nick and Howie went on chatting, probably about kids/touring/life. I touched her hand gently. “If you need anything, anything at all, please call me.” She grinned and nodded.
“Absolutely. I’ll probably take you up on that,” she chuckled. “I’m so excited but nervous at the same time.” She sighed.
“Aw, I know,” I nodded, completely aware of what she was feeling. “When Connor was on the way I was so nervous and unsure about what to do, how to take care of myself, how to take care of him!” I laughed. “It was all so new to me. But I’m here for you. I’ve been there, done that. So any questions, concerns…please call.” She nodded.
“It’s really nice to have you so close. Whenever we’re not traveling – well, I’m not going to be doing much of that this tour,” she laughed nervously. “But whenever we’re not traveling I’m usually here. So it’ll be nice to have you around.” She rubbed my arm with a grin.
I had completely forgotten about the tour, once again. “Is Howie going to be able to take time off?” I asked her. I knew that was probably something she had been avoiding, but I was curious and I felt like it wasn’t too touchy of a subject.
She sighed and I realized it might be. “Well, the baby’s due in September right now – but it’s so early to tell,” she touched her belly nonchalantly. “But once it gets closer I really hope he can take a break for a while. I don’t see why he couldn’t.” She shrugged.
I nodded. “I’m sure it’ll all be fine.” I grinned. “To be completely honest, I wasn’t even aware they were leaving to go on tour again until this afternoon.” I chuckled as if it were funny, but in my heart I knew I was laughing to disguise the hurt I felt.
“Really?” Leigh’s eyes bulged. “Wow, I thought we might have talked about it before, but I guess we haven’t. Nick didn’t tell you?”
“He might have,” I shrugged it off, as if it were no big deal. “I must have just forgotten.” I said coolly. “I’m a little worried about Connor, though.” I sighed and watched him climb up the indoor jungle gym and play in the sea of rainbow-colored plastic balls. “He’s so used to Nick being there every morning to take him to school and picking him up every afternoon. He’s used to him being at dinner, playing with him in the park…all that stuff.” I shrugged.
Leigh smirked and I wasn’t quite sure why. “What is it?” I asked her.
“Nothing, it just sounds to me like it might be you who is more worried to see Nick go,” she raised her eyebrows again in that all-knowing stare. “Sarah, you can admit these things to me.” She grinned. “I won’t tell.” I rolled my eyes. “Really! I won’t!” She exclaimed with laughter playing on her tone.
“I know, I know,” I sighed. “There’s just so much drama right now…I haven’t really talked to anyone about this.” I bit my bottom lip. It was the truth. I hadn’t even brought it up with Paige yet. It was just something I wasn’t willing to talk about with anyone. “It’s just, I think these are mixed feelings. Nick is being so great right now. I just have a feeling I’m going to wake up from this dream sometime soon and everything’s going to go back to the way it was before.” I sighed. “He’s going to go on tour, fall back into those rock star traps he always manages to find, and he’s gonna forget about me and Connor.” I couldn’t help it. I felt the tears start to well up in my eyes.
“Sarah, he is not going to forget about the two of you!” Her expression became sympathetic and she took my hand in hers. “Nick has changed so much. He loves Connor and he cares about you so much. His life has changed the past few months. A lot. He’s not going to just forget about any of it.” She reassured me.
“This just scares me,” I shrugged. I wiped at the tears falling from my eyes. “Before he came back into my life I couldn’t picture living with anyone ever again or being with another man ever again. And now I can’t seem to picture my life without him.” She rubbed my hand consolingly and gave me a small smile.
It was the truth. Nick Carter had managed to come into my life again and turn everything around. Only instead of everything being upside down like it was when he left me, it was all now right side up; and I wanted it to stay that way forever.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the reviews! Seriously, you guys have no idea how much your reviews encourage me to write! I just want to remind you all that this is PURELY FICTIONAL! There are certain topics discussed in this chapter that ARE NOT REAL. Thanks =). PLEASE keep the reviews coming! I'll update soon!
Chapter End Notes:
So, like I said. This story is a work of FICTION. Howie and Leigh are not expecting (to my knowledge). Let's not allow rumors to get started here, folks. Thanks!
