I knocked on the door twice. After no answer, I pushed it open myself, making a mental note to talk to Nick about leaving the front door open like that. It was dangerous; especially in a city like New York. “Connor? Baby?” I muttered softly. I heard the noise from the TV and in the soft glow, I saw Connor laying on his stomach, feet in the air behind him watching cartoons. I folded my arms across my chest and glanced into the attached kitchen where Nick was whistling to himself and cooking. “Um, hello?” I waved, trying to get their attention.
Nick’s head bolted up, obviously aware now that someone had entered the apartment without him realizing. “Jesus, Sarah. You scared the shit out of me,” he frowned, confused. “What are you doing here?” Now I was the one to be confused.
“What do you mean, what am I doing here? Connor called,” I motioned to the little boy that was standing in front of me with a sheepish grin. All of a sudden, it hit me. I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Connor Nickolas, did you lie to me when you told me you were sick?” I knelt down in front of him.
“Well, not completely,” he played with his fingers. “My tummy feels kinda funny. But I wanted you to come over.” He tried to make up for it all.
“Connor, you can’t lie like that,” I scolded him.
“Wait, what do you mean he called you?” Nick was so out of the blue with all of this.
“Connor called and said that he wasn’t feeling well and he needed me to come and pick him up,” I sighed and stood up to be eye level with Nick. “Jake got mad and everything. We were supposed to be having dinner tonight.” I mumbled.
“Connor’s not sick,” Nick frowned. “You can go back and have dinner or whatever.” He turned back to the kitchen to finish cooking.
“No Mommy! Stay!” Connor latched on to my leg and wouldn’t let go. I rolled my eyes. When he was a baby he’d do the same thing; especially if he didn’t want me to leave for work or whatnot.
“Ugh,” I mumbled. “Connor Nickolas, get off. You’re a big boy.” I said firmly. “What you did tonight was really wrong. I had grown-up plans and you were supposed to be spending time with your father on your own. One-on-one time,” I looked into those big blue eyes.
“Sorry,” he mumbled. “Can’t you stay and have pizza? I made my own!” He exclaimed, a smile brightening his face as he remembered that he had complete control over his own pizza. “Come see it.” He tugged my arm and pulled me into the kitchen. I laughed as I glanced at the cheese swamping over the dough and sauce.
“That’s a lot of cheese, Con,” I winked and kissed the top of his head. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t stay mad at that kid longer than five minutes. Call it one of my flaws, but I knew he was sorry. He didn’t mean to hurt anybody in the process.
“I like cheese,” he grinned. “So…will you stay? I’ll make you one!” He exclaimed.
I sighed heavily. “Buddy, your Mom has a dinner with Jake to get back to. Maybe another time,” Nick decided to butt in as he put one of the trays of pizza into the oven. He winked at me and I smirked.
“Actually,” I sighed. “Jake left already.” I didn’t feel like going into much more detail. I contemplated just staying and making Connor happy. Nick raised his eyebrows, knowing something must have happened for Jake to just leave. “So, I guess I’ll stay.” I shrugged in Connor’s direction. “At least, as long as that’s okay with your Dad.” I glanced back up at Nick.
“Sure,” he shrugged. Connor cheered some and ran back into the living room to watch his show. “So what happened with Jake?” He asked as he pulled out more dough, sauce and cheese to make my pizza. I watched him walk to the cabinet and pull out a can of black olives. Instinctively, I smiled. He remembered.
I decided against bringing up the fact that after all this time, Nick still remembered how I liked my pizza. “I guess he was just jealous that I’d be coming over here or something.” I shrugged with a sigh. “He doesn’t like me spending time over here.”
“Jealous?” Nick laughed. “It’s not like we’re going to hop in bed and I’m going to fuck you.” I was mad he found it so humorous.
“Shut up, Nick. Connor’s in the other room,” I mumbled and folded my arms across my chest. It was like he could do something as sweet as remembering what I wanted on my pizza and then go to make a rude and uncalled for remark like that.
“He’s not going to hear me,” Nick rolled his eyes. He went back to putting the pizza in the oven.
“Jake proposed tonight,” I sat down in a stool against the countertop. Nick turned around with wide eyes. Well, that was enough to get his attention.
“Congrats,” he muttered. “When’s the wedding?” He seemed surprised that Jake had already proposed, but he didn’t seem fazed by the fact at all. But part of me wondered if maybe he was trying to hide the fact that he was moved by it.
“I said ‘no’,” I muttered, as if it wasn’t a big deal at all. Both Nick and I knew it was a big deal, though. For a second, I thought Nick was going to say something rude or mean, but instead, he turned towards me with a sympathetic gaze.
“Why?” Was all he was able to say.
“I’m not ready for marriage, Nick,” I tried to smile. “I’m not sure if marriage is a part of my future. But right now, it seems like it’s not. And I think Jake is looking for someone he can love forever. I’m not sure if I’m that someone.” I shrugged.
“I’m really sorry,” he mumbled and set the timer so we’d know when the pizza was done baking.
“For what?” I questioned. “It’s not your fault.”
“It kind of is,” his big blue eyes found mine. Now it was my turn to look shocked. Nick was never the one to admit when something was his fault, whether it truly was or wasn’t. He was incredibly stubborn, something that bothered me so much about him. “I ruined your idea of marriage.”
“So?” I shrugged, even though part of me agreed with him. “I ruined yours.” I shot back.
“Nah,” he shook his head. “I was never planning on getting married in the first place.” At least he was honest. His honesty, however, made me feel nauseous. “My parents ruined that for me.” He winked again. I sighed and nodded. “Oh…” he started. “You still like black olives on your pizza, right?” He questioned, even though the pizza was already in the oven. “I just assumed…”
“Yeah,” I chuckled. “I do. I was surprised you still remembered.” I raised my eyebrows. Nick was never one to remember much of anything. He could barely remember what he had for dinner the night before, and here he was remembering what I liked on my pizza from five years ago.
“Yeah, well,” he shrugged. “Some things just stick with me.”
I nodded. I knew how he felt. I could still remember so much, yet I tried helplessly to get myself to forget it all. Like the way I felt when Nick’s arms were around me…it was like we fit…kind of like a puzzle? And the way his kisses felt.
I shook my head. Nick didn’t love me anymore. I needed to just get over it already.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks for the reviews! Keep 'em coming!
